Chapter Six.

The question surprises Cas but he nods anyways, going to get his shoes and socks from the floor where Dean had left them. Dean puts his on as well and goes over to the door to hold it open for Cas. After walking outside in the negative degree weather, both Dean and Cas shiver.

"Shit… maybe a walk isn't such a good idea."

Cas ducks his still wet head and shivers. "D-Do you want your jacket back?"

Dean shakes his head and reaches in the pocket of the jacket, grabbing his keys. He grabs Cas by his elbow and pulls him over towards the Impala and pushes him in. Fumbling with the keys, Dean slams his door shut and turns the key in the ignition to keep the car off but so he can turn on the heater, Zeppelin playing a low volume.

Cas stares at Dean, burrowing himself into the jacket. Dean stays silent for a few seconds but then looks over at Cas. "I don't know how close you are to the Robert guy, but I figured you'd rather have this conversation in private."

Cas lifts his head, confused, and tilts it. "Robert? We're simply friends. I met him at my last shelter. Why would we need to talk in private? Is something wrong, Dean?"

"I don't know. You tell me?"

Cas stares at Dean a few seconds longer, before grasping where Dean was taking this conversation. He sighs and sits back against the seat, staring ahead at the dirty grey walls of the motel.

"I'm fine, Dean. Nothing is wrong."

"Really." Dean is obviously in a take no shit mood.

"Yes really, Dean. Nothing is the matter," Cas says, with a bit more bite than he meant to. But he can't let Dean find out. No matter what the cause. He couldn't handle bringing another burden into Dean's life.

Dean sighs and rubs his temples. He's probably tired, Cas thinks. It is about two in the morning. Idly, Cas wonders why he feels exhausted yet not at the same time. Human emotions are strange.

"Look Cas. I need to know what's going on, Man. I'm worried about you. You just took off into the woods at night and then stayed there until you nearly freaking froze to death!"

"Don't be dramatic," Cas rolls his eyes. "I was not going to freeze to death. And I didn't mean to stay out that long."

"Well why did you go in the first place? And there was blood on your angel blade. Did something attack you?"

Cas freezes up, which was his mistake. Now Dean knows what to focus on.

"Something did, didn't it. Did you get hurt? Is that why you won't take your shirt off? What's been haunting you, Cas? Have the Angels found you?"

Cas shakes his head. "No! No I… A- a boar. A boar attacked me. Uhh but I uh. I stabbed it."

Dean raises an eyebrow. "A boar. And you stabbed it. Then please, tell me. Where is the body of this boar?"

Cas stammers. "Uhh St-still in the w-woods? It-… It ran off. After. After I stabbed it."

Now Dean rolls his eyes. "Cas, you're a terrible liar, and you know it. What really happened."

Cas shakes his head again. "I told you! Nothing! Nothing happened, Dean!"

"Then why was there blood on your blade!? And why won't you take your shirt off!?"

Dean was in Cas's face, shouting the questions at him. Cas keeps shaking his head, refusing to look Dean in the eye.

Suddenly, Dean is grabbing at Cas, pushing him against the door and trying to shove his jacket off of him to get to the hem of his sweater up. Cas yelps and tries to push Dean off of him.

"Damnit, Cas! I'm worried, just let me see!"

"No! No get off of me!" Cas gets his legs underneath Dean but it doesn't do anything as the older Winchester finally gets a hold of Cas's hands and holds them above his head, jacket hanging off of one arm and gets in between his legs so he can't kick at him.

Dean gets the sweater up Cas's chest but doesn't see anything. Confused, he looks at Cas. "There's nothing here?"

Cas looks away from Dean so he hopes he can't tell the lie. "I told you! There's nothing!"

A look of realization comes across Dean's face and he glances up at Cas's arms. "Unless…"

He goes to pull the sweater up and off Cas's head, but only manages to get it to his neck before Cas suddenly bursts into tears. He hangs his head, tears dripping off his face, and chest heaving in great sobs that shake his body. Dean stops in fear and loosens his grip on Cas enough where Cas rips his hands from Dean and holds his arms tight to his chest. Dean sits back, not knowing what to do.

Gasping in air, Cas forces himself to calm down, wiping his face angrily and hiccupping. He glares up at Dean with red rimmed eyes.

"Cas I… I'm sorry. But I need to know you're alright. You know I wasn't trying to hurt you, right?"

Cas looks away and nods, arms still held tightly to his chest. "I know," he says in a whisper. "I know, I just- you can't see. I promised myself I'd never let you see."

"See what? Cas, please. I won't get upset, just show me." Dean leans forward, still between Castiel's legs, but stops when Cas tries to move further back against the door of the Impala. He shakes his head again.

"No, Dean. I can't show you. Please just leave it alone. I'm fine."

"No you're not!" Dean shouts, so Cas shouts back.

"Yes Dean! I am!"

"Then why won't you show me your arms!?"

"Because!"

"Because why!?"

"Because then you won't want me!"

All is silent except for Cas's sudden intake of breath as he covers his mouth.

Dean Sits back again, staring at Castiel. "What did you say?"

Cas squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head. "Nothing! I didn't say anything!"

He leans forward and tries to grab hold of Castiel's chin, but Cas flips around, opening the door and stumbles out of the car, Dean's jacket still only hanging on by one arm and sweater disheveled.

Dean jumps out, turning the car back off and runs up to Cas before he has a chance to run off. He grabs his shoulders and turns him around, locking him in place like a vice when Cas tries to shove him off. "Cas Calm down! What did you mean by I wouldn't want you?" He says in a gruff voice, forcing Cas to stay still.

Cas closes his eyes again and hangs his head. "I- If you saw… you'd see how pathetic and broken I am."

Dean could barely hear him, but still heard him none the less. Dean frowns and lifts Cas's head up and pull the jacket up, putting Cas's arm back through it, and hugs him to his chest, starting to shiver from the cold again. "Cas, I will always want you. I will never think of you as pathetic. And as for broken? Well, I'm a little broken too, you know. So… I mean… ugh- Cas what I'm trying to say is… maybe we could be broken together. If- if you want to. You could come back to the bunker with me. And I could help you. That's all I want to do, Cas. I don't want to hurt you. I'll never hate you, Cas."

Cas turns his head into Dean's neck, laying his forehead on Dean's shoulder. "But after Metatron-"

Dean tightens his arms a second. "I was a douche for kicking you out. I know that now. It wasn't your fault Metatron fucked you over. You needed me and I wasn't there. But from now on Cas," He grabs Cas by his shoulders and pulls him away, looking him in the eyes. "From now on, I swear. I'll always be there for you. Cas, I just got you back and I'm not going to let you go. I don't care if Metadouche comes blazing in demanding for you, I'll protect you. You got that? I need you Cas."

Castiel feels tears build at his eyes but he shakes them off. Now is not a time for crying. He nods, rendered speechless and hug Dean again, trembling. He wishes he can say more, but Cas finds that his throat is closed up from emotions. Even though he meant to fight it, a couple tears do actually escape, but they disappear into the fabric of Dean's shirt as quickly as they came.

Dean sighs and moves his hands down to Cas's hips, pulling him away again and grabbing his hands. "Now will you please show me your arms?"

Cas can see the immense worry and pleading in Dean's eyes but he can't. He shakes his head again, feeling the crushing guilt again, filling every part of him at denying Dean such a request. Dean looks like he's about to scream again.

But he doesn't. Instead he nods and holds Cas to his chest again, rubbing his back gently through the jacket. The wounds on Cas's back irritate a bit, but it's more pleasant than painful.

"Okay," He whispers. "Just promise me that you'll show me soon?"

Cas shakes his head. "I'm sorry Dean. I can't promise anything. I just- I can't. M-maybe… but- I- I couldn't handle-"

"Shhh shh, Angel. It's okay. Just breathe. You don't have to show me. Just keep it in mind." Cas glows at the nickname and nods against Dean, taking a deep breath.

He feels Dean shiver and turns his head, trying not to react at how close his face is to Dean's again. "Dean, you're cold. We should go back inside."

Dean reluctantly nods. "Yeah… I guess we'll talk more tomorrow. Come on." He grabs Cas's hand, and Cas feels his stomach flip at the squeeze it's new but Cas has decided it's a good thing.

They go inside and Dean sits Cas down on his mattress and leans down to take off Cas's shoes. He tries to take the jacket off of Cas but Cas shakes his head. "No I- I want to sleep with it." At Dean's raised eyebrow, Cas blushes. "T-to keep the cold away."

"Right."

Cas lays down and gets underneath the blankets.

Dean takes off his own shoes and steals a chair cushion and lays on the floor next to Cas's bed. "Pass me a blanket will you?" Dean asks. Cas waits a moment before poking his head over the edge.

"Dean?" He asks in a hesitant voice.

"Yeah?"

"I uhm- there's something I forgot to mention."

"Oh yeah? And what's that."

Cas looks to the side, feeling Dean's eyes on him. "I- I have nightmares. Well, one nightmare. Where I'm Falling. My wings are burning off. But I can't make any noise. And it hurts so bad and I'd wish it would stop but it doesn't and I try to scream but I can't and just before I land, I wake up."

Dean is sitting up now, staring at Castiel.

Cas takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a few seconds, calling on the courage of the solider he once was. He looks at Dean and swallows at the beautiful green eyes watching him. "Could you- could you protect me from them tonight Dean?"

Dean smiles softly. Cas has never seen that expression on Dean's face before. Dean stands up and climbs into the small twin size bed and gets under the blankets, holding Cas to his chest again. Their legs tangle and chests bump, and it's the sweetest feeling Cas has ever felt, he has to blink a few times to make sure it's real. He is enveloped in Dean's warmth and he could've sworn he felt a kiss pressed to the top of his head which is pressed tightly underneath Dean's chin.

"Yeah, I'll protect you Cas."

They fall asleep to the rise and fall of each other's chests.