Viking Subtlety

"Mornin', Son!"

"Hey Dad." Hiccup mumbled groggily as he limped towards his seat. Vaguely, he couldn't help but wonder why Stoick seemed like he was in such a good mood this morning. A healthy intolerance for any time earlier then noon was one of the few traits that Stoick and Hiccup actually shared, though Hiccup tended to be a little worse with mornings then his father since he spent most of his nights flying around with Toothless. Still, most mornings in the Haddock household were relatively silent, save for the occasional grunt of acknowledgement.

Had Hiccup been fully awake, this cheery greeting probably would've been his first warning of what was coming and he would've run when he still had the chance. Woefully, though, his brain was still in a low-power state and thus he sat down at the table, blissfully unaware of the torment that awaited him. Across the table, Stoick watched his son carefully over the rim of his mug as Hiccup began digging into his food.

"So, did you hear that Alrik and Ottilia got themselves hitched just yesterday?" Stoick asked mildly. Hiccup grunted in confirmation as he shoveled more food into his mouth. Berk was a pretty small island and virtually everyone knew each other, so Hiccup would've had to have been living under a rock not to know that the two pair had just married. "They've only been courting for about a year now, but they definitely seem happy together. How long have you and Astrid been together again, son?" Alarm bells blared to life in the back of Hiccup's skull, waking the boy up and putting him on high alert.

This had taken a dangerous drift out of small talk territory…

"Dunno." Hiccup answer warily. "About three or four years, I think. Officially."

"I see…" Stoick replied meaningfully, taking another swig of his drink. "And when exactly are you planning on taking the next step in your relationship?" Feeling as though he was about to walk into some sort of trap, Hiccup's flight of fight instincts sprang to life and, not surprisingly, the brunet teen chose flight.

Literally.

"You know, I don't think I'm that hungry this morning. I'm gonna do an early sweep of the island with Toothless. See you later, Dad." And, before Stoick could stop him, Hiccup bolted out the door to find his dragon.

The next day found Hiccup working in the smithy. He'd managed to avoid his father at home after the botched talk at breakfast, but didn't want to take the chances of any more awkward conversations springing up. The one he'd had when he started puberty was bad enough for ten lifetimes, as far as he was concerned. And thus, since staying at home had become something of a bad idea, Hiccup decided to try and work on some new designs he'd crafted for flying.

Unfortunately, Stoick knew his son better then Hiccup thought.

"Ah, Hiccup! There you are!" Icy dread filled Hiccup's blood at the cheerful sound of his father's voice. Reluctantly, the teen turned around to find Stoick grinning happily at him. Crap. "I was hoping you might be able to help me with something. See, my old bones just aren't feeling good today. Any chance you could help oversee the construction of the new fishing boat?"

"Old bones? Dad, just a few days ago you were wrestling with Thornado. And winning." Hiccup reminded Stoick, not buying his father's excuse for a second. Stoick's grin fell into a scowl at his son's observation.

"Oh come on now!" Stoick huffed, sounding injured. "There's no reason you can't go ahead and get a taste of what being chief is gonna be like now, is there?" Hiccup opened his mouth to remind Stoick that being chief was still his job, and kindly inform his father that he was in no rush to change that, when Stoick gave his son a pointed look. "I mean, you are gonna be leader of the tribe soon, son, and it's not like you're doing anything more important. Unless, that is, you DO have something better to do? With Astrid, perhaps?"

Hiccup was pretty sure that one legged men weren't supposed to move as fast as he just did.

"The new boat's being built by the harbor, right?" Hiccup asked quickly as he gathered his supplies. "Come on, Toothless, let's see what we can do to help. I'll see you later, Dad." Stoick scowled a bit as he watched the pair flee, before sighing begrudgingly and deciding to take his victories with Hiccup where he could.

At least he got him to start doing some chiefing, at the very least.

It wasn't going away.

"Hiccup! Don't you think that Ollitia looks lovely with her hustrulinet? Couldn't ya just imagine Astrid like that? All happy with that just married woman glow?"

It didn't matter where he hid.

"There you are, son! Is there any chance you could help me with a few duties that need to get done today? I could use a few extra hands and, well, mine are getting pretty old now."

It didn't matter where he ran.

"Really Hiccup, what on earth are ya doin' all the way out here? As future chief, Berk ought to be your main priority, don't you think? You've got better things to do then fly around with your head in the clouds all day!"

He.

"Hiccup! Did you hear? Hallmar just got engaged to that Malva girl? At sixteen! Awful big of him to be startin' a family now, don't ya think?"

Just.

"Well wouldja look at that son! Kristjana is expecting her firstborn! Isn't that nice? All this peace with the dragons, and everyone getting married and having children…"

Couldn't.

"Say Hiccup, don't you think that that spot there would make a lovely place for a new house? Just imagine; a stable for some dragons, a yard, a lovely little wife…"

Get.

"Oh no, Hiccup! Not today! Sorry, but Toothless is just gonna have to wait to go flying! Today, you're going hunting with me and the rest of the village men! It'll be good for you to learn a little more about the food we need to survive, and how we get it. That kind of information is important to the chief, you know."

Away.

"Been flyin' quite a bit lately, haven't ya Hiccup? Why don't you spend some time with Astrid? It's not good for you to be neglectin' the girl you love because of some silly dragon, you know!"

Glancing up from the book she'd been pressured into reading by Fishlegs, Astrid smiled as her boyfriend slumped onto the bench next to her with a tired groan.

"Hey there." Astrid said, closing the book and setting it next to her on the bench. "I haven't seen much of you all week. You haven't been seeing another girl behind my back, have you?" Hiccup groaned at the blonde's teasing. Astrid knew that Hiccup was as loyal as Berk's winters were long, so she wasn't actually concerned about the way Hiccup had been absent more often than not lately, though she was a little curious as to what had caused his most recent disappearing act.

"If I say yes, will you kill me and put me out of my misery?" Hiccup moaned, surprising Astrid a bit. Though she would joke about him possibly straying every now and again, he never joked back. Puzzled, Astrid shot Hiccup a curious look, which he ignored in favor of swiping her tankard and holding it up for inspection. "Is this strong?"

"Yes?" Astrid answered, a little confused. To her surprise, Hiccup immediately downed the entire mug at her confirmation, despite usually being careful when it came to alcohol. Astrid's eyes went wide as Hiccup slammed the empty mug on the table, then immediately flagged down the barmaid for another.

Well. THAT wasn't a good sign.

"Uh-oh. What happened now?" Astrid asked, turning her full attention to Hiccup and frowning in concern.

"Dad." Hiccup sighed, making Astrid's frown deepen.

"That doesn't really narrow it down, you know." Astrid reminded Hiccup gently. Though Hiccup's relationship with his father had improved vastly post-Red Death, there was still a lot of things the two didn't see eye to eye on. So far, though, none of that had ever drove Hiccup to drinking himself silly.

"He's been driving me crazy all week." Hiccup groaned as the barmaid snagged the mug he'd emptied and replaced it with a full one, which he proceeded to inhale the second he could.

"About what?" Astrid asked, growing more concerned by the minute. Before Hiccup could answer, the Great Hall doors swung open again and Stoick entered, Gobber at his side. Hiccup stiffened at the sight of his father, but Stoick looked unordinarily pleased, which only confused Astrid more. Stoick started to make his way over to their table, but Gobber, seeing the dark look on his apprentice's face, had the good sense to intervene and stop the chief before he could finish the trek.

"Now now, Stoick. Let the children be. We're supposed ta be drinkin tonight, remember?"

"They're not children anymore, Gobber." Stoick reminded his friend with a sour look, which only seemed to irritate Hiccup more. "And anyways, I just want to-!"

"Let it be, Stoick." Gobber sighed, shooting Hiccup and, oddly enough, Astrid herself a sympathetic look, which made the shieldmaiden wonder exactly what the heck she was missing.

"Well talking to Hiccup isn't getting me anywhere! I'm sure Astrid will be more reasonable."

"Reasonable about what?" Astrid asked, frowning at her boyfriend as he groaned and buried his face into his arm in the table. She'd never been asked to weigh in on the Haddock clan arguments before, so why was her opinion needed now?

"Just let it happen when it happens, Stoick. No need to rush these things." Gobber insisted as Hiccups ears began to burn a terrible shade of red. Astrid was starting to get annoyed at the way the three seemed to be ignoring her and talking like she wasn't even there, and was about to demand to know what was going on. Unfortunately for her- and Hiccup as well, for that matter- a frustrated Stoick snapped crankily at Gobber before she could say a word, his voice booming loudly around the Great Hall for all to hear.

"Of course there's a need to rush!" Stoick huffed, drawing the attention of every Viking present who wasn't already watching the exchange curiously. "I'm not gonna be around forever you know! I want grandbabies!"

And suddenly, Astrid really, really wished she could've been left in the dark as to the reason Hiccup was so frustrated with his father.

Shock was instantly replaced with horror when Astrid heard Ruffnut begin to cackle loudly at the table she was sharing with her brother and Fishlegs, the latter of the trio being the only one with the decency to shoot Hiccup and Astrid a sympathetic look. Unfortunately, this only served to make Astrid aware of all the other looks she- the girlfriend of the chief's son and the most likely candidate for who would be providing Stoick the grandbabies he had just admitted he wanted- was getting in the crowded Great Hall as Hiccup groaned in dismay as dropped his head into his arm. Scattered whispers began breaking out everywhere all at once, and Astrid suddenly found herself hoping that a Whispering Death would break through the floor and swallow her whole right that very second.

"Hey Hiccup?" Astrid said faintly as Gobber finally managed to drag Stoick away, albeit far too late.

"Yeah?" Hiccup asked, his voice muffled by the leather of his gauntlet.

"Would you be offended if I ran out screaming right now?" She planned on doing it either way, but it'd be nice to know if she'd have to apologize for it later or not. That would probably involve putting herself in the vicinity of the chief, and Astrid kinda wanted to avoid being around Stoick until forever now, if she could help it.

"Not if I'm allowed to do the same." Hiccup replied with a scoff, reminding Astrid why she loved him so much and put up with all the insanity that came along with being involved with him.

She was still gonna kill him for this later, though.