This is most definitely finished!
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Rick stretches his arms wide as his back arches against the mattress and a smile radiates slowly across his face. Today, today is going to be a good day.
After having listened to the gatecrasher go on and on yesterday while they had sat and had lunch together, well he had sat and had lunch, the miscreant had taken the opportunity to continue his harassment until Castle had had more than enough.
Pi's waffling about having found the perfect location for their exotic organic fruit market stall–which Rick assumes his money will be paying for–never seemed to end. And when it finally did, the little troublemaker incessantly began prattling about the evilness of modern America, and electricity, and the destruction of the environment...
At least that's what he thinks the conversation was about– he had stopped paying any attention to what came out of the intruder's mouth long ago.
Of course, it's not that he doesn't want to assist in making the world a better place; he just doesn't feel the need to be a pain in the ass to everyone around him while doing his bit. At least good had sprouted from bad– the menace had inspired a plan. A devious and demented plan and the thought widens his smile further as he plots the story in his head. If all goes well today, his nightmare will be coming to an end!
Rolling over, he runs a hand along Kate's naked body, fingers glide through the sweat that gathers in the small of her back, and a breathless chuckle escapes in memory. He had woken her early this morning, very early, but he had needed to get this day off to good start, a great start, and together they had well and truly reached that objective.
Step one is complete.
Brushing his lips tenderly against her shoulder, he hears a herd of elephants stomping their way–figuratively–down the stairs and a wicked grin flashes across his features before he schools his face to resemble its more normal appearance.
Alexis and the pest have made their way into the kitchen and it's time for stage two to begin.
Hastily moving around the bedroom, he hops into his discarded boxers, making as much noise as possible in hopes that Kate will join him in getting up– her presence is crucial for the next stage of his strategy to work.
Hearing her grumble, he exits, contains the smirk that wants to break free, and walking half-naked into the living area, he does his best to appear normal. Well as normal as he can possibly be.
"Good morning, you two," he speaks in the most overtly sociable tone he can manage considering who he is addressing. "What a lovely day."
Alexis gives an absent-minded wave, before her head whips around comically, her face twisting in horror as she gives him the once over.
"Ahh, Dad, I think you forgot to get dressed," she says, moving at the same time, so she can place herself between him and Pi as if to shield her boyfriend from the sight, and he does his best not to react with glee.
"Huh?" Castle looks down dramatically. "Oh, right. Yeah it's really hot in here."
Pi nods in agreement and for a moment panic strikes through Rick at the idea that the bane of his existence may strip and join him in wearing very little. Thankfully, the nuisance appears to be having so much trouble getting the blender started that he remains fully clothed.
"Yeah, Dad, the AC isn't working, or my lights?"
He really does try not to shake his head at the stupidity that has taken over the loft; over the fact that his smart daughter has been unable to see a link between the two. About the fact that Pi is still pressing buttons on the blender without anything occurring.
Okay. The last one doesn't surprise him, but he expects more from Alexis!
Movement from behind saves him from answering, and he pivots to watch Kate approach, smirking happily as she appreciates his shirtless condition. Sweeping her fingernails along the hard muscles of his shoulders, she pauses, nibbles at her lower lip before coming to, and continues her journey into the kitchen.
She heads straight to the coffee machine and he waits for stage two to be complete.
He's grateful that someone has their wits about them and it only takes her a couple of tries at the buttons before she questions, "Is the power out?"
Hallelujah!
Turning as one, the three newfound buddies look at him expectantly and he beams happily while answering. "Yes. I've turned the power off!" He allows his words to wash over them before continuing. "Pi has inspired me. Yesterday he informed me of the many ways I am failing as a human being on this glorious planet. So I have decided it's time to do more, be more!"
More of an irritation that is!
He watches, as the girls' mouths open and close in shock. Their eyes dart from their beloved coffee machine to him and then back again– the statement slowly sinking in.
That's right; two can play at this game!
Pi, strangely enough, doesn't comprehend the sentence at all and continues banging away at the blender, as if pressing the same button over and over again will change the result. Although that is the definition of insanity so…
"Dad? What do you… mean?"
"I mean… that we are now living without harming the environment. I brought a small solar powered fridge that will now do us." He grins empathically at the recent burden. "Just doing our bit, isn't that right, Pi?"
"Wow, Mr. C. That's fantastic!" Pi's enthusiasm has both girls eyeing him as if he'd grown a second head, and Rick internally jumps for joy.
"Although, Mr. C. We might need it back on." The imbecile caresses the machine housing his precious fruit and it takes all Rick has not to roll his eyes as he's asked, "How are we gonna mash the fruit up?"
This could not have gone any better if he had written the story himself.
Strolling into the kitchen he slides open the top drawer and with a flourish that would make even the best actor proud, he brings forth a fork.
"This, Pi, is great for mashing. It's how I pureed all of Alexis' baby food." He moves his arm in an up and down motion in demonstration. "See! Easy as pie!"
Castle chuckles at his own joke, but he is alone in the sentiment. Alexis and Kate still appear dismayed over their loss of coffee.
It's time for stage three.
"Don't worry, you two." He scratches a hand across his chest and leans back against the counter while doing his best Homer Simpson impersonation. "If you are that desperate for a drink, we can head down to the closest coffee shop?"
Smiles creep across both their faces, yet Kate steps forward, attempts to be discreet as she prompts, "We need to have a quick shower first." Her finger trails a line down his torso, nose wrinkling adorably as she encounters body fluids from their early morning activities.
"Oh. I am waiting for the bladder to fill up." His statement has her jerking back, her face a mixture of confusion and… disgust?
"Not that bladder, Kate! It's a bag that you fill with water and you place it outside in the sun, the sun heats it up, and you can have a hot shower. Well lukewarm is probably all I'm going to get today, but on a sunny day it will be beautiful!"
There is nothing but silence and the girls' distress is almost tangible as they stare in horror at him. The simpleton is apparently oblivious to his surroundings, focused instead on his hand inside the blender as he awkwardly attempts to squish the fruit within. Not that missing a shower is going to worry that unkempt fool!
"Anyhow," he says. "Give me a second to throw on some clothes and grab our family cash, and you'll have coffee before you know it!"
With stage three being such a success it's time to bring it home!
Hello, stage four!
"Family cash?" Kate catches on quickly to the perfectly placed hint and he is once again thankful she is here for this, otherwise the younger two may have been ignorant to all of his scripted clues.
"Yes. I also spoke to the accountant yesterday. I want to donate more money to the great work that is being done to help the planet. Unfortunately, he has had to freeze the accounts in the meantime. So we are living on a little bit of cash for now."
Alexis and Pi squeak as one, "There's no money." And he shakes his head slowly indicating no.
Kate's mood at least stays unaffected, although she does start patting her pockets. "Have you seen my phone? I was supposed to call Gates back."
As they all shrug their shoulders at her question, she stalks toward the bedroom. Quiet mutterings about 'needing to find focus' and 'going crazy without a job' drift from behind as she disappears.
One down, two to go!
"Dad! You aren't serious about the money! How am I supposed to go back to college?" He has to resist the urge to rant at the indignation in his daughter's tone, but he needs to remain on task. Stick to the plan!
"Well that's hardly an issue since you haven't gone back yet. However, that has always been in a separate account. For when, of course, you are back on campus. So, no need to worry that pretty little red head of yours!"
He smiles his million-dollar smile, observes the wheels in her head spin as she eyes Pi, debates her life choices before coming to the only logical conclusion.
"Didn't I mention, Dad? I'm actually due back today… Have some stuff to do... Preparation… You know!" She hesitates for a fraction as she eyes the foreigner, but it passes quickly and she bolts up the stairs without a backward glance.
Two down. One to go!
"So, Pi…" The mashing finally stops as the younger man looks up, realizes that it's just the two of them left in the kitchen and he wildly swivels around in confusion.
"Where did everyone go, Mr. C?"
Seriously, Pi!
"Kate is getting ready to visit the Precinct and Alexis is packing. She has to go back to college today." Rick does try to come across sympathetic, but really!
"Oh. Oh I didn't know that."
"Don't worry, Pi, we won't be alone for long. I have friends at the US embassy and they are personally coming over to help you fill in a DS-64 form." Rick puts on his most serious expression. "Nothing to worry about though, it's just a statement in regards to how your passport was lost."
The blood drains from the noncitizen's face.
"That's real good, Mr. C. But the funny thing is I actually found it… yesterday. Have already booked a flight home. Must have slipped my mind."
Castle nods, although his disbelief over the slipperiness of the interloper's mind is overtaken by his feelings of utter relief.
"Well you should probably start packing then too," says Castle. His exhilaration is barely contained as the kitchen finally becomes vacant, and he slumps onto the stool. Resting his head on his arms, he relaxes, breathes deeply, and allows the tension to melt away.
Thankfully, the hell he has been living in is about to vanish as if it was nothing more than a vivid dream.
As if it was nothing more than a nightmare!
Thank you to everyone that reviewed, the comments were hilarious! And to those that marked this as a favourite or put it on their alerts!
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Many thanks to honeyandvodka and Caskett1 for the read through xoxo
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