Found some time tonight to update! This chapter is shorter than the last, but I can think of a few people who will be very happy with the ending of this one...

Chapter 16

It seemed that the sight of Jess sitting in the airport terminal, struggling to even look at him, erased all of the progress that Nick had been oh-so confidant that he made that morning in the cemetery. Upon waiting for their boarding call, the magnitude of his situation with Jess and Julia was finally starting to crash into him. He couldn't tell his left from his right when it came to the two of them.

Aly was as cute as ever in handing her mother the tea, but then again, when was she not?

"Daddy said you'd like it," was all Aly had to say before Jess's stare was right back to her feet. Nick fought the urge to reach out to her, settling the churning in his stomach. He had caused this whole mess, and the more he thought about their predicament, the more he felt an invisible weight pressing down on his shoulders. He knew what was right, but he also knew what his heart wanted. This gave him no further comfort (or resolution) in his dilemma.

Consequently, once their boarding call resonated through the terminal, he began the long plane-ride home mentally kicking himself for all the wrong reasons.

He should feel awful because he had a fiancée. It should be because he felt bad about betraying said fiancée's trust. It should be because he could've just ruined what he had with the girl who picked up the broken life that Jess had left him with.

Yet, all he could seem to feel bad about was the way that Jess wouldn't look him in the eye; the distance she had kept from him. The longing he had for just one more kiss, one more touch. It was taking all his willpower not to just reach out and hold her hand, something that he had probably done a thousand times without a second thought. But now? Now he was ashamed at how much he had taken their time together for granted. The memories of every time he had shied away from her touch were moments that he could never get back. If only he'd known then what he knew now...

He shook his head.

She hadn't even looked at him once at breakfast that morning. It was like an arm's length at all times, which was fairly impressive when sharing a toddler who had to be carried through most of the airport.

The tea thing had only seemed to make matters worse, as the awkward balance of "speak only when necessary" extended all the way through the flight, into the baggage claim, and finally to the car.

They made the drive to Jess's apartment in ominous silence. Aly seemed to be oblivious to this fact, though, as she worried on their way home on how Elvis would react to her new cat friend Nick. It would've been cute if either parent had been paying more attention. Nick could only manage smiles in the rear view mirror, while Jess nodded and reassured Aly as they pulled into the parking lot that Elvis was not the jealous type of bear.

Lucky for Nick (the human), once they had Aly all settled in back home, the stuffed animal introductions went fast and the only input he needed was "uh-huhs" and the occasional nod.

Then came time to say goodbye.

He bent down to Aly in the doorway, and she fell right into his embrace.

"Are you coming back tomorrow?" She asked into his ear.

He hugged her closer, his heart dropping at the sadness in her voice. "As long as your mom says it's okay," he replied.

Jess's lips were forming a thin line when they both looked to her. Nick sighed, and watched Aly retreat. Apparently, she knew the look, too.

"Here, sweetie, you can go watch your movie while I say goodbye to Daddy," Jess replied, handing her a DVD. Nick recognized it as the one Cece had returned the other day. Aly took it happily, waving one final goodbye to Nick.

Nick smiled inadvertently as he watched her skip away. "Night sweetheart."

He started to walk to the door by himself, and was surprised to notice that Jess was following him. She was behind him straight out the door, and once they were outside of the apartment, she shut the door behind her.

They stood there for a moment, locked in limbo. Nick had no clue how to read the neutral expression on her face.

Finally, she sighed. "I can't do this, Nick."

His heart sank. He should've known that Jess didn't like to leave things unsaid.

"What do you mean 'you can't do this?'"

"I just… I can't – "

"Look, Jess," he looked at her sadly, "I'm sorry. I am. I don't know how to say anything else without making it sound like I regret it."

She blinked. "You don't regret it?"

"I've learned to never regret things like that," he shrugged. Nick saw her gaze soften as the corners of Jess's mouth try to pull up at a certain parking-spot memory, but she quickly recovered.

"I can't be that girl," Jess shook her head. "I know what it feels like… I'm not going to do that to Julia… To you."

She bit her lip and Nick looked straight at her.

"I'm not asking you to be," he admitted, finally, "but there are things that I've still got to sort out and – "

"I have a date this week," she blurted.

Nick felt an invisible weight crash into him.

Wow.

He wasn't ready for that. Nick felt the air whoosh out of his lungs, like a blow straight to the heart.

"With who?" He questioned, more out of curiosity for how Jess met someone when most of their time off was spent together.

She seemed to take it as an insult. "For your information," she glared, "his name is Dylan. He's divorced and had two kids at the same daycare that Aly went to in Portland. He comes down to LA for business a lot. We met a few times for coffee before picking the kids up."

The mental images of Jess with another man simply infuriated him. He had no rational reason to think this way, to feel as if he should be putting up a defense, but after all that they had been through the past few days, her revelation stung like the worst form of betrayal.

"Just what you need," he retorted, unable to control the sarcasm, "more complications."

"You're one to talk!" Jess countered, apparently close losing her cool as well.

Nick held up his hands. "Fine, whatever, go out with Mr. Skeletons in His Closet. I'm going to go home, and – "

"You're seriously going to go there?" She rolled her eyes. "If we want to go back to middle school name-calling, Nick, let's talk about your relationship. You can't even admit that you're engaged, let alone go through with – "

"For your information," he repeated, almost mocking her. "We have a date set. Oh, and Aly is going to be the flower girl. Hope you're okay with that."

He didn't expect for her eyes to fall the way they did… He didn't expect to see the same heartbreak he'd seen four years ago play out before him. He hadn't meant to hurt her like that.

Yet, somehow, his words had done it.

Pulling further away from him, she did her best to not let him see how much his words had stung. "Well, she's your daughter, too. I can't stop that anymore."

Jess turned to walk back inside, looking at him one last time before she closed the door. He hadn't gotten that privilege last time he lost her – though, he wasn't sure he would call this losing, as he never actually had her this time.

In his silence, Jess just shook her head.

And with the soft click of the door, she was gone.

Nick didn't know how to feel on the way home. So many different emotions coursed through his being… Anger. Disappointment. Fear.

There was guilt in there, too, but not nearly as much as it should be while driving home to face Julia. She didn't know anything that had happened – he hadn't even thought about telling her, he'd been so wrapped up in Jess's latest emotional roller coaster.

He knew he'd have to come clean. He wouldn't go into this relationship without being honest. How had he not seen that back in Chicago? Jess had obviously been keeping things from him, and the last thing he needed was to have that with Julia, too.

However, he reached his house before he could come up with a good way to talk to her about it. He didn't want to come home, say "How was my weekend, you ask? Great! Jess and I made-out, got in a fight, and now I'm close to an emotional breakdown. Oh, but Aly can be our flower girl" and then proceed talks about the wedding.

Nick opened the door, keeping his head down, and threw his keys on the table.

Well, attempted to throw his keys on the table.

They actually clattered onto the floor, sliding into the empty space that once was home to their table.

What the…

"You're home."

Nick spun around, seeing Julia's small frame in the doorway to their bedroom.

"Uh… Where's the table?" He asked, starting to realize other subtle things, like Julia's DVD stand, were also missing.

She looked at him, biting her lip. "Not here," she finished, awkwardly.

"Obviously," Nick shook his head. An heavy silence loomed. "Seriously, Julia, what's going on?"

Julia then leaned up against the wall, and Nick noticed she was still wearing a pantsuit from work. He wondered if it was new; it'd been a long time since he noticed she'd worn anything new.

The silence blanketed them. It began to sink in what was coming, as much as Nick didn't want to admit it. He'd been worried about a fallout, sure… but this?

"Are you…?" His voice was hesitant, waiting.

Julia nodded, sadly. "I signed a lease for a new place while you were in Chicago."

"But… why?"

She didn't bite her lip this time. Instead, she inhaled, like she was about to give a eulogy instead of an explanation.

"I've been taking stuff out of the apartment for a month now," she confessed. Nick's eyes grew wide… Really? Julia continued, "You didn't even notice. I was being spontaneous and took an entire day off, and you didn't think it was the bit strange that I didn't go to work before you that day. I called your mom, and found out that you still can't admit that we were ever – "

"Were?" His voice was shaking.

"Well where else did you think this was going?" Silence. She closed her eyes. "That's exactly what I mean. I was never the jealous type, but I can't do this. I can't share you, Nick, not with another girl."

Suddenly angry, Nick fired back, "If you think that Aly is some sort of problem – "

She cut him off.

"It's not Aly I'm talking about."

Jess.

"It's Jess…" He mumbled, trying to hide the emotion in his voice. The memories, the worry, were all coming back. Not the time, Miller. Not the time.

"I knew the second that she came back that we were over," she admitted, folding her arms across her chest. "It wasn't just Aly. It was everything. I told Jess years ago that we all knew you were going to run back to her anyway…"

"I'm still figuring things out," he argued, "who says I'm just running back to Jess? She's seeing someone, Julia. It's not like that, and I can't just take her out of my life, we have a kid!"

She shook her head. "That may be the case now, Nick… But just wait a few months, a few years."

"Yeah right," he rolled his eyes. "So if you always knew I'd go running back to her, why did you even want to date me again in the first place?"

This seemed to take Julia by surprise. Nick wasn't expecting the chuckle that escaped her lips. She had a pretty smile, and Nick knew he'd taken it for granted. Could it be possible that she deserved better than this? Or, rather, something different. Maybe they both had settled.

"Sorry," she corrected, straightening back up. "It's just… I ran into Schmidt when I was out for a drink one night a couple years ago. He was drunk."

Despite the circumstances, Nick felt himself laugh. Heaven help anyone that ran into a drunk Schmidt.

"Anyway," Julia continued, "he was going on and on about some 'Caramel Goddess,' which I think is how he talks about Cece." She shrugged. "I guess I'll never understand how the man speaks. So, he was going on about how she'd been depressed because her best friend left without a word, and how you had been doing nothing but work for the past six months and how he just hated how he couldn't be happy…"

She was rambling, but she was still smiling at the memory. "I… I guess when I realized that Jess was gone, really gone, I felt like I needed to do something. I was ready for something committed. I got put on a huge case the next day, and so it took me almost another six months to actually go find you… but I did."

"And here we are," Nick finished, desperately trying to get a hold of his emotions.

"Here we are," Julia repeated.

They stood in another moment of silence, Nick balancing his back against the kitchen counter, and Julia still standing in the doorway, her eyes flickering to the front door every now and then.

Nick didn't really know how he wanted this to end. Would he have had the courage to do this, had Jess taken to his advances? Or would he have ducked out like a child?

Finally, Nick broke down and let his heart do some of the talking. "I really did care about you, Julia."

"I know," she said, her gaze softening. "But can you look me in the eyes and say that nothing was happening with Jess?"

He didn't mean to look down, but it was almost automatic, and he was sure the gesture spoke volumes more than what he intended to confess. Julia sighed – not angrily, not completely unhappily, maybe not even disappointed. It felt like she was moving on, leaving Nick in the middle of a painfully empty kitchen.

Slowly, Julia walked towards him, and placed a careful kiss on his cheek. "Goodbye, Nick," she whispered, her hand resting on his shoulder. He reached up and found it, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Goodbye, Julia."

Her hand slid out from under his, lingering on his arm for a split second before pulling away. She turned around, picked up her purse, and walked straight out the door… out of this life.

This time, when the door clicked shut, Nick knew it was final. It didn't hurt as much as he'd expected, either. The house was empty, sure, though he was starting to realize that it had felt empty for months. Tonight was no different, even though he felt the loss of both Jess and Julia fresh on his heart. He knew that there was no turning back… But maybe, just maybe, there was a silver lining.

He found it as he settled into bed, thankful that at least the mattress was his, and that he'd kept his old sheets from the loft.

There was no lamp anymore, but among the various books now piled on the floor, he spotted the coloring book page that he had colored with Aly over a month ago.

Had it already been that long?

His fingers traced the markings on the page – from his questionably dressed character (was he even a prince?), to the still unfinished princess on his left. Nick knew what she looked like, knew that he should have been able to at least finish this... Until he realized, for the very first time, why he'd never finished it.

He bolted out of bed, digging around for some stray markers, crayons… anything. He found some old colored pencils, probably for labels or something, and got to work.

Whether she would ever truly be his or not didn't seem to matter, because Nick knew exactly what his princess should look like.

Once again, I have to give a shout-out to Newgirl78. She's done so much more than any beta reader I've had before, and her input into this story is invaluable.

And what did I say about the end? Hope all you Julia-haters enjoyed it! Still a lot more to come... Obviously, things with Nick and Jess are never quite that easily resolved ;)