XYK
Chapter 35- "1988"
Despite Lois's best efforts- Lucille Roxanne Lane had entered the world on a humid night in the summer of 1988; she had been small, scared but incredibly strong. And now she was a breathtakingly gorgeous 21 year old living and modelling all over the world.
"She doesn't know, does she?" Clark took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.
"No."
"Are you ever gonna tell her?"
"No."
"Don't you think she has a right to know?"
"No."
"No?" Asked Clark incredulously.
"Don't Judge me Clark!"
"I'm not judging you Lois."
"She is Samuel and Roxanne Lane's daughter, not mine."
"And you're ok with that?"
"I've had to be!" Lois snapped.
Lois immediately felt bad for snapping at Clark but let a silence settle over them. Lois pulled her knees up towards her chest, she suddenly felt exposed, naked and vulnerable. She had never said any of this to anybody, not even Chloe. Instead the whole family had buried the truth and built a fortress over it. "You don't understand Clark."
Clark turned to Lois "Then explain it to me."
"I was a kid. I didn't know the first thing about raising a baby. My parents wanted me to continue being a kid, so they told everyone my mother was pregnant and when Lucy was born I handed her over to them."
"That must have been hard." Clark said quietly.
Lois just shrugged and looked down at the ground. "It's amazing what you can get used to. The more you tell a lie, the more you start to believe it."
"So you told everyone that Lucy was your sister?"
"Clark..."Lois collected her thoughts "...when my parents found out I was pregnant, it almost killed my mother, quicker than any cancer could have done, but when she held Lucy in her arms for the first time it was like, like.."Lois searched for the right words. "...Like she had a reason to fight. They said my mother had a few months to live and because of Lucy she fought that cancer for four years."
Clark nodded.
"And when my mom finally couldn't fight anymore, Lucy gave The General purpose, a reason to shave, go to work, not drown himself in bottles of whisky. That's why they've always had such a special bond; I'd never take that away from them."
"But what about you?" Clark reached for Lois,who promptly sprang up as if she'd been scolded.
"What about me!?"she ran her bandaged hand through her hair "I'm fine Clark!"
"No you're haven't been 'fine' for 21 years."Clark firmly stated.
Lois clenched her teeth "So what do you suggest I do about it,huh? Tell Lucy the truth?Tell her that her whole existence is a lie?"
"If it helps you to heal." Clark leant forward.
Lois bit her lip and shook her head vehemently "NO!....I won't do 'll never forgive me.I know my sister...I mean my....I know ,No I won't tell her."Lois covered her face with her hands and started to sob.
Clark got up from the couch and went to flinched at the first touch of his embrace,she had half expected him to shake some sense into he grabbed hold of her body so tight that nearly all the air was squeezed out of her lungs.
"You are not"Lois heard him whisper into her ear " I repeat,Not going to get away from me this time."
Wisely Lois didn't even attempt didn't want in Clark's arms was where she it occurred to Lois that by holding her so tightly Clark was in a way protecting her from himself,redirecting all the pain and frustration he had felt in the last couple of months,into this possessive,deliciously numbing a good long while they stood rigidly both searching for inner calm,trying to process the evenings events.
Clark could feel Lois' tears begin to subside,her body seemed to give way and meld into his own.Don't kiss her,just don't kiss her,he told first,sugar ,he slowly began to gently wipe her tear stains away. "Lois Lane you amaze me." He stroked her cheek and removed the hair obscuring her eyes, "You are the bravest,strongest woman I know and I love you."
Lois met his eyes with her own amazed ones.
"What do you need right now?Absolutely anything...just say the word." Clark whispered adoringly down at the woman he loved.
"You."Lois slowly leant into him,and in a voice so wanton and fragile,she said "I need you right now.."
With that, Clark lost all resolve. He kissed her. There was no mistaking the message in their kiss. It was passionate yet gentle, angry but forgiving, extracting pain the deeper it went, leaving behind the delicious sensation of hope and a possible future.
A thunderous knock on the door forced them to spring apart. Clark looked down at Lois regretfully, grabbed his glasses and went to answer the door.
"This is so not cool." Lucy tutted as she entered the threshold of the apartment. She parked Durga's stroller next to the coat rack "Is my sister here?"
Clark nodded and tilted his head to indicate the living room. Clark let Lucy pass him but didn't follow, instead he leaned against the hallway wall, closed his eyes and breathed hard and deep. Once he opened his eyes he looked down at a sleeping Durga, who was wrapped up -nice and warm in her stroller. He smiled.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-
"Luce,go to Brazil!" Lois said. "I don't want you turning down work for me."
"Are you sure?" Lucy held Lois's hand "Cos' I can stay."
"No,Luce.I'm fine really." Lois smiled "Clark'll look after me."
Lucy beamed. "So you kids are finally getting your act together,huh?"
Lois smiled bashfully.
" plane leaves in two hours.I should go pack." Lucy jumped up.
Clark entered the living room just in time to see the two women hugging.
"I can come with you to the airport...just let me get myself together." Lois said straightening out her clothes.
"No,Lois." Lucy laughed "You've been through a lot tonight. I'm a big girl now, I can see myself to the airport."
"Ok- but please be careful and phone me as soon as you get to Brazil,and.."
"Lois! Would you chill, you're not my mother." Lucy laughed.
Lois paused and looked over at Clark who also seemed to pause . "No." Lois took a deep breath, "But I'm your big sister who won't see you again until Christmas."
"I love you Lo." Lucy embraced Lois. Then she turned to Clark, "Look after my girls."
Clark mustered a smile "I will."
Once Lucy had smothered Lois,Durga and Clark with kisses , bid them all goodbye and left, Lois and Clark stood looking at each other both so afraid of what might happen next.
Clark surmised that words would be ridiculous after tonight's events, too much talking and not enough action. So he walked over to Lois and took her by the hand. Silently he led her to the bedroom. He made it easier for her by not saying anything more. He simply undressed her slowly, gently removing her mental armour along with all her clothes. Then he gently laid her on the bed and prepared to join her there.
From her position on the bed Lois watched Clark undress and get just as naked as she. Unashamedly she marvelled at his absolute beauty, and wondered how she could have given him up. Suddenly the baby sprung to her mind.
"Durga? Lois asked, sitting up.
Clark smiled "She's fast asleep. She's fine. Relax."
Clark lay down next to Lois and pulled her close. He wanted to make love to her, but not now, not like this. Instead he cradled her and rubbed her back in rhythmic circles. Lois silently laid her head against Clarks chest and fell asleep to the beating of Clarks heart.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Lois came round to the smell of frying bacon and the sound of morning radio. Lois stretched out and smiled. Last night had been the first night in ages that she had been able to sleep without torment, fear or regret. She felt so unburdened and happy. Despite it being Fall,morning sun sifted through the bedroom blinds. Lois rolled over into the pillow and inhaled Clarks scent,then sat up and reached for his robe to cover up her nakedness. Lois wrapped it around herself,then got up to find her baby and her man.
A shirtless Clark was in the kitchen rocking a burbling Durga in one arm and sipping from a mug of coffee with his other hand. His eyes were fixed intently on a small stack of papers balanced against a jar in front of him so that he could read whilst multitasking.
"Good morning." Lois said, as she came up behind Clark and wrapped her arms around his torso. She laid a few butterfly kisses on his back. "What is that?" she asked ,trying to peek at the papers that had clearly stolen all of his attention.
Clark smiled and turned around.
"It's our decree absolute. "He handed Lois the baby and picked up the letter "As of today, we're officially divorced."
P.T.O.