Kankri swallowed back his tears as he made his way back to his hive. He hoped to see Porrim along the way so he could talk to her but he hadn't. He'd seen Latula and Mituna but had avoided them, he didn't want them to see him right now. His obvious melancholy demeanor might trigger them. He unlocked his hive door and stepped in, not bothering to lock it after himself. Shoulders slumped and head bowed he made his way to his respiteblock to contact Porrim. He signed onto Trollian and luckily his jade blooded friend was on. He dearly hoped she could help him work through all of this. Usually he'd just do it himself but he didn't think he could manage it this time. He waited for her to respond and sat up straighter in his desk chair when she answered.
kankriVantas [KV] started pestering po+rrimMaryam [PM] at XX:XX
KV: P9rrim, may I speak with y9u please?
... ... ... ...
PM: Go+o+d evening Kankri. To+ what do+ I o+we the pleasure?
KV: Greetings P9rrim. ...I am not entirely sure how to ask my next question.
KV: Trigger warnings may include #negative emotions #hurt feelings #regret #shame #emotional outbursts
PM: O+h dear, this do+es so+und serio+us. Maybe I sho+uld co+me o+ver.
KV: Yes I think that w9uld 6e 6est.
PM: I'll be there so+o+n Kankri.
po+rrimMaryam [PM] ceased peastering kankriVantas [KV] at XX:XX
Kankri went and sat in his living room to wait for Porrim. He didn't sit there waiting for long before there was knocking at his hive door. He got up and opened the door, Porrim's softly smiling face on the other side. He moved aside to let her in and they both went and sat on the couch. The jade blood turned to face him and asked, "O+kay Kankri, what's tro+ubling yo+u? Yo+u mentio+ned hurt feelings and regret in yo+ur message." Kankri sighed and nodded. He didn't even know where to begin. He supposed if he wanted Porrim to fully understand then he'd have to start from the beginning of what actually happened. "9kay P9rrim. T9 understand I'll have t9 tell y9u my day. It all started when I n9ticed Cr9nus had yet to make his usual appearance..." But before he could go on Porrim cut him off and said with annoyance, "Cro+nus? Is he the reaso+n yo+u're upset? I swear if I see his fishy face I'll-"
Kankri sighed and cut back in, "N9 P9rrim! Please let me finish. Y9u kn9w h9w triggering it is t9 interrupt s9me9ne. N9w where was I? Ah yes, Cr9nus..." The candy red troll went on to tell Porrim about how he'd noticed that the sea dweller hadn't bothered to show his face for some time. And Kankri admitted he'd become a tad worried, so he'd endeavored to search him out to make sure all was well. "But it wasn't P9rrim. Everything was far fr9m well." He explained how he managed to find Cronus's hive, but only after he searched through three different dream bubbles. And that when he knocked and Cronus answered he expected Cronus to be somewhat happy to see him. "6ut he wasn't at all. If anything he seemed sh9cked, but then he l99ked b9thered with my very presence." Then Kankri shamefully said Cronus gave him the same look he'd noticed the others shoot Cronus's way. A look of annoyance. Then he told her how Cronus said that none of them would care if he double died right then and there.
Porrim rolled her eyes at hearing that. To her it sounded like Cronus was just being as melodramatic as always. But what Kankri said next made her pause. "P9rrim, I think he's right. 6esides me, d9 y9u think any9ne w9uld n9tice if Cr9nus just...ceased t9 exist?" The jade blood gulped slightly but shrugged the queasy feeling Kankri's words gave her off and said in her usual dulcet tones, "O+h I'm sure there wo+uld be plenty o+f tro+lls who+ wo+uld miss him. Like...um...well yo+u wo+uld and..." Porrim looked away from Kankri's accusatory stare as she floundered for words. Porrim guiltily sighed and admitted she couldn't think of anyone else, which only made her guilt grow. Kankri groaned and held his head in his hand as he told Porrim the rest of the story. About how Cronus said they hadn't been friends for a very long time. "He's right P9rrim. I've 6een an awful friend t9 him. I'm s9 ashamed 9f myself! Y9u may n9t 6elieve it 6ut Cr9nus was a very g99d friend t9 me P9rrim. He was always there t9 listen t9 me when everyone else made fun 9f me 9r called me The Insufferable. And I c9uldn't even return the fav9r."
The male was in tears by the end of his sentence. Everything he'd bottled up during and after his confrontation with Cronus was coming out now. Porrim frowned and deep down she knew her guilt was warranted. She'd been just as cruel to Cronus as the others. Kankri's tears didn't slow, if anything they grew heavier. "And he said 6efore M-meenah killed us all that he was g9ing t9 c-c-c9mmit suic-cide! Said h-he was just going t-t-to s-slit his own th-throat! He even warned us that he was! 6ut we were all s-s9 jaded that we pushed him away P9rrim! We didn't care!" Porrim's milky eyes widened as she absorbed that bit of information. She couldn't believe it. Cronus just didn't seem like the kind of troll to commit suicide. To her he seemed far too full of himself to even think of it. But Porrim couldn't help but think that maybe she didn't know the sea dweller as well as she thought. If the bombs Kankri were dropping were true then...none of them knew Cronus beyond the surface. 'Probably because we never bothered to look any further.' she thought nervously to herself. Suddenly memories of her interacting with Cronus seemed to spring to the front of her mind.
Though it could hardly be called interacting seeing as Porrim more or less ignored the sea dweller every time he tried to start a conversation with her. It didn't even matter what he was talking about, Porrim just tuned him out or started walking away. To be fair a few of the instances had been Cronus flirting or hitting on her. But Porrim recalled with shame that the other times he'd just been starting up casual conversation. He'd tried asking her what music she liked, what her favorite movie was, if she just wanted to hang out. All perfectly normal things one person would say to another. Porrim almost couldn't understand why she'd acted so harshly towards him. If earlier today someone asked Porrim to describe Cronus in as few words as possible she'd have said things like, 'Lo+ser, needy, bo+therso+me, pathetic, ho+peless, jerk, awful, pervert, and creep.' Now Porrim cringed and begrudgingly admitted to herself that though Cronus wasn't perfect he didn't deserve such scorn from her. And now that she thought about it he couldn't really be classified as a loser or needy. 'Yo+u'd actually need to+ HAVE someo+ne in o+rder to+ be needy.' she thought sadly. And him wanting actual troll interaction was really just a basic need, not bothersome. And she admitted that he could be a jerk but so could a lot of other trolls.
And he was no more perverted than Mintuna now that she was being honest. Mituna may have been messed up in his accident but that did nothing to prevent him from being lewd or suggestive. And even sometimes outright perverted, he even once suggested a bubble wide strip search~ Now how was it fair to call Cronus a pervert or a creep when he'd never been as ballsy as the Gemini? 'Ho+w do+es a misunderstanding this huge even happen in real life?' the tattoo covered troll thought to herself worriedly. She even wondered where all this scorn had started. It wasn't normal for everyone in the bubbles to focus all their hate onto one person unprovoked. Porrim wracked her think pan to try and remember when it had all started but couldn't pinpoint a time. It was almost as if it had always been this way. Porrim wasn't sure if the others had acted this way towards Cronus before the game considering she'd had little interaction with him herself. They'd only really met officially after the game had been started. Thinking about all of this was giving the jade blood a headache. And she looked over and saw Kankri was still crying, she wanted to comfort him but knew with his hate of physical contact it wouldn't be appreciated. And Porrim felt at a loss, she didn't know how to proceed. Should they try to apologize to Cronus? Maybe start over? But Porrim wondered if perhaps...they were too late.