Chapter 9; The Birthday Wish

.

I blinked my eyes few times, adjusting to the striking sunlight that coming from my bedroom window. I forgot to pull the curtain last night, forgot to change my office attire, forgot to take a shower before sleep and even forgot how I managed to sleep in my own bed. I looked at my bedroom door, I felt that I don't want to get up from my bed forever and walked through that door to face the hurtful reality behind there.

I am a coward, I perfectly knew that but I can't hide in my room forever. In fact today is Yul Jin's birthday, the day that changed me into a different man. I can proudly say that I've changed into a better man since two years ago. Since that historical day, he turned my life to be happier, blissful, livelier and lovelier. He's the best thing that ever happens in my life beside his mother, Chu Ga Eul. So he has the rights to be celebrated and he has to be happy today like how he made me happy since his existence in this world.

"Be brave So Yi Jeong." I told myself while slapping at my cheeks with both of my hands. I can't be coward like this if I didn't want to lose them. I got up slowly and opened the door. Usually I will welcome by the bubbly Yul Jin but today the house seems quieter than usual. It was breakfast time so they must be at the dining room so I walked through the corridor and spotted Ga Eul arranging the foods on the table while Yul Jin already sat at his chair. All the foods were Yul Jin's favourite dishes.

I watched them for a while until Ga Eul turned her gazed at me. Her restless eyes were still swollen from the cried yesterday and there were also visible black circled around her eyes. Of course she can't sleep after what we had last night. Then I realised that Yul Jin also stared at me but immediately averted his eyes when I looked back at him.

I saw a bowl of miyeok guk (seaweed soup) was served in front of Yul Jin but he just stared at the soup and didn't even drink it. He also didn't touch his favourite foods at all. I took a long deep breath to gain my courage and fabricated a fake smile on my face and then I walked to him and caressed his head gently.

"Good morning Yul Jin-ah and happy birthday to you." I crouched to his level to kiss his cheek but he turned his face away from me. That simple gestured almost stop my heart from beating and I done everything that I could to prevent my tears from flowing down again. Damn, I've already cried so much last night but why my tears still didn't drain out completely? I had to be strong so I shield my sorrow and pretended not to be affected by his action and kissed his head instead.

"Wow look at these dishes, it's all your favourite foods. Come on, drink your birthday soup and then we can devour all the foods together." I chuckled a little but I stop it immediately when I realised there was no response from him. "So guess what sweetheart, appa won't go to work today so we can prepare for your birthday party together. It would be fun, you and me, we can decorate the house, make some balloons, help omma to bake your favourite cake and we can even make a big birthday posters to welcome our guests."

I waited for a while for him to react at my words but he remained silent and emotionless in front of his miyeok guk. I looked at Ga Eul, I knew she was observing me since the second I step into the dining room. My eyes begging for her help to make Yul Jin talk and eat. She understood my pleading and took a sit beside Yul Jin on the other side. I also settled myself on the chair while still caressing his hair.

"Come on baby, take a sip. I specially cook this for you." Ga Eul tried to feed him with the spoon but he didn't want to open his mouth. The spoon hanging in front of his mouth for a while but he showed no sign to eat it. Then without looking at us, he got up and ran to his room.

We both sighed at his behaviour and that leave only me and Ga Eul with an awkward silence.

"So, I've already invited all our friends and families to come to the party tonight." I broke the long silence first.

"Okay." Was her short reply. She took a few bite of her food before suddenly stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"To Yul Jin's room. He needs to take his breakfast. I'll try to persuade him to eat."

I looked at her retreating figure as I also lost my appetite. I sighed again and chuckled at my cruel fate. I lost everything in one night, how cruel is that? No more bubbly greeting from Yul Jin, he no longer wanted to cling on me and he even didn't want to look at me. And Ga Eul, she no longer gave her lovely smile to me, no more goodnight and morning kiss and no more warmth from her embrace. It pained me to the core of my heart and it was just happen in a day, how can I survived if this continued tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and the day after that?

Silence surrounding the once cheerful house and I just wanted to run away from it but I've already promised myself to make Yul Jin happy today. So both Ga Eul and I prepared for his birthday party in silence, nobody dared to talk about last night fight. I did ask Yul Jin to help us but he ignored all my words and chose to lie on his bed with his teddy bear covering his face.

"Sunbae, I'm worry. Since this morning Yul Jin doesn't want to eat and drink at all. And now he doesn't want to take his lunch too."

"What?" I stopped blowing the balloons.

"I've brought the foods to his room but he doesn't want to touch it at all."

"Let me try okay." I assured Ga Eul.

"Hey sweetheart, aren't you hungry?" I took a sit on his bed beside his body. "Your omma has cooked your favourite foods. Come on talk to me please, Yul Jin-ah." I tried to pull away his teddy bear but he tugged it back to hide his face. "Yul Jin-ah, don't be like this, don't do this to me. Please eat, please talk to me. I know I'm wrong, I'm so sorry for you to see appa and omma arguing, you can scold me or hit me but please don't ignore appa like this."

"Appa and omma were yelling with each other! Appa and omma will not stay together!" I heard he murmured under his teddy bear.

"Baby, what you saw last night is not like what you think. It was like Tom and Jerry, they always arguing but they always stay together. Omma and appa, we never leave you alone."

"Lie! I saw your eyes. It was different, like now."

"Omma and appa just talked in a high voice." Ga Eul tried to soothe him again.

"Appa and omma never talk like that and I saw omma crying."

"Just eat okay, you need to eat if you want to grow like me." I pleaded him.

"No!"

"I said you must eat."

"No!"

"Ga Eul-yang, make him some milk. It easier to force him to drink the milk than the solid food."

Ga Eul made the milk and handed me the bottle.

"Open your mouth Yul Jin."

"No!"

"Don't make appa force you, so drink your milk!"

"No! No! No!"

I didn't have a choice than to force the milk into his mouth. So I grabbed his small body and trapped him with my arms and legs. He tried to free himself with all his might but his resistance was nothing compared to a muscular adult like me. I shoved the bottle milk into his mouth but he clamped his lips as tight as possible but it didn't stop me. With one hand I grabbed his cheeks and squeezed it to open his mouth. As soon as it opened, I immediately shoved the bottle into his mouth.

"Sunbae, you don't have to do that."

"I have no choice; he'll get sick if he doesn't want to eat at all."

He was crying and pleading for his mother to help him but I never stop forcing him to drink the milk. It also pained me to force him like this but I knew him very well, he got his mother stubbornness.

"Omma! Omma!" He kept calling Ga Eul while wailing uncontrollably.

"Sunbae please stop it. You're hurting him."

I ignored the pleading from Ga Eul and Yul Jin but Yul Jin also didn't want to lose and screaming his lungs out while I'm forcing him to drink. He tried to wiggle his body and tried to escape from my grasp. He shook his head and tried to spit his milk out. His resistance make him choked on his milk so I immediately released him and patted his back that caused him to vomit all the milk. He was now coughing uncontrollably and had difficulty to breathe. I saw some of the milk came out from his nose.

"I told you to stop! Look what have you done!" Ga Eul harshly took him from me and patted his back. Yul Jin kept crying on her shoulder and she shot me a deadly glare.

"He needs to eat something." I slowly whispered.

"He's just a kid, we should be more patient on his tantrum. You should know why he behaves like this."

"Are you blaming this on me?" I stood up from Yul Jin's bed and glared back at her.

"Do you see anyone else huh? I told you before, I can stand it if I'm the one who got hurt but I can't stand it if you hurt MY son!" She started to yell at me, maybe still affected by yesterday fight. I didn't like her accusation and I hate it when she claimed Yul Jin to be hers only. It made me angry and I started yelling too.

"I'm not hurting him and he is OUR son! OUR son!"

"And I regret that he is YOUR son!"

BOOM! Just like that my heart exploded at her last words, my chest felt so hurt. So much hurt that my brain reacted at the stimulation and secreted few drops of tear that welling in my eyes. I struggled to breathe because I felt like I'm drowning in the presence of more than enough air in the room. I felt like my whole world came crushing down to my feet. Did she really mean it? Did she really hate me? Did she really regret that I'm the father of her child?

My legs lost it strength to support me and I fell on Yul Jin's bed. I sat there while clutching my collar shirt to ease the pain on my chest. I can still hear a loud wailing from Yul Jin. He must be scared, we were fighting again in front of him.

"Sun…sunbae.." Ga Eul softly called me with a stuttered voice.

Suddenly I heard the doorbell ringing, signalling that our guest already came for the party but it was still too early. I immediately got up and walked passed Ga Eul to open the door. At least I have a reason to run from her. I can't see her face right now, not after she slaughtered me with her words.

"Aboeji, you're early." I greeted the person at my door step. My father took some time to scrutinise my gloomy face.

"Are you okay son. You look not so good." He looks so worried at me and it touched my heart every time I felt his love for me. I wanted so badly to cry on his shoulder and told him everything that made me sad. To feels his hand caressed my hair while told me that 'everything is going to be alright'.

"I'm okay. Just tired. Come in aboeji, I'm sure you want to see Yul Jin." I faked a smile at him and I knew he was not satisfied with my answer but he chose not to press me further.

"Yes, I can't make it for his party tonight because I have to go to China for an important auction. I've been eyeing for a certain historical masterpiece and I want to have it no matter what because it will be one of the best attractions for our museum."

"Oh, it's okay. Ga Eul's parent also can't make it because they want to attend a funeral of their close relative."

"Speaking of which, where is my favourite grandson? I can't wait to give him his present." My father lifted a clear plastic bag with water that contained three koi fish. He was smiling brightly while showing me the bag.

"Yul Jin is not feeling well and Ga Eul with him in his room." My father sprinted to his room as soon as he heard my words.

Yul Jin was still crying in Ga Eul's arms but not as loud as before. Ga Eul already changed his dirty cloths and cleaned his room. Ga Eul looks shock when she saw my father entering the room but immediately got up and slightly bowed to him.

"Hey baby, look whose coming?" Ga Eul gently whispered at his ear while caressing his back. He lifted his head from Ga Eul's shoulder and turned his head to my father. Suddenly his cried became loud again as soon as he saw his grandfather.

"HARABOEJI!" He cried out loud while spreading his arms to my father. My father immediately carried him in his arm and tried to soothe him.

"What happen sweetheart? Who makes you cry?"

"APPA!"

"Appa?" My father glared at me for an explanation.

"He didn't want to eat at all so I forced him to drink his milk."

"And why he didn't want to eat at all?" My father press further.

I looked at Ga Eul and she looked back at me. We were contemplating whether to tell him the truth about the real reason. He sensing our awkwardness and I think he can guess that the problem was coming from us. But I knew him too well, he won't interfere in my private life.

"Yul Jin-ah, look at what haraboeji got for you." He lifted the plastic bag at his left hand to be at the same level of Yul Jin's eyes. That boy instantly stopped to cry when he saw the fish swimming inside the bag. A long lost smile appeared at his face when he tried to touch the fish.

"You like it?"

"Uhm!" He nodded slowly while his eyes never leave his fish.

"Let's go release these fish in your pond okay." My father carried him to our pond at the garden outside our house.

My father managed to calm him down but he had to leave to catch his plane. I still didn't want to talk to Ga Eul and she also seems to like the idea of not speaking because every time we talk we will end up with a fight.

Our guests finally arrived one by one. No one new, just Woo Bin, Ji Hoo, Jun Pyo, Jan Di and my mother. Now I realised, Yul Jin's life was only surrounded by those people. Thanks to me he didn't has a friend at all. I shut him off from the world in intention to protect him. But it turned out that my good intention created a small niche for him. Unintentionally I caged him in his own house.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to So Yul Jin, Happy birthday to you." We all were singing the song for Yul Jin in a happy tone but he looks weak and pale in front of his birthday cake.

"Come on sweetheart, make a wish and blow your candles."

"Will my wish come true halmoni?"

"Of course sweetheart."

He then closed his eyes and said out loud; "I wish appa and omma will stop yelling at each other." He then opened his teary eyes and blows the two candles. I can see that everyone in the room were shocked at his wish and shot me a questioning glare.

"Come here sweetheart, come to halmoni." My mother called him and he walked slowly to his grandmother but before he reached her, he collapsed on the floor.

"YUL JIN!" My mother screamed his name and we all rushed to him

He was unconscious and looks paler than before. Ji Hoo and Jan Di immediately checked his body. Then Ji Hoo lifted his body and said;

"We have to take him to the hospital now!" He rushed outside and everyone followed him except me. I just stood there and still looking at the floor where he collapsed.

"Jeong-ah." Jun Pyo called my name and tugged me to go with him. "Let's go."

"Wait." I rooted myself there and slowly looked at Jun Pyo. "I haven't buy him a present yet…"