Cas…did you take my new flannel? The blue one with the red stripes and the super soft cuffs that don't rub when I roll up the sleeves? You totally did you little weirdo If you did, just don't get Biggersons grease on it or something, or I'm takin' it out on your hide when you get back.

Don't think I don't see what you're doin', dodging all my address questions. I'm not gonna try to come drag you back by the hair Like I had to with Sam that one time. Just don't…I don't know, don't be sleeping in your car or shit like that. You're not as immortal as you used to be. Trust me, that shit leaves crick in your neck that never goes away. You didn't forget how to put gas in that junker, did you? Let me know and I can walk you through it.

Don't worry about your coat, I stashed it in my closet. I'll keep it from getting any more smelly or gross than it already is. I kinda like having it It reminds me

Look, our…relationship, it doesn't have to be complicated. It wouldn't be so complicated if you would just stay in one goddamned place long enough to let me show you. You know what I said in that crypt and just 'cause we're not in a life or death situation right now doesn't make it less true. If you only left because you felt bad you couldn't heal Sam, or help with the angel tablet, that's dumb. Those things aren't why we want you back here.

Also…you should try the french toast at biggerson's instead of the pancakes. They suck a lot less. And drink some freakin' orange juice or something. You need vitamins now.

-Dean

Dean tucked the journal back in its place on the shelf, frustrated with his own mother-hen tendencies and Cas's tendency to ignore them. The guy doesn't want to come back, fine. Whatever. Dean left the journal to check on his brother, with only a quick glance back at his closet, where a worn and frayed trenchcoat hung, tucked inside of one of Dean's softer canvas jackets. It was only because he was short on hangers, he told himself as he flicked off his light. No other reason.

I have been… partooking pertekin PARTAKING in your favorite pastime. I must say, it's a lot easier to get inibr inebat drunk now that I can't metabolize the alcohol so fast.

I'm leaving tomorrow. If there ever were angels here, they're gone now! Or they heard I was coming and got out of here as fast as they could… wouldn't blame them.

You must tell me if it's commonplace for a man to write in a diary journal while in a bar. The looks I'm getting… well they're not the worst looks I've gotten I CAN say that.

…

The barkeepeR keeps spoutiNg off some NONsense about me being "cut ofF." I tried to explain to him that WINCHESTERS can hold their liquor but he didn't underStand the referEnce… i don't know why i said it anyway. I'm not a winchester. I'm… not anyone.

…

Dean… you have to know that she made me do It. she made me kill you probbly a thousandd times. my head… it wass so… fuzzy. But I didn't want to do it. I could never hurt you… and I tried my best to resist her… I have hurt you though. I still do. i know youllll never forgive me but i only wish… I could explain it to you if was… I wish I was there with y—

"Castiel?

Castiel. Through his haze he recognized his real name, spoken in full for the first time in weeks, and was thrust back into almost-sobriety. Snapping the journal shut, he spun around on the bar stool to face the voice.

It was a girl. A young one, no older than twelve or thirteen, if he guessed correctly. Her straight, sandy blond hair reached to her chin and her eyes were a soft brown against almost translucent pale skin. Her arms were crossed over her chest, her mouth a hard line.

"Hello brother." She spoke again, her voice much deeper than a pre-adolescent girl's should be.

Cas stood up, trying to ignore the way the room was spinning under his feet. He tried to see through the human façade, to his sister's real face. His human eyes could only focus and unfocus however, and even that action was impeded by his present state.

"I-I'm sorry," he rasped out, "I don't recognize you."

The girl nodded. "I heard the rumors."

"Rumors?" He squinted, trying to block out the blinding light coming from headlights outside.

"That you were human now. The final piece in Metatron's spell." She held eye contact with him and Cas felt a strange, uncomfortable sensation at the back of his neck. He hadn't spoken with an angel in a long time and no one held eye contact quite like an angel.

"That's correct." No use denying it now. "And you would be?"

"Ambriel." She said, almost snapping to attention, "I served under you during our crusade through Egypt."

Before or after I was dragged away by Naomi, he thought to himself.

"Hey buddy," the bartender called over to them, "I don't know how your friend got in, but no underage kids allowed. You both gotta leave."

Castiel wasn't drunk enough to pick a fight with a man that looked like he had seen a few wars of his own, so he nodded silently, grabbed the journal, and led Ambriel to the door. The smell of beer and sweat dissipated slightly but the sticky Louisiana humidity clung to his skin and hair, little different from the muggy bar interior. When he looked up, however, the sky was full of stars. The fogginess in his head began to clear, replaced with hot shame in his belly. They walked together in silence for a moment, Cas sneaking glances at Ambriel from the corner of his eyes. He didn't know whether he should be afraid for his life or not. In his present state he didn't care that much.

"I know you've been looking for me." She spoke finally, "I've been watching you. You work at that… eat establishment."

Cas nodded once. "I don't remember you, though. I wondered whether I would be able to recognize angels, now that I'm human. I guess not."

"You may still be able to test that theory. I made myself invisible the whole time." She explained.

Cas stopped, looking at her. Ambriel's expression was flat. "You still have your grace?"

"It would seem so."

Cas started to back away, his boots scraping on the sidewalk, then stood his ground. There was no way he could run. "Are you going to kill me?"

She held his gaze, an unreadable emotion flickering through her eyes. "You really don't remember me?"

"I'm sorry," he shook his head, "I don't. Most of my angelic memory is lost, my brain can't hold it all anymore."

She sighed and looked away. "No matter. I am not here to kill you, I could never do that, even though you haven't bestowed the same courtesy to our other brothers."

Cas flinched, feeling his own shame burn at his face and ears.

She ignored his obvious discomfort. "I have checked the area. I'm the only angel left here from this group of fallen, the rest seemed to have scattered." she paused, "Can I ask a favor of you?"

"Of course!" Castiel cursed his drunken state from keeping him from doing what he had set out to do in the first place. "Anything."

"This vessel, while strong, has not proven to be subtle while traveling alone. Twice I've been detained by the human police and have had to make a rather… loud escape. If I were traveling with someone who appears older, I could remain unnoticed." She looked at him, expectant.

Her face appeared so young, but Castiel knew better now that he could look into her eyes. Upon a second inspection he realized her eyes weren't brown, but hazel. The greens and blues woven in with the brown reminded him of Sam.

He didn't know if he could trust her. But this was what he had set out to do and he couldn't just back out now that he felt a twinge of homesickness. He pushed thoughts of Dean and Sam and homemade pancakes to the back of his mind.

"Yes." He answered firmly. "I welcome your company. I'm hoping to move on tomorrow, and find more of us."

She nodded once and lifted two fingers towards his forehead. "Name the place."

"What? No," He almost shouted, backing away from her hovering hand, "I mean, I appreciate the offer, but the safest way for us now is to drive. There's a possibility that you could be tracked by using your grace. By demons or worse."

She lowered her hand and continued walking. "I suppose you're right." They made their way to the parking lot silently. Castiel supposed he should have been surprised when Ambriel found his car without his help. Who knows how long she had been watching him.

They piled into the front seats. "We'll depart in the morning. As soon as I… sleep it off."

She nodded, not moving her eyes from his. He shifted uncomfortably.

"Um… would you mind… not staring at me?"

Wordlessly, she shifted her gaze to the windshield. Angels, he thought to himself.

Before he drifted off into sleep, his drunkenness pulling him into oblivion, he remembered the journal with his unfinished letter to Dean. He picked it up, grateful that his only pen was still lodged inside, keeping his page. Sleepily, he wrote:

Found an angel. Will explain more soon.

Goodnight Dean