*Chapter 19: The odd wedding of Yu Narukami and Chie Satonaka*
*One month before the wedding*
"Finals are over!" Yu proclaimed as he burst through the door, "Summer break! Woo-hoo!" Yu hopped onto the couch, resting his legs on Chie's lap who was watching the news, "Now I can stay up as late as I want and do absolutely nothing!"
"You know, some of us actually have to work," Chie rolled her eyes.
"Yeah… but not me!" Yu smiled as he sat up and scooted next to Chie, "You know what sounds really good right now? Steak," Yu whispered in Chie's ear.
"Steak does sound good," Chie smiled.
"How about we go out, get a nice steak dinner and then come back here for a little… dessert?" Yu put his hand on her knee.
"Actually, how about we skip the dessert," Chie pushed his hand off.
"Huh? Why?" Yu looked at her with an odd sense of horror in preparation for what she was about to say.
"I think, we should hold off on the intimate stuff until our wedding night," Chie said, "It'll make the night that much more magical, don't you think?"
"That's a month away Chie! You wouldn't make me go a whole month without sex… right?" Yu looked at her, pleading with his eyes, "RIGHT?"
"I made my decision, and I think you will appreciate it when the time comes," Chie said to him.
"This is going to be… the worst month of my life," Yu said.
"Quit being a big baby, you sound like Yosuke," Chie said.
*The next day*
"She cut you off?" Yosuke laughed over the phone. Yu had called Yosuke up for… moral support. It was a stupid idea at the time and remained stupid in the present, "Hahaha…"
"I don't know why I called you," Yu said.
"Did you wanna borrow some of those magazines I had back in highschool?" Yosuke said, "I don't really use them that much anymore because, well, you know, I have a beautiful woman in my life that is willing to sleep with me, unlike you."
"Are you calling Chie ugly?" Yu said.
"Quit deflecting," Yosuke shot back.
"…" Yu grunted, "Why do you still have those magazines."
"They're collector's items; some of them are modern classics in their own right. Plus, you know, sometimes Yukiko isn't around or in the mood and I gotta take care of myself in the old fashion way."
"You're disgusting, what does Yukiko even see in you?" Yu laughed.
"A handsome man with a good sense of humor, charm, and a very active libido?" Yosuke said, "The same stuff Chie probably see's in you."
"Thanks for the compliment," Yu said as his phone rang with an incoming call from Kanji, "Hold on, Kanji is calling me," he put Yosuke on hold and picked up the other line, "Hey Kanji, what's up."
"Yosuke just texted me about your situation, sucks," Kanji said.
"He just texted you," Yu pressed a few buttons to make it a three way call between them, "Yosuke, you told Kanji? How did you even text him?"
"These new smart phones man, you can multi-task on them," Yosuke said, "Man, what will they think of next."
"…You're texting Teddie right now, aren't you?" Yu groaned.
"No… already texted him with Kanji a few minutes ago," Yosuke said right back.
"Great… just great," Yu sighed, "What did you want to tell me Kanji?"
"Nothin… I don't know… maybe, try to get Chie stressed out or something," Kanji suggested, "It works for Naoto. Whenever she gets really stressed out she tries to find a way to relax and you know, if I'm around it kinda leads into that."
"Or you could do what I do and be a man and just go for it!" Yosuke said.
"And if Yukiko says no?" Yu asked.
"Then I keep trying until she either gives in or makes me sleep on the couch," Yosuke said, "But 99% of the time it works, I swear!"
"You two are idiots…" Yu hung the phone up, almost immediately receiving another call from Teddie, "What?"
"Yosuke told me you needed to borrow some of his nurse magazines and I have some if you need them," Teddie said over the phone as Yu let out a sigh and simply put the phone down on the bed and left the room, "Hello? Are you there… I'm beary sorry! Don't leave me!" Teddie devolved into crying into the phone.
*The Tatsumi Residence*
"No no no," Naoto grunted as she banged her head against the wall. Currently, she had set up a makeshift workspace in the guest bedroom in Kanji's house. Normally, Naoto spent her time in a hotel paid for by her grandfather when she was in Inaba, since the Shirogane estate was relatively far away from Inaba. However, since being a couple with Kanji, he and her mom let her stay there for free.
Inside the room there were newspapers, briefings, video tapes, and everything you could imagine on her current target, The Phantom Thief. Everything about him was so, captivating. He had showed up out of nowhere and was robbing people and places, millions and millions of dollars of Yen had been taken. He robbed mansions, Pachinko parlors, banks, convenience stores, and even one case where he and his crew had robbed a Peace Diner of every ounce of lettuce they had in the store, and nothing else.
She had gone on steak outs, talked with the victims, talked with the police, and even talked with local Yakuza mob bosses about him, but nobody seemed to have any clue about who he was. Based on what best photos she had, he was relatively young, maybe early twenties or late teens, and was traveling around with a group around his age. They had access to guns and other weapons, and somehow managed to avoid police detection every time. His companions were the same as always, some girl dressed as a cat, an actual cat that he just had with him for some reason or other, and a bleached hair male with a leather coat, all wearing masks. There were also reports that they had an offsite person running communications for them, most likely pulling up blueprints and helping them get through undetected and safe.
Currently, Naoto was going over the most recent case where the group had robbed a fine china shop of tons of dishes and silver wear. She had alerted any pawn shops and other businesses in the local area of description of the fine china, although not entirely rare, it was unique and fine enough to bring a good amount of money to the seller. She was also in conjunction with the police to see if they had any new leads. Naoto was scanning what little was left of the security footage she obtained. There was not enough detail; some sort of interference was always preventing the cameras from working that well, most like due to the outside man's help.
"Hey Naoto, are you busy," Kanji came in with two glasses of coffee, "I made you some coffee."
"Thanks," she took is without looking still closely watching the footage on her laptop.
"You got a lot of files in here…" Kanji looked around. The bed was unmade and covered in various papers and clippings, highlighted and blacked out.
"It is an investigation," Naoto said lifelessly watching the same footage over and over again.
"Maybe you should take a break or something," Kanji said, "You've been in here the entire day."
"It's only 2-ish Kanji," Naoto defended, "I need to find some sort of clue, there's something I am missing here, I know it!"
"Come on, you're driving yourself insane, just, let me give you a nice back rub," Kanji went over and put his hands on her shoulders and began to rub them.
"Kanji I can't… do… that," Naoto slouched down in her chair like melted butter as her muscles began to relax, "Well, maybe just one little quick massage… then straight back to work!"
Downstairs in the store, a few customers were examining the various items in the textile shop as Kanji's mom was tending the shop.
"Excuse me, does this come in blue?" a man asked about a red scarf they had at the front.
"Oh, we could make one if you like," Kanji's mother said. As the two were talking a few grains of dusk began to shake loose from the ceiling and fall down onto the items of the store.
"What's that?" he looked up.
"That's my son Kanji, he likes to work out a lot," Kanji's mother laughed.
"That he does, how is your son doing, still working here?" the man asked.
"Yes, in fact he made that scarf the other day, he could easily make on for tomorrow in blue for you," she said. Back up stairs Kanji had just finished his "workout".
"You know, sometimes I'm afraid I am a bad detective," Naoto sighed as she laid back on the pillow resting her hands behind the back of her head, "I just can't seem to make any progress on this case."
"Right," Kanji was resting with his eyes closed, getting ready to drift off to sleep.
"I just don't understand why I can't find ANYTHING on him or his crew," Naoto said, "It's déjà vu back to when I was investigating Adachi, I couldn't figure out anything about him until you guys came along with your personas and television world and helped me, not that you could be any help right now… I guess I'm just afraid of failing my grandfather and his legacy and shaming the Shirogane name," Naoto snuggled up next to Kanji, "You're such a good listener Kanji, that's why I love you, because you understand me better than anyone else." Kanji, however, had not heard a single word beyond "detective" and fell into a dead sleep.
*Yosuke and Yukiko's apartment*
"Today the inn was just the worst, someone kid threw up all over the floor in the lobby and…" Yukiko was naked in bed lying next to Yosuke as she looked over at him. Yosuke was sitting up, naked too, but wearing the pair of gag glasses Teddie had made a few years back, "Please take those off!" Yukiko began laughing, "That's too funny!"
"You love these," Yosuke leaned over and began kissing Yukiko.
"I can't do this with you wearing those," Yukiko was still laughing.
"Fine, then you wear them," Yosuke put them on Yukiko, "Very… sexy…ish," Yosuke was trying to find the right word. He was staring at Yukiko's face covered by those enormous glasses, "It's… it's just too much for my brain to handle. I can't do it either."
"No," Yukiko grabbed Yosuke and pulled him down under the covers as she began to giggle.
"The mustache tickles," Yosuke was laughing, "S-Stop!"
"Okay, then what if I do this!" Yukiko gasped.
"That tickles even more!" Yosuke continued to laugh, "No! It's like torture! Stop it!" Yosuke was lost in laugheter as Yukiko continued her torment.
*Chie and Yu's apartment*
Yu was watching television in bed as Chie walked over as climbed into bed with him. She leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the cheek and said, "Goodnight!" and went to bed.
"Just do what I do," Yu remembered Yosuke and Kanji's words.
"Chie… are you stressed out about the wedding or work?" Yu asked.
"Not really," Chie said, "Work has gotten a lot better. I've been doing less and less paperwork now that I'm used to it and know what is and isn't required and there's been a little more action on my routes. I actually stopped some kids from spraying graffiti an alleyway last week! And I'm not nervous about the wedding at all; I'm super pumped for it!"
"Are you stressed about anything at all?" Yu was trying to get her stressed out.
"Nope! Life is perfect," Chie said, "I hope life is perfect for you too."
"Of course," Yu smiled, "Damn it, this ain't working Kanji, time to give her the Yosuke method."
"You know Chie," Yu shut the TV off and scooted closer to her, "I can tell you're a little stressed out and I want you to know I can make it all better," he began kissing her neck.
"Yu! Stop! I told you no already! We're waiting for our wedding night!" Chie scooted over.
"But doesn't the wait just kill you? It's like forbidden fruit, just take one… little… bite," he took a nip on her neck.
"HYA!" Chie let out a large noise as, in a second, she rolled over and managed to kick Yu so hard in the crotch he flew out of bed, hit the wall, and fell to the ground, "No sex until the wedding night! If you can't control yourself then I'm going to have to buy a chastity belt for you, do you want that?"
"N-N-NO!" Yu let out a cry of pain as he rocked on the floor.
"Good," she pulled him into bed and gave him another quick peck on the lips, "Sweet dreams."
"I'll be dreaming about having kids after a kick like that," Yu was still breathing heavily, "How does Yosuke deal with that type of abuse from you?"
*The wedding day*
"This place looks great!" Chie said looking over the dining hall in The Amagi Inn. It wasn't as fancy as Yosuke and Yukiko's wedding, mostly from the fact it wasn't a traditional wedding like theirs was and somewhat smaller than theirs.
"The staff did their best," Yukiko said, "They'll also be assisting your caterers, who I believe just pulled."
"Great, Yu picked them out so I haven't met them yet," Chie left the dining area of the inn and ran out front. There was a large red van out front with the words "Catering" spray painted yellow on the side. Yu clearly hired an amateur company, more than likely because it was cheap. In the van there was a large commotion of sorts going on that Chie was trying to figure out. Instead, she decidedly to politely knock on the side of the van to let them know she needed to talk.
"JUST OPEN THE DOOR!" a large muffled scream came from inside
"FINE," another voice said as the door slid open slightly, "A small blonde woman popped out of the door. She was extremely beautiful with green eyes, her hair very long and well done. She was wearing a long red dress with a slit in the side and her chest almost completely popping out of her dress as well from how low cut it was. Now she had a pretty clear idea of why Yu hired them in the first place.
"HI, I'm Anne, good to meet you! I take it you are Chie… the bride!" she shook her hand.
"Uh, yeah," Chie smiled back, "I just wanted to let you know that the kitchen and staff are ready for you to set up and they received all the food and plates and silverware you sent them.
"Great, we'll be inside in a few minutes," she hopped back in the van and quickly shut the door.
"Who was that?" A bleached haired boy asked. Inside the van sat four people and a cat. The van was also full of tons of surveillance equipment and weapons that the gang was using for their various heists.
"The bride," Anne sighed, "Not that you would know Mr. I-never-read-the-briefings!"
"Oh shut your goddamn mouth," the kid shot back, "I read them."
"Really, then who are we after?" She asked him.
"Some dude!" he said, "The prince detective or whatever."
"You're an idiot," she laughed.
"Oh my god, will you two shut the hell up?" a man in a suit said in the back, "Now if you two are done arguing for the next few minutes, I want to go over the plan one last time!"
"Fine boss," he said, "but I want the record to show she started it."
"Shut it Ryuji," he said, "You and Anne are our 'chefs' and you two will be in charge of cooking a preparing all the dishes for the wedding. I know you do not read the files all that often, but please tell me you and practiced your cooking skills from those videos we stole!"
"I…uh… did?" Ryuji said.
"Lair," Anne said.
"OH MY GOD SHUT UP! IT'S STEAK! HOW HARD IS IT TO COOK A GODDAMN STEAK? IT'S LIKE ON EVERY FUCKING MENU IN THE GODDAMN WORLD," he began shouting.
"I can cook steak better than all of you," the man in the chair rolled around from the equipment to chime in. He too was their age and working with the crew. He was rather overweight, wearing a hockey jersey and extra large grey sweatpants to cover his obesity and sun glasses to feel cool on the mission, "I feel I should be the one to cook with Anne and Ryuji can take my place."
"No, we stick with the plan, you are support, we need you," the boss said to them, "Now, when we get in there I assume the fake identity. Juzo, what is the fake name you put into their invite list?"
"Here's everything you need to know," Juzo handed the boss the file.
"Wait… Charlie… Tunoku?" the boss looked up from the file, "Charlie Tunoku… My fake name is Charile Tunoku? What the hell kind of name is that? That's not even a real last name! And do I look like my name is Charlie? That's stupid."
"It is so a real last name!" he shouted back, "If you don't like it then you should have picked it yourself!"
"That's not my job on the mission! I'm the leader! You're intel and support! And intel and support covers fake IDs Juzo you fatass!" the boss yelled.
"Meow!" Morgana meowed at him.
"Shut your mouth you whiskered dickhead," Ryuji said. Morgana hissed and leapt at Ryuji, scratching at his face as he tried to wrestler her off.
"…How have we not been caught?" Anne sighed.
"Morgana enough!" the boss slammed his foot down, "Okay, we go in, you two cook, I sneak in, we steal Naoto Shirogane's phone and keys. Go to her place, get all the evidence, and get out of the boonies. Any questions?"
"Can we get some fast food after this?" Juzo asked, "I'm starving."
"You bought extras from The Wild Duck burger after we went through an hour ago!" Ryuji pointed at the bags of dripping grease in the corner.
"What if I get hungry again?" he asked.
"Dude, you gotta lose weight or you're going to die," the boss said, "Just, let's go and try to pull this off again… Oh, and Ryuji, I swear to god if you 'improvise' by pulling out your gun and shouting, 'taste my boomstick!' again like at The Peace Diner I will shoot you in the head!"
"You do that one time," he got out of the van with Anne and Margana leapt out behind them scurried off into the unknown.
"Wait, Morgana!" Anne shouted, "Shit!"
"Stupid cat!" the boss slammed his hand into the side of the door, "Why do I even bring her along."
"Testing! Can you read me?" Juzo said into the walkie-talkie.
"Sakamoto can hear you," a man said over the radio.
"Takamaki reporting in loud and clear," a female voice followed soon after.
"Wait, why are we using walkie-talkies?" the boss asked.
"Because it's a mission?" Juzo looked over.
"YOU'RE GODDAMN PERSONA IS FOR COMMUNICATING! THAT'S WHY YOU'RE PART OF THE TEAM!" he was screaming.
"Oh shut up! Just because I don't feel like using my persona and I want to use good old fashion spy stuff, I'm an asshole. You sir, are an egotistical prick. I don't know why this 'Igor' gave you a Persona to begin with, but I bet he regrets it now.
"Just, give me my walkie-talkie!" he grabbed one from the shelf, "Why! WHY IS IT ALL STICKY?"
"Because I spilled Mad Bull all over it the other day," Juzo said.
"Oh my," the boss sighed as he radioed over to the group, "I want you all to remember. Naoto Shirogane is also a Persona user. In fact, she was involved in a very incident in this town which awakened her ability. There may be other Persona users at this wedding too, and we must not let them know of our abilities, so under no circumstance can we use them."
"See," Juzo said, "That's why I brought the walkie-talkies."
"Except you are in a car away from everyone unlike us you… argh!" the boss threw Juzo to the ground and the two began to fight violently over the radio.
"I hate all of you so much," Anne said as she signed off.
*The Beach*
"What a beautiful day for a wedding," Rise said looking out to sea. On the beach, the place looked truly magical. There we're white wooden chairs and a white arch at the front with red roses placed all over the ceremony aisle. The beach sand was especially white; everything looked so pure and untouched.
"Indeed," Naoto said as the two stared out to sea, "Yu and Chie are very lucky it wasn't raining today."
"Yeah, I guess we should go get dressed in our dresses," Rise smiled. The two walked off to joined Yukiko and Chie who were getting dressed.
"Yes, it's nice to see you too again," Yu was standing near the entrance to the area of the beach they were at. Yu was clearly nervous; most people were at their weddings. He could now understand what Yosuke was going through on his wedding day, but if Yosuke could go through with it then why not him?
"Uh, sorry, I don't know you, you are?" Yu asked a younger man in a suit that walked up to him, "I'm… Charlie… Tunoku," the man grimaced at the words, "I'm Chie's distant cousin. I'm also adopted. My parents couldn't make it, but they send their wishes."
"It's good to meet you, thanks for coming," he shook hands with him. Yu found something mystifying about the man, but couldn't put a finger on it. He had an air about him, and a swagger he found similar to himself in some way.
"Well partner, are you ready to get hitched?" Yosuke came up to, "As your best man, I am in charge of making sure you don't do anything stupid."
"I think you have that backwards," Yu laughed.
"Just, one tip, don't lock your legs when you are up there, you'll pass out and we'll have to put it online where millions will laugh at your pain," Yosuke said.
"I won't," Yu and Yosuke walked along to the front of the ceremony area where Teddie and Kanji were both standing.
"My suit is beary itchy!" Teddie cried out as Kanji was helping Teddie scratch.
"That's cause you got sand in it from rolling around on the ground a few minutes ago," Kanji said, "I told you not to Ted."
"I couldn't bear it! The sand is so warm!" Teddie said.
"That's our Teddie," Yu laughed as he looked around at all the people that had gathered for the wedding from both sides of the families. Yu then turned his attention to the beach, looking out on how clean it was and how it glistened from the sun, "Is that… a cat?" Yu and the guys turned their attention to a small black cat that had run out onto the sand as was hissing at them.
"Oh no," Charlie looked over at Morgana and began shaking his head, making sure she wouldn't do something stupid. Morgana took the message, let out a large howl and leapt into the ocean and began unnaturally swimming away from the wedding.
"Did that cat just take off swimming?" Yosuke asked, "I'm not the only one seeing that, am I?"
"That's uh… that's pretty weird, I guess it's a sea cat or something," Kanji said.
"It's about time," Yu looked at his phone before turning it off, "Okay," he let out a quick sigh, "I'm going to vomit."
"Oh, If you're going to vomit then take this!" Teddie reached into his suit and pulled out a large burlap sack.
"Why the hell do you have that?" Yu asked.
"I don't know," Teddie frowned.
"He has it because he's Teddie," Yosuke said, "Now put that back, the wedding is about to start… and get behind me you idiot! I'm the best man!" Yosuke pulled Teddie and pushed him behind himself.
"Why do I have to be last?" Kanji asked.
"Because you're the tallest," Yosuke said.
"That doesn't make any sense!" Kanji said.
"Shut up! The music is starting!" Yosuke hushed Kanji down as the wedding march began. Chie was being led by her father down the aisle. Yu felt like it was just yesterday that he was fighting Chie's dad in the yard for Chie's hand in marriage. Mostly because his face began to pulsate every time he saw Mr. Satonaka.
The wedding proceeded as any other wedding. Yu's mind wandered through all the wonderful memories he had with Chie. Meeting for the first time, working out together, going out to eat all the time, and of course defeating an ancient god bent on human destruction with a supernatural power it gave to them inside of a different world.
Will you please, as an expression that your hearts are joined together in love, now please join your hands?
"Yu, do you take Chie to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage. Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her? For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health And forsaking all others, be faithful only to her. So long as you both shall live?" the ordained asked.
"I do," Yu said.
"Chie, do you take Yu to be your wedded husband to live together in marriage Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health And forsaking all others, be faithful only to him So long as you both shall live?" he asked.
"I do," Chie smiled and blushed.
"Then I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride," he said as Yu grabbed Chie and the two romantically kissed on the beach. Everyone began clapping for the two as they began walking back down the aisle together.
"Yah, hooray," Charlie said clapping as well, "Please Any and Ryuji, do not screw this up," he whispered into his walkie-talkie, "The wedding is over, they are on their way."
*The Amagi Inn*
"Everything is going according to plan," Anne said, "This place is nice. Maybe we could take a nice vacation out after we save the world. Just, get away from Tokyo."
"I swear if I have to come back here I will blow my brains out all over the walls of this inn," Ryuji said.
"Quit being so dramatic," Charlie said, "Juzo, are you in position with the getaway van?"
"YEAH CAN I GET ONE LARGE TRIPLE CHEESEBURGER WITH A LARGE CHOCOLATE SHAKE?" Juzo said over the walkie-talkie, "AND THROW IN ANOTHER BURGER WITH THAT BECAUSE I'M VERY HUNGRY! THANKS!"
"Are you getting fucking fast food again?" Charlie asked.
"You can't just expect me to sit there in the van waiting for the wedding to get over!" Juzo defended, "I got hungry!"
"You had food in the van!" Ryuji said.
"It got cold, no one wants cold soggy fries!" Juzo yelled.
"Dude, quit eating, then, maybe, just maybe, you'll get to fuck Anne like you want to," Ryuji said.
"You bastard I told you that in confidence!" Juzo began yelling.
"Relax, we all want to fuck her!" Ryuji said, "It's just, some of us have."
"Not you," Anne said.
"Uh, Are you telling me that you going down on me and half the school isn't sex? Because It is!" Ryuji said, "Just because you fucked the boss after knowing him for like two days, doesn't make it any better!"
"Shut the hell up!" Anne said, "I'm not a slut."
"Okay little miss cleavage!" Ryuji laughed.
"Knock it the hell off," Charlie said as he hopped on the motorcycle he had stolen a while back and had rode to the wedding, "Sometimes I feel like I'm your dad."
"Wouldn't that mean you fucked your daughter?" Ryuji looked at Anne who threw a raw steak at his face.
"Wait," Charlie looked over at the wedding party that consisted of the gang, "I think I found our persona users. The wedding party"
"Well duh, Naoto is in it," Anne said.
"I know, but there's something about them, I can see it in their eyes," he took his phone out and took a picture of the eight.
"So you see Shirogane?" Ryuji asked.
"Yes," Charlie responded.
"So… what's the… cheastal situation look like?" he asked.
"What?" Charlie responded.
"Can I get some ketchup packets? Thank you!" Juzo said, "Yeah man, how big are her breasts?"
"I don't know, average?" he said.
"If you had to guess a size what would you say?" Ryuji asked, "I need to know, it's killing me!"
"D's, Double D's maybe," Charlie was now focusing on Naoto, "There about the same size of Anne's."
"Nice," Juzo said, "They got those little packets of ketchup you can also dip into!"
"The wedding party is arriving shortly!" one of the workers at The Amagi Inn said to the two in the kitchen.
"Thank you," Anne hammed it up in a very sing songy voice, like a dumb teenage girl. Inside the dining hall the room was abuzz with everyone talking and drinking.
"Man, this wedding is great," Yosuke said as he took a swig of his beer, "I don't know how you're feeling Naoto, but after all our weddings; yours has a lot to live up to."
"I'm sure you all will be impressed with The Shirogane estate," Naoto took a swig of whiskey.
"Is it nice Kanji?" Yukiko asked.
"Uh… yeah… it's an estate," Kanji said.
"And now the bride and groom will now have their first dance," the DJ said as Chie and Yu walked over onto the dance floor and began a dance to slow romantic music.
"I love you," Chie said, "This has been a fantastic day."
"I love you too," Yu responded, "And I'm sure it will be a fantastic night as well. Mostly because I've been waiting a month like you wanted."
"Anne, I got eyes on Shirogane," Charlie said to them, "I'm going to try to get a dance with her to pickpocket the stuff off of her. Can you do the same for that brute of a boyfriend of hers."
"On it, what does he look like?" Anne said.
"Tall, dark hair, used to pierce his ears by the look of them. Very muscular, looks like he's kinda a badass. Knowing Shirogane he's probably well versed in some sort of self defense and is highly intelligent. Also, he may try to seduce you for all we know, do not fall for any tricks he may pull!"
"DOUBLE HONEY POT IS A GO!" Juzo said with a mouth full of fries.
The music ended and the regular dancing went on as The Phantom began to get ready for Anne to come in a distract Kanji so he could slip in for a dance.
"This is very nice fine china Yukiko," Naoto said looking at the plates, "Where, uh, where did you get it?"
"Oh, it's not ours, the catering company brought their own dishes!" Yukiko smiled.
"They are very high class, must have been a family heirloom," Naoto was looking at them as she downed the last of her whiskey, "Kanji, can you get me another glass whiskey with no ice please?"
"No problem, anyone else need a drink?" Kanji looked over at the table, "No? alright," Kanji walked away from the table as he walked back towards the area where they were making drinks, "Whiskey, no ice! Thanks!"
"Buy a girl a drink?" Anne slid over to Kanji.
"It's actually an open bar," Kanji said.
"Oh you," she let out a laugh, "You're so funny, what is your name?"
"Kanji," Kanji said.
"I'm Anne," she grabbed onto Kanji's hand, "How about we pretend you bought me one and we can, get to know each other." She motioned the bartender who handed her a vodka martini.
"I'm… uh, I'm in a relationship kinda," Kanji blushed.
"Oh you, there's no need for anyone to know!" Anne laughed, "It's not like your cheating on her, just a little friendly flirting," her grip on Kanji intensified.
"Care for a dance?" The Phantom walked over and grabbed Naoto by the waist and drug her onto the dance floor.
"Sorry, I'm with someone," she tried to get away.
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I did not know," he spoke to her, "Just do me the honor of one dance with a lady like yourself. Then you can go back to your husband."
"I don't know if he would like seeing me with another man like this," she said.
"Nonsense, I'm sure he won't even notice," The Phantom chuckled, "He must be an exquisite man to have a wife such as beautiful as you! Tell me, is he a doctor, an engineer? Or maybe both?"
"Neither, he's a business man," Naoto said to The Phantom.
"Oh, how grand, a man on his climb in the corporate world!" The Phantom laughed again, "I take it his big bucks is what earned a woman like you?"
"True love," she said annoyed by the arrogance of this mysterious man.
"Oh, how romantic," The Phantom said, "I take it I should leave, but do me one favor, just give me a quick kiss to steal this moment."
"I don't think," she tried to say The Phantom quickly stole a kiss from Naoto.
"Farewell, I will never forget you Naoto Shirogane," he said before running off from her.
"Oh god, please tell me no one saw that!" Naoto panicked, "I just cheated on Kanji. No I didn't, he kissed me! That's totally different."
Back with Kanji, Anne's seduction had only gotten more and more obvious.
"Your wife is a detective?" Anne gasped, "She must be super smart."
"She's not my wife yet, but yeah, she's really smart, I think I should go," Kanji was about to pull away with the whiskey.
"You two aren't married? Then I won't feel so bad about this!" she grabbed Kanji and gave him a huge kiss, shoving her tongue deep in his mouth and handing him a crumpled up napkin, "call me!" she giggled and ran off.
"I…I…" Kanji looked around, "Naoto is going to kill me."
Kanji walked back to the table, waiting for someone to call him out on what happened as Naoto did the same thing. As they both arrived, they sat silently waiting for something to happened.
"Here's your whiskey," Kanji nervously said.
"Thanks," Naoto instantly downed the whole glass with zero hesitation. Out in the lobby and Anne and The Phantom met up to compare their loots.
"I got his phone, his wallet, and the keys to his house," Anne showed him her results.
"I got her phone, her wallet, and I got this baby," he showed her Naoto's revolver, "Now let's go get that evidence… and figure out where the hell Morgana is because last I saw her… well… there's a statistically high chance that she was eaten."
"Oh god," Anne said, "Ryuji, we're bailing this lame ass wedding!"
"WAIT!" Juzo said over the walkie-talkie, "Get me a slice of wedding cake, I'm starving!"
"Jesus Christ kid," Anne said, "Fine!"
Inside, people had started giving speeches on Yu and Chie.
"When my son was a little kid, he told me how he wanted to marry me," Yu's mother told the crowd as Yu turned red from embarrassment, "He wanted to live with me in the backyard and we'd eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day."
"How embarrassing," Naoto chuckled with the group.
"That explains so much right now," Yosuke said.
"What a baby," the phantom laughed as he walked over to get some cake for everyone. As Yu's mother's speech ending, Chie's mom came up and gave one at about the same level of embarrassment as Yu's was at. Finally, Yosuke as the best man came up to give his speech, remembering exactly what Yu had done at his wedding.
"I was told that I had to be on my best behavior otherwise Chie and Yu won't invite me to their next weddings," Yosuke joked followed by some laughs from the crowd.
"Of course he gets laughs, when he does it," Yu groaned.
"I guess we should thank Mr. and Mrs. Satonaka and Mr. and Mrs. Narukami for having their respective accidents around the same time," Yosuke joked, followed by a few chuckles from the audience, "I can't talk about Yu and Chie's accident cause I'm suppose to keep that on the down low." A few gasps coming from the crowd.
"Yosuke!" Chie shouted.
"Chie is pregnant?" Teddie shot up and exclaimed for everyone to hear.
"HA! Shotgun wedding!"The Phantom yelled from the back as he took a bite of cake.
"No! No No No No! No one is pregnant!" Yu said standing up and trying to calm everyone down, "We're not having a child; Yosuke's just pulling a bad joke... okay." Yu sat back down as both he and Chie slumped back into his chair.
"I kid of course; I'm reminded of a story that I think really captures the… persona, if you will, of Yu Narukami. It was back our second year in high school and the annual school festival was happening," Yosuke smile as he continued on with the story.
"Oh my god, please kill me," Yu slunk even further into his chair.
"Our teacher decided to throw a big pageant where the guys would dress up in women's clothing and whatnot, and obviously no one signed up," Yosuke described.
"Yosuke's not…" Rise was giggling slightly.
"Oh yes he is," Naoto was fully giggling as well.
"However, Yu worked up the courage and signed himself up along with all of us, much to our displeasure," Yosuke continued on, "And the girls helped out with our outfits and in the end we had a good time, especially Yu because as you all know he's actually really into cross-dressing, actually, if you will I gave the slideshow guy a photo." Yosuke turned around and a picture of Yu posing in the female school outfit, followed by a lot of people laughing in the crowd.
"I will murder him," Yu said with a twitching eye as Chie was trying not to laugh as well out of respect to Yu.
"What a pussy!" The phantom was now laughing, "Please tell me you're recording all this man!"
"I am," Juzo was laughing in the van, "What is he wearing?"
"A female school outfit uniform with a wig, it's super gay," The Phantom laughed.
"What a catch ladies and gentlemen," Yosuke laughed, "Yu's always been a flamboyant man, but that's not to say he was also the ladies man, he tried picking up my wife a few times, and that was just before the wedding!" A few more laughs.
"HA! I love this kid," Chie's father was laughing, "He should've married Chie."
"That night we all actually stayed at The Amagi Inn, wonderful place I'm sure you all know by now, it's my wife's family business," Yosuke motioned back to Yukiko, "We had a nice suite and all and we couldn't wait to get in the hot springs."
"Please Yosuke, do not mention the hot springs incident," Yu said quietly to himself, "Please, I beg of you, show some restraint in front of my entire extended family."
"We all headed down to the hot springs, but we had the times all mixed up so we walked in on all the girls bathing, and Yu man just jumped right in and Chie here beat the crap out of him," Yosuke smiled.
"Holy crap Yosuke's got balls," Rise was laughing now along with Yukiko.
"His entire family," Yukiko could barely breathe from her laughing fit, "and friends think he did that."
"Now let's talk about the bride," Yosuke turned his attention to Chie, "Chie is a good friend of mine and my wife, the two have been friends since childhood. One of my favorite memories of Chie was also back our second year in high school. We took a school trip out to the city and visited Gekkoukan High School and one night we all went to this little club to hang out and dance."
"Oh no," Chie's face turned red.
"And what Chie didn't know is that the drinks were obviously all non-alcoholic because we were underage at the time, but she thought they were and ended up getting drunk of the atmosphere and she was stumbling and giggling all night and ended up vomiting all over Yu's lap." A few more laughs from the crowd.
"What the hell, that didn't happen," Chie said to Yu, "I'm going to kill him too."
"Honestly, though, Yu is my best friend and he is one of the greatest people I've been blessed to know and he got a great girl and I wish you both eternal happiness and may your ups and downs may only be in bed tonight," Yosuke made the final toast before the applause and swaying back to his seat.
"Revenge is sweet," Yosuke said to Yukiko as he rocked back with his arms behind his head, "Teach Yu to get drunk at my wedding and say Chie beat me up."
"That was pretty harsh Yosuke," Kanji told him trying not to laugh.
"But it was funny," Naoto was still laughing with Rise.
Yosuke smiled as he looked over and gave the thumbs up to Yu who was extremely mad, squeezing his fork in his hand so hard. The wedding continued on as the people began to dance separately with the bride or groom.
"Thanks for the dance big bro," Nanako said.
"No problem Nanako," Yu said, "To be honest, I thought you were getting a little old to be calling me big bro."
"You'll always be big bro to me," Nanako smiled.
"Yosuke… I am going to kill you when we are alone," Chie was steamed at Yosuke who was dancing with her.
"I know, but my punishment can't get any worse so now I can do stuff like this," Yosuke reach down and place his hand on Chie's butt, followed by her blushing.
"Is that a blush Mrs. Narukami?" Yosuke smiled.
"It's the anger swelling up inside of me!" Chie said, "If I wasn't at this wedding I would literally kick you so hard your children's children couldn't have children!"
"Wait, so you actually punched my son in the face for trying to marry your daughter?" Yu's father was talking to Chie's over a drink, "Man, what I wouldn't have paid to see that. Kid needed a punch in the face."
"Well, if you had a daughter you'd understand," Chie's dad said.
"Yeah, I kinda did by sound of that story," the two men laughed.
Eventually, the wedding died down as people left and Yu and Chie were saying goodbye to their friends.
"It was a wonderful ceremony," Naoto said, "I…" Naoto began rummaging around in her pocket. "My phone, my keys! Where the hell are they?"
"You don't have them?" Kanji asked, "That's okay I think I… wait, where is my stuff?"
"Your pockets are empty too, odd, they were in my pocket and…" Naoto pulled out a small paper mask that was folded up in her pocket, "Wait… HIM!" Naoto took off at full speed, "Damn it! Where's the caterer!" Naoto was racing around outside, panicking, everything finally piecing together in her mind too late. The plates, the man, the cat on the beach she saw earlier that day. It was him.
"Naoto, what's wrong?" Kanji asked.
"The Phantom, the guy I've been chasing, he was HERE!" Naoto said, "We gotta get back to your place! They have the keys, they're going to destroy all the evidence! I gotta find that van!"
"Let's go," Kanji and Naoto quickly ran across town, trying to get back to the textile shop. Kanji was trailing Naoto who was running as fast as humanly possible. They found their way back to the shopping district, the store still physically intact from the outside. Naoto ripped the door open, inside the store was complete torn to shreds.
"OH MY GOD!" Kanji shrieked. Everything in the store was completely obliterated, the cloth tossed around the store along with several of Kanji's handmade dolls hung from the ceiling with makeshift nooses. Naoto rushed past the horror, stepping in water as she looked in the kitchen. The sink was overflowing; Kanji walked over and shut the sink off, pulling out several of his dolls that they clogged the sink with. Naoto had rushed upstairs, the bedrooms torn apart.
"No! It's all gone! The files, the papers, the evidence!" Naoto was freaking out, "OH MY GOD THEY STOLE MY GUN!" Naoto realized.
"Dear Detective Prince, I had a wonderful time with you at this marvelous affair. Unfortunately, our game of cat and mouse has come to an end, and the mouse has gotten away with the cheese. Don't continue to chase us, or worse than this will happen. If it's any consolation, you are quite the beauty and that brute of a man you are in love with is very lucky. Signed, The Phantom. P.S. Someday I hope you understand why I did what I did, I did it to free people, including you."
"Damn it!" Naoto screamed.
"Is that cat vomit!" Kanji said as he walked into his mom's room, "Oh god it stinks so bad! There's hair all over it!"
*In the catering van*
"This gun fucking rocks," The Phantom was twirling it around in the back of the van, pretending to shoot his friend in the head as he juggled some knives. Anne was driving the getaway car as the cat sat in the passenger seat, now in another cartoonish form.
"You're keeping it?" Anne asked, "Why?"
"It's a good gun for its age," The Phantom said.
"It's puuurrrfect," Morgana said.
"Morgana I swear to every god in the sky if you make one more stupid pun I will throw you out the window!" Ryuji said as the car fell silent.
"PURRRRRRSONA!" Morgana screamed.
"GODDAMN YOU!" Ryuji leapt over and grabbed Morgana and tried to shove her out the window as Anne was holding him back while continuing to drive the car.
"Ryuji! I will shoot you!" The Phantom yelled.
"Do it CHARLIE!" Ryuji said, "Do you… you…"
"Pussycat!" Morgana yelled followed by a sound of a shot.
"Ahhh! YOU SHOT ME IN THE HEAD!" Ryuji feel back, "I'm dead."
"I just grazed your skull you baby, I'm not going to kill my best friend," The Phantom said.
"You are a horrible person and a horrible friend! OWWWW!" Ryuji was rolling around in pain, "I need something to clot the wound!"
"Take these burger wrappers!" Juzo threw wrappers at him.
"I hate you all so much," Ryuji laid there on the ground of the car, "Why do I even hang out with you?"
"… Because you get to rob stuff?" Anne asked.
"Hey, it's okay, I'll tell you what, on the way home, we can rob any business you want," The Phantom comforted him, "And you know what, I'll let you do the boom stick line!"
"Really?" Ryuji smiled.
"Really!" The Phantom said.
"Thanks… partner," Ryuji laughed as he collapsed onto the floor of the van, "Now someone seriously get me a proper bandage because I have lost a shit ton of blood."