Chapter twelve

The staff meeting went better than Harry thought and even though it took a long time and a lot of explanations about the changes. They seemed to accept that Hogwarts did need to change.

'Severus, could you remain please?'

'I'm quite busy…headmaster.'

'I realise that, but surely you can spare some time, this is important.'

'Very well.'

Minerva nodded then followed the rest of the staff out, Harry poured himself a class of Firewhiskey then poured one for Severus before he sat down again.

'There's a few things I want to say, but first, do you have a problem with me being headmaster?'

'I believe you're too young.'

'I believe I'm too young, but Hogwarts chose me. It's lucky I do have Minerva to help, not to mention Albus's portrait and all the others hanging here. Truth Severus, will you stay at Hogwarts or will you leave because of me?'

'I have not decided.'

'I don't want you to go; you're a damn good teacher, most of the time. When it comes to defence against the dark arts, there is no one better than you. I've had some of the worst in that subject, yet you knew exactly what the students needed. You heard what I said about the new charm on points; that is the only thing I hated about you Severus. You took points for no reason, you ignored people that deserved points and you always let the Slytherin's get away with anything. I'm sure you know that some of my problems in your potions class were caused by your snakes. I'm not asking you to favour other houses, I just want all staff to treat all students fairly, exactly what I am going to do, even the Slytherin's. If you could just let go of your hatred of me and what my father and godfather did to you then I believe you would end up being one of the best defence against the dark arts teachers Hogwarts has ever seen. You know the dark arts, not just from learning, but being a death eater does give you more knowledge than others and you could use that knowledge to enlighten the students. We might never like each other, we don't need to, but you are a great teacher and I do want you to stay.'

'I…will think about it.'

'That's all I want. But there is something I wish to say, something about me, something personal. Okay, you only saw my father when you looked at me and I get it, he married my mother. But that day I broke into your mind, I saw what they did. I said I would never tell anyone and I haven't, it's no one's business, it's not even mine. My father and Sirius bullied you for no reason other than their own amusement. From the time I can remember my cousin bullied me, my aunt and uncle did as well. My cousin and his friends had a game, Harry hunting. I came home covered in bruises because they were muggles, so fists were used instead of spells. My uncle hated magic; he thought we were freaks; that was my name, freak. I didn't even know my real name until I attended primary school, no one believed me when I said I thought my name was freak or boy, but that's what they called me. They had everyone believe I was either insane or a criminal. I don't know how a four and five year old could be a criminal, but everyone believed it.

'I couldn't speak in that house, I couldn't ask questions, I was made to work. I don't mind work, but the lists they used to give me would take four people days to finish and I had to do it alone in one day or no food. That happened a lot, locked up with nothing to eat, sometimes for days. I normally only got fed every second day but sometimes I went a week without any food. You met Petunia, you saw what type of girl she was, she never changed, she got worse actually. I was the family's dirty little secret, one that had to stay hidden at all costs. They told all the neighbours I went to a jail for young criminals when I started here, it was so they could explain my long absence.

'If they got visitors I was sent to my cupboard or room and had to pretend I didn't exist. I lived in the cupboard under the stairs until I received my first Hogwarts letters, ten years I was in that cupboard. I was made to cook them, I made them breakfast every morning and if I was lucky, I got one bit of cold toast. There were times I got mouldy cheese and a slice of stale bread for dinner. I would see my aunt and uncle give my cousin anything he wanted, thirty or forty gifts for his birthday; I got a tissue, or a coat hanger, if I was lucky. All that is true and all that is not a nice way for a kid to grow up, but it wasn't the worst that happened in that house. My uncle who was a large man used to like to take to me with his belt or a long rod he kept in his garage. Sometimes he hit me so hard I would end up with something broken. If they felt generous, they would take me to the hospital, a day or two later. They were the worst kinds of bullies, picked on a small child just because I was different.

'The first time Ron took me to his home; that was after he rescued me with the twins help. I had been locked up for a week and hadn't eaten in days, even Hedwig was locked in her cage. All my stuff like my trunk, books and wand was locked up the moment I stepped through the door. They were scared I would kill them in their sleep or turn them into toads. I saw the Weasley home and I thought it was absolutely fantastic, but what surprised me was how they treated me, like I was a member of the family. I couldn't understand why they didn't make me work, why they gave me lots of food, why Mrs. Weasley fixed the holes in my clothes, why Mr. Weasley liked to talk to me. I thought any minute the pain would start and I would be made to work again, but it didn't happen. They liked me, no one had ever liked me before, I was a freak and a good for nothing son of drunks. I had that said to me a lot, your father was a drunk and a no hoper, your mother was a whore. Do you know what it's like to be told as a child that you're responsible for your parent's deaths? Until Hagrid came to get me that day that's all I knew, I killed my parents and they were drunks, so I figured everything they did to me was my punishment, I deserved it for getting my parents killed, so I put up with it.

'I have never told anyone what I just told you, not even Hermione and Ron, but I wanted you to know all this so you would understand I was bullied, I wasn't brought up like some celebrity, nor was I spoiled. I have no idea how you grew up except that small glimpse I got that day and what my mother said in your memory. She was worried when she asked how everything was at home. I don't want to know, it's your business, it has nothing to do with me. But what I told you and what I believe about your childhood should tell you that we had very similar upbringings.

'Then you came here and my father bullied you because you were different, I get it, I get why you hate looking at me, not just because he married my mother, but what he did to you. So all I ask is if you think about what I told you before you decide if you want to leave or not. I want you to stay Severus, you deserve the life you want now, if it's teaching, then stay and teach, but don't leave just because you see a man you hate when you look at me. I am Harry, I am not James. I am not a bully, I hate bullies almost as much as I hate Voldemort. I want the impossible, I want everyone to get on, I want hate to disappear, which I know is impossible, but I still want it.' Harry knocked back his drink then stood but his back was to Severus, 'I want my mother to know her best friend is someone that deserves a good life, it's time to let go of the past and look to the future,' Harry walked away from Severus and straight into his private rooms. He did see a small shift in the hard features on Severus Snape's face, so Harry thought maybe he will just think about all that Harry revealed. It was time to put the past to rest and take this school into the future, not just for the students but for the staff as well. He hoped Severus was one of them.

A few days later all the staff of Hogwarts were in the library watching a man set up all the computers, then he demonstrated how easy it was to access the information. He removed a book from the shelf and again demonstrated how the orb worked; Irma was surprised at how fast the entire book ended up being put on the computer. Finally she gave Harry a smile and he knew why, her precise books would now be safe from sticky fingers, accidents and just students not being careful. Children did not understand that some of these books were as old as their world, they did not know to be careful. Now, it won't matter as they can access the information on the computer.

As all the staff left the library, Harry was heading back to his office when Severus stepped up beside him.

'I'm staying and even though this is hard to say, I am sorry. I mistreated you and misjudged you. When I looked at you, all I saw was your father, I did not see you.'

'I'm glad you're staying Severus, the students need good teachers. But thank you and even though we might never be friends, I do respect you and I can say with absolute confidence that my mother would be proud of her friend,' Harry saw Severus nod, but he did give a very small smile before walking off which made Harry smile, 'Maybe we might end up friendly at least and if that happened, it was a step forward.'