I Hated That I Let You Down

-January 20, 2014; Dayton, Ohio-

There was only so many ways you could greet people. Tessa had exhausted all of them by 11am because she had been through three airports and on two planes. And she'd landed in Dayton, Ohio – a place that she'd never really enjoyed being. There was no way to describe it but Ohio didn't sit right with her.

"Look at you all dressed up," Nikki said as she elbowed Tessa. "Trying to impress someone?"

"Everyone I work with," Tessa deadpanned. "But I'm about three flights away from wearing sweatpants. Or I'm going to get really good at changing in airport bathrooms."

Tessa liked to dress up, that wasn't a secret, but in winter it was difficult. The many layers necessary to keep from freezing meant a restricted level of movement that was a pain in the neck when flying. Even wearing a dress became laborious – she had taken to wearing camisoles underneath but they bunched up at the most awkward times and her thickest pair of tights may have kept her legs warm enough but they had a habit of twisting uncomfortably.

"I want your boots." Brie dropped into step beside Tessa. "I think I just want your wardrobe, to be honest."

"We should take her shopping with us."

"Oh, definitely!"

As usual, Tessa let the twins speak around her, not much caring that they were talking about her. Shopping was a harmless topic and infinitely than the conversation they had a week prior. She listened as Brie and Nikki planned a shopping trip for when Tessa was on the road constantly – it was only a week away, after all.

"Are you on the main card tonight?" Tessa asked, breaking the short silence that had settled over them.

"Nope, not tonight," Brie answered with a small frown. "It sucks but Total Divas is still filming and everything."

Tessa groaned, "Don't remind me."

"It's not bad at all, half the stuff that happens isn't even real and what is real is dramatised."

"I know," Tessa assured Nikki. "I'm just not interested."

It was let go as the trio made their way to the Divas locker room. Tessa didn't stay any longer than she had to, only putting her bags down, because AJ and Natalie had stopped talking the second she entered. It was becoming clearer every week that AJ was not looking forward to working with Tessa but the feeling was definitely moving towards mutual.

The backstage halls of the Nutter Centre were as busy as always with people running around chaotically trying to put the final touches on the shows set up. It was necessary to manoeuvre out of the way if someone came barrelling towards you at full speed – the production team never stopped for anyone so close to the beginning of Superstars.

-Live on Raw-

Tia had walked onto the ramp just as the match had began – exactly like the week before – she watched the tag team match intently, applauding the efforts of all the Divas. She winced slightly when Tamina ran at Naomi with the big boot, sending the Funkadactyl to the ground.

AJ was tagged in. In a pre-victory celebration, she skipped around the ring with a twisted smile. Briefly she stopped to look at Tia, a 'what do you want?' look that no one could have missed. It was during this time, though, that Naomi was able to recover. AJ was rolled up, letting Naomi gain the pin fall and the win.

As quickly as possible, The Funkadactyls exited the ring. Nobody wanted to be in the ring with an angry AJ. As they exited, Tamina rolled in to check on her friend.

The winners made their way up the ramp towards a smiling Tia. She applauded them as they passed her, earning smiles from both of them. They both nodded slowly at her as they supported each other through the curtain.

AJ and Tamina made their way up angrily, AJ thrashing around, talking to herself while Tamina had on her most brooding face.

"What are you looking at?" AJ seethed at Tia.

"Bad luck," Tia responded sincerely causing the champion to growl at her.

Tia stood back as AJ and her protector disappeared behind the curtain, she turned to the crowd and shrugged at them.

"She's not very friendly, is she?"

-Off Air-

Almost as soon as she was out of Gorilla, Tessa was called to the music truck. She knew the reason behind the meeting and she couldn't help but smile and walk at a quicker pace.
WWE's music producer Jim Johnston had been working on her entrance music from the second she'd been signed. He was waiting for her in Connecticut so he could immediately get a feel for her and her new character.

"Tessa! I have something for you!" The immediate greeting was enthusiastic and Tessa jumped up the steps into the truck. "Do you know the band Imagine Dragons?"

"They have that one song... It's Time, right? It did pretty well in Japan," Tessa stated, trying to play the song through in her head.

"We managed to get them on board to record your music," Jim revealed causing Tessa to beam enthusiastically.

"That's great! I liked that song, it was fun."

Jim smile at her gratefully, "That's good to know. Take this and have a listen, we've named it Curse."

Reaching out to take the iPod from Jim, Tessa was definitely intrigued by the name.
The song played through once, Tessa getting a feel for the music - she enjoyed the beat and the guitar riffs greatly - and then again so she could listen to the lyrics properly.

"This isn't by any chance based off my life?" The question was hesitant but it had to be asked. The lyrics, to her at least, were that of a girl who fell in love all too easily and had a habit of running.

Jim smiled meekly, "It may have provided some inspiration but we gave it a new twist. To give the fans a reason to believe that you might fall for them, too. That you're attainable even if you don't know who they are."

Tessa understood immediately, "I'm the new girl next door."

"Exactly. The idea is to start it at the end of the chorus, to have 'she barely knew your name' play and then just the music while you walk to the ring."

"I love it," she admitted honestly, putting the iPod back on the table. "I'm going to need a copy of that. So I can listen to it on repeat and practice my entrance."

Jim nodded, "I'll find you a USB. You can have it for free – it's your song after all."

Naomi, earlier in the night, had promised Tessa a ride to Grand Rapids. Naomi and her boyfriend – Jey or Jimmy, Tessa was always forgetting – drove with Cameron regularly given the Divas' close friendship, and they had no problem with Tessa tagging along for the trip.

Except that Naomi had completely forgotten that she'd promised to drive Tessa to the next city and was long gone by the time she made it out of the arena.

Tessa dropped down onto her suitcase outside the arena, ignoring the looks from the equipment crew and the few straggling fans. She only had one choice: take a taxi to the airport and pray for a redeye flight. It was going to cost her a lot more than she wanted to spend but everyone had already left.

"Jacobs!"

She looked up from her phone, seconds away from calling for a taxi, but couldn't see the owner of the voice. She knew who it was – that voice was unmistakable – and she looked around, her hair whipping around her face as she did.

"Ambrose?"

"What are you doing?" She saw a car door open and Jon stepped out, resting one arm on the roof and the other on the door.

"Calling a taxi," she answered, holding up her phone.

"Get in the car," he ordered casually moving to get back in the car.

"No, it's fine."

"Get in the fucking car, Tessa. I'm not saying it again." He got back into the car and slammed the door behind him.

Tessa stood up and lugged her suitcases over to the car. The trunk popped open and she heaved them inside. She was struggling with her larger one and Jon must've noticed because he got out to help, effectively pushing her out of the way.

"Don't swear at me," she scolded him when her last bag was put away.

"Don't argue with me, then."

He pointed to the left side of the car, telling her that was where she had to sit. It clicked in her mind at that point that Colby was also in the car.

"Jon, I can't-"

"What'd I say about arguing?"

Tessa nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat. She pulled the door open and slid into the car without looking to the other sit. She kept her eyes trained on the back of Joe's head. She could feel a set of eyes on her.

In exasperation she sighed and leaned back into her seat, "I was fine."

"Yeah, catch a taxi. It'll cost you a grand." Jon said as Joe pulled out of the hotel.

"I was gonna get on a plane," Tessa tried to explain but it fell on deaf ears. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Seth looking at her curiously. Slowly she said, "he wouldn't have taken no for an answer."

"I know."

Tessa had fallen asleep about an hour into the trip, the rigorous travel schedule was finally catching up to her and she could have slept for hours but she woke up to the sound of Jon and Joe talking to each other in the front seat.

"Five years in Japan?" Joe asked trying to be quiet

"Yeah, she couldn't get any work out here for awhile."

Tessa felt a lump rise into her throat instantly; she knew what they were discussing.

"Why's that?"

"Man, that's not a story I can tell you." Despite just how bad her legs felt, she stopped herself from stretching. She didn't want to alert either man to the fact that she was awake, going as far as to keep her eyes closed.

"Colby didn't seem too happy that she was coming with us," Joe pushed causing Jon to slam a hand on the wheel. Tessa opened her eyes slightly, watching Joe's face contort as he tried to think of a reason.

"Alright, you're being a nosy prick. What I'm telling you almost everyone knows and I'm surprised you don't. Tessa was dating Generico for two years or something but come the end of 2008 Gabe Sapolsky – the head booker at ROH – says that he was sleeping with her."

The short, bittersweet version was exactly that and Tessa bit into the inside of her mouth – both to stop from saying something and to stop herself from crying.

"No way," Joe said in absolute disbelief looking at Jon trying to gauge his reaction. "Tessa?"

"That's not even the kicker," Jon checked over his shoulder to make sure both people in the back were still sleeping. Tessa quickly closed her eyes, pretending to still be asleep. Her heartbeat had quickened considerably and she knew she was definitely about to cry – her lip had started to quiver.

"There's more?"

"So, naturally Generico was ready to take it to Gabe... Only thing is, Colby got there before him. It was worked out that she'd been cheating on Generico with Gabe and that idiot," he gestured behind him to Colby who was still fast asleep.

"Hey Jon?" Tessa asked quietly, finally deciding to speak up. She could feel the lump in her throat getting bigger and bigger, her stomach was churning.

"Yeah?" He asked somewhat worried that she had heard what he told Joe. He played it cool.

"Can you pull over for a minute?"

"Sure," he did as she asked and as soon as he had stopped the car she had unbuckled her seatbelt, opened the door and left the car. With the door wide open, he could hear her dry-retching on the side of the road.

"I take it she doesn't like to be reminded of it."

"No one would hire her after that," Jon continued. He'd already done the damage; he figured he might as well let Joe know the whole story.

"Because of that?"

"The blow up. No one would work on the same card as her. Gabe left ROH and Full Impact Pro because of the backlash. Tessa got an offer in Japan and she took it."

"How do you know all this?"

"I'm friends with her brother – who she hasn't spoken to since it happened." He added with a sigh, before calling out loudly to her, "You okay out there, Jacobs?"

"Just give me a moment." She called back before actually vomiting onto the grass.

"Japan was good for her, have you ever seen her wrestle?"

"I don't think so," Joe responded, looking out to Tessa and grimacing. She was crouched down with one hand on a knee and the other keeping her hair out of her face.

"She was trained by Punk at Ring of Honor. Darcy was trained there too... And you know how Darcy's sort of just brutal?" Joe nodded. "Tessa's the most graceful person I think I've ever seen in the ring. Punk wanted her to wrestle well, didn't want her getting by on her looks. She's got finesse."

"I'll watch out for it next time."

Tessa reached into the car to grab a water bottle so she could rinse her mouth out. She had heard everything Jon had said after she left the car because had hadn't been quiet about it.

"We probably shouldn't talk so loud," Joe suggested, watching Colby stir in the backseat.

"He'll sleep through anything, I wouldn't worry." Tessa, as she climbed back into the car, looked to Colby who was still very much asleep, just changing his position. She'd been on many car trips with him and knew that he could sleep through even the loudest music. "Did you want me to drive for a bit, Jon?"

"Why did you let her drive?" Colby asked the second he woke up, half an hour had passed, whacking Jon across the chest with the back of his hand.

"She offered," Jon shrugged, whacking him back. Tessa looked back over her shoulder briefly.

"She can't d-"

"I got my license a couple years ago, calm down."

"You actually got your license?" He asks in disbelief, leaning forward to speak to her better.

"I kind of lost everyone who could drive me and taxis were getting expensive," Tessa explained. "I got it in Japan, believe it or not. International license."

"It's about damn time." He leaned back in the seat. "How much longer?"

Joe worked out that it was still another half an hour until they made it to Grand Rapids and Tessa said that she was okay to drive the rest of the way. Mainly because if she had to focus on the road she was less likely to think about her family – most of whom still lived in her hometown.

"You didn't get your licence when you were 16?" Jon asked, actually realising what Colby had freaked out about.

"I didn't need to; I had 2 older brothers and friends with their licences," Tessa shrugged. "And by the time I started wrestling I didn't really want it. I decided that I'd much rather pay extra for gas than have to drive for so long."

"You never, ever, went on a road trip alone with Tessa. You'd be driving for hours without break," Colby added. "I tried it once, four hours later I wanted to kill myself."

Tessa huffed dramatically, "I'm not that bad!"

Colby launched into a story that consisted of her constantly changing the channel, needing a bathroom break every 45 minutes or so and asking to stretch her legs far too often.

"You weren't complaining, then!" Tessa argued with him but her laughter was filling the car.

"Yeah," Colby agreed before adding without thinking, "Because I was in love with you."

The silence was abrupt and tense. Tessa's jaw dropped open slightly and she momentarily stopped breathing. Joe looked at her worriedly, Jon stared straight ahead of him, an 'oh shit' expression covering his face. Colby had no readable expression his face, but he was clenching his fists by his side and wishing he had never opened his mouth.

Joe opted to discretely turn up the radio's volume, hoping to diffuse some of the awkwardness that had filled the car.

When they finally arrived in Grand Rapids it was nearing 4 in the morning. Getting out of the car was a slow process for Tessa as she had to mentally prepare herself for the freezing air she was about to be hit with. Colby, on the other hand, had opened the door as soon as Tessa put on the handbrake. It was clear that he regretted what he had said.

Joe had offered to park the car for Tessa, telling her to check into her room and get some sleep. She was thankful for late night check-ins. Pulling all of her things into the elevator – she had purposely waited until Colby and Jon had gone up to even stand near them – Tessa realised she didn't even feel tired. She was wide awake, most likely because she couldn't stop thinking about Jon's conversation with Joe. Or what Colby had said.

a/n soooooooo what do you think? Thanks to The LovelyCanche, Straight Edge Queen, UntilNeverDawns, Livin on the EDGE and nmoxracha for reviewing!