In the smallest, occupied, bedroom of the house, Rhydian was trying to fight the urge to close his eyes. He didn't want to sleep. Maddy might wake up and need him. He needed to stay awake for her sake, she was his priority from now on.
In the bed next to Rhydian's chair, Maddy was beginning to stir. The painkillers had started to wear off, allowing her to slowly awaken from her uneasy sleep. 'Rhydian?' Maddy whispered. 'Rhydian? Are you awake?' She didn't want to speak to loudly in case he really was asleep. She wasn't the only one who needed to rest after the day they'd had.
Rhydian jumped to attention at the sound of her voice. He was so glad to see Maddy properly awake and not in shock from seeing him, or too apparently in pain from her injuries. It made Rhydian smile. 'I'm here Mads. Do you want me to get your Mum? Do you need something?' He would not let himself fall under the illusion that Maddy would choose to speak to him right now, after everything that had happened, before her family. He'd pushed her away. Rhydian would understand if Maddy wanted to do the same to him. However, no such request for space between them, or for a different person than him, came.
'No, no,' she silenced his queries, 'I'm fine here with you.' Maddy returned his smile, then out of nowhere, worry struck her face like it had so often struck Rhydian's lately. 'I didn't wake you, did I? I'm sorry if I did.' She stared nervously down at her hands now.
'Don't be stupid. And besides, being woken up by you is a pleasure after not seeing you for so long.'
Maddy raised her head now to see the expression on Rhydian's face. As Maddy did this, their eyes met for a few seconds, before they both looked away again, blushing.
'How'd you feel?'Rhydian asked lightly, although really he was trying his best to hide his deep concern for Maddy's welfare.
'If I don't think about the pain, I won't feel it.' This was Maddy's hint to him to change the subject.
'Right… Sorry.' Rhydian said this with none of his usual confidence or boyish charm.
'And you can stop that right now!'
'Stop what?' Rhydian was confused.
'Apologising! I heard you saying sorry to Mam too when you thought I was unconscious! None of this is your fault!'
'But it is Mads! I should never have come back! If I wouldn't have come back, you would still be fine! You wouldn't be hurt!' He protested.
'But I would be and you know it! You saw it! Physically I might have been unharmed, but mentally I'd have been exactly the same as I've been every day since you've left!' Maddy was finally starting to regain some of the fire that had been missing from her in the months of Rhydian's absence. She sat bolt upright now so as to be able to be at the same height as him in his chair. The sudden movement caused her to yelp in pain, making Rhydian jump up so that he could help.
'Are you sure that you don't need some more painkiller? I can easily get you some, we needn't bother your Mum.' He took hold of her shoulders and helped to slowly ease her back down into her bed.
Her eyes had a hint of resentment in them now. 'Trust me. This is nothing compared to what it's been like while you've been away.' She wished that she could retract the statement as soon as she had said it. She hadn't thought before she'd spoke.
Rhydian paused as soon as the sentence was said. An awkward silence filled the room. Rhydian saw Maddy looking apologetically into his face. 'I suppose I deserve that.' He said this to acknowledge Maddy's words, but show that he would let them go.
'No, no you don't. I'm sorry Rhyd-' She was cut off.
'Yes I do!' He realised that he'd raised his voice in anger at the disagreement now. He took a deep, calming, breath before carrying on at a lower volume. 'Forget about returning, if I'd have never left in the first place, and just found a way to get rid of Ceri, then we'd still be like we were, we'd still be happy…' He got lost in his only thought for a moment before returning back to earth. 'But no. I had to be selfish. I left, not because I thought it was the right thing to do, but because I thought it was what I wanted. It turned out I was wrong.'
'But you're here now, and that's all I care about-' This fell on deaf ears as Rhydian interrupted again.
'I tried to come back Mads. Almost straight away, truthfully, I did. But I wanted to leave on a good note with Ceri, so I was naïve enough to tell her that I wanted to come back. She said that she wouldn't let me. I said that I'd come back anyway. That's when she threatened to do what she's now done.' Rhydian was a mess now. His speech was rushed and he no longer even looked at Maddy or waited for her reply. He was in a world of his own. It sounded like he was trying to convince himself of his needing to stay away, rather than trying to convince Maddy.
'Rhydian, I-' Maddy saw the anger and self-hatred building inside Rhydian before she broke off as he leapt up and ran from her room, down the stairs, and out of her house into the dark.