I really am sorry about this delay. I actually wanted to post this on Sunday, but I kind of decided to completely re-write one of the later chapters, and I told myself I had to finish it before I posted anything (or else I'd wait until I forgot what exactly I wanted to change).

I've also discovered that I'm not the most prolific when writing in Jess's POV. It's pretty hard for me to get into an optimist's mindset. Seriously, I think entirely too much like Nick.

Finally, just to clarify - just because Nick knows, this story is far from over. Still lots to come! Enjoy!

Chapter 4

Jess woke up the next morning knowing that she should feel like the weight of the world was off of her shoulders.

Nick knows. He did freak out. He didn't run out screaming.

She knew that she should be relieved about this. As she got her and Aly dressed and ready for the day, she also knew that she still shouldn't feel the gut-wrenching guilt that had pulled at her every day for nearly four years. Her heart should be free and clear, because for once she did the right thing. Her conscious should be completely clear.

The problem was… It wasn't.

The look on his face the previous night, as he had taken in some of Aly's pictures, was so venerable, so full of regret, that it startled her. Knocked her off balance, in a way. She could see the ache, the longing that four years of missing out had caused. That she caused.

Throughout the day, no matter how hard she tried, she just could not find another reason to justify her actions. She had gone off of sheer maternal instinct the night she left. She had thought for so long she was just doing what was best for her daughter, but what happens when that gut feeling could be wrong?

Heart-aching guilt, that's what.

She got a call halfway through the day that Aly was running a fever. She considered calling Nick – after all, this was supposed to be the perk of having a second parent around – but the principal was understanding, even though her entire purpose for the rest of the year was filling in for another teacher on maternity leave.

Maybe she wasn't willing to give Aly up just yet… Not when she's sick. She wasn't a science experiment.

Turns out, it was a good call.

"Momma, I'm sick," were the first words her toddler had grumbled on the way home, plastic bucket in hand. She hadn't actually emptied the contents of her stomach yet, but Jess knew when her kid was sick and this was definitely what she had suspected the night before.

"I know, sweetheart," she replied from the front, doing her best to mask the anxiety that this would add to the coming days. There didn't seem like there would be any room in between Pepto and saltine crackers for one Nick Miller.

She would just have to worry about that later.

For right now, her daughter was sick, and she needed no one else but her mother to make everything all better.

"Nick, we need to talk about this."

He hadn't even been in the door fifteen seconds. Julia sat at the table, her hair still pulled back from work, looking more like a lawyer than Nick was used to this late. Stacks of envelopes and legal pads were scatted ominously around her. He stopped dead in his tracks, trying to extend the time he had to think.

Julia hadn't been happy with him last night. Turns out, midnight was not a good time to get home after you'd told her that you were going out to dinner with an ex-girlfriend. His explanation that followed hadn't helped much, either.

"Look Julia," he said, after telling her about Aly, trying to hand her the pictures. Horrified, she bolted out of bed, throwing the one in her hands across the room.

"I don't believe it," she scoffed, oddly awake given the hour, and went to her desk to pull out some papers. "She's got you in on this?"

"In on what?" Nick asked, dumbfounded. He followed her to her desk, hoping that they could at least sleep on it.

"That after four years, she can show up with a kid that might be yours, and you're not skeptical enough to question it? Do you know how big these kind of deals are? There's a reason that people hire lawyers for custody battles!"

Her eyes were frantic, and Nick put her hand on hers to calm her down. She winced, putting the pen down.

"She's mine, Julia," he replied firmly.

"We'll see," Julia grumbled, leaning into him. It wasn't much of a comfort, but he would take it for now. "I'll do some research and we'll see tomorrow night."

Apparently, tomorrow night had meant 'right after Nick gets home from work.'

Looking back, that's probably what she meant. That didn't exactly mean that Nick was ready to deal with it again.

"Can you give me a few minutes?" He asked, feeling a cold absence slip into the space between them. She frowned, but relented anyway. He disappeared into the dim light of their room, pulling the pictures out of the nightstand and picking up his phone.

He knew that this wasn't the best idea with Julia mad at him in the kitchen, but he needed to do this.

There was something about dialing her number that comforted him, that made the weight of this colossal secret a little easier to bear, even though his family had been far from that growing up. The phone rang a few times before the sound of his mother's voice filled the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ma," he said softly. "Got a few minutes?"

"What is it Nick?" She asked, concern leaking from her voice. He wondered if she'd known something was wrong before she'd even picked up the phone.

"I, uh… I saw Jess last night," he began, realizing that he had no real plan on how he was going to tell his own mother about Aly.

"Oh," she sighed, tuning into comfort mode. "I'm so sorry, Nick, you know we all hurt when you – "

"She wasn't alone," he finished, and when his mom piped up to speak again, he spoke above it, trying to keep up the strength to tell her. "She has a three-year-old daughter. "

There was absolute silence on the other end. Nick wondered if she could hear the sound of his heart, jumping up into his throat. He certainly could her his mother's carefully controlled breathing, something she'd always done to calm down.

"Is she…" her voice cracked, knowing that the math added up just right.

"Yeah," Nick breathed. "Here…I'll send you something. Check your messages."

He clicked away on his phone at his pictures, sending the two to his mother that he had taken last night. There was more silence on the end of the line while she waited. Nick knew she had gotten them when he heard a small gasp.

"Nick…" she trailed, her tone a mixture of awe and concern. "She looks like you."

"Yeah," he agreed, almost smiling, "she does."

They were silent for a little longer, Nick cradling the phone to his ear. He sat against his bed, trying to ground himself again. His mother seemed to be gathering her own thoughts, while Nick just tried to keep his own breathing even.

"Her name is Allison," he finally eased, the name becoming easier to say. "She's named after…"

"Mom," she quipped, awestruck.

"She is," Nick nodded, although he knew his mother couldn't see it. "Her middle name is Cora, after Jess's grandmother. She goes by Aly. I… I think it's a great name. It was nice of Jess, you know?"

"Yes," his mother agreed. "But I can't say that I'm thrilled with her right now."

"Ma," Nick groaned, hoping that the wrath of his mother wasn't going to be on Jess, too. "I'm upset, too. But… what is there to say? She's here now."

"But why, Nick? Why now? Why did she leave?"

He sighed, frowning. "I'm still trying to figure that out."

His mother wasn't calming down. "Well, I can come down there and we can find out –"

"Ma!" He shook his head violently – as if he needed another angry female around him. "I called because Julia is already pissed and I just wanted someone to talk to, okay? I've still got to figure a lot out… But at least Jess came back, and I don't want to lose a kid I barely know."

"Well," she began, still not fully convinced, "Call me when you know more, and quit hiding from your…" She stopped. Julia had never been his mom's favorite person, even less than what Jess had been at first. "…whatever she is. Julia."

"Girlfriend," Nick replied, although that wasn't entirely true anymore. He just didn't have the backbone to tell his mom what she really was. There was only so much information his family could take in one day.

"Sure," she corrected. "I'll talk to you later, okay dear?"

"Will do."

"You going to be okay?"

He gulped. "I think. Love ya, mom."

He could hear the smile in her voice. "Keep me updated, send me more about her. I'll talk to you later."

They hung up, leaving Nick feeling better than he had a few minutes ago. It was far from over with her, but it was a good start. If he could convince his mother, surely he could convince Julia, too.

As it turns out, Julia was much harder to convince.

"Why don't you want to do this?" Julia asked, her expression etched with anger. They had been going in circles about her very first request for ten minutes now.

"Because I know she's mine!" Nick defended, holding onto what little confidence he had left of the situation.

"Then why are you so afraid to prove it?" she fired back, her stance not wavering. Of all the things she wanted him to do, forcing a DNA test of Aly was where he had to draw the line.

"I'm not afraid, Julia," he shook his head. "I'm sure."

She looked to the ground, visibly fighting an emotional battle. Nick moved to occupy the seat next to her, pulling her into him. She tried to shake him away, but he held on tight, not letting go. Finally, she relaxed into him and they sat there in silence.

Julia was the first to cave. "You still need to at least get your name on her paperwork."

"I will," he said, pulling at the zipper on his jacket, "but I'm kind of stuck on the edge here. I don't want to push them too far."

"You have to stand up for yourself," she leaned up, taking his hand and steadying it. "If you really want this, you need help. I've done a lot of these cases before."

"I'm not your client," Nick replied, hurt at her instance to make him take Jess to a lawyer. She dropped his hands and sighed.

"I'm not trying to make you my client," she glared at him. "I'm trying to protect you from what I know is coming."

"Which is?" He arched an eyebrow, trying to make her see how ridiculous this was.

"Have you ever heard of child support, Nick?" She shot back, angrily. "To a lawyer, you are nothing to her if your name is not on something official. Somewhere that says you've taken responsibility for her. And if you want to be a part of her life, you're supposed to be keeping track of it all. Emergency contacts, school records, her birth certificate!" Julia put her hands on his shoulders. "Jess could take her away from you because of that and leave you with nothing."

His eyes fell, and his heart sank with them. Reality was crashing down. There was a fire boiling up inside of him, imagining how Jess could string him along and still be able to just take her away. It made him flat out angry to think he would have to play by her rules if he wanted to stick around. He'd been out of the loop for nearly four years – he deserved something better than that.

"I've got to go," he stood up abruptly, Julia not far behind him.

"Where are you going?" She asked, trying to pull his arm back. "Don't do anything stupid!"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," he replied sarcastically, grabbing his jacket and keys. He left Julia standing in the center of the room, her hands on her hips, glaring at him as he shut the door.

Okay, so he knew better than to get in the car angry, but he needed to talk to Jess. He had a lot of questions that needed to be answered, a lot of things that needed to be said.

Great job, Miller. Running from one problem to another.

He was at her door in record time, after a drive that only added to his animosity. He tried not to make the knocks sound as frantic as he was, but it felt like it took years for doorknob to finally turn. The look on Jess's face when she answered the door didn't soothe the worries.

Her eyes were just as wide as they were last night, and he could hear the water running in another room. She was in a pair of pajamas that he didn't recognize. The flannel bottoms where there, but the top had been replaced with a fitted tank top, further defining the slight curve of her abdomen.

Four years ago, he would've really appreciated that.

"What are you doing here, Nick?" she hissed, snapping him out of the past.

"We need to talk."

"And you thought now was a great time to drop by unannounced?" She ran a hand through her hair, tucking a few loose strands behind her ear.

Before Nick could answer, though, there was a call from another room. "Momma! I think the bath water is done!"

Jess shook her head, and left him standing at the door while she disappeared into her apartment. He peered in, noticing a few new pictures hanging on the walls. Quietly, he entered, being careful to shut the door without giving Jess another heart attack.

He approached the wall, looking over a large collage frame above the couch.

There was an immediate absence that he noticed in the pictures. Aly was front and center, at various points in her life, and that alone made them great… but it was hard not to notice that her mother was nowhere to be seen.

He scanned further. There was Aly in Halloween costumes, a baby Aly wrapped tightly in a little pink blanket, Aly with her grandparents in front of a Christmas tree. A hand here and there was all that told Nick that Jess was there at all.

He could see some smaller frames sitting off to the side, and could only imagine that's what Jess had been doing with her time tonight. Some dolls sat nearby, and a box of crayons (in various stages of worn) lay open on the floor. One picture in the stack on the table, though, caught his eye.

Wow.

Carefully, he picked it up, and finally found her. It wasn't the best shot, and Jess's head was partially cut-off, but it was of Aly when she was possibly just a year old, putting her hands around a large pumpkin. Jess stood behind her, looking at the camera like the person taking the picture had said something funny.

The light was there. Not just in her eyes, but in her face, in her smile… She was radiant. That was the Jess he knew… the Jess that managed to change his life in so many ways. He didn't know where it had all gone as of late, but it was like the world had sucked it right out of her.

This, though… This made him think that it could still be inside of her.

"What in the world are you smiling at?"

He looked up, and a less-than-pleased Jess stood in front of him, the tank top now spotted with water.

"I… Uh…" He stammered, and then remembered he was supposed to be angry. She looked at him, waiting to continue. "Do you… Did you… Did you put my name on anything for Aly? Anything that says… who I am?"

She blinked, and then looked away, fighting his stare. Nick didn't need a verbal acknowledgement; he got his answer loud and clear. His body instantly tensed.

The spark was all that was needed to ignite the fuel he had built up on his conscious tonight.

"At least let me see her," he said through gritted teeth.

"Not while you're mad, no," she stiffened, like she was bracing herself to stop him.

He shook his head. "I'm going to damn well see her, Jess, you can't stop that anymore!"

"No!" Jess grabbed his arm, with surprising strength, and pulled him back. "I know you Nick, and whatever you're pissed off at, you need to get over before you see her. She's a child and I don't want her to see this part of us."

He saw something in Jess then, a fire that matched his own. She was still smaller than him, more delicate, but the look in her eyes was one of no mercy. If he hadn't remembered her as the heartbroken girl watching Dirty Dancing and making Lord of the Rings references back at the loft, he would've been terrified of her.

"Fine," he held up his hands in defeat. "For her, I'll do it." She settled down, crossing her arms over her chest.

"She's sick right now," Jess admitted, quieter. His ears perked, and his mouth went dry.

"Is… Is she okay?" He rubbed his neck, trying to block out the worry that replaced his original concerns. If the word sick didn't scare him so much, he would've been amazed at how little he seemed to care about his original concerns. It was just a piece of paper, anyway.

"She's going to be fine," Jess offered, nodding at his concern. "It's what I figured last night, then today she came home with a fever. She's not feeling that bad, and I gave her some medicine. She's in my room trying to sleep now."

"Oh," he replied softly, his face relaxing. "Is she going to feel better soon?"

Jess nodded. "We'll see. Lots of soup and crackers for now. Maybe the doctor tomorrow."

"Do you need my help?"

He hadn't intended for it to come out so blatantly, but the response seemed so natural.

"Not really," she shook her head. "We don't need you sick, and once she's better we can have you come over a few nights a week."

Although Nick was happy to hear he would, in fact, be coming back, he couldn't let Jess go like this. "We don't need you sick, either."

Jess laughed. Then, she scrunched her face in an attempt to look aggressive and said, "I'm her mother, I have an immune system of steel."

She was back.

And just like that, it was like nothing had changed between them. They laughed together, finally making the delicate balance of their relationship just a little bit easier to navigate. Before they could get too loud, though, he heard Jess's stomach growl.

She looked up, embarrassed.

"Do you want me to go get you something to eat?" Nick asked, holding up his keys.

She shook her head, but then it growled again.

"C'mon," Nick laughed. "Even Clark Kent has to eat."

"I've got animal crackers and a bowl of Easy Mac," she objected.

As soon as she said that, though, Nick was out the door and on his way to get something that did not scream 'I have a toddler in the house.' She'd spent nearly four years working to take care of someone else. The least he could do was take care of her when she needed it this time.

Let me know what you think - good, bad, and in-between. I know transition chapters aren't always the most interesting... But I try!