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CHAPTER FOUR

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"Bella!"

I turned to see Angela scowling at me from the other side of the counter. I looked down to see I was dressed in a bright-pink retro-style diner uniform with a black cotton apron. Renee's was neatly embroidered in black on the left-hand of my chest and Bella on the other.

I shook my head to clear it, trying to figure out where I was and why.

"You're in your own little world so much lately." She was frowning still, but I could see the concern on her face.

"Sorry, I guess I'm just a little distracted," I said truthfully.

She smiled finally. "I'm not surprised with everything going on."

I tilted my head to the side in question.

"Edward's promotion," she stated.

That was something I should know about. I should also know why I was dressed as a diner employee.

Angela huffed. "Get yourself a coffee and go get sorted. Renee will flip if she sees you having another episode. You know you're on thin ice as it is."

I nodded, pretending to know what she was talking about. I poured myself a coffee from the pot under Angela's watchful eye. I gave her a weak smile as I headed into the kitchen. I put the mug on the sink before leaning onto the counter, holding the weight of my head in my hands.

What's happening?

I remembered the pills, sleeping, fantasies, but they were all faded and fuzzy like an old family movie ravaged by time.

"Resting on my time again are we, Bella?" My mother's voice was sharp, a tone I'd never before heard her use on me. I turned quickly, bringing my hands behind my back.

"Mom?" I asked quietly.

The lady before me was my mother, but not. She looked like my mother, except all of those tiny things that made her and I look alike were somehow missing.

"Mom?" she repeated, laughing heartily. "It's been a long time since anyone has called me that dear."

It took a moment for me to comprehend what she was saying.

She isn't my mom?

"I've been more than lenient with you since the accident. I've even ignored your little blackouts as best as I can, but you need to snap out of this funk, honey. But just know," she pointed an inch-long cotton-candy pink fingernail at me, "I won't be this supportive forever. You've got two minutes."

I nodded, blinking back the tears that threatened. I was feeling even more overwhelmed than I had in my other life, before taking the pill that brought me here. I had come for Edward and yet he wasn't here. Instead, I was being raked over the coals by Renee, who apparently wasn't my mother.

I turned back to the sink, splashing my face with water to try to clear my thoughts. Slowly my memories began to filter into my mind. I was with Edward this afternoon. After he'd gone to work, I'd spent some time alone at home before getting ready for my job. At the diner. At Renee's.

"Thank goodness," I murmured to myself.

I was starting to think I was definitely going crazy. Maybe I should have taken Edward up on his offer to take me back to Dr Laurent. I shook my head and splashed my face once more. I stared at my distorted face in the stainless silver bench.

You are not eighteen, you are a grown woman. It's time to get over these visions.

I nodded before straightening out my apron and heading back to work.

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I smelled like grease. The stench of oil and fat from the kitchen seemed to cling to my hair and the fabric of my uniform. It permeated into my skin, clogging and blocking every tiny pore. I knew I would have to go home and scrub thoroughly to rid myself of the feeling of being suffocated.

It wasn't like there anything specifically unusual about the putrid scent. I smelled the same every night after finishing my shift. It was a link though; one thing I could hold on to as evidence that this was the real world, and that the other world—the one with vampires and heartbreakers—was the illusion.

I drove my little Yaris home, ready to shed my filthy clothes and step into a nice warm shower. My feet were killing me, yet another thing that proved this was reality. It didn't seem likely that I would fantasize about wearing plain, flat shoes all day and having swollen ankles after being on my feet for seven hours straight.

I pushed the remote for the garage door, and sat waiting for it to open. I noticed the absence of Edward's car immediately. I had been hoping that he'd be home to greet me. I had known that his upcoming promotion would mean longer hours, but I hadn't expected that to mean he would arrive home after me. It was almost midnight after all. Surely there weren't that many sales made at that hour?

I pushed it out of my mind though. I knew he would be home as early as he could be. He probably just expected me to be at the diner for a little while longer. I kicked off my shoes, put the key on the hook by the door and headed to the bedroom, already stripping off my uniform on the way.

By the time I reached the bathroom, all I had to do was turn on the water and climb into the thick stream. I groaned as the warm water rushed over my tired muscles. I rested my head back against the tiles and let the water flow down my chest, making a little river between my breasts.

"Mmm, that looks tasty."

I shrieked and jumped a mile as I heard Edward's voice. I had thought I was still alone in the house. He was laughing heartily in the knowledge that he had got me.

"Jerk," I chuckled while I waited for my pounding heart to slow just a little.

"You make it too easy."

I pouted.

He began pulling off his shirt.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I would have thought that was obvious? I'm getting into the shower with a hot woman."

"Is that something you do a lot?" I teased.

"Oh yeah," he murmured as he started unzipping his pants. "All the time."

He slid open the glass door and stepped in toward me, grinning. Suddenly his lips were on mine and his hands were massaging the small of my back lightly. His gentle fingers changed to gripping hooks, pulling my body tightly against his. His hard length pressed against my stomach. His lips attacked mine relentlessly and I was powerless to stop him. I didn't want to stop him. His hands grabbed and groped and all I could do was moan as my body responded to his pleasurable touch.

We finally crawled—naked—under the warm covers of our bed some time after one in the morning. I curled against Edward as he wrapped his arm around me, holding me securely.

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I opened my eyes slowly, not sure what I was going to wake up to. A pressure rested over me, constricting my chest tightly and making it difficult to breathe. It was hot, almost too hot. A weight rested against my back and as I tilted my hips back, they met another body. A warm body which issued a low, throaty moan as my ass met his hard member.

He pulled his arm tighter around me, holding me in place as his hands slipped across my breasts, teasing each of my nipples in turn. I pushed my head back against his warm chest, his other hand twisted underneath me to come to rest on my neck. He splayed his fingers along my throat and over my chin, tilting my head upwards into him as he bent his head to kiss my shoulder.

He rocked his hip against mine, as he pulled every part of my body closer to him, sending waves of pleasure cascading through me. The hand that massaged my chest slowly trailed down my body until he captured my thigh. In one swift movement, he pulled my leg backward against him and thrust forward into me. My body was bent like a bow around him as he moved inside of me. His fingers danced across my skin, caressing and pinching as his mouth nipped and sucked at my neck.

As his thrusts became more pronounced, his fingers made their way back down my body, heading teasingly toward my clit. A small cry escaped me when they found their spot and he began to massage tiny circles against the sensitive area. My hips began to shift of their own accord and Edward became a man possessed.

His fingers held my hips tightly as he rolled, shifting his entire weight on top of me and pinning me tightly against the mattress. He grunted with exertion as he thrust into me roughly. My body was shifted up the bed further with each one only to be pulled back into place by his vice-like hands.

"Fuck, Bella," he groaned, his breath warm and wet along my neck. He pushed himself upright a little, forcing his legs into the space between mine and gripping the headboard with one hand for extra power. His other hand secured my pelvis in exactly the right place for him to pound again and again, each time sending me further into the oblivion that awaited me. The sheets—peaked as a result of Edward's earlier pattern of thrust and return—were trapped between my body and the bed. They rubbed against my clit as Edward continued his relentless drive into me. All too soon, it was all too much. I fell apart beneath him, and collapsed even further into the sheets as wave after wave of my climax crashed over me, leeching my muscles of all of their strength.

Edward wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling my hips with him and he shifted into a kneeling position. He held my body against his and slammed into me until his own climax overtook him. He leaned forward over me, dropping his head onto my shoulder before we both collapsed into a laughing, panting pile on the bed.

"Good morning," he murmured as he kissed my cheek softly.

I just moaned in response. I wasn't ready to break out of our cocoon and face the day just yet.

"I've got to head into work."

I turned and gave him a pout. "But it's Saturday."

"I know, but I've got a deal that I need to keep on top of. I'll be a few hours, tops."

"I'll be at work in a few hours," I complained.

"I'll be home when you finish."

"Fine, if you have to," I said.

"I do. I'm sorry, but I promise I'll make it up to you." He smirked and I knew what we just finished would feature heavily in his plan to make it up to me.

"Okay," I relented. "Go if you have to."

He leaned into me, planting one last sweet kiss on my forehead before climbing out of bed and heading for the shower. I debated getting up before deciding to take a few more moments to luxuriate in the warm bed.

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I smoothed the creases out of my apron as I stepped out of my Yaris and headed inside the diner.

"You seem a little more, well more yourself tonight," Angela said with a soft smile.

"I'm feeling a lot better."

It had been almost a full day since I'd slipped back into my delusions of vampires and rain.

I settled straight into my normal work routine, feeling more secure with every additional minute that I didn't slip into a trance and dream of other places. I worked my allocated tables well, smiling and flirting appropriately to ensure I got maximum tips. I didn't want to work in the job forever and I needed lots of tips in order to give it up, although Edward's promotion would no doubt help too.

A new customer slid into one of the booths in my section. I headed to his side, flashing a smile that I hope would earn me just a few extra dollars.

"Hello, my name is Bella and I'll be your—" My words died at my lips when he looked up at me.

Unusual eyes, deep amber pools, stared up at me from a face of cool, hard porcelain. Deep purple circles rested under his eyes. He smiled up at me with a set of perfect, glistening white teeth. I didn't recognize him, but my body went slack and my brain fuzzed over as I recognized the signs of a vampire. My pen clattered to the floor and the sound snapped me out of my daze.

I shook my head.

He's just an attractive man that looks a little bit unusual. That's all.

I ducked down to pick up my pen, but the stranger beat me to it. Our faces were inches apart as he held the pen up for me. His dark hair framed his face, his fringe flopping across his eyes. His jaw was perfectly shaped, similar to Edward's—or at least, the vampire Edward I'd dreamed up in my delusion.

"Sorry I startled you," he said, his voice honey-sweet and perfect in my ears.

"That's okay," I murmured back, flushing so much that my face probably matched my uniform. "You just reminded me of…" what was I supposed to say? A vampire. "Someone I used to know."

"Someone nice, I hope." He laid the pen in my hand and smiled at me once more.

I wasn't sure what to say. I stood slowly, wishing my shaking hands would still. I was certifiably crazy; my delusions were now bleeding into my everyday life.

"I'm Kieran," he said.

"It's lovely to meet you, Kieran."

I plastered a smile on my face before slipping back into my waitress persona. He placed a large order, which surprised me until I remembered the tray full of 'props' that Edward, the vampire Edward, grabbed each lunchtime in the cafeteria. Maybe it was the same thing.

I watched with particular interest as Kieran surveyed the tray I had placed in front of him. He smiled and gave me a little salute. Then he flicked open his newspaper and ate one handed. I could see that he was genuinely eating. Not just a single bite like Edward had taken with the pizza.

I shook my head to clear the thoughts that were running through it. I almost laughed aloud at the absurdity. I needed to get my head back on track and stay grounded in the real world. For Edward, and for our life together.

I hovered around Kieran just a little more than any other patron even though I was certain there was no such thing as vampires. I worked hard to convince myself he was just pale, but otherwise normal.

After he finished, he handed me some notes in payment. His fingers brushed against my palm and I blew out a little breath of relief. His skin was regular room temperature and soft, not ice-cold and rock hard.

"Keep the change for your troubles," he murmured as he brushed by me to leave the booth.

I smiled genuinely and thanked him.

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I'd spent almost four months cemented in one reality. Each night my last thoughts before I fell asleep were centered on whether I would wake in my delusional world of pain and confusion. Each morning when I felt the warmth and weight of Edward I experienced a moment of perfect bliss. I felt content when he wrapped his arms around me or kissed me softly.

His promotion kept him away from me for longer and longer, but whenever he came home, he was more amorous than ever. We spent hours twisting and writhing in one another's arms; all arching backs and panting breaths.

Besides the time I spent in Edward's arms, my favorite time of the day quickly became the time when Kieran would come into Renee's. At first he came in sporadically; a day here and there, never at the same time. As the weeks wore on, he began to come in almost daily, an hour before closing time.

He always greeted me warmly and was a very generous tipper. Over the weeks, we started to talk about other things: books, movies, and everything else that interested us. It turned out we had a lot in common. Each time he came in, I took a moment to remind myself that despite looking similar to the vampires in my hallucinations, he was a living breathing human; each day it became easier to convince myself. I had seen him eat often enough to testify to that. It wasn't a carefully constructed illusion of eating either; he heartily ploughed through everything he ordered, often filling up on dessert as well.

He would walk me to a car like a gentleman, I would remind him I was married and he would give me a sly smile and whisper into my ear what a shame that was. I knew I should have broken off contact, but it felt nice having someone walk with me and give me a little attention that wasn't a prelude to seduction. Not that there was anything wrong with seduction, it was just nice to have conversation too.

I sat in my car, having just said goodbye to Angela and Kieran for the night. I smoothed my hair back in place, and wondered what Edward I would be going home to. Generally he was either insatiably amorous or fast asleep.

The engine turned over with a loud bang, breaking through the silence of the night. I closed my eyes as my heart began to race at the sound.

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