Gail led on her bed watching TV, being sent home from work sucked! There was nothing to take her mind off the real issues in her life, here she was sat wondering what repercussions she would face after disrespecting her mother ? Her father had called her four times which she ignored, Steve had texted saying how proud he was of her for standing up to their mom. In which she replied that he was " a loser" .. Steve took that as his little sister was slowly returning back to her old self .. Gail had however began to forgive Traci,even accepting a donut from her earlier that morning .. It was just Holly left .. Gail was finding it hard to let the anger she felt go.. Something inside her just wouldn't let up., it was like an itch she couldn't reach .. "Just let it go" she told herself over and over yet still couldn't find the courage to Call.

The front door made a noise much to Gail's delight ., she was that bored even Chloe being here would be better then sat alone "Dov"? She called out ..

Her bedroom door slowly opened and Holly popped her head in ..

Holly was the last person Gail expected to see .. She wasn't mad she was there, which was a nice surprise to her .. "You're not Dov"

Holly shook her head kicking off her boots , without saying a word she climbed on to Gail's bed lying beside her .. " I heard you got hurt today"?

Gail rubbed her head " not really it's just a bump, Oliver was over reacting "

Holly led there a while in silence watching Gail flick through the TV .. "

you know I didn't set out to be a pathologist"? She spoke causing Gail to frown ..

" I wanted to be a good old regular Doctor.. And half way through my residency I had a chance to head out with the paramedic team .. It was just a normal day and I remember one of them moaning about how the shift was going be a long one he could feel it" .. Holly cleared her throat never taking her eyes off the blonde who had yet to look at her

" we got a call to a traffic accident and uh .. She bit her lip giving herself a moment " when we got there it turned out that a drunk driver had mounted the curb "

Gail looked at Holly for the first time seeing her eyes fill with water behind her glasses " he uh .. He ploughed straight into two kids who were walking home from school"

Gail gasped at the quick image that flashed through her mind " shit"

"Mmmmm" Holly nodded " they were eleven and seven , it turned out the other brother was suppose to pick them up but he got talking to a girl and the kids decided to head home alone .. His name was jack, he held his sisters hand all the way from school till they hit those stop lights, eye witnesses said he pushed his little sister out the way and took the full force of the car " Holly had a Huge lump in her throat that she found hard to swallow, but seeing the ice melt around Gail gave her the strength to continue " his head was bleeding so the paramedic asked me to hold him, he was in my arms and I was holding a towel to his wound, his sister was screaming for their mom and the whole time the little boy was trying to reassure her it's going to be ok" Holly wiped her eyes " the paramedic said we had to move him quick because he was loosing so much blood, he look straight at me and said " I'm gonna die aren't i "?

"Jesus Holly" Gail whispered..

"We got him on the stretcher but the move was just to much for him and he bleed out ... He died holding my hand Gail " Holly began to weep " we didn't save him, and at the hospital when he's parents arrived I remember his mom lying on the floor screaming as the Doctor tired to explain what happened ..

Gail shifted her body so she was led next to the brunette their hands millimetres away ..

" I just stood there helpless .. When I looked past the parents I saw a teenager sat with his head in his lap rocking on his feet .. I went over to see if he was ok.. And saw the resemblance instantly.. He was the big brother," Holly took a deep breath " he was crying, mumbling to himself over and over how he should have picked the kids up .. And that it was all his fault , his brother was dead because of him" .. The pain in his eyes Gail, they haunted me for so long"

Holly took her glasses off placing them between the two bodies " After that I couldn't concentrate, I kept seeing Jacks little face, Every time a new patient came in I would freak out, I couldn't do it anymore, I was afraid of losing some one again,I struggled with the thought of not being able to fix everybody, I confided in my mentor, I told him that I lost my nerve and didn't want to be a doctor anymore .. "

Gail by now had tears herself, sad that Holly had to go through something so heartbreaking " so what happened "

Well after trying for another month or so I.. I knew I lost my bottle, I dreaded everything to do with going to work, so my mentor introduced me to the best pathologist in the whole of Canada and the rest they say is history "

"You mean that stuffy old dude from camp? Gail teased

"Hurb yeah " Holly nodded ...

Gail looked into the Doctors eyes " Holly? Why are you telling me this"?

Holly sat up wiping her eyes and throwing her hair up " Gail three months later I read in the paper that Jacks brother took his own life "

Gail's breath caught her her throat ..

"He left a note saying The guilt was to much to bare for him and he wanted to be with his brother"

Holly looked down at a still led down Gail " when Cyrus West came into my lab I looked into his eyes Gail, I saw that teenager again, just like I saw jacks face when I liked at Tyrell" they had the Same look, the same pain, and there was no way I could stand by and ruin Cyrus' life by sending him to jail "... Holly knew she had to tread carefully now .. " you and I are built differently honey, I'm not tough like you, I can't pretend not to care, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I want to help people.. Gail? I should never have lied to you about the flowers and I should discussed things with you and for that I really am sorry," Holly took Gail's hand in her own

" I hate that I'm the reason why your hurt and angry, and I'm sorry i dragged Traci into this, and I hate that you feel you can't trust me, I am really ..really sorry from the bottom of my heart that I've done that to you ... But I can't be sorry for helping Cyrus .. I can't be sorry for having a heart, I saw the same look in his eyes Gail and I was so afraid that he would end up on my table, I'm not asking you to forgive me because I know I have to earn that.. But I am asking you to try and understand"

Gail sat up still allowing Holly to hold her hand so that had to be progress right ?

"I'm angry at you Holly" she whispered " and I wanna let it go but I can't, I'm not use to someone wanting to work things out with me, I'll be honest with you , I've never felt like this about anybody before, I want to put this away and move on but I'm struggling"

" I know and I deserve that" Holly said " I just .. I just need to know that I haven't lost you Gail"? Holly's tears falling thick and fast" I need to know that we can work this out, I love you"

Gail closed her eyes nodding " I know.. And I love you, I just.. I just need to work through this but I have to do it in my own time"

Holly nodded " I know.. I know and I'm willing to let you do that but.. But can you be mad at me while your with me?..Because I cant handle this... I can try and make it better everyday,prove to you this is worth it and that you can trust me, but I can't deal with the silence Gail, the not seeing you? Touching? Kissing you?

Gail took Holly's face in her hands wiping away her tears before kissing her deeply .. Keeping her lips on Holly's for some time before she pulled away " I love you .. But I swear to god Holly if he even so much as takes toilet paper from the morgue and I will arrest the shit out of him "

Holly laughed and cried at the same time pulling Gail into a deep hug "ok .. Ok yes "

Gail took the pathologist in, the smell of her hair, the feel of her skin, the beat of her heart.. Being held by Holly made the knot in her stomach seem to loosen " I love you " Holly whispered kissing Gail's temple ..

" my Mom knows about you! And she's on the prowl, so you might change your mind once she starts meddling"?

Holly ran her thumb over Gail's lips " if we can get through this then your mother is a walk in the park ...