... previously ...

Headache and Heartache

I was suddenly aware of my situation; still with one hand held out ready to open the door and my head now pounding with both the headache and the latest mad revelations. I couldn't face the pair now, my acting skills were not that good and I honestly couldn't cope with hearing anything else. Slowly, quietly, I backed away from the door. Once I'd taken seven slow steps, I turned tail and ran around the nearest corner. ~

~ I heard Gaius' door creak open and Merlin strode lazily towards me. I took a deep breath, got into what I had been recently calling 'Morgana Mode,' but I suppose was now 'Magic Mode,' and turned to face the self proclaimed greatest sorcerer of all time.

'Gah! So you tell us what's gonna happen or what?' [Kitty O]

Obviously

"Oh, hello, Gwen," Merlin said casually as he strode towards me. I blinked in surprise at how much his tone of voice had changed in the last few moments; his usual wide smile showing no sign of the stress and frustration I had just heard when I'd eavesdropped on his recent conversation with Gaius.

"M-merlin, I ... ah, how are you?" He stopped his progress then and turned to me; his eyes calm but his eyebrows knitted together in a slight frown. I was unable to prevent myself from flinching as I remembered exactly what he was – what he was capable of doing.

"Gwen, are you alright? You look very pale."

"Ah, yes ... I ... it's just that I ... have a headache and, well, I was just coming to see Gaius ..." He continued to look at me with that slightly bemused expression. "Well ... for a headache cure, ah ... obviously."

"Of course but, he's about to leave on his rounds and ... well, why don't you come back in with me then? I know the remedy." For a moment I forgot about the mad revelation and looked at my friend sceptically. "Hey ... be nice. I'm getting quite good now – Gaius said so," he responded defensively.

"What I actually said was that you weren't entirely useless." I jumped as the old man walked past us heading the other way up the corridor, his distinctive, round medicine bag looped over shoulder.

"Gwen's got a headache ... shall I?" Merlin asked with a small grin at his mentor.

"I suppose I can trust you with that," Gaius said in a tone of voice that sounded sceptical, although the affection behind it was obvious. Merlin turned back to me with a delighted smile.

"Honestly, Merlin, why do you look like you've just been complimented?" I asked in an exasperated tone. "Neither Gaius nor Arthur know how to say 'thank you' or 'well done', do they?"

"Gaius does ... sometimes," he replied with a shrug. We entered the physician's chambers and Merlin let me go through first, pulling the door violently closed behind him. It gave a sharp rap as it shut before bouncing straight back open and finally squeaking to a position half way between – just as it had been when I had overheard the earlier conversation. Merlin glared at it, as if it had insulted him somehow, before quickly moving to a shelf full of bottles and moving a few of them around until he found the one that he wanted. "Here it is ..." He poured a small portion into a tiny glass and handed it to me. I couldn't help it, the second he came close I flinched again and then coloured as I noticed the confusion on his face.

"I-I'm sorry it's just that ..."

"Gwen, what is it – really? You're so jumpy today."

"Nothing, I'm fine ... honestly, it's not as if I'm scared of ... anything or ..."

"Gwen ... has someone hurt or upset you?"

"No ... nothing like that ... not really."

"Is it Arthur? Because, believe me, prince or not, if he's upset you I'll ... I'll ..."

"No!" I said it rather sharply, suddenly worried about what a sorcerer might be able to do to Arthur but, after a moment of shock at my outburst, Merlin laughed brightly.

"Relax, Gwen, what could I do to him? Honestly?" I stared at him in disbelief, my imagination now running wild, before quickly downing the potion in one gulp. "Not that I don't secretly dream of getting my own back on him sometimes," Merlin continued, his relaxed smile now firmly back in place.

"Y-you do?"

"Of course. I mean ... wouldn't it be fun? I could ... get him to muck out the stables ..."

"... put him in the stocks," I continued, suddenly relaxing into our old, comfortable relationship.

"... swing a mace at him for a change ..."

"... get him to tidy your room ..."

"... throw things at him ..."

"Turn him into a toad ..."

"What?"

"Well, no ... I didn't mean that. Obviously you couldn't do that. I mean ... not unless you were a ... and obviously you're not because ... well, I'm sure you wouldn't do that sort of thing even if you were, but ..."

"Gwen ... " I looked up at him and noticed the sudden look of fear on his face. I imagine that my expression was much the same. Then he looked down at the bottle in his hands, as if remembering my earlier reaction, before quickly moving towards me in order to take the empty glass from my hands. Despite my very best intentions I flinched again and his eyes widened further and his face paled – if such a thing was possible with his complexion. "Y-you're scared of me you ..." He looked back at the half open door and slowly started to put everything together. "Did you ...?"

"Merlin ... I just came over for ... that ..." I pointed at the bottle, "and I didn't mean to ... but I couldn't help it and ..."

"D-did you hear what Gaius and I were talking about earlier about Morgana and ...?"

"... and about you. Y-yes."

"Gwen, I'm sorry but ... you really don't need to be afraid of me. I would never do anything to hurt you or Arthur, you must know that."

"I-I suppose ..."

"No, don't suppose ... believe it." He crouched down so our eyes were level. "Gwen, look at me." I did and I saw the Merlin I'd always know; his large, blue eyes pleading for my understanding. "I care for you ... for you, Arthur and Gaius, and I will do anything to keep you three safe ..." He winced then. "I already have done and risked so much for you all. I give you my word ... whatever it takes." He swallowed hard and moved with me as I tried to turn my head away from those eyes. How could I possibly think straight when he looked at me like that? "What can I do to convince you that I am not evil," he continued. "That I have only ever – will only ever - use my gifts for good?"

"I think I already know that," I said cautiously. "I think perhaps I just need a little time to come to terms with everything."

"Time. Well, of course you do ... sorry."

"It's just ... well, it's a shock ... obviously."

"Obviously."

A/N The big problem with these last couple of fics is that chapter 10 of The Eyes To See is already an extension/sequel to chapter 9. So ... how to do an extension/sequel to the extension/sequel? You see the problem? In the end I went with a drabble from Gwen's pov for 9 and a true sequel to Ch 9 & 10 of TETS + Ch 9 of THTK. Confused? So was I! I've a few more of those 'problem' sequel chapters coming up and am still keen to get your feedback on them. I'm really hoping to get back in the writing mood soon as I've only one more lined up after this - hence the delay in getting this chapter out - I don't want to leave you hanging and so am trying to spread things out until the plotbunnies come back from their Easter Holiday!

Ah ... now, the next chapter is number 11 ... the sequel to ... A Letter To Arthur. That was the one that really got me interesting in writing this reaction fic in the first place. A reaction to that letter? Fun, fun, fun!