Author's Note: Hi, I'm back! I actually wanted to list down around 18 reasons why I'm on hiatus for so long but then I thought; what's the point? I think nobody wants to hear my personal problem hahaha. So the most important thing to do is to apologise to my reader for the lack of updating my story. I'm really really sorry and you can throw anything at me; rocks, slippers, tumbler, chair etc. :)

Chapter 14; Her Biggest Secret

Today Yi Jeong-sunbae and I braved ourselves to break the news to our friends. I'm more worried for him because logically they will put all the blames on Yi Jeong-sunbae's shoulders. And my worried came true because he was not only being kicked twice by Jan Di, but he also got beaten by Woo Bin-sunbae. Luckily Ji Hoo-sunbae was fast in grabbing the furious mafia prince because I swear I could see the murderous look in Woo Bin-sunbae's face.

I understand why he reacted like that, he willing to kill anybody that hurt me. It made me feel guiltier towards Yi Jeong-sunbae. He was injured because of me. I wiped away the blood from his lips and he just smiling at me to assure me that he's okay.

"It's alright Jan Di-ah, Woo Bin-sunbae, Jun Pyo-sunbae, Ji Hoo-sunbae. It was a mistake from the beginning. We were both drunk and …. and it happen. Please don't blame Yi Jeong-sunbae alone because it was my fault too." I tried to explain to them and begging them to understand us.

"Ga Eul-ah, what about you? How can you raise your child alone?" I knew Jan Di was worried about me. Yi Jeong-sunbae didn't want to marry me and of course she would be furious at him. I wanted to explain further but Yi Jeong-sunbae beat me to speak.

"Who said I would leave Ga Eul alone. I will take full responsible of my action. I still can take care of them without married to Ga Eul."

"Is that mean you will only be responsible financially?"

"No, I will stay by her side and take care of her during her pregnancy period."

"I thought only Jun Pyo got this disease, I never notice that you are more stupid than him." I quietly agreed with Jan Di's statement.

"Hey." Jun Pyo-sunbae tried to argued

"Shut up Jun Pyo, or I'll give you the same kick I gave to your friend just now. So Yi Jeong-sunbae, from what you told us, don't you think that it's sound like a married couple already. A husband who want to take care of his pregnant wife?" That's correct Jan Di, I also thought like that. I think it's true that Yi Jeong-sunbae becoming as stupid as Jun Pyo-sunbae.

"Er sort of but in my case I don't want to be attached officially to anyone. It's better this way than be marry without love." Ouch, Yi Jeong-sunbae's words hurt me. It was like he exclaimed to the world that he has no feelings at me.

"And you agreed to this scheme Ga Eul?" Jan Di shot me the question with a high voice.

I faked a smile on my face and said; "Yes. Please Jan Di, this is my decision, I hope you can understand." I looked straight into her eyes. My eyes begging for her approval and her glare started to soften down. Then I looked at Woo Bin-sunbae and signalling him to stay calm. He averted his gaze from me and I saw him balled his fists tightly and gritted his teeth to suppress his anger.

Ji Hoo-sunbae and Jun Pyo-sunbae have no problems to accept our decision and the quietness in that lounge we assumed as a silent agreement from the other two.

Yi Jeong-sunbae offered to drive me home and while in his car I received a short message on my hand phone;

-Meet me-

-Okay-

I immediately reply his message secretly from Yi Jeong-sunbae. I bid him goodbye and waited for about five minutes until a metallic carbon black supercar stop in front of me. He immediately revved up the engine as soon as I closed the door and the inertia from the sudden momentum forced my body to move backward. He was mad and he released his anger by stepping at the accelerator pedal until the pedal almost touched the car floor. The supercar diligently picked up the speed to fly on the road while the driver expertly over took all the vehicles that block his way.

"Please sunbae, I'm scared." I'm pleading softly while clutching his forearm. He looked at me and his furious face turn softer when he saw my pale face. He slowed down the car and began to calm a little. Nobody dared to talk and he drove the car in silent until he stopped at the river bank of Han River. Almost half an hour we stayed in dead silent and just absorbing the beauty of the colourful lights from the city of Seoul.

"Marry me." He suddenly spoke which almost stop my heart beat.

"Eh?" I turned my head to face him and he looks dead serious.

"Marry me and I promise to be a good husband to you and a good father to your child."

"Sunbae! Until now.."

"Yes!" He immediately cut my words. "I still love you and I will always love you."

"But I thought.."

"It's really hard not to love you." He cut my words again. "Please, please just for once. Please look at me."

"This child is not yours!"

"It is mine, if you said so. I'm willing to take the responsibility. You and me, we're always together and people already thought that we are a couple. They won't suspect anything."

"Woo Bin-sunbae! Are you crazy?"

"Yes I am. I'm crazy in love with you. You don't know how hurt my heart right now watching you being treated like a trash. You gave everything to him but he never appreciates it. I will never treat you the way he treated you. I love you and its hurt so much when you chose that jerk over me!"

His words left me speechless. He was looking directly into my eyes with a loving gaze and I can't stand it. So I immediately looked at my hands on my lap. I knew his feelings for me. At first, we started merely as a friend. He felt responsible to 'watch' me for his best friend. He's always by my side. He became my chauffer to drive me in and out from my college and he even chased away any possible suitor by 'acting' as my boyfriend which of course scared all the men that intent to get neared me. He helped me every time I'm in trouble and he always gave his shoulder for me to cry on. When Jan Di became busy with her study, I got more attached with Woo Bin-sunbae. We became closer; we shared our problems and settled it together. Never crossed my mind that our close relationship would lead him for hoping to get something more from me; my heart.

.

It happens during my graduation day last year. I was so happy to finally receive my degree after three years of study and he told me that he has special celebration for me. He booked the entire rotating restaurant on the top of N Seoul Tower and we have a romantic dinner just the two of us. The panoramic view outside was so breath-taking and I could see the whole Seoul below me when the restaurant completed it rotation.

"So beautiful!" I squealed in delight while looking at the view.

"You are more beautiful." He spoke up so I looked at his face and saw him staring affectionately at me. I smiled at him because it was not the first time he complimented me with his sweet words.

"Please sunbae, I had enough of your sugar. I'm still young to have diabetes." He chuckled softly at my words.

"Why can't you believe on your own amazing assets? You are the most beautiful woman I ever see, inside out. You are kind to everyone and you never judge someone by their superficial facts. You never scared at me although you knew about my family background and you knew that I'm capable to become like them."

I immediately reach out for his hand across the table and squeezed it lightly because I knew he was down whenever he was talking about his family. "I know that you have a kind heart too sunbae, that's all matters." I loosen my hold and retreated my hand but he immediately grabbed it back.

He looked at our intertwine hand for a while and then he stared at me. "I ….I have a problem Ga Eul-yang. I'm in deep trouble."

"What's wrong?" I squeezed back his hand as I can sense the coldness from it.

He had a hard time to tell me his problem and just stared straight into my eyes but then he said; "I love you." I was taken aback by his sudden confession and it left me speechless. Then he continued; "I know it's wrong to want my best friend's girl and I already tried very hard not to fall for you but you're just too strong to resist. I don't know when it started but your existent become my essential nutrient to freshen up my day. Every time when I tried to stay away from you, I will only end up living like a zombie who better been dead. I'll miss your face especially your lively smile, I'll miss your soothing voice, I'll miss your floral scent, I'll miss watching your soft and silky hair dancing gracefully as the wind played it tuned and I'll miss everything about you."

"I never feel like this to any woman and it scared me, especially the woman is you. For three years I've been living with you by my side and slowly you invading my heart too. I …realise that the time for me to let you go is getting nearer and nearer but I don't think I can do it anymore. I can't and don't want to let you go. Please accept me."

I forcefully pulled my hand out from his grasp because he didn't want to let go. I don't know how to answer him but judging from his gloomy face I think he already knew my answer. "I only have one heart sunbae and I lost that heart long time ago when somebody stole it from me and took it with him. I'm so sorry."

"You know what, I actually expected you to reject me but I just want to try my luck. I hate to live with uncertainty feelings, wondering whether you love me back or whether you'll give me a chance to woo you." He then exhaled a long sigh. "Now I know and it hurt."

"Sunbae…"

"Don't say sorry again. At least I know the taste of 'heart breaking'."

"Sunbae, are you going to tell Yi Jeong-sunbae about this."

"Are you crazy? Of course not. It will be a huge humiliation to the Don Juan image if anybody knows that I'm being rejected by a commoner. No way, nobody can know about it and you must swear in Yi Jeong's name that you won't tell anyone even to Jan Di."

"I promise." I chuckled lightly because he looks so funny with his flustered face.

"Hey Ga Eul-yang, be happy okay. If you want me to forget my love to you, you must promise me that you will live happily ever after with him."

After that night we continued to be just best friend. Nothing changed in him and he didn't seem to be 'affected' by my rejection. So I thought maybe his love was not strong enough and maybe he just got accustomed by my presence beside him so he was afraid to lose something that he got used to.

Sighed. Now I knew what I thought all these years was wrong and he masked his feelings so well that I couldn't detect that he actually was hurt inside.

.

"For all these years, I actually prayed for Yi Jeong to screw up. I followed every moved he take while he studied in Sweden, hoping to have some 'evidence' to show you that he could never heal his philandering sickness. But I was wrong and I hate myself because I'm his best friend and I'm supposed to be happy that he changed but I'm not and it made me felt guiltier to him. He maybe not a player anymore so I let you go but I guess one thing that he could never change, he doesn't have hopes in love and that's why he keeps hurting you. I warned you earlier, the only way to make me forget my love to you is by showing me that you are happy always. Now you broke your promise already."

"I'm happy now sunbae. I can finally be with him and I'm carrying half of him inside me."

"Bull shit! Are you stupid? You won't be happy. This is so not you! I know you very well Ga Eul. You will suffer and you know why? Because you are the country bumpkin who believed in sacred relationship of marriage. You only surrender yourself to your husband and carrying his seed. You are a good girl who always keep a good image. You are a good daughter who won't tainted your parent's face. You are.."

"Stop it! Please don't say it anymore." I closed my ears with both of my palms while started to cry uncontrollably. I cannot hold my tears anymore because what he said was true. I'm not that stupid to not think about all the possible heartbreak that I will get in the future. I did and I already calculated my 'tolerance' for the heartbreak and I came to a conclusion that I'm strong and patient enough to accept my dark future life that full with uncertainty. But hearing somebody saying those factual words made me sick to my stomach."

He gently pulled me into a tight hug and I automatically snaked my arms around his neck and buried my face on his shoulder. "Shush." He gently rubbed my back. "Please don't cry. I hate to see you crying like this. I'm sorry okay."

"I know I'm stupid but I believe in Yi Jeong-sunbae. I believe that he has feelings for me, I believe that he changed because of me, I believe that he will take a good care of me and our child and I believe that I can be happy with him by my side."

I felt him tighten his embraced around body and bringing me closer to him. "I guess nothing I can do to change your mind right?" I nodded at his question. "I love you so much you must remember that." I nodded again. "Promise me that you won't shed anymore tears after this."

I nodded slowly and said; "I'll try but I can't promise you."

He gently pushed my shoulders to see my face. He wiped away my tears using his thumbs and he brought my face closer to him and he kissed my forehead. "I hope you won't regret later and I will pray for your happiness."

"Thank you Woo Bin-sunbae. You are really like a brother to me."

"Ouch!" He put his hand on his chest and feigning to be hurt. "That is the cruellest words to say to a man who just proposed to you. You know a brother cannot 'love' his sister so in other words, you want me to totally lose my hope on you. And guess what, I'm a Song and you are a Chu so there's no way that I will be your brother because I won't accept you as my sister. Full stop!"

Author's Note: If any LU followers can remember, my last story that I wrote on LU was 'The Stranger'. You know the story of Ga Eul had a one night stand with a stranger and got pregnant and then she met Yi Jeong and Yi Jeong fall in love with her and her son. I actually continued to write the story during my hiatus. I manage to write 3 new chapters before I got stuck again hahaha (sigh, I lost my muse again). So should I wait until Ms Muse come to me again and completed the story before I post it here, or should I just post it here although the story is still unfinished?