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Chapter 9

Jessica's Decision

An hour into the party, Jessica felt like she had exhausted her stay, and was ready to leave. Looking over at Dorcas, she saw that her friend was in good hands with Amos, who seemed to be making sure that she didn't overindulge too much with the drinking. Feeling it was all right to leave, Jessica opened the door and silently slipped out. As she came around a corner, she heard some voices.

"I don't think you understand, Longbottom. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Even though you're a bloodtraitor, your blood is still as pure as ours. Rejecting my offer would be a foolish thing to do."

"I think I'll take my chances." Jessica peered around the corner and saw Snape and Frank staring each other down with their wands drawn.

"Deep down, you know that the world must be purged of Mudbloods and half-breeds. You could be a great asset to our cause."

"Tsch, right. I definitely want to join your cause of killing my fellow witches and wizards just because of their blood status," James sneered sarcastically. "It's something I dreamed of doing since I was in diapers. Don't make me laugh, Snivellus."

Snape tightened his grip on his wand. "I really hate that name," he growled before yelling, "Everte Statum!"

Frank reacted with a Shield Charm, protecting himself from Snape's spell, but it was still powerful enough to send him sliding back a few feet. "Incarcerous!"

Thick ropes shot from the tip of Frank's wand and wrapped themselves around Snape. Unable to keep his balance, Snape fell to the ground, and looked up at Frank with a chilling hatred in his dark eyes.

"You're a fool, Longbottom. The Dark Lord will rise again, and you will be one of the first he kills! I'll make sure of it! You'll-"

"Langlock!" Snape began to making choking sounds as his tongue was glued to the roof of his mouth, preventing him from speaking. "You really don't want to cross me, Snape."

"What is going on here?" McGonagall demanded as she approached. "Explain yourself, Longbottom!"

Frank spun around to face the Deputy Headmistress, blanching in the process. McGonagall was, perhaps, the most intimidating professor in this school. She was not afraid to discipline anyone who stepped out of line, even those in her own House. She was the Head of Gryffindor, and definitely not one to cross.

"Mr. Longbottom?"

Frank looked at Snape, then back up at the Professor, who was waiting for an answer. Jessica shrank back further, wanting desperately to come out of hiding and say something, but it was almost like her feet were glued to the ground. Two voices warred inside her head.

"Do something! He'll get in trouble if you don't!"

"This isn't your problem. Frank can take care of himself. The only thing McGonagall will probably do is deduct House points and give him detention."

"He'd probably do the same thing for you!"

"Avoid conflicts! They'll only get you into trouble!"

"Help him!"

"Just walk away!"

The voices continued to argue back and forth, until Jessica felt like her head was about to split.

"Snape insulted a few of my friends," Frank explained, his eyes meeting bravely with the stern professor's. "I wasn't about to let him slander them, just because of their blood status."

"Be that as it may, Longbottom, you still broke the rules. Fighting is not allowed in the corridors. Ten points will be taken from Gryffindor and you will receive a week's worth of detention. Now, I suggest that Mr. Snape and you both get back to your common rooms." She flicked her wand, nullifying the effects of the spells on Snape. The Slytherin glared at Frank with the utmost loathing, then turned and, with a sweep of his robes, headed in the direction of the dungeons where the Slytherin common room was located.

Turning on her heels, Professor McGonagall walked briskly past Frank, turning a corner, and disappearing. Feeling that she should get out of there before she was discovered, Jessica began to back away. However, she had failed to notice the suit of armor behind her, and bumped into it. It made a loud rattling sound as it toppled over. Cursing silently, she tried to walk away quickly, but ended up stepping on a dismantled metal leg, which slipped out from under her foot and caused her to fall. Wincing, she rubbed the offending area of her rear end.

"Jessica?" The seventeen-year-old Hufflepuff looked up to see Frank standing in front of her, his face twisted into a perplexed expression. "What are you doing here?"

"Er..." Jessica shuffled her feet uncomfortably, wondering what to say. How would he react if he found out that she had been watching the entire scen unfold. She already thought herself a coward for not stepping in to help him.

"You saw the whole thing, didn't you?" Frank asked.

Jessica looked down at her feet and nodded. "I didn't mean to spy! It's just that this was the most direct way back to the common room, and, well..." her voice trailed off.

Frank chuckled and offered his hand to her, which she took, allowing him to help her stand. "Don't worry, I'm not mad at you. But I'm positively livid at Snape. For him to corner me and threaten me into joining his master's cause, it's disgusting."

"He's recruiting within the school?"

Frank nodded. "He seems to think that I'm worthy of consideration, despite the fact that I'm, supposedly, a blood traitor." He snorted. "As if I would ever join such a cause."

"Do you know anything about this person that Snape is trying to recruit for?"

"Voldemort? I don't even know what he looks like. All I know is that he's slowly coming out of hiding, but, apparently, he uses his minions to do his business. I believe they're called Death Eaters."

Just the name sent chills down Jessica's spine like ice cold water. "So, you think that Voldemort might have given him the task of recruiting purebloods?"

"Well, Snape also mentioned that he's looking for particularly gifted witches and wizards. So, I don't know if that also means those who contain an exceptional amount of magical skill." He smiled at her. "But I doubt you'd have anything to worry about."

"Because I'm not gifted?" Jessica asked in a dejected tone.

"No, no!" Frank cried. "You're a brilliant witch. I never meant to insinuate that you were rubbish. I'm just saying that you should feel relieved that Snape wouldn't even consider you."

Jessica understood that Frank wasn't trying to offend her. Yet, she couldn't help, but feel like Frank was only making it worse for her. It wasn't that she wanted to side with Snape. She would rather die before she did that, but it was the fact that she felt helpless and unworthy.

Frank rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Er...I should really learn to stop inserting my foot into my mouth. Want me to help you clean this mess up?"

Jessica nodded and pulled her wand, using a Repairing Charm to piece the broken suit of armor back together, while Frank levitated the statue and set it back onto the pedestal.

"There," Frank said pocketing his wand after the armor was back in its proper place. "Next time, you should watch where you're going," he said, his eyes glinting teasingly. "Want me to walk you to your common room?"

Jessica shook her head. "No, thanks. I'll get there on my own." She bid Frank good night and walked past him towards the Hufflepuff basement. When she stepped inside the common room, she noticed a few more Hufflepuffs lounging around on the various pieces of furniture. Jessica sat down in one of the empty chairs near the fireplace and gazed into the flames.

"You look like you're in a pretty deep thought," said Trudy, one of Jessica's fellow seventh-years. Trudy was pretty good friends with Dorcas. Jessica hung out and spoke with her on occasion.

"I'm just thinking of my Transfiguration Essay," Jessica said, coming up with a lie on the spot. She didn't feel like getting into what had happened just a few minutes ago. Luckily, Trudy seemed to accept it.

"Can you believe that McGonagall assigned us two rolls of parchment?" she complained, flopping down onto a chair dramatically.

"Hm...I guess it comes with being a seventh year. You get bombarded with a cauldron-load of homework. I'm dreading the N.E.W.T.s.

Trudy groaned. "Don't remind me. My head feels like its about to explode."

Jessica laughed softly. "Well, I'm sure there is a spell that might help piece it back together," she said playfully.

She spent the rest of the evening talking with Trudy, temporarily forgetting about her thoughts. Yet, when she went to bed later, they returned, full force. She was determined to change the way people saw her, no matter what it took.

September soon faded into October, and with it came the first Hogsmeade weekend of the first term. Remus waited outside the school, looking shabbier than ever. Dark circles had built up underneath his eyes, and his sweatervest hung loosely off of him, indicating that he had lost quite a bit of weight. Still, he couldn't have been happier about this visit. He had been looking forward to it since the term started.

"Ugh, I can't believe Sirius," Sophia muttered bitterly, folding her arms across her chest in a huff as she approached Remus.

Remus was bewildered. "What's wrong, now?"

"Penelope! I asked Sirius if he wanted to hang out at The Hog's Head, but he said he had already agreed to hang out with Penelope at The Three Broomsticks. You and I both know that Sirius' form of hanging out does not involve talking."

Remus shuffled his feet uncomfortably. "Why don't you just say something to him?"

"Because he's a dimwitted prat!" Sophia snapped.

"Trouble in paradise?" Dorcas walked up with Jessica, who was looking very pretty in her light pink jumper.

"You could say that," Sophia muttered. "Dorcas, you wanna spy on Sirius and Miss Thing?"

Dorcas scratched her head in confusion. "Who?"

"She means Penelope," Remus offered. There was a glint of amusement in his light green eyes.

"Oh." Dorcas shrugged. "Er...sure."

"I thought you didn't care what Sirius does," Jessica said.

Sophia rounded on her. "Of course, I don't! I just want to see how he makes a fool of himself in front of her!"

"But don't you think this jealousy has gone far enough?" Jessica asked.

"I'm not jealous!"

Remus placed a hand on Jessica's shoulder before she could say anything. "Just let Sophia deal with it for herself," he spoke in a very calm tone.

"Thank you, Remus!" Sophia and Dorcas began to head towards Hogsmeade.

Remus sighed. He had a feeling that Sophia's vendetta against Penelope would be something that would last for most of the year. He could feel himself already getting a head-ache, but he didn't want to let that get in the way of his first Hogsmeade date of the year with Jessica.

"Where do you want to go first?" Remus asked.

Jessica frowned as she looked up at him. "You look tired."

"No more than I usually am. Don't worry, I'll be all right as soon as I get some coffee into me."

"Well, Madame Puddifoots it is." Jessica intertwined her fingers with his as they walked into Hogsmeade.

It was a pleasantly cool day. Students were coming in and out of the different shops. Jessica caught a glimpse of Amos and waved at him, earning a wave in return. Remus' smile fell briefly, and the image of Amos and Jessica together plagued his mind. Luckily, it didn't last long, thanks to Jessica tugging on his arm and leading him inside the cozy teashop.

They sat down across from each other at a small, round table, covered in a white tablecloth with a candle in the very center. Remus went ahead and ordered his coffee, while Jessica ordered a hot chocolate. Remus knew that Jessica didn't care much for coffee, so it was no surprise that she didn't order it. When he looked at her, he saw that she appeared to be deep in thought.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

Jessica started to shake her head, but stopped, then told him about what had happened a few weeks ago, mentioning Frank's confrontation with Snape, which she, herself had witnessed.

"I just feel like I should have done something, helped Frank in some way. Instead, I just stood there like a coward. Maybe Snape's right. Maybe I am just a worthless weakling."

Remus' heart went out to her. How many times had he thought of himself as unworthy? It had faded slightly over the years, but it still remained, buried deep in the darkest recesses of his mind. It seemed like Jessica was feeling the full force of it.

"I wish you wouldn't listen to anything that greasy haired git has to say. If you let him plant doubts in your head, then he's already won."

Jessica slowly sipped her cocoa. "I just want to be able to stand up for myself. I want to be able to defend my friends. Do you know how sick and tired I am of clamming up and running away, scared each time a challenge presents itself? Do you know how tired I am of being so weak?"

Remus placed his hand over hers. "You're anything, but weak, Jess."

"I am weak!" she snapped. "You're this brilliantly gifted wizard who isn't afraid of anything! Hell, the Sorting Hat put you in Gryffindor for a reason!"

Remus was used to Jessica's small outburts, but nothing like this. "You don't know everything about me," he said bitterly. "Don't think for a minute that I'm not scared of anything. There are plenty of things that I fear. You have no idea what it's like to live with my curse. I pray that you never have to find out. Every full moon I'm afraid of coming across an innocent and ripping them to shreds. Do you know how many nights I've dreamed that such a thing has happened to you?"

Jessica lowered her eyes and gazed into the brown liquid. "I just want to be able to hold my own if I'm ever cornered and no one is there to help me out of the situation. There could come a time when that happens."

Remus relaxed. "Yes, that's true. I agree that it might be good for you to improve on your Defensive Spells. You know the theory behind them, and know what they do, but it's putting them in practice that you need the most help with."

"Exactly! I need someone to tutor me! Maybe a few times a week. We can use the Room of Requirement. Please say you'll help me."

Remus squeezed her hand. "I'll do whatever I can. I can talk to James and Sirius to see if they'd be willing to take part in it, as well. They're the ones who are really skilled at Defensive Spells."

"What about Offensive Spells?"

Remus wagged his forefinger. "Ah, ah, ah. Don't you know that the best offense is a good defense? It'll be best if you become comfortable with the defensive spells, first, before you move on to the next step."

Jessica's eyes lit up, something which Remus loved to see. For the first time in, what seemed like, ages, she actually seemed genuinely happy. He leaned forward across the table, and met her lips in a soft kiss. "I'll talk to James and Sirius later. It might also be beneficial of we get the others involved as well. Having more than one tutor can be a good thing."

Jessica seemed to relax after that, as if a heavy burden had been lifted from her shoulders, and the two of them spent the rest of their time in the teashop talking about random topics.