Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, am simply borrowing them for the purposes of this story.

AN: Again much thanks to everyone who is reading, reviewing and following – it makes me happy and is very much appreciated. One more chapter to go now after this one, probably could end it here but the superstitious idiot in me won't post a thirteen chapter story!

Falling Slowly Chapter 13

I absolutely can't wait to leave this hospital, and can only imagine how that must be doubly true for Lisbon. That I get to drive her away from here in a few moments is the only thing that has kept me focused these last few days.

Though Teresa is far from back to her normal robust health, she is long past the period of being content to stay in a hospital bed and be on display to passing medical students twenty four seven. The only time I've laughed in forever was listening to her yelling at some first year residents who picked the wrong woman to be careless with. I know she longs to be able to close a door, lock it behind her and have the world disappear.

I am depending that she will want me to be on the right side of that locked door with her.

I'm fidgeting and worrying because I've been banished to the outside of the hospital to wait for Lisbon. Apparently I was being an over protective ass. Honestly though I don't see that changing anytime soon. So while I lurk by the exit, Lisbon is somewhere gathering up her few possessions and saying her goodbyes to those who have taken such good care of her these last weeks.

Hopefully I'll get to take good care of her over the next several weeks.

Or maybe years.

Or hopefully forever.

I'm getting ahead of myself, but I do intend to discuss that strategy with her soon. Or perhaps I could just stick by her, wear her down with my presence and she'll just let me hang around forever. I need sleep, clearly. To simply stick by her would be the cowards way out, and amongst the very many hundreds of promises I made silently to Lisbon while sitting by her beside – one of the main ones is that I'm not going to be a coward about my feelings anymore.

She has been within the walls of this hospital for twelve days, three of those unconscious and I can't emphasise strongly enough quite how those days have changed me. I'm anxious to get away from here to start putting those changes into actions.

I've rented an apartment for Lisbon to recuperate in; the very first action I hope will make Lisbon happy. And if not happy, then at least comfortable for a little while.

Her worried brothers were here for several days, but now they have returned to their own lives. It was heartening to watch Lisbon with them; at once protective and wonderfully tender. And then she became hilariously mad at them for coming all the way to Sacramento to see her when she was "fine". She really is an extraordinarily frustrating woman at times. Beautiful though, and I want to tell her of both those observations over and over till she tires of it.

It was good to see Lisbon with her family these last days, healing for me in ways that I can hardly give voice to. Which is a stupidly selfish thing to say; I should be worried about Lisbon's healing not mine – but somewhere along the way in the last few years I think both our fates and healing have become inexorably connected. I tried to communicate that to her brothers in a less girly way, and they bought it enough to entrust me with her care so I hope Lisbon will too.

"Jane, you are pacing – I thought you were going to bring the car round."

I turn to her prepared to give her a smart ass remark, but all I can do is smile like an idiot. She is dressed in sweat pants and a large green sweatshirt; she looks tiny and so young and lovely. My overwhelming reaction though is to notice how beautiful she looks under the unforgiving lights of this hospital entrance way. Her skin is very pale, all of her freckles standing out and emphasising her loveliness; her eyes huge and luminesce, and the purest green I have ever seen.

"Don't worry Lisbon, I am illegally parked outside and ready to go."

She grumbles as I take her small bag from her, but I feel her smile as I settle my free hand against the small of her back as we walk the short distance to my car.

"I can't believe you're making an injured woman ride in this death trap."

"Hush woman and get in the car so I can get you out of here."

I dump her bag in the back seat as I help Lisbon into the front. She tries to hide her grimace of pain as she sits down, but I know her knife wounds will trouble her for many weeks to come. By the end of today I want to have convinced her that this is something she should be sharing with me, not hiding. I ignore her complaints as I fasten her seatbelt, kissing her cheek softly before I close the door and go round to my side of the car to join her.

"So where are you taking me, Jane? Please don't tell me you've bought a sofa bed for my office at the CBI."

I keep my eyes on the road and while I know she is half joking I think Teresa is still a little afraid that I am only half in this. Only time will prove to her otherwise. I reach over and take her left hand, careful of her still healing wounds. I bring her knuckles to my lips and kiss her, something else I intend to do so often she will tire of it.

"Of course not Teresa, we are going nowhere near work until you have recovered enough to tackle suspects again. We're going downtown to a quiet apartment complex where you can rest."

I return my hand to the wheel and realise all over again how nervous Teresa is because she places her own hand on top of mine.

"I feel like an idiot not going back to my apartment, I feel like I'm giving in. I should be strong enough to forget what happened and go back to my own home."

"Sweetheart, I'll never forget what happened and I would be delighted if you never set foot in that place again. You're the least idiotic person I have ever met, and you are absolutely permitted to get over what has happened in whatever way you choose. Do you want to go home, because if you do then I'll turn the car round and take you there? Whatever you want, all you have to do is tell me."

"I don't want to go back there."

She whispers these words to me, clearly ashamed of her reluctance to return to the scene of her abduction.

"Good, I don't either and I certainly don't want to be apart from you – so we can both go here together."

"Are you staying with me Jane?"

Her voice is small again; I don't ever want to listen to her talk to me with such anxiety in her words again. I've been planning this for days, but I'd forgotten that Teresa has not been privy to all of it. She has been concerned with surviving surgeries and stitches and pain, not my choices of whether an apartment with a balcony or two bathrooms would be better for her.

"Teresa, I'm staying until you kick me out."

I lift her fingers again and kiss her knuckles as we turn off the road to enter the gated apartment complex we will be staying at until Teresa decides where she want to go.

"Are you kidding? I can't live here Jane, look at this place. This is too expensive, what have you done?"

"I'm certainly not kidding. You most certainly can live here, and expense doesn't matter to me Teresa. This is what you need; it's private, and secure, and away from the press who have trying to speak to you for the last week or so. This is no less than you deserve, so please don't worry."

She is silent as I park the car and I am suddenly terrified that I have gone too far. I didn't think this would be so overwhelming I was only concerned about giving Teresa some place safe to sleep.

"Thank you."

Her words are so soft I could almost imagine I invented them, but her hand in mine as she presses her lips tenderly against my own makes it wonderfully real.

"You are so very welcome my dear."

I lead her into the building, my arm around her shoulder as I support her and simply try and stay close to her. We get the elevator up to the top floor and I escort Lisbon to what will be our home base for the next several weeks. Actually it can be home for however long Lisbon wants it to be. I had actually considered buying this place, but thought that might turn her into angry Lisbon. Now, I'm a fan of every variation of Lisbon but I don't plan on seeing her angry till after she is healthy again.

I walk us to the apartment, let us in and dump Lisbon's bag as I hover and let her come to terms with her new surroundings. It's bigger than her place, quite expensively furnished but it's not too out of place with what I would imagine Lisbon would be comfortable with. I know she'll enjoy drinking her morning coffee on the balcony and I must confess I imagine myself in that picture, drinking my tea beside her.

"You didn't buy this place did you?"

"No. Do you want me to?"

"No. You really would do that wouldn't you? Trust me to fall in love with a man who doesn't know how to exercise restraint."

She has that little line above her eyebrow that makes her look so charmingly grumpy; and she looks tired if I'm honest but all of that fades into nothingness when she says those words.

"I love you too Teresa."

I do what I have been waiting to since we left the hospital; I place my arms around her and hug her body gently against mine. I am worried about causing her discomfort but her soft sighs against my chest suggest tiredness rather than pain.

We smile at each other for a few moments, silently recognising that this just might be the beginning we have been waiting so long for.

"Thank you for doing this for me. Thank you for taking care of me, and for staying by me in the hospital."

I take her hand in mine and bring her knuckles to my lips to kiss them again; I think I might have decided that this is our thing. Her hands are lovely to kiss, and I am going to do it as often as pleases her.

"I know you've been wanting to get away from your hospital bed, but you do look exhausted my dear – can I persuade you to be sensible and to try and get some rest."

"It terrifies me Jane that you are trying to persuade me to be sensible."

"Maybe you'll have to get used to."

I grin at her, enjoying that we get to tease each other like this. Enjoying very much that I can look at her with unguarded affection as often as I want.

"Where's the bedroom, Jane, I'll be sensible."

"Well there's two, both upstairs; I think I've picked the nicest one for you. Grace and Jill agreed with me, the view is lovely."

"Grace and Jill were here?"

"Yes, they went to your apartment to bring over some of your things. They brought clothes, and your sheets and towels. I'm not sure what else, just your things to make you feel more comfortable."

I am rewarded with a little smile of pure happiness and the press of her lips against my own. I put my hand on her right hip and hold her to me a beat longer so I can prolong our affection. I'd forgotten what happiness tasted like, it unspeakably good to remember.

I lead her slowly up the stairs and into what will be her bedroom for however long she wants it to be.

"Oh, Jane thank you. This is lovely, and too expensive. I don't need you to waste your money on all this. Please don't think you have to. "

"Teresa, I know I don't have to. You know I never do anything I don't want to do. I told you, I want you to feel safe, and I thought you would here, so this is where we're staying. Now it's time for you to get into bed."

"Really?"

"Yes, humour me, you know you're tired. Jill made the bed up in your sheets and quilt, so you'll be comfortable and cosy."

"Aren't you staying?"

Her eyes are large in her tired face, and I think she genuinely believes I am about to leave her. I really do have some explaining to do if she thinks that even possible for me.

"Of course I'm staying; I have a bedroom down the hall ready for me. Nothing would make me happier than being here with you, but I didn't want to presume too much."

"I want you to stay in here with me."

"Excellent my dear, I would have been pining for you down the corridor if I couldn't be here."

She smacks me a little on the chest, and for a few moments it's always like old times. But this time she pulls the punch in deference to her injured hand.

"I can't believe I'm ready to sleep after spending so long in a hospital bed."

"You didn't do a lot of resting there, so this is where you get to rest Teresa."

I lean forward and kiss her cheek again, just because I can, both of us smiling like idiots.

"I'll meet you back here, Jane, though if the bathroom is as beautiful as this room I might just sleep in the tub."

So this is an odd experience, I am getting ready to go to bed with a woman. I almost said another woman, but I can no more label Lisbon that than I could my Angela. They are both just the women of my life, I wouldn't have come to love one if the other hadn't been so horribly taken from life – but I can't change any of this but am determined to live it. I would happily have lived the rest of my life with Angela, but that option was taken from me. Now I will happily live the rest of my life with Lisbon if she will let me.

I quickly go down the hall to the other bedroom where I have left my clothes. I hang my suit in the wardrobe and put on some pyjamas, the first pair I've owned in years. I bought three pairs actually, and this little purchase gave me more pleasure than it really should. I think because it meant I had somewhere to come and sleep at the end of the day, maybe even the beginnings of somewhere to call home.

I go back to our bedroom, and am confronted with a red faced Lisbon sitting at the end of the bed with what suspiciously like tears in her eyes.

"Hey, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm being stupid. I'm sorry to ask, but I need your help."

I sit beside her, our thighs close together as I lean down and kiss her shoulder through the soft fabric of her sweatshirt.

"You never have to be sorry to ask me for help, you just have to tell me what it is."

I watch as her lovely cheeks turn darker pink, usually an indication of her embarrassment but I have no idea what that could mean now.

"The nurses helped me a little in the hospital to get ready, but I thought I would be okay to get ready for bed."

"Okay, so you're just going to sleep in your sweats, that's okay isn't it Lisbon?"

"Yeah, that's not the issue. I feel about thirteen asking you this, but I need your help to get my bra off."

Oh.

Okay.

"Are you trying to seduce my Lisbon?"

"Don't be an ass; remember I can still smack you around when I'm back to normal. I didn't want it to be like this, you know?"

I kiss her shoulder again, ridiculously thankful that I get to witness Lisbon at her most beguiling.

"I think we should be thankful we're both here. We have plenty time for this to be how we imagined it would be, right now we're sleeping and cuddling – which I am very happy about."

"I don't remember agreeing to cuddling, you're a girl Jane."

"Undoubtedly, now woman let's get you ready for bed."

I move from where I've been sitting to kneel on the floor in front of Lisbon, her eyes never leaving my own.

"Okay, can you lift your arms so we can get your shirt off?"

She nods her agreement and with as much gentleness as I possess I help Lisbon out of her shirt. I stifle a groan as I see her damaged body. Most of her torso is wrapped in bandages, covering the worst of her injuries. The rest of her body has the remains of bruises, yellowing now as they start to fade. I lean forward and kiss her softly over her heart, unspeakably thankful that it still beats. I reach around her slim body to unclasp her bra and ease it down her bruised arms before nonchalantly throwing it over my left shoulder.

"Nice, Romeo, now can I have my shirt back."

I really am remarkably lucky to love this woman, and luckier still that she appears to share my affection. I lean forward once more, determined to communicate my devotion and perhaps more subtly my desire. This time when I kiss her heart, it's her soft skin that I rest my lips on. I indulge this for a few short moments, and then smile against her skin as I tenderly help Lisbon back into her shirt.

"You think you're pretty cute, don't you Jane?"

"Well, I know you think I am."

"Get in bed before I change my mind."

"Yes ma'am. Do you have a preferred side?"

She laughs a little as she shakes her head at me as she climbs under the soft blankets and quilt. It takes me about two seconds to crawl in after her.

She is lying on her back, trying to find a comfortable position as I lie on my side and settle down to watch her.

"Can I do anything to make you more comfortable Teresa?"

"No it's okay, just feels a little like I'm a stranger in my own body. It's getting easier to bear but I hate having to pop so many pain killers just to get by."

"Would it be easier if I wasn't here, I can sleep on the floor if that'll give you more room."

She sighs in what I assume is frustration as she slowly moves to lie on her side, on her good side that doesn't have quite so many stitches. It's nice though to be like this, we can share a pillow and I get to look at her lovely face as we try and fall asleep.

"Stay here you idiot. You're not spending all this money on an apartment and then sleeping on the floor."

"Teresa, you're going to have to stop thinking about the money. I have money, it can sit in the bank or I can use a little of it to keep you safe here."

She moves slightly closer to me, our faces are almost touching now as she looks near to sleep. She's resisting though, which means she wants to talk before she gives in and rests.

"Patrick, this feels an awful lot like we're hiding. I should be at work, or at least available to them. You should be there too. I feel like I'm neglecting who I am."

"Sweetheart, you're not neglecting who you are; you are getting over what happened to you. I'll lock the door and hide the key if I have to. The doctors won't permit you to go back to work yet, and I'm simply enforcing their rules. You're owed this Lisbon, we both are. And you need this, and you know I do too. So maybe we are hiding, but the company is perfectly wonderful and I am going to enjoy this little escape while we have it."

"So that's it, we stay here and everything's okay?"

"Of course not, I'm sure there will be bad days, or nights when the nightmares remind us of everything we are trying to leave behind."

This time it's Teresa who kisses me, and I am reminded all over again of her strength and will to survive. And the softness of her lips; always, always the softness of her lips.

"I want you to try and sleep Patrick, I wasn't joking the other day – you're too thin and you look exhausted. If I am hiding here to get better, then you have to attempt to as well."

"I will."

"And we can talk after we've had some rest, promise me that."

"Of course we can sweetheart. There is a lot we should talk about. I know we need to come to terms with the last weeks, but you know there is more than that. I have a house in Malibu that I need your help with; I'll need your strength to help me put it on the market to sell. I'm going to need your patience and strength and probably forgiveness when I do that, I can't imagine I am going to let go of it gracefully. And then I'm going to need your help with finding a way to take my wedding ring off, and to properly let go of my marriage to Angela. I'm sorry, but I'm going to depend so much on your patience again my darling."

She smiles a little sadly at me, kisses both of my cheeks, my forehead and then buries her face against my neck, her lips resting on my skin. If I get to go to sleep like this for the rest of my life then I am truly the most fortunate of men.

"We have time to sort through all of this, Patrick, we have plenty of time."

Her breath against my skin is soothing and I believe might become as necessary to me as breathing. I carefully move my arms around her, mindful of causing her pain but needing to be this close to her as she drifts of to sleep.

I close my eyes and rest.