Mean

She didn't know why it was bothering her so much.

But it was.

"Do you think I'm mean?" Hiccup faltered for a moment halfway through closing his door, startled by Astrid's sudden appearance. In all fairness, Astrid had pretty much jumped the boy as soon as he left his house, but Astrid wasn't really that concerned with being fair at the moment.

"Hello to you too, Astrid." Hiccup said dryly as he finished closing the door behind him. Astrid frowned, a little anxious that Hiccup hadn't answered her question.

"Do you think I'm mean?" She repeated, taking a firm stance to stop Hiccup from going anywhere until he answered.

"Is this about what Fishlegs said the other day in the cave? You're still upset about that?" Hiccup looked a little baffled, like it hadn't occurred to him that Astrid could be self-conscious about the opinions that the others had about her.

"I'm not upset!" Astrid scowled. It wasn't a total lie. Okay, it did bother her a little that Fishlegs had said that, and that Snotlout had more or less backed it up, but whatever. Fishlegs was a dweeby coward, and Snotlout a brainless slug.

But what if Hiccup thought she was mean?

Hiccup seemed to sense that Astrid was more serious then he first thought, since he gave her a long look for a moment before sighing heavily.

"You're not mean, Astrid." Hiccup said plainly. Astrid frowned, unconvinced.

"You're just saying that." She accused the brunet irritably. "You're probably worried I'll hit you if you tell me the truth." Because that was just it, wasn't it? The more Astrid thought about it, the more she realized that she could be pretty mean.

"No I'm not." Hiccup said, sounding exasperated.

"Yes you are." Astrid shot back, glaring as she fought the urge to hit Hiccup for lying to her. Of course he thought she was mean. He had to, since apparently everyone else did. And he had more right than anyone to think she was mean, with the way she had developed the habit of pushing him around for no reason other than the fact that she kinda liked him and didn't want to say that because that was weird and what else was she supposed to do with these feelings?!

But more than her being mean, the fact that he would lie to her about it really pissed Astrid off. If he just came out and said she was mean to him then yeah, okay, fine. She could work on fixing that and become a better friend. But lying? Thinking that she wasn't strong enough to handle the truth?! That really made Astrid mad.

"For the love of- You're not mean!" Hiccup repeated himself, his annoyance dissolving into something resembling real anger. Astrid scowled at him before turning to storm away.

That's when Hiccup exploded.

"You want to know what mean is, Astrid?!" Hiccup demanded hotly, clearly beyond fed up with the conversation. "Mean is making fun of someone for something they can't help, like being smaller than everyone else or not being strong or coordinated or right-handed! Mean is telling someone they're not cool enough to sit with you, or that they're a loser and a screw-up! Mean is taking someone else's stuff when they're using it, or ruining something they spent days or weeks working on just because you think it'd be funny! Mean is telling someone that they should've never been born, or that they should just do everyone a favor and get themselves eaten by a dragon!" Stunned, Astrid froze in place at Hiccup's incensed speech, suddenly feeling very small and petty.

No one talked much about the days before Hiccup was a hero anymore, least of all Hiccup himself. When he'd first started getting noticed, Astrid had thought that Hiccup's sudden rise in popularity had made him forget all about the things the other Vikings had said and done to him when he was a pariah and that he was soaking up all the attention he now had from the clan. Then, after getting to know him a little better, Astrid assumed he'd just forgiven and forgotten, as Hiccup was far too nice for his own good. She never for a second thought that it would still be there, bothering him and haunting him even now.

Meekly, Astrid turned back to look at Hiccup again, seeing how serious his green eyes were as they regarded her. He'd calmed down now, but there was still something lingering in his face, a pain that had always been carefully hidden and played down as much as possible, which Astrid only just noticed.

"You're not mean, Astrid." Hiccup repeated again, and this time Astrid finally believed that he honestly meant it. "You're blunt, and honest and you don't take any crap from anyone. You do your best at everything you do and expect others to commit themselves just as much. You hate people who lie and trick and steal instead of doing things the right way. You can be competitive and scary and aggressive sometimes, but you're not mean. Trust me, I know mean."

Astrid didn't really know how to respond to that, other than blushing violently and averting her eyes away from Hiccup. After taking a second to gather her courage, Astrid stepped forward and buried her hands into Hiccup's vest, yanking the shorter boy forward to kiss him full on the lips. As usual, Hiccup was surprised by Astrid's sudden assault. Unlike the previous kisses the two had shared, though, Astrid lingered this time instead of breaking it off, until Hiccup cautiously began kissing her back.

When the two finally parted, Hiccup stared at Astrid in some sort of awed delight for a moment as the blonde fidgeted and panicked at the swirl of emotions she was feeling.

"I… um… bye." The brave, no-nonsense warrior finally mumbled out before fleeing from Hiccup like a troll was on her tail.

She still didn't feel like she wasn't mean. After all, she knew about the abuse Hiccup suffered while he was living through it and hadn't done a thing to stop it. Maybe she hadn't actively taunted him like the others, but doing nothing was just as bad. Worse, because she knew that the others were being idiots, but hadn't cared since she figured that if Hiccup didn't have the backbone to stand up to them himself, then he wasn't worth her effort to defend.

She had written him off as a coward and a wimp, and it had taken him standing up to her about Toothless to realize how wrong she was. That night, she finally saw Hiccup for the first time, and she hadn't been able to close her eyes to that ever again. Just because she wasn't an idiot who couldn't admit when they messed up didn't make Astrid a nice person. But it made her really, REALLY happy that Hiccup didn't see her that way.

Besides, her dork was nice enough for the both of them. Plus some.