The morning after doesn't go very well.
AN: Why yes, I am updating in a timely manner! But unlike last chapter which was like showing up fifteen minutes late with Starbucks for everyone, this one is more like showing up a few minutes early and handing out cups full of bees without warning anyone. So consider this your warning.
Rose snuggled into John's side after she rolled off of him. They were both sweaty and breathing hard and she was delightfully sore. Waking him up with a kiss had been a wonderful idea and she smiled into his skin as she thought back on the previous night and this morning. Her fantasies hadn't done him justice in the slightest.
Her smile widened as she thought back on their successful heist. They had worked together seamlessly when it came down to the critical moments, even if they'd had their difficulties in the days leading up to the job. Basking in the afterglow of amazing sex and the memory of the near-perfect robbery, Rose wasn't sure she wanted to go back to working alone.
She propped herself up so she could look down at her lover. "You know, we're rather good at this."
John expression went from sleepily content to insufferably smug in a fraction of a second as he lazily flicked his gaze down to eye where her breasts were pressing against his chest. "I'd say we're fantastic at this," he drawled, slipping the hand he had on her back down to rest just above the curve of her bum.
Rose rolled her eyes. "Wasn't talking about the sex, you git. Already knew we'd be fantastic at that."
"Did you now?"
"Would've found out for sure a lot earlier if you hadn't been such a bastard a year ago," she pointed out.
"Just built the tension," he protested.
"Riiight," Rose answered, sarcasm dripping from the single word. "But I was talkin' about us working together to take on the bank. We're really good at this bank robbing lark."
"Hardly counts as a lark when we were only doing it to help Jack," John said, trying to keep her away from the suggestion he had a feeling she was about to make.
"Semantics," she replied, biting back a smile. "But maybe we should work together on something like this again sometime."
She felt John stiffen and saw all emotion disappear from his face. It was an instantaneous transformation from the lover she'd spent the night with to the prickly hacker she fought with. Rose sighed when a beat passed and he didn't appear to be making any move to answer her. She pushed herself away from him and rolled out of the bed and started moving about the room, collecting her clothes from where they'd been thrown last night. She wasn't up to dealing with his hangups yet, not when she was still sweaty and smelling like sex and John.
"I'm gonna get a shower while you think about it," she said finally as she walked out of the room, feeling his eyes on her even though he didn't say a word.
John watched her leave and then drew a hand down his face. He'd known she was going to suggest continuing their partnership and there was no good way to turn her down. The fact of the matter remained that he worked alone and this was a walkaway, had always been a walkaway. He'd been entertaining the hope that they could have a few more days before she brought it up because he was long past denying that he wanted her in his bed.
(He was still trying to deal with the fact that he might want her in his life.)
There was no chance she would ever come back if she walked out when he told her that working with her hadn't changed his policy about working alone. She was the closest he'd come to being tempted to work with someone else in a long, long time but there was no obligation to Jack keeping them together anymore and that meant he was free to cut ties. There was a small part of him that suggested he could try working with her, that maybe she was worth it, that maybe whatever they were together was worth it but John squashed that voice ruthlessly. He wasn't changing his ways just because Rose asked.
Groaning, he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He might as well go start the coffee. He had a feeling he was going to need the caffeine for the upcoming conversation. He pulled on a pair of jeans and a jumper, putting on his armor instead of the t-shirt and pajama pants he normally wore on lazy mornings.
As he stared at the coffee pot he wondered if he might also need a splash of whiskey in his coffee to deal with the storm that he could feel brewing.
He was halfway through his cup of whiskey-free coffee when Rose walked into the kitchen fully dressed.
She ignored him in favor of pouring herself a cup.
John watched as she poured in milk and stirred in sugar, moving around his kitchen without ever looking at him. Apparently she'd used her time in the shower to think as well and whatever she had come up with didn't appear to be in his favor.
Finally she leaned against the counter opposite of him and made eye contact as she took her first sip.
Rose lowered her mug, cradling it in her hands to enjoy the warmth emanating from it. "So, did you think about what I said?"
Her voice was devoid of any emotion and John almost winced. That didn't bode well at all.
"This is a walkaway, Rose. I work best alone and that hasn't changed."
Rose didn't flinch or break eye contact as she took another sip of coffee. "I thought that would be your answer but I hoped you might surprise me so I had to ask."
She paused long enough for John to hope that maybe that was the end of it and they could part on semi-amicable terms. Rose didn't let that illusion live for very long. "So do I get to know why you're ending this partnership before it can get off the ground or is that too personal?" She sneered as she spat the last word at him, the expression contorting her face.
"Already told you. I work alone. I made an exception to help Jack but that's it," John replied, bristling.
"That's an excuse, not a reason," Rose shot back. "But you don't see that, do you? You've been using it as a shield for so long, trying to keep people away that you don't even know why you do it anymore."
"Just because you don't know something doesn't mean I don't. Just means I'm not sharing."
"Yeah, got that. You do that a lot, the whole not sharing bit."
John's eyes dropped down to the marks on her neck that he'd put there the night before, mind briefly going off on a tangent about how he really didn't like to share. He returned his gaze to her unwavering one. "I've got my reasons."
Rose set her mug down with a violent thump before crossing her arms over her chest. "You keep sayin' that but I haven't heard them yet."
"That's because I'm not required to share them with you no matter what you seem to think." John could feel his temper rising and tried to tamp it down.
"Oh right, because you don't trust me. Have you noticed that your 'reasons' are all just circular logic? Can never get a straight answer out of you."
"Maybe you shouldn't ask so many questions. You knew from the beginning that this was never anything more than one job, one night." John lashed out, losing the battle against his temper. "Why are you so intent on making it more than it is?"
Rose looked like she'd been slapped. Her mouth stayed open for a moment before she clenched her jaw and narrowed her eyes at him, taking a step forward. "You know what, I don't even know why I thought working with you would be a good idea. You're an arrogant arse who can't ever be bothered to even think of compromising." Her voice was getting louder as she continued. "I bet it didn't even occur to you that I always work alone too, did it? You know why? Because I was willing to do whatever it took to help a friend and not complain about the inconvenience of having a partner."
Rose paused to take a breath and John cut in. "Inconvenience isn't quite the word I would use," he quipped. "Obviously I was willing to do whatever it took as well since I agreed to work with you." The condescension was thick and he saw the hurt flash through Rose's eyes as she took a step back and he felt guilty for a moment before the hurt was replaced by anger once more.
"Right, because you're some high and mighty doctor who has all sorts of high tech toys and obviously that somehow makes you better than me with my pretty face and lack of A-levels. Well you can stop thinkin' that right now because there's no way you would have been able to pull off either the Agency job or the bank robbery without me. And you seemed more than okay with my skills as a thief yesterday so don't even try to act like I'm beneath you because I'm not."
Rose heaved in a breath and glared at him, fire in her eyes. "You told me the other day that the world didn't revolve around me but I think it's you that needs to hear that. The world doesn't revolve around you, John. It's not gonna explode if you occasionally answer a question about if you like to travel or remember to eat while working."
"I don't like talking about my past and I don't like talking about myself, is that a problem?"
"It is when you make it such a big fucking deal! Tryin' to have a conversation with you is bloody exhausting because I never know when you're going to shut me out for asking a simple question. You could just brush it off but, no, you make it seem like my fault for daring to ask a question and that's not fair." Rose paused, meeting the storm in his eyes with her own fury. "For all I care you could just lie and I'd probably never know. Would be better than just shutting down."
"I don't lie," John gritted out. He set his coffee cup down in the sink and stalked towards the sitting room, figuring Rose would follow if she was intent on continuing this.
"No, you just withhold information," Rose answered as she reduced the distance he'd put between them. "We already went over that, though. We're talking about your inability to have anythin' resembling a normal conversation and you're just proving my point."
"This," he gestured between the two of them, "is not a conversation."
"Which was my point," Rose said caustically. "You refuse to talk about anything so it all gets bottled up until you drive people away or end up yelling at them!"
"You're the one who started yelling!"
"That's because you were being unreasonable! I tried to start a conversation, you weren't interested."
"Still not interested, in case you were wondering," he snarked.
"God, you're so frustrating!"
"Well if I'm annoying you so much, you can leave. Nothing's stopping you," John wanted to stop the words coming out of his mouth but he'd already gone too far.
"No." Rose stared him down. "You're still not getting it."
"What am I not getting? Please inform me."
"I want to work with you, you idiot. I wasn't kidding when I said we worked well together when we're not taking shots at each other. Our skills are complementary and when you're not being a total arse we actually get along. Together we could pull bigger jobs than we'd be able to separately and be able to help more people."
"Hate to burst your bubble but I'm not gonna change my mind and suddenly buy into all your talk about trust and openness that you seem to need. I have re-"
"Reasons," Rose finished for him. "Yeah, heard all about those remember. You keep telling me that you don't trust and you don't talk about anything and it's all because of these mysterious bloody reasons."
"You wouldn't understand even if I wanted to tell you," he claimed, condescension clear on his face again as he looked down at her.
"How would you know?" Rose exclaimed with a bitter laugh. "You don't know the first thing about me, John, not really. You never thought to ask because you were so intent on avoiding anythin' like a personal conversation that you never bothered to try and dig past the surface layer to figure out who I am."
She cocked her head as she looked at him, brushing the hair out of her face. "Because you know what? I don't talk about my past either. I like to keep it to myself because no one needs to hear my sob story, but what I don't do is make a big deal out of it like you do. It's part of me and I can deal with that." She shook her head, pitying look on her face. "Obviously you can't. Learn how to answer basic questions without makin' people feel guilty for asking or makin' them curious about what you'd like to keep private. Works wonders for making people like you."
This time it was John who looked like he'd been slapped. He was so used to Rose preaching trust and easily sharing tidbits of her life like that she used to smoke and wanted to travel that he never considered that she was hiding something in her past as well. Maybe she knew what she talking about.
Rose didn't wait for him to find words to answer her. "Consider that grifter lesson number one for you," she said, turning her back on him like she was going back towards the kitchen.
John narrowed his eyes at her back, irritation driving him forward when he should have conceded the point. "That what you've been doing this whole time. Conning me?" John asked, voice smooth over the rough edges of the anger he was clinging to.
Rose spun around, eyes flashing in warning. "Is that really what you think?"
He shrugged, overly casual in a way designed to further infuriate the thief. "Maybe, who knows. Can never trust a thief or a con artist and you're both and I don't trust anyone anyways. Plus you just pointed out that you're not always entirely truthful."
"That's not what I said!"
"'S what it sounded like."
"No, I told you that there was no reason to make your oh so secretive past a big deal because if you don't fucking act like it's this big secret, no one will think twice about it! That's a long way from saying that I've been lying to you."
John pressed his lips into a hard line and raised his eyebrows at her.
Rose advanced on him, the same look in her eyes that there had been when he compared her to a wolf the other day. "I have put up with you and your attitude because I saw a good man underneath all of your secrets and lack of trust and deflections but I learned a long time ago not to let people put me down like you're trying to do, so you better think carefully before you continue talking."
John stood his ground. "Oh that's good, threatenin' me and complimenting me in the same sentence. Spot on for inspiring trust, Rose." His voice was low and dangerous, eyes hard as he met the fire burning in hers. "But the thing is…you're wrong. I'm not a good man and that's why I don't trust and why I don't talk about my past.
"Trusting the wrong people caused a lot of trouble and I lost people I cared about." He paused, knowing he should stop talking and knowing that he wouldn't, not with the anger and frustration still zipping through his veins. "Not that I would expect you to understand."
Rose's face hardened and John knew that he had finally stepped over whatever line she had drawn as too far. Too late he remembered what had happened when he'd questioned her loyalty to Jack. The fire in her eyes turned to ice and he desperately wanted to back away from her. Rose was supposed to be golden fire and heat and it was terrifying to see her turn cold.
"Don't you dare," she said after a tense few seconds of silence, voice as frigid as her eyes. He could hear the anger snapping just below the surface, the raging water under winter's ice. "Don't you dare tell me that I don't understand loss. You know nothing about me, John Smith. You know nothing about what my life has been like outside of the few days we spent working together and you'd do well to remember that."
She started to walk away from him before whipping back around to face him. "Actually, I don't care what you remember. You're right, you're not a good man and I'm done trying to find one somewhere underneath all the shit you've piled on yourself. And you know what? You're a coward. It takes courage to open up to people after you've been betrayed or after you've lost someone. You just shut down and shut everyone out because you refuse to take a risk and you're going to wither away to nothing if you keep that up."
"I've learned from my mistakes, Rose. And that means working to not make them again, not opening myself up to make them again. That's just idiocy." He spoke slowly, like he needed to in order to make sure she understood.
Rose narrowed her eyes, pinning him in place with her fury and her disdain. "I'm done with you, John. I'd wish you good luck figuring out how to be a decent human being but I'm not sure you can pull your head out of your arse long enough to see the way."
With that parting shot, Rose breezed past him, head held high and not giving him a second look as she grabbed her bag from where they both had dropped them by the door upon entering the flat and walked out the door.
John was left wondering how he'd managed to fuck things up quite so completely with no trace of her presence left expect rumpled sheets that smelled like sex and her and an almost-cold cup of coffee on his kitchen counter.