Underneath The Surface Chapter 17
Underneath The Surface - Chapter 17
Dark Clouds
It took some time, but eventually, Emma convinced Regina to walk with her to the library. Regina was quiet, she was too busy berating herself for presumptuousness to carry on any kind of conversation.
"I never really stayed in one place long enough to get a library card, so I never had the chance to really enjoy them, you know?" Emma was prattling on beside Regina as they walked. "I enjoy reading, I do, it's just that..."
"Emma, what if I've upset Patty and she doesn't want us there any more?" Regina asked quietly.
Emma sighed before answering. "Regina, I didn't see any sign of her being upset. Actually, she seemed kind of ... interested in what you were saying. I don't think you have to worry about that. I got the impression that she was kind of grateful someone was trying to help. You know raising a kid alone isn't easy."
Regina was silent, but nodded in agreement as she wove her arm through Emma's.
They walked in silence the rest of the way to the library. Emma wondering what it might have been like to raise Henry alone and Regina lost in memories of sleepless nights worrying about a fever or walking the floor with a teething toddler.
When they got to the library, they stood for a minute on the sidewalk outside and gazed at the building. It was constructed of large brown and grey fieldstone, with a built-in porch, wide doorways and multiple windows. Every doorway and window was topped by a stone arch and the roof was grey slate, set at a pitch that was dizzying, even from the street. In the sun it seemed a warm and welcoming building. With a smile and a tug on Emma's arm, Regina led the way up to the building and through the door. They made their way into a foyer that took up a quarter of the main floor, and Regina stepped up to a desk set off to the side. On the front of the desk hung a hand carved sign that read 'librarian'. A young woman with shoulder length red hair looked up and smiled.
"Good afternoon." Regina gave the young woman a small smile. "We're new in town and we'd like to procure a library card."
"Of course, names?"
"I am Regina Mills," Regina had to reach back and tug Emma forward. "And this is Emma Swan."
"Oh! Charlie's friends!" The young woman exclaimed. "She called just a little while ago and set it all up. I have both your cards right here!"
Regina glanced to Emma in confusion and then back to the red-head. "You don't need proof of who we are?"
"No, Ma'am. Charlie said you're friends of hers, that you were both to be treated as special guests of the library. My name is Julia. If you need anything, I'll be glad to help you." Julia smiled as she handed Regina hers, and then passed Emma's card over.
Emma took her card with a stunned expression. She hadn't really expected to get one, and not without some sort of wait. Granted, she wasn't familiar with the procedure this kind of thing accompanied but still...
"Thank you." Regina turned her attention to the foyer, but still spoke to Julia. "I think we'll just wander and become acquainted with the building."
"Yes, Ma'am." Julia then turned a bright smile on Emma. "Welcome to the Desperation Lake library."
Emma followed behind Regina, unsure if all libraries were set up the same. She could see there were a few aisles created by long shelving units arranged throughout the main floor, and on each end of the shelves were numbers.
"Regina!" Emma whispered.
Regina turned back to face her.
"I'm lost in here," Emma whispered. "What do these numbers mean?"
"The numbers help organize the library materials so that everyone can find them. It's a standard system. The numbers on the end of the aisles will help us find where we should be looking for certain subjects." Regina replied quietly.
"All right, where do we find the information that will help us get back?" Emma asked with her voice barely loud enough to be heard.
"While the organizational system is standard, libraries are all laid out differently. As I said before, we'll explore a bit and see how things are arranged and get a better idea where different topics will be found. Agreed?"
Emma had heard that tone before, usually in town council meetings. It was the tone of a leader, and right now it soothed her nerves. She nodded and let Regina precede her.
As they wandered through the aisles, Emma saw books on a wider variety of topics than she expected. They passed by biographies, computer manuals, atlases, books on constellations, inventions, quilting, sewing, history books, foreign language dictionaries and plans for farm buildings. She saw books on how to raise livestock, books on music and theater, as well as books on a variety of artistic techniques, and it was here that Regina stopped. She studied the spines of the books, reached and took one down and flipped through it quickly.
She passed it to Emma with a small smile. "What do you think?"
Emma looked through the book carefully and nodded. "I think it's perfect."
Regina nodded and smiled and stepped away again.
Emma watched the shelves carefully and saw books on solar power, water systems, infrastructure, and engineering. There was information on geography, the environment and sports. When they had gone down all the aisles on the main floor, Regina led them to a wide staircase and started up the stairs. At the top they found themselves in another hallway. Off the hallway were rooms that housed even more books, a few computers, even a collection of music and magazines. In every room were chairs scattered around so library patrons could sit down and read at their leisure. One of these rooms had a large window that let the sunshine in. Regina had just decided this was her favorite room when she began to see titles that hinted they may have found what they were looking for. She removed a book on spells from the shelf and flipped to the table of contents. She scanned it quickly and concluded it had potential. As Emma stepped up beside her, Regina handed her the book to look at.
No sooner had Emma taken it than Regina's gaze fell on a book titled Obscure Potions. As she thumbed through it's pages, Emma was doing the same with the book on spells and nodding.
"I think this one might be useful, Regina." Emma said in a hushed voice.
Regina nodded in agreement. "This one as well. Shall we take a look at the rest of the library?"
Emma nodded and they continued their exploration.
In an unoccupied room, they began to see titles on parenting, special needs issues, discipline and child abuse.
Regina stopped and put a hand on Emma's arm. "You may not want to see what's in this section, Dear. If you want to sit down or explore a different part of the library, I understand."
Emma was confused, the last book she had read the spine of was on nutrition and special needs children. But Regina was trying to block her view of a section just past the dark haired woman's shoulder. With a furrowed brow, Emma tilted her head. "What are you talking about, Regina? Let's keep going."
Regina sighed and said quietly, "Very well, but you always have the option of turning back."
They had only taken a couple of steps when Emma's eye fell on a book at the end of a shelf. Because of it's position, she could see the entire cover. The cover was nearly black, and against the darkness stood a person in a blood red robe. All the little hairs on the back of Emma's neck stood up and goose-bumps rose quickly on her arms. Without meaning to, she reached out and pulled the book from the shelf. When she read the title, she gasped.
Regina turned back at the sound. "Emma?" Her gaze fell to the title of the book in Emma's hands and she immediately understood.
Survivors of Ritual Abuse and Their Healing
"Regina..." Emma's voice fell to a whisper. "This is ... this what they were wearing when..."
"If you want to leave, Emma, we can do that. You don't need to..."
"No, I ..." She drew in a breath that hitched and opened the book at the table of contents. Her eyes scanned down the page until something made her stop. Regina watched her carefully, unsure if she should insist they leave the book behind them. Instead, she stepped to Emma's side and put an arm around her waist. Emma had flipped to a page and was reading silently. Her right hand came up to cover her mouth and Regina looked down to see what had so obviously upset Emma. Her heart plummeted as she read,
Signs You May Have Been A Victim of Ritual Abuse
disassociation
eating disorders
trouble sleeping
nightmares
Emma snapped the book shut and leaned against Regina. "I can't read any more. I want to, but...I just can't." She whispered.
"I know." Regina said quietly. "We have enough for now, why don't we leave the rest of the library for another day, all right?" She rubbed circles on Emma's back and hoped she could get her to agree to go back to the bed & breakfast. "Nothing says we have to see the whole building today, dear. Let's go back to our room, maybe just take a small rest."
Emma put the book back on the shelf, sighed jaggedly and stepped away from the shelves.
Regina missed the closeness instantly.
Checking out was blessedly simple and without much conversation. Regina picked up the three books and allowed Emma to hold the door for her. Once they had stepped back outside into the sunshine, Emma turned to Regina with red eyes. "Can you find your way back? I'm really sorry...I need to run...I..."
Regina could see the struggle going on in Emma's eyes. "Of course, dear." Regina reached out and rubbed Emma's arm in reassurance. "I'll be fine. You go do what you need to."
Emma tried to smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. She nodded and turned away quickly. She glanced up the street, saw no traffic and sprinted off.
Regina sighed. She wanted so badly to take Emma's pain from her, and if they had been back in Storybrooke, she might have seriously considered it. But they were here, and all the former Queen could do was try to be supportive. As she strolled slowly back to the bed & breakfast, she pondered checking out a book from the library that might help. She shook her head when she realized that a year ago she would have had an entirely different reaction to the blonde woman's pain. But she and Emma had come a long way, and not just geographically. They had opened up and begun to help each other heal.
Regina was across the road from the Sneezing Moose when she became aware of the sound of an axe splitting wood. The loud crack echoed slightly off the building, and she stopped to listen. She tilted her head ever so slightly and began to suspect that a run back from the library had not been enough for Emma. Regina crossed the street as she took note that the chopping had gotten slightly faster, and as she reached out to open the door to the diner, the reflection of dark clouds in the glass made her glance up at the sky. Inside, she sat in the booth they had occupied at lunch, facing the street. Charlie saw her, held up the coffee pot and Regina nodded.
Setting the books beside her on the seat, Regina smiled as Charlie came to the table with a steaming mug. "Thank you for calling the library on our behalf. That was very kind of you."
Charlie gestured. "It was no trouble. Sounds like Emma's back at it."
"Yes." Regina was unsure what to offer as an explanation.
"Looks like she won't be at it long with those clouds out there." Charlie jerked a thumb towards the street.
Regina glanced outside and was alarmed to see the wind had picked up and the clouds had taken on a threatening hue. "Charlie, could I get a bottle of water for Emma, please?"
The diner owner smiled, reached into her apron pocket and slid the requested item across the table. "I was going to take one out to her when you came in."
"Thank you. I'll be right back, can I leave these things here?"
"Sure thing, your coat and books are safe. I'll watch them. Just down that hall back there and left."
As Charlie made her way back behind the counter, Regina made her way out back. As she stepped outside, she glanced at the sky and found the clouds overhead darker than those out front.
Emma had her back to the door and had already laid her jacket aside. Her sleeveless
t-shirt allowed Regina to see the play of shoulder muscles as Emma raised the axe and slammed it down into another chunk of wood.
She bent quickly and brought another piece up to the stump, set it, and raised the axe once more before bringing it down with enough force to send the resulting splits skittering away.
Regina watched until she felt a chilling wind dance across her skin. Emma hadn't noticed her there yet. She was focused on the rhythm of her actions.
Bend, lift a log to the stump, raise the axe, slam it down.
Bend, raise, slam.
Regina watched the back of Emma's shirt darken as she worked herself into a sweat, and when she saw a dark cloud begin to form a small funnel off in the distance, she spoke up.
"Emma! You've got to stop, do you hear me?"
The blonde showed no sign that she'd heard.
Regina stepped around to the side, but stayed well out of harm's way. She called out again once she was sure she could be seen. "Emma?"
The wood chopping did not slow and the cloud darkened.
Regina took a few brave steps forward and tried to lower her voice, not wanting anyone else to hear. "Emma, listen to me, you have to stop this now. Look at me, look up, Emma."
The blonde's swing begin to slow, and finally, when she had buried the axe-head in the stump, Regina rushed forward.
"Emma, listen to me. You have to stop now."
The sheriff of Storybrooke was drenched and exhausted and staring at the stump.
Regina reached out and laid her hand gently on the side of Emma's face. "It's all right now, dear, you're all right. But you have to stop, do you hear me? Look up."
As Emma stood there, panting, her eyes slid to Regina's face. Regina pointed up with one finger, and watched the expression on her girlfriend's face change to alarm. "Do you understand now, Emma?" Regina's voice was quiet and gentle. "You need to breathe slower and calm down before that little funnel blossoms into a tornado." Regina stepped back and handed her the bottle of water.
Emma accepted the bottle, and let out a long sigh as she twisted the cap off. By the time she lifted the bottle to her lips, the funnel cloud had dissipated.
"Come inside with me now. We'll have a slice of pie and pretend you didn't change the weather, okay?"
Emma swallowed a mouthful of water, nodded and returned the axe to the steps. By the time she returned to the stump, Regina had picked up her leather jacket. Together they went back into the diner. Emma let Regina slide into the booth and then settled beside her. When Charlie came back, Regina ordered two slices of pie and coffee and took Emma's still-shaking hand under the table.
TBC