Another quick A/N, because I've got dinner plans calling.

My favorite chapter to write. This one just kind of flew off the keys, if you know what I mean.

Chapter 7

When you're young, you can fly
But we trip on clouds 'cause we get too high
And we grow up, and then it's gone
Oh, God only knows what we'll become

Jess was gone just long enough to give Nick the opportunity to get defensive. She'd even hurried Aly out of the bathroom after her bath, giving Nick no chance to even say goodnight.

This inevitably led to more brooding.

If he were going to be in Aly's life, then Julia would also be a natural part of that. It was just expected. They'd moved slower than freaking Christmas on his involvement in her life, and he was putting both of them above everything else. He'd been leaving work early. He hadn't talked to Schmidt or Winston in at least a week.

Jess couldn't string him along like this forever, then get mad when he started making decisions!

Besides, Cece was the one who had fueled Aly's marriage conversation. Cece meeting Aly was one hundred percent Jess's decision.

Just as he had gotten up the nerve to move, Jess tiptoed out of Aly's bedroom, clicking the door shut behind her. Thirty minutes with her daughter hadn't eased the tension in her body as she ushered him into her room.

He took a seat on her bed, like the spot had his name on it or something, and she turned to face him, letting out a slow breath.

"Nick, what the hell were you thinking?" She hissed.

He was not in the mood for that.

"What was I thinking?" He repeated sarcastically. "Oh, I don't know, Jessica. Maybe that Aly should meet someone that's important to me."

"I told you to bring her straight here," she shot back, more edge in her voice. "There's so much she doesn't understand yet!"

Nick rolled his eyes. "I don't think you're giving her enough credit."

"Nicholas, she is three years old. How is she supposed to know what any of this means?"

"Oh, I don't know, Jess, why don't you ask Cece? She sure thinks Aly can take it," he cried. When Jess didn't respond, he continued. "Yeah, did you know that? Cece told Aly that we lived together. She asked if I'd almost married you, too. So, why am I suddenly subject to all these rules when you can do what you please with her, and let Cece just come and fill her head like that?"

"You haven't raised her Nick! I have!" Jess threw her arms out, her voice rising. "You're walking around like you know so much about her, like you have any idea how to really be a parent, and you don't. You've taken care of her for a total of three hours alone!"

"And whose fault is that?!" Nick rose to his feet, the volume of his voice matching Jess's. Neither seemed to be backing down, and like hell Nick was going to let Jess try to pin this all on him.

"Do you ever think before you talk?" Jess shook her head. "I forgot - of course not! Because you know everything! Nevermind that I was the only one who woke up every two hours when she was a crying newborn, that I didn't get more than six hours of sleep until she was six months old! Nevermind that I'm there for every stomachache, every tear, every scraped knee, and that I went through all of that by myself. Nope, I know nothing."

Jess was close enough to him now that he could see the tears welling up in her eyes. Her breath was heavy, and he was keenly aware of the way her chest rose and fell.

"I'm not saying that, Jess," he replied, trying to keep his voice even. "But you left me. You left all of us. Then you come back and let Cece into her life, someone who really didn't need that, and then think you can chastise me for bringing her to meet Julia?"

Jess frowned. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"See, Jess? There's things that you don't know, either," Nick took a hold of her shoulders. "Cece and Schmidt have been trying for two years to start a family. They have been through hell and back. And then you come bouncing along, Aly in tow, and don't realize - "

"Excuse me?" Jess's eyes spoke volumes.

He'd forgotten just how furious Jess could get. She pushed his hands away, taking up her defensive stance.

"I come 'bouncing' along?" She repeated, her small frame standing tall in front of him. "I came back and had no one. I'm not going to call you like that, out of the blue, and ask you to come watch her! Not after what you told me the day I left!"

Wait… What did he say?

He tried to remember, but then noticed that her nose was almost touching his. Nick felt his eyes go wide, and his heart skipped a beat. At her movement, he was closer than he had been to her in four years. Four long years. And she still smelled like Jess, like his Jess. All flower-y and liquid freaking sunshine, if it was even possible.

He felt the electricity between their bodies, a remnant of the undeniable chemistry that they had once shared. If he could only just wrap his arms around her waist one more time…

It was times like these four years ago that he would've just leaned forward and kissed her. Kissed her senseless. He let his gaze lower to her lips, wondering if they were still just as soft…

Apparently, Jess had felt the exact same thing, as she took a quick step back before Nick had the chance to think any further.

He cleared his throat, and shook the thoughts out of his head. Aly was obviously not the only one who had the power to muddle his mind… Or, rather, she'd simply inherited it from the master.

Nick tried to piece back together what they were previously discussing.

Oh, right, she's mad about Julia.

"Look, I'm trying to work with you here," he began, quietly.

"You can't even admit to me that you're getting married," Jess responded, the hurt evident in her voice. Nick's heart sank. "You let me find it out from Aly."

"Don't feel too special, I haven't even told my own mother yet."

Jess rolled her eyes at his slight attempt at humor. "I hardly think that'll come as much of a shock to her. Mothers just know."

"Maybe," he mused, deep down knowing that his mother was still holding out hope for someone else. Someone that was looking right back at him.

"We've got to be better about talking," Jess continued. "And I know you're trying, Nick, but after everything you've said, the doubts are hard to get over…"

"Can we let that go already?" Nick ran a hand through his hair, his voice rising again. "Look, I'm her father and, whether I like it or not, I'm here!"

There was a little gasp from the doorway, and Nick's insides twisted menacingly. Behind Jess's frozen form, peeking around the door, those blue eyes so much like her mother's bore into him, blinking back tears.

No, no, no.

Of course Aly would walk in and hear that.

Jess stepped forward, but not before firing off a glare directed at Nick that could rival his mother's best. He now truly felt he knew what shooting daggers looked like.

Aly ran away at the movement, but Jess was quicker, going right after her without hesitation. She caught Aly in the living room, pulling her close before the real waterworks started. Aly wouldn't look at Nick as he stepped into the room, her cries muffled only slightly by Jess's shirt. He felt his heart being torn in pieces as he watched the scene play out before him, this little girl, his daughter, crying over what she had just heard.

It had been so enlightening, almost heartwarming, to have such a clean start with Aly. A start that didn't include his smart-ass remarks or inability to think before he spoke… And now it had affected so much more than his relationship with Jess.

As he stood there, watching Jess stroke Aly's hair, he tried to think of what to say.

Anything would be better than what his last words were.

Jess, though, beat him to it.

"I think you should go, Nick," she said, her voice firm and hollow.

"But – "

"No," she warned, clutching Aly tighter to her chest. Nick's hands were shaking; terrified he wasn't just losing Jess this time. He was losing Aly, too.

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks, and the hot sting of tears in his eyes was the final straw. Grabbing his keys, he ran out the door before he could cause any more damage to two of the people in this world that he cared about the most.

Nick didn't allow himself to think too hard until he got to the bar, or else his car would've ended up on the side of the road somewhere. Bob was managing that night, and never the one to intrude, let Nick sneak back into the office without much of a hassle.

Nick pulled a beer out of the back stock, crashing onto one of the old couches that his more questionable employees seemed to spend a lot of time on. Is this what his life had come to? Avoiding home, leaving his daughter, and crashing on the couch in the back office of a bar?

Jess's voice resonated in his head.

I'm not going to call you like that, out of the blue, and ask you to come watch her! Not after what you told me the day I left!

He squeezed his eyes shut, letting the swing of alcohol settle in his stomach. It took a lot more to go to his head, but the stress of the night already had his thoughts hazy. As he put his head against the arm of the couch, he finally let go.

He'd locked away the regret, the ache, for four years. He'd tried for so long to forget, because he knew that his words had heart her. Would he ever learn his lesson?

With a cloudy mind and a torn heart, he let himself think back to the night she left… To the night he had tried so long to forget…

"I found this cozy little place off of Lamar…" Jess babbled on from the driver's seat, oblivious to Nick's head resting against the passenger side window.

It had been a long day at the bar.

Hell, it'd been a long week.

He'd been scheduled 30 hours, but had already worked closer to 40. Shane was being her typical pain-in-the-ass self. Jess was not-so-subtly hinting that they look at houses, although their lease at the loft was far from over. The alternator on his car had gone out on Monday, which is why Jess was driving him home at 2 AM.

"Can we talk about something else?" He groaned. Jess frowned.

"Why are you being like this, Nick?"

He closed his eyes, knowing that his words were hurtful, but still too stubborn to let it go. Jess had been touchy lately, anyway. It wasn't all him.

"You don't have to go around acting like we need some kind of white picket fence," he replied sarcastically. "Or would you like to do the whole proposal thing for me?"

He could feel her eyes on him, disbelieving. He wasn't going to act like their relationship had been perfect lately.

"Excuse me for trying to have a life with you," she huffed. He felt the car pull to a stop and looked up, barely registering that they were home.

Her words caused his pessimism to blossom. "We have a life. It's at 4D. Why is that suddenly not good enough for you?"

He wasn't choosing his battles carefully, he knew it. Still, it wasn't enough to get him to shut his mouth.

They got out of the car, and Nick following closely behind Jess. He could tell she was about to start crying again, which just caused him to shut down further. He grabbed her arm, hoping to at least slow her down.

"What's gotten into you, Jess?"

She turned to face him, her scowl unlike any Nick had seen before.

"What's gotten into me?" She repeated, then, just as bitterly, "Nick, I'm trying to get us ready for life, because it's going to come at us quick!"

"Not this again…" He muttered. They'd had a fight about their future not three days ago.

"I can't believe you're doing this!" she scoffed, turning on her heel. She reached the apartment before Nick, and ran into her room before he had the chance to stop her. Usually, he'd let it sit awhile, but he couldn't go to bed like that again. He'd lost enough sleep from work this week, and he was in no mood to let her add to it.

"Jess," he called at her door, not really caring that Schmidt and Winston might hear, "open the door."

He hadn't expected that to work, but almost reluctantly, she did. She was holding back her tears, and her arms crossed her chest like she was containing herself.

"Nick, we have to talk about this," she said evenly.

"Then talk!" He fired back, tired of the circles that she was going in. Her silence irked him even more. "You want to talk about the future? Sure! How's this?" He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'm a bartender. You're a teacher who can barely look out for yourself."

Jess's jaw set in a hard line. "That's not fair. I did just fine the thirty years before you came along."

"Barely," he retorted. He ignored the doe-eyes she was giving him, intentional or not. "You almost had a three-way with our landlord just to prove me wrong, for crying out loud! You think life is all about unicorns and rainbows and that singing will fix all of your problems."

"It's better than hating the world," she argued.

Nick ignored that. "You came into this knowing that I am not great at life. Then you won't talk to me for two days when I tell you I don't want to talk about things like kids and a house!"

"You knew, from the very start, that I wanted kids," she defended. "I was okay with whatever we could do to make it work."

"We're messed up, Jess!" Nick threw his hands out, his words coming before he had a chance to really think about them. "It's not just me this time! Do you honestly think that considering this is good for us? Look, we can't even have a civilized conversation about it, not to mention how we can afford it. There is no way this can end well. Neither of us is cut out for that."

"Nick, all I'm asking – "

"All you're asking? Did you ever consider asking me what I wanted?"

She looked at him again, chewing her bottom lip. She knew she hadn't.

Nick continued, his anger still coursing through his body, "Look at us! Did you really think I'd ever want a family like that?"

He knew the words were a mistake before they'd left his mouth.

His breath still came ragged as he watched the words sink into Jess. He braced for her response, waiting for the ball to drop and her fire to explode, something he probably deserved. Instead, though, he saw the color drain from her face. He saw stark realization in her eyes, her arms falling lower until she was hugging her abdomen like she had a stomachache.

The silence that followed scared Nick more than any kind of argument would have.

Quietly, and so very unlike her usual self, she stepped around him and held back hiccupped sobs until she made it to the door. He just didn't have the energy to go after her, and so he watched her shadow disappear through the front door, and, unbeknownst to him, walk out of his life for good.

The sting of regrets raw in his mind, Nick finally let his head wrap around what he had done to her night. She had never returned, and had opted to move out while he was at work, leaving Schmidt and Winston with two month's worth of rent and an ad already up on Craigslist for a new roommate.

He had never gone after her, in fear of what he would find. Would a happy, free-of-Nick Jess hurt him more than one that was just as upset over the fight?

He didn't know, because the only place he had ever wanted her to be was with him.

Neither of us are cut out for that right now!

Did you really think I'd ever want a family like that?

No wonder she had left him. No wonder she was scared to let him back in.

Two very different nights, separated by four years and insurmountable pain… Yet, he had proved himself somewhat right. He had never meant that Jess couldn't do it, and Aly was living proof that she was more than good at it.

Coming to terms with his insecurities was never his strong suit.

So, as it seemed, he'd just taken them out on everyone else he cared about.

Not really a cliffhanger... or is it? Thanks again to Newgirl78 for beta-ing this!

Also, thanks again for reading. It's been such a great experience to finally put this story out there, and I'm pretty overwhelmed at the response. Not even halfway done, either!