Chapter 17; The Father
"Arghh! I never know that working will be this tired!" Yi Jeong-sunbae stomped his foots as soon as he walked in the living room. He slumped his body to the couch and leaning his head against the headrest while closing his eyes.
I smiled at his childish behaviour and took a sit beside him.
"Welcome home sunbae. How's your first day at work?"
Without opening his eyes, he laid his body and accurately landing his head on my lap. He stretched his legs and filling all the empty space of the couch. He was lying sideway and I couldn't see his entire face. I'm surprise by his action but still my hand automatically moved to comb his silky hair.
"Bad! I feel like they were watching my every move just to witness me failing." He was whining.
"Think positive sunbae. Maybe they were just being there to help you."
He didn't answer me back but I saw him shrugged his shoulder. I kept combing his already well-kept hair and softly whispered the words;
"I'm sorry."
"For what?" He immediately turned his body to look straight at me with eyes full with confusion.
"For burdening you, while you have to carry your family's responsibilities. I'm just a heavy anchor that was tied on your foot and prevents you to move further." I averted my gazed to anything but him as I felt sorry that I also contributed to his heavy burden.
"Hey don't say that. Look at my tie. You give it to me this morning and you even tied it for me."
"After you whining at me and begging me to tie it for you." I interrupted his words.
"Yes but my point is, I never untie this tie although it was the cheapest tie in my closet because you gave it to me. You make me feel that I'm not alone. The whole time in that office, during the meeting and even during my daily rounds in the museum, I never feel afraid because of your tie."
"Tsk." I smirk at him.
"Hey, don't 'tsk' me. You have no idea how can I dealing with this heavy responsibilities if you're not by my side. I may sound a little bit cheesy but, you are my strength and you are my motivator Ga Eul-yang. You make me want to do something for somebody else. For the first time in my life, I feel needed. I feel that I have purposes for waking up early in the morning to go to work and receive my pay check. I work my fingers to the bone just for you. Because in the end of the day, I always knew that you will be here for me. I have you to listen to all my ranting, I have you to say comforting words to me and I'm glad that it is you."
Why sunbae? Why you were always knew the words to cheer me up. I looked down to his face and smiling warmly at him and he was smiling back at me.
"By the way I've got something for you." He put his hand inside his pocket and retrieved his wallet. He took out a black card from his wallet and gave it to me.
"What is this?"
"I made this credit card for you. You can use it for anything."
"But I have my own money!"
"I know, but in case if you cannot afford…."
I pushed his head out from my lap before he finished his words. He had to support his body with his arm to prevent him from falling from the couch. He immediately sat himself and glared at me.
"What is that for?" He rolled his eyes at me.
"I don't like to be disparaged by you."
"I am not! If you don't want to use it then it's up to you. Just take this card for emergency cases."
He shoved the card to my face and I sighed before taking it with much evidence dismay. He abruptly put his head back to my lap and he turned his face sideway and facing my tummy. I saw him staring at my tummy for a while and slowly his hand rose up to touch it but suddenly his hand stopped before it reach the destination. He balled his hand into a fist and rose up his whole body from the couch.
"I'll take a shower first."
I nodded at him and my gazed followed him until he disappeared in his room. He was still afraid of this small soul inside my womb. I can't blame him to be afraid, after all this little soul was his heaviest burden, his biggest responsibilities, his child!
As a mother, I can't help to feel hurt every time he walked away when I wanted him to touch my tummy. But I masked all my sadness and never give up to bring him closer to his unborn child. When he embraced me, I will always turn my body so that his hands will rest on my tummy and I will lock his hands with mine. I even threat him to put his ear on my tummy if he wanted to sleep with me.
It's already reach three month of my pregnancy and I can't control my morning sickness even during my teaching at school. I can feel curious eyes staring at me every time I sprinted to the toilet to empty my stomach. The first person that blurted her curiosity was my best friends Kim Yoo Ri. I'm close to her since the first day of my college because we took the same course and it happen that we got the same school to teach. I like her because she was a straight forward person and has a kind heart but sometime I wish that she was not that straight, like now.
"Are you pregnant?" She asked me directly, not even asking me 'are you okay?'
"Yoo Ri-ah, it's time to go home." I tried to change the subject as I knew that Yoo Ri was really punctually to go home when the last bell rang.
"I can wait today. Well, it's not always that I have overtime but I don't mind to be late for fifteen minutes. So, are you or you're not pregnant?"
I just kept quiet and stuffing all my things into my bag and ready to go home. She understands my silence and squealed in delight.
"OH MY GOD! Is it Song Woo Bin's?"
"What? No! What makes you think it was him?"
"Well the fact that he's the only man that I saw trailing by your side since college and the fact that he's one of the F4."
"It's not him."
"Yeah right, who can be better that him?"
Suddenly I heard a soft knock at the door and saw Yi Jeong-sunbae standing behind the glass door. He opened the door and let himself in without getting my permission. From the corner of my eyes I saw Yoo Ri's jaws hanging widely because of the shock.
"What are you doing here Yi Jeong-sunbae?"
"I realised that you're not feeling well this morning so I thought it's dangerous to let you drive the car alone. So I come here to fetch you home." He looked at Yoo Ri and greeted her. "Well hello there."
"Ah, this is my best friend and also my colleague, Kim Yoo Ri." I introduced her to him.
"Hello Yoo Ri-ssi. I'm So Yi Jeong." He flashed his oh so adorable smile at her and I had to nudging her side to wake her from her spellbinding condition.
"He… hello."
"Sunbae, can you wait at your car. I'll be there soon."
"Sure, let me carry your bag."
I passed him my bag and he walked out from my classroom.
"SO YI JEONG?" Yoo Ri pointed her finger at my tummy and I nodded softly. She slowly clapped her hands while looking at me in amusement. I shot her a confusing glared but she replied with a warming smile. She showed me a thumb up signal and said;
"I can accept you rejected Song Woo Bin because of So Yi Jeong. Now I knew why you were always denied the rumours that you have special relationship with that Don Juan."
"You're not mad at me?"
"For what? For not telling me your secret huh? Of course not, everyone has their own secret to keep and I understand why you are not sharing it with me. I just want you to be happy Ga Eul-ah."
"Thanks Yoo Ri-ya, you are the best!"
After that day, Yi Jeong-sunbae will send me to work and even fetch me from work every day. If he can't make it, he will ask his chauffer to do that work for him. But his good intentions only spark the rumours into a bigger flame. Everyone (including the janitor and the cleaners) was talking behind my back and even shot me a disgusting look. I still survived because Yoo Ri never leave my side and because of my passion to teach.
If you asked me, of course I wanted to continue teaching until my due but the rumours had reach to the headmistress's ears and she politely asked me to rethink about my decision to teach. She received many protest from the parents because they afraid that I would be a bad influence to their children. Yoo Ri asked me not to listen to the headmistress suggestion but when I think again, what she said was true. If I'm the parent, of course I don't want my child to be taught by the unwed pregnant teacher who had a sinful relationship with the infamous playboy in Korea.
When I decided to quit teaching, only Yoo Ri who felt sad by my decision. I assured her that our friendship won't be ending although I'm no longer working with her. The happiest person when I'm quitting my job was Yi Jeong-sunbae. I lied to him regarding the main cause why I'm quitting because I don't want him to feel sorry for me. But I hate to see his happy face and I hate it when he didn't even make an effort to soothe my sadness after quitting my dream job. I don't care if he didn't know the real reason and I felt my blood boiled every time I saw his disgusting smile.
So I poured out all my frustration on him (because he's the only one near me!). I kicked him out from my room. I don't know why every time he nears me I can smell something that can cause me nausea. I don't care if he took shower for five time and even use my soap, I don't care if he change his already clean cloths, I just don't want him near me. And what makes me pissed off was that he can't leave me alone and like to stick with me like a chewing gum (urgh! I really hate it when I stepped on the chewing gum on the pavement).
"I can sing a song to our unborn baby." He tried to bargain if I let him sleep in my room.
"No!"
"Why?"
"Because your voice is like a frog singing for the rain and it hurt my ears! Now leave me alone!"
"But I can massage your back."
"LEAVE!"
I knew sometimes I'm quite cruel to him but I can't control my emotion. Sometimes I felt calm but all of sudden I felt hot and angry at anything. I can easily cry like a baby at the simplest thing. If I don't get what I wanted, if I reading a sad news, if I watching a sad dramas or movies and even when sunbae slightly raised his voice at me, I will cry and cry and I can't make it stop.
I became stubborn, manipulative and always made sunbae's head aching by my tidal behaviour (well sometimes I'm up and happy and sometimes I'm down and sad – repeated continuously). I knew it but I can't do anything when my hormones took in charge.
But I'm surprised by sunbae's calmness and patient when dealing with a weirdo like me. No matter how loud I screamed at him, no matter how many insulting words I said to him, no matter what kind of thing or food I asked from him, he never lost his patient and trying very hard to give what I wanted. I can't help to fall in love even deeper for him. If I can fall in love with the bad So Yi Jeong, of course the good and loving So Yi Jeong made me crazier in love with him.
As time goes by, sunbae didn't afraid anymore to show his affection to his unborn son. Yes, a son. We finally knew the gender of our baby (after so much heated argument). He always caressed my tummy, listening to his movement with his ear, and even scolding him for always kicking his omma's tummy.
We had a little fight regarding his name as we have our choice of name. Luckily we have Ji Hoo-sunbae as our brilliant friend that came out with the idea to combine the name that we chose. I don't care as long as I can call him Yul (true, I wanted that name because of the adorable prince Yul from Goong drama) and Yi Jeong-sunbae finally agree with the name. So now the name of our son is So Yul Jin.
Having Yul Jin inside me was not easy and it became more uncomfortable when he's getting bigger and bigger. My whole body aching especially my back. I never got to sleep soundly at night and my movement also became difficult because of my weight. Actually I'm a little bit worry that sunbae will hate the changes of my figure because I'm getting fatter and fatter but his eyes never fail to look at me in admiration and he always praised me that I'm the most beautiful pregnant lady that he ever see.
The time for Yul Jin to come is just around the corner. I hope that the time will come faster because I can't wait to see him (and because I wanted to end this miserable condition soon). I wonder what he'll look like. Whether he will look more like me or his father. I smiled while caressing my big tummy as I tried to imagining his face.
"Why are you smiling like that?" Yi Jeong-sunbae asked me as soon as he stepped out from the bathroom. I was sitting on my bed as I clustered the pillows to support my back.
"Nothing, I just can't wait to see him." I looked at sunbae and smiling at him.
He walked to me and took a sit beside me and facing my body. He put his hands on top of my hands and slowly descending his face and kissed my tummy.
"Yul Jin-ah, did you hear that. We can't wait to meet you. So be a good boy and hurry up and come out from there a.s.a.p.!" He mockingly knocks at my tummy and I giggling at his action. He then softly caressing my lips with his thumb and slowly kiss me. I return his kiss and manage to say in between those kisses;
"I love you Yi Jeong-sunbae."
But as always, I never heard him returning my confession, neither a rejection nor an acceptance. Just a plain silence…