"He-he-he can't die," Sam stammers. He looks up to Callen, barely able to stop himself from running out of the room to go find Deeks. Callen's reaction is much different than he had expected- the lead agent sits down at the edge of the bed with a slightly confused expression on his face.
Sam begins to anxiously rub his chest before he catches his partner's expression. "What?" he snaps.
"Nothing…it's just that I've never seen you act so upset for Deeks being hurt," Callen replies softly. His words hit Sam hard as it's a sign that others have noticed his harsh behavior towards the detective. Callen cocks his head slightly when he sees Sam look down at his lap. He drops his hand in his lap as well and asks, "How do you think I feel about Deeks….honestly."
Callen shifts uneasily in his spot. Sam can see an uncomfortableness that seems to say Please don't make me answer this question. It doesn't stop Sam from pushing his partner, "Don't hold back anything. Please, G, just tell me."
"What happened out there, Sam? What's making you ask this?"
Sam gives Callen a pleading look. "G, please….."
Callen rubs the back of his neck and sighs. He doesn't like where this'll go, especially knowing that Sam's never once been concerned about his relationship with Deeks. "Well in all honesty, you don't care for Deeks the same way you do for Kensi and me. I don't know if he's still the temp that you called him, nothing but a co-worker or an actual friend. That's why I'm surprised at how you're acting, which bring me back to the question at hand- what happened?"
"I said some things to him before the op," Sam starts to say, but chokes up. He knows that Callen and the rest of the team will be disappointed or even furious with him; Deeks most likely never speaking to him again. "He was being his usual self while we were staking out the hotel with Michelle and I snapped at him. He questioned why I keep being hard on him and said it was because he was different and what that difference said about his character."
Sam looks away from Callen and waits for a response from his partner- a loud gasp, a curse, an outburst- anything. After a minute, Sam looks back up to see Callen staring at him with crossed arms and a dropped jaw.
"G-"
Callen shakes his head in disbelief. He starts to head for the door. "I guess that answers all my questions."
"Callen, wait!" Sam yells as he sits forward. The movement causes one of the EKG cords to disconnect and causes a loud beeping from the machine. Sam doesn't bother with the cable and calls out, "I screwed up! I know that I've been an ass to Deeks and shouldn't have taken me this long to realize this. Seeing him lay there and taking that torture-"a tear ran down his face, "he can't die."
Callen stops at the foot of the door and turns around to face his partner. "Do you know that after he was kidnapped on the Van Buren, the first thing he did was to apologize to me, Kensi, and then hesitantly ask me how pissed you were about it? He also asked me every day if you were ok while we were hunting for Sidarov. He admires you, Sam, and this is going to hurt him in so many ways."
Sam wipes his face and nods. "I know…."
"Look, Sam. If you truly didn't care about Deeks, you wouldn't be in tears right now," Callen states. "I'm going to go check on Kens, Michelle, and Deeks. In the meantime….just reevaluate how you see things, alright?"
Sam swallows hard and watches his partner walk out the door. I've been doing that for days, Callen. Don't worry.
"Take it easy, Michelle. I'm not having the doctors yell at me for you popping a stich."
"Relax, Callen. That doctor's a pain in the ass. He acted like moving me in here was the end of the world."
Michelle? Sam's eyes fly opens when he hears his wife's voice. Michelle is sitting up in a hospital bed across from his, speaking relative calmly along with Callen. He can also see that Kensi's sitting on the edge of the bed while half listening to their conversation and glancing behind her.
"I know that moan and groan from anywhere," Michelle suddenly calls out. She leans forward and weakly smiles at her husband. "Hey, baby."
"Michelle," Sam gasps and immediately swings his legs off the side of the bed. Callen's up in an instant and puts his hand up while saying, "Take it easy, Sam."
"Nope." Sam slides off the bed and lands on shaky feet. Callen reaches out to place his hand around Sam's waist and his other arm over his shoulder to assist. Michelle slowly pushes off the bed sheets and stands up to wrap her arms around Sam. For both of them, it's considered to be one of the best moments of their lives.
"I'm ok and you're ok," Michelle whispers softly. She kisses him and chuckles softly. Sam kisses her cheek and glances over to Kensi. She's sitting almost perfectly still while staring blankly at the bed on the opposite side of Michelle's. Sam swallows hard as his eyes travel over to the bed.
Deeks is lying on the bed, completely covered in a long white blanket. He's unconscious and lying with two wide medal orthodontic spacers in his mouth. Sam can also see that Deeks is wearing a nasal oxygen tube and has brown restraints on both of his wrists.
"Take it off!" Sam exclaims. He pulls away from Michelle, "Why would they- tell them to take the restraints and the spacers off! He's going to lose it-"
"We know. The doctors were told this and they overruled us," Kensi speaks up faintly. "They don't care- in their eyes, he's going to wake up and go ballistic either way. But does it matter to you, Sam, or are you going to wait until the next time he's dying before you admit that you give a damn?"
Sam freezes and sees a cold Kensi turn in her spot towards him. She looks exhausted, scared, and most prominently-angry. Sam looks to his wife for support and gets only a you're on your own look. "Callen told you what I had said."
Kensi stands up and uses only one crutch for support. "No, when you two were talking, I was out in the hallway hearing every word. So was your intention to hurt him or was this another way overblown outburst at Deeks being…well, Deeks?"
"It was an outburst- I'm sorry…"
"I have just lost all my respect for you, Sam!" Kensi exclaims. She turns around and limps over to Deeks' bed side where she plops down in a chair. Sam opens his mouth to try to add something else, but a gentle touch on the shoulder from Michelle stops him. There's nothing else that he can say to make Kensi less angry with him or to justify his actions.
So he does what he can only do.
"Can you pass me my badge, G?" Sam asks. Callen raises his eyebrow before reluctantly following through. Sam's badge is on top of the black duffel bag that Callen had brought to the hospital a few days ago. Callen quickly returns to Sam side and hands over the shiny NCIS badge. Sam reaches into the back pocket of the badge and pulls out a silver St. Michael patron pendant with the U.S Marine logo on the back. He starts to limp over to Deeks' bed without Callen or Michelle stopping him. Even Kensi watches him in a sad awe.
When Sam reaches Deeks' side, he opens the detective's hand and places the pendant in his palm. He gives Deeks' hand a quick squeeze before heading back to his bed.
Like before, there's nothing else that he can do or say.
Sam just hopes that giving Deeks his lucky pendent is a start in the right direction.