Another quick update before the week starts. I may have squealed like a teenage girl when I saw the tumblr shout-outs! You guys are awesome!

Chapter 17

Well there's nothing to hide and nothing to prove
Give me all that you are
You've got nothing to lose
Just don't let me be lonely
No, don't let me be lonely

"So you're telling me," Schmidt drawled on, "that you broke up an engagement last night, and now say you're fine? Nicholas Miller – the name synonymous with 'psycho break-up protocol' – has called off his engagement and is fine."

Nick took a sip of his beer, letting the glass clank softly on the table. He smiled up at his friend, enjoying a long-overdue after-work guy's night. He glanced over at Winston, who was giving Nick a smug look of understanding. They'd spent the past hour just catching up – Nick explaining Chicago (minus the kiss), Jess's date, and, most shockingly, Julia.

"Man," Winston followed up by clapping Schmidt on the shoulder, "I think that's called progress!"

Raising his glass, the three looked around their circle and held up their drinks together. Who cares if they were well over 30 and toasting like they did in college – they weren't at Nick's bar (as he knew the new manager would be pestering him endlessly with questions) and Schmidt seemed to be in one of the best moods Nick had ever witnessed.

The truth was, Nick really was okay. He wouldn't call it progress – he was still hurting – but he still had Aly, and part of Jess, whether she liked to admit it or not. It wasn't a terrible place to be.

"Gentlemen," Schmidt began, and the other two quieted down. Winston gave Nick a knowing look. This should be good. "As you may have guessed, I have a rather exciting announcement to make."

They waited, blinking at Schmidt while he composed his words. He had that guilty, child-with-a-secret look on his face… A look that brought Nick relief. They'd seen Schmidt through some pretty tough times recently.

"Cecelia and I – "

"I swear, Schmidt, if this is another 'sexual discovery' –"

Winston swatted Nick at his comment, already drawn into Schmidt's story, and Nick shut his mouth.

"No," Schmidt snapped with an eye-roll, "and if you're done rudely interrupting, I was about to announce that Cece and I were approved through an adoption agency today."

Nick and Winston instantly jumped.

"Congrats, man," they chorused, sending another round of drinks their way.

It was destined to be a good night.

"So how long are you looking at?" Winston asked with another gulp from his glass.

Schmidt thought about this. "It could take awhile, but after two years, my cultured lady is ready for it."

"The question is - are you ready for it, Schmidt?" Nick questioned, casually.

"Well," he shrugged, "I still don't think you're ready and you seem to be doing fine."

Winston tried to hold back his laughter, until Nick gave in and chuckled. There were things that he still wasn't ready for, things that he didn't even want to think about. So, Schmidt had a point.

"How's that going, by the way?" Winston looked back at Nick.

"It's good," Nick admitted, grinning. "I'm picking up Aly tomorrow when Jess goes out. She could've stayed the night, but I wasn't gonna push it with Jess."

"Smart man," Schmidt commented, tipping his glass Nick's way.

Nick nodded, but didn't know what to say. He didn't feel smart, that was for sure. Still, he continued on, changing the subject back to Schmidt's adoption plans, at least for the time being.

It felt weird to be talking about kids like they were, but the fact was, he and Schmidt weren't college roommates anymore. He and Winston weren't just childhood friends. They were adults, with lives and women and kids all coming at them at once.

Maybe it had been like that for awhile… it just took Aly coming into his life for him to finally see that.

Nick waited as long as possible the night he was to go pick Aly up. Not that he didn't want to see Aly… He just had other reasons.

He knew it was stupid of him. He knew that it was probably pretty childish, too. But he had to see the guy that thought he could just take Jess out when he was just stopping through.

Who the hell did he think he was? Nobody is ever just stopping through between LA and Portland.

His hands gripped the steering wheel that much tighter as he pulled up to Jess's apartment building. He checked the time – 7:10. Just a few minutes late, and pretty close to the 7:15 pick-up that Jess had mentioned.

When he got to the door, he half-expected to see Jess frazzled and half-put-together, much like their old date preparations had gone. In living together, they'd learned entirely too much about each other's pre-date routine (or in Nick's case, lack thereof).

Instead, though, his favorite three-year-old opened the door, cracking into a grin when she realized who she was looking at.

"Daddy!" She squealed, climbing into his embrace. He didn't think that word would ever grow old.

As he carried Aly in, he heard Jess's voice coming from the bathroom.

"You're late."

She didn't exactly sound amused. Nick didn't expect her to, anyway, so he just laughed.

"Traffic," he said lamely, and turned put Aly back down. "So," he asked her, "what all is on our agenda tonight?"

Aly considered this for a second, then scampered into her room. She returned with a little green suitcase, the one Jess had told her was too much trouble to take to Chicago last weekend. Nick had begrudgingly agreed, even though she looked pretty darn cute carrying it.

"I've got lotsa colors and a movie," Aly suggested, reaching for the zipper.

"Oh, no you don't," Jess appeared from behind. Aly looked sheepishly back up at Nick. She guided Aly's hand away from the zipper.

"Momma packed it with everything I need."

"Yes, Momma did," Jess responded, raising her eyebrows with a smirk and crossing her arms in front of her. "And you're not gonna take it all out again, are you?"

Although he could hear the firmness in her voice, there was still a little hint of a smile. Aly caught on pretty quick, and nodded, holding back a giggle.

Nick let his gaze fall on Jess for the first time, and couldn't force back the grin that pulled at his lips.

She was in another red number; it's material shining slightly in the light. Her hair was piled up loosely on the back of her head. Dark, wavy strands hung against her shoulders and framed her delicate features. The skirt flared in usual Jess fashion, and Nick let himself marvel at the way it hung from her hips. Jess looked over at him for a moment and caught his eyes. She tilted her head slightly, a tender look he used to know so well, and the corners of her mouth curled up before she bit her lip.

He smiled back, and nodded. "You look really bea..."

There was a knock at the door, startling both of them back to reality.

Jess glanced nervously at him again, a warning look in her eye, and went to answer it. Aly appeared back at Nick's side, so he picked her and her suitcase up, ready to get out as soon as he got a good look at David-something-or-other.

"Ready to go?" A man's voice sounded.

The man stood in the shadow for a second, until Nick approached the door, feeling bolder than usual with a toddler in his arms.

"Oh, hello there," the man greeted as soon as he saw Nick.

Nick gave him the once-over, seeing a man that was half-Paul, half-Russell, standing before him. What is with Jess and her ex boyfriends? He was scrawny, with dark hair, and in Nick's bartending days, was one of the guys Nick would usually have to call a cab for because they couldn't handle their liquor very well. Bet he's such a lightweight.

"Dylan," Jess addressed, "this is Nick. I told you about him back in Portland. Nick, Dylan."

I told you about him back in Portland? What kind of explanation was that? He was Aly's dad - that's who he is.

Dylan held out his hand, and Nick shook it with his free hand. Nick was suddenly glad that men didn't bother with small-talk… This was awkward enough. Aly gripped Nick's neck just a little tighter.

"Well, hi there, Aly!" Dylan quipped, clearly expecting a response. Aly buried her face into Nick's shoulder. Nick couldn't tell if she was tired or shy, but it was still satisfying to show Mr. Daycare who Aly's father really was.

"Sweetheart, remember Dylan?" Jess coaxed gently. He could feel Aly peek over at him, but that's about all she did. "He's Bailey's dad."

She nodded, still not moving.

"Another time," Dylan added, still too happy about the whole thing. He looked at Jess and smiled. "You look nice tonight."

Nick could see the blush creep up on Jess's cheeks. His arms tightened around Aly.

"We better get goin' then," Nick interjected, taking the opportunity to walk into the space directly between them. "Bye, Jess! Aly, say bye!"

"Bye Momma," Aly waved as they walked off. Jess mumbled a goodbye to Nick avoiding eye contact, and blew a few kisses at Aly. Nick shook his head, unable to get the jealousy to subside.

Maybe it had been a bad idea to get a look at the clown.

Or not. He was just looking out for the mother of his child.

Definitely not a bad idea.

It was two hours later, and Aly was bathed, dressed, and ready for bed. Nick wasn't sure if Aly didn't understand that Jess was coming to pick her up, or if she was hinting at something, but it made Nick feel a little bit more confident about his single parenting skills when she snuggled up on the sofa like she'd be there all night.

"Can we watch a movie?" She asked after finishing yet another page in her coloring book. The lone piece of furniture left in his living room, aside from the TV and the TV stand, was the couch. Aly was currently perched against an armrest, unsuccessfully trying to keep her crayons from rolling off the edges.

Nick chuckled and picked a few up off of the floor for her.

"What did you have in mind?"

Her eyes lit up and she dug around in her suitcase, producing the worn case of a DVD Nick had grown familiar with… Tangled. "This one is my fav-er-ite," Aly continued, drawing out her syllables. He'd read her a story before bed just a week before, and when the word came up, she was instantly curious of Nick's slight Chicago accent.

It amused him to no end that she was trying to imitate it.

Aly's waiting stare sent his thoughts back to her present request. Movie or no movie?

He knew it was late, and he knew Jess would flip out on him if she knew Aly was staying up past her bedtime, but what could it hurt? After all, he was going to be the fun parent.

Well, except for boys. No fun with those.

He shuddered at the thought.

When he finished putting the movie in, he found Aly perched on a pillow, curling up under a blanket she'd produced from her bag. He involuntarily smiled. "Good idea," he nodded, going into his own room to grab a blanket.

He returned and settled into an opposite end of the couch. He impatiently clicked through the previews – he'd show those stupid Hollywood tycoons – and finally made it to the home menu. He was far too excited about this movie for an adult male, but he just couldn't help it. It was one of Aly's favorite things; one of the few he hadn't shared with her yet.

He had high hopes… hopes that were quickly dashed upon his press of the 'play' button.

The beginning was unsettling enough – for real, kidnapping? This is a kid's movie! – though the plot picked up fairly quickly after that. By the time Rapunzel, or whoever she was, was begging for time out of the castle, tower, whatever it was, Aly had crawled over to Nick.

Instead of staying on the other side of the couch, she dragged her pillow over to his side, placing the pillow across the armrest (and, consequently, his arm), then curled up under his blanket.

"You're just like your mom," he mused, chuckling. "She liked to steal blankets, too."

Except when she was fully clothed... But that didn't happen very often when it was just him and Jess, and he certainly wasn't going to tell Aly that.

Aly giggled, then shushed him. The prince – or, rather, the thief – that was on the page Nick helped Aly color appeared on-screen, his high-speed chase through the woods ending in Rapunzel's very tower.

Nick didn't quite expect the way the future hero sauntered into the room, and yet another giggle escaped Aly's frame.

"Daddy, it's you!"

He couldn't help but laugh. Aside from the whole thief thing (hey, he'd been called worse), Aly may be onto something. So he watched, taking in this strange new character, wondering if that's what Aly thought of when she first saw him. Huh, weird. They were pretty alike.

Because of this, Nick became entirely too engrossed in the movie. The similarities were just striking…

The guy showed a disdain for all random singing, had a clear lack of enthusiasm for strange situations, and yet, still found himself entranced in this bubbly, innocent, little princess.

Before long, after a series of wood chases and river rushes, the characters were on the lake, it was raining flowers…

There was a knock at the door.

Nick jolted, feeling Aly's weight on his legs. He glanced down at her, peacefully sleeping on him. He couldn't disturb that.

"It's open!" He called, hoping that it was not some serial killer at his door… But really, what kind of serial killer would knock?

"Glad I'm not a robber or something," a very feminine voice muttered from the outside, reiterating Nick's thoughts.

The front door then squeaked open, and the outline of Jess's thin frame appeared. Jess fumbled around for a light, finding the switch in the glow of the TV. As the room lit up, Nick squeezed his eyes shut from the sudden contrast. Aly rolled over in similar response, burying her face in the pillow.

"Nicholas Miller!" She scoffed, glancing at the movie. "It's almost eleven, and you're letting her watch a movie?"

He rolled his eyes, lowering his voice. "She fell asleep like fifteen minutes in!"

"Well, at least you don't have to deal with a sleepy, grumpy toddler in the morning," she grumbled, packing up the objects strewn on the couch back into Aly's bag. Nick sat there, hoping the sleeping little girl on his lap was a good enough excuse not to move. He thought he caught the glimpse of a smile on her face as she glanced up and shook her head at them. If only she knew how much he wanted to "deal" with Aly in the mornings, grumpy or not.

"Have a nice date?" He retorted. It wasn't intentionally snide, but Nick found it hard to keep his cool at the word 'date.'

"Very," she snapped. "Now, I'll let you get back to Julia." Her voice softened slightly, a distinct hitch as her words spilled out. "I'm sure she'll want you back all to herself."

Jess held out her arms, waiting for Nick to hand Aly over, and he sighed. He could tell her Julia was gone. He could come clean about everything.

Yet, here he was, chickening out.

He gathered his daughter in his arms, gently untangling her from the blanket he had brought out. She whimpered just a little bit from the cold, so he shifted her head to his shoulder so Jess could cover her with the blanket she'd brought.

Just as Jess's hands found Aly's side, she held onto Nick tighter, giving the two of them a small cry. Nick was trying to ignore the electricity that still hummed between him and Jess, as her fingers worked to pry Aly from his chest.

"Aly, sweetheart, we have to go home," Jess explained softly in her ear, only to be met by a louder cry. Why did this have to be so hard? She finally has her daddy and here I am having to be the one to tear her away. Why would it always Aly that was going to punished in all of this?

"I don't wanna go," she protested, pulling closer to Nick. He was not doing a very good job hiding his smugness. Jess closed her eyes, trying to ignoring the nagging guilt in her gut.

"You need sleep," Nick spoke up, trying to convince Aly to let go. He didn't want her to go, but he also wanted what was best for her.

"Why can't you come with us?" She whined and gave him a frown so turtle-like that Nick had to resist hugging her back to him.

"Because Nick lives here," Jess explained. Aly's grip had loosened, so Jess took the opportunity to take her from Nick. Choking on her words, she held onto Aly tightly. "He doesn't live with us, sweetie."

"Why doesn't he?" She pouted, pulling the blanket tighter around her.

Her question caught the two of them off-guard. How exactly do you tell a toddler why her parents don't live together? Nick was partially relieved to see that Jess appeared just as lost as he did. Jess averted her gaze from Nick's piercing glance, so afraid that she would break down at any moment. She took a deep breath, willing away the tears just a little while longer.

"It's just the way it is. But it doesn't mean I won't be thinking about you." Nick gently stroked Aly's back, unable to push away the realization at how similar the feel of her hair was to Jess' soft curls against the palm of his hand. He leaned over and kissed Aly's forehead, lingering momentarily to breath in the all too familiar scent of Jess' perfume. "Goodnight, baby," he whispered.

This seemed to calm her down, just a little bit.

Jess sighed, shooting him a look that showed gratitude and exhaustion.

"Night, Jess," he casually waved his arm as she turned.

"Night, Nick," she replied, almost awkwardly, and turned to leave, Aly now resting comfortably against her shoulder. She paused for a moment and spun slowly on her heels. "Nick?" He glanced up surprised, watching her bright blue eyes carefully. She smiled, "Thank you for tonight. I just wanted a night to feel like I was more than just Aly's mom, you know?"

Nick felt his breath catch in his throat. More than just Aly's mom? Was that all she thought she was to him? He started to say something when she spoke again.

"I know you think this is what I wanted, and I accepted my choice a long time ago. But, it doesn't mean that I'm not lonely sometimes. I just miss..." Her voice quieted to almost a whisper, filled with genuine sadness. "You're really lucky that you found Julia. I just wanted you to know that."

Before he could even catch his breath, she had quickly opened the front door and was gone.

When the door closed, Nick tried to not let his emotions get the better of him. Jess' admission had caught him completely off guard. Lonely? For the first time, he realized how much Jess' sacrifices would have been at the sake of her own happiness. Sure, she had Aly all these years, to which he could admit generated jealousy deep within him from time to time. But what if she wasn't really happy?

Was that why she picked that song all those years ago to sing to their baby girl? Because she really did miss him all that time? He had spent so much time being angry and trying to push away the resentment he felt over her running away, that he had forgotten that while she had spent her days and nights worrying and taking care of their child, he had had the opportunity to find love again.

A love that didn't even matter to him.

A love that had never been real to begin with, because Julia wasn't Jess.

Why hadn't he told Jess that Julia was gone? Was he afraid that even with Julia gone, Jess had moved on long enough to not be willing to give them a second chance?

He folded the blanket in his hands and brought it to his face. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath to inhale the smell of Aly's shampoo.

He missed her already.

He had discovered how much his heart ached when Aly was with Jess. Sure, he was exhausted. Sure, toddlers weren't the easiest people to please, but there was something missing the moment she was gone. No matter how difficult being a father was, it didn't mean he didn't enjoy every second of it. He thought back to how amazing it had been in Chicago when they were all together, and how he started to imagine what it would be like to have both of them here with him all the time.

In the new silence filling the house, he realized that the movie was still playing.

Nick had half a mind to take it out of the player and return it tonight… But then, he remembered that they'd never finished it. He still didn't know if Rapunzel would pick the grumpy, half-hearted thief, or leave him behind.

He had to admit, he was rooting for the guy.

So, Nick took the opportunity to settle back into the couch, right where Aly had fallen asleep against him, and began to rewind. He found the spot where they'd been before Jess had knocked on the door, with full intentions on finishing the movie that night.

He hoped Aly wouldn't miss it too much.

As per usual - Newgirl78 added some extremely useful passages to this chapter, and her input has been invaluable to this story. Can't ask for a better beta than that, can I?

Thank you all again for the continued support! It is truly amazing!