A/N: ITS HERE

Its a bit shorter, but gets right to the good stuff!

(I hope you like it, angst is my forte not fluff and smut)

Throughout April Clarke struggled with her newly realized feelings for Bellamy. She knew she should tell him, after all holding her emotions inside was what had gotten her into this mess in the first place, but it was easier said than done. There were days when she would work herself up, telling herself that she was going to do it over dinner or when he got home or before she left for work, but then the moment would always come and go.

There were also times that it seemed like the words would burst out of her mouth without warning. When they sat close watching TV or went grocery shopping together Clarke could feel the three simple words burning in the back of her throat, but still she remained silent.

Almost losing Bellamy had made her finally realize how much she needed and wanted him, but it hadn't magically granted her the courage to open up and put her heart on the line. April came and went without a confession.

In early May Clarke began her first full day off that month by waking up at 11:00, taking a slow, hot shower, and spending an hour lazing around about getting dressed. She had to run a few errands but then Clarke fully planned on lounging about and doing nothing for the rest of the day. These plans where quickly called into question, however, when she walked into the kitchen to find a very bored looking Bellamy leaning against the counter checking his phone and stirring a bowl. His gaze met hers as soon as she crossed into the room.

"Oh my God, finally. I was starting to think you were dead up there."

Clarke scrunched her eyebrows together. "Well how was I supposed to know you were down here waiting on me? You could have come to get me you know." She moved closer to him to see what he was making ignoring the butterflies in her stomach at their proximity. "Blueberry pancakes?"

"Blueberry pancakes," Bellamy confirmed. "And if I had told you to hurry your ass up then the surprise would have been ruined." The face he made was an adorable mix of pride, nervousness, and irritation.

"Okay…" Clarke's mind raced trying to figure why Bellamy would wait all morning to surprise her with pancakes on an insignificant Tuesday in May. "Why are you making blueberry pancakes?"

"Because they are your favorite."

Clarke narrowed her eyes. "Did you break something of mine? Are you about to ask me to move out? Because I swear to God Bellamy Blake-"

"Am I not allowed to make you pancakes?"

"You waited for me to come down. I know you; you wake up at 6:00 on your days off. It is currently 12:40. You waited six hours and forty minutes to make me pancakes so clearly there is something more going on here."

Bellamy laughed and flipped a pancake. "Really? You haven't figured it out? I mean I know its not exactly the right date exactly, but we both have had work so I figured this was the best option. But really, I thought you were oh so smart."

"I am smart, that's why I can't fathom the stupidity of this," Clarke replied as she dipped a finger in the batter before licking it clean. Bellamy stared at her lips for a beat too long causing Clarke to blush. Maybe her heart wasn't a total lost cause after all.

Bellamy cleared his throat and dragged his eyes back up to hers. "It's the anniversary of you moving in. Well, kind of. The anniversary of us living together I suppose."

Clarke's blush deepened and her chest got a little tight at the notion of Bellamy celebrating an anniversary of theirs. She quickly covered how much the act affected her by reminding him how unhappy he had been a year ago.

"Yeah, well I was an ass. You, Clarke Griffin, are the best thing that ever happened to me." His voice was deep and serious causing Clarke's gut to clench. Her heart sputtered out an uneven rhythm as she held his affectionate gaze. "Other than Netflix, Octavia, and Nutella of course," he added, tone lighter.

Clarke pursed her lips to keep from smiling. She dipped her finger back in the bowl and smeared a line of sticky batter across Bellamy's face before he could complain about her double dipping. For one long moment he looked as if she had mortally offended him. The utter shock and outrage on his face caused Clarke to double over in laughter. Slowly an incredulous smile replaced his horror.

"Really, princess? How old are you?"

Clarke was still laughing too hard to reply. In one fluid movement Bellamy dipped his own finger in the batter and flung the sticky substance at her face. It splattered across her cheeks causing Clarke to laugh even harder. Bellamy just stood in front of her grinning and shaking his head at her antics before the smell of something burning caught both their attention.

"Shit," he cursed, turning back to the now ruined pancake. "First you are late and now you make me burn your breakfast. You are a mess." He threw the ruined pancake in the trash before turning back to her. "I have no idea how you and Octavia survived before I can here. Both of you are beyond-"

He was cut off as Clarke suddenly leaned forward pressing her lips against his. The sudden wave of affection for Bellamy had proved too much for Clarke, she could hardly have stopped herself from kissing him if she tried. The dam that had building between them for far too long had finally broke and she couldn't seem to make herself regret it. After a moment, Clarke felt him freeze in place and she was struck with fear. This clearly wasn't right time and it probably would have been better to tell him how she felt rather than just kiss him as he grumbled about her and Octavia. Clarke began to pull away but before she could Bellamy dropped the spatula in his hand and wrapped her arms around her causing Clarke's heart to soar. He deepened the kiss, letting his tongue brush against her lips. Clarke whimpered at the contact. The small noise seemed to alert Bellamy as to what was happening as his lips suddenly left hers.

"Clarke," his voice was hoarse as he pushed away from her. Bellamy moved back until his back hit the cabinets opposite of Clarke. "Clarke I can't do this." She felt her stomach drop. It was too late after all.

"I'm sorry, Bellamy, I-"

"No, just… just let me talk okay? I can't do this if you are just going to back away again. I can't do that, Clarke. Not again. I want this. I want us. New Years wasn't a mistake. Yes, I was drunk and yes I wasn't very eloquent but I want this. I'm in love you, Clarke. I can't handle being pushed away again after getting my hopes up."

His eyes were fixed on the kitchen tiles. Something about his face, the vulnerableness of it, reminded her of the anniversary of his mother's death. Slowly she moved towards him. "Bellamy," a happy tear slipped down her cheek. He still didn't look up from the ground. Reaching out, Clarke put a hand on each side of his face and pulled his gaze up to her. The intensity in his eyes sent a jolt of electricity through her. "Bellamy I'm not going anywhere," she said softly through a watery smile. The seriousness of the conversation seemed silly with the batter still smeared over his freckles. "I've been so stupid. New Years meant something to me too, it meant a lot. But I was scared. Love never… it never ends well for me. And I was so afraid of losing you if things went sour. It was easier to just keep things how they were, but that was so, so stupid. I love you. I almost lost you two months ago and that made me realize that I want to take this gamble. I want us, too. I love you. I'm so in love with you and I'm sorry it took me so long to say that."

Clarke watched Bellamy's jaw tighten as conflicting emotions bubbled around in her heart. On one hand she was relieved to finally admit how she felt and overjoyed that Bellamy felt the same way, but guilt sat heavy in her chest as well for causing him such pain.

"Please, Bellamy. I love you so much. I wont freak out this time or back off. This is worth it. You are worth it." More tears slipped down her cheeks as she refused to break eye contact with the man in front of her. Just as she began to lose hope, to fear that her earlier rejection had been too damaging, Bellamy moved one hand to the stove to turn off the burner. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers and gripping her hips tightly.

"You have no idea how long I have wanted to hear you say that," he breathed. He was close enough that his lips brushed against hers as he spoke. The sensation made Clarke shiver.

Pushing up on her toes, Clarke closed the tiny gap between them once more. This kiss wasn't as heated as the one they had shared minutes before. It was slow and deliberate, meant to convey words just as much as need. Bellamy wrapped his thick arms around Clarke, pulling her flush against him. Smiling against his lips, Clarke ran her hands through his inky hair. They only broke apart once the need for air finally outweighed their desire for each other.

Clarke lowered herself back onto her heels and dropped her head into the nook between Bellamy's neck and shoulder. She couldn't stop the stupidly wide grin that formed on her lips that soon turned into a short, strangled laugh. Bellamy tightened his grip on her and dropped his head down to her shoulder. She could feel him smile against her skin.

"What's so funny, princess?"

If possible, Clarke smiled wider as she nuzzled into his neck. "Nothing. I'm just… I'm just really happy. That and I just got batter all over your shirt."

Bellamy pulled away so he could look down at her, adoration and amusement in his warm eyes. "That makes two of us, then. I'm pretty sure I also managed to get it in your hair."

Clarke reached up to wipe the remaining batter from his cheek. His eyes darkened as she stuck the finger in her mouth, sucking away the sweetness. He lunged forward capturing her mouth in his again and began to walk her backwards until her body hit the cabinets. Pushing up on him, Clarke managed to lift herself onto the counter smirking against his lips at the familiar position.

"Have you noticed," Clarke whispered between kisses, "that most of our meaningful moments happen in the kitchen."

Bellamy just grunted in reply as his he sucked and kissed his way down her neck. Clarke lost any train of though she had as his hands came up to grab at her breasts. She leaned back bracing herself on her arms and allowing him better access to the dip of cleavage her shirt provided.

Suddenly Bellamy pulled away, lips swollen and face flushed with desire. "As much as I want to do this right here right now, we are not having sex for the first time on a counter top."

Clarke giggled and leaned her forehead to rest against his. "I don't know, I don't have much of a problem with it. But if you would rather bend me over the kitchen table then…"

Bellamy groaned, dropping his head down to her shoulder as she laughed. After placing a sloppy kiss against her neck he raised his head back up to look at her, eyes dark. "Believe when I say I will be taking you up on that offer very soon, but no. We are going to do this right."

Without any warning Bellamy slid his hands under Clarke's ass and lifted her, sufficiently throwing her over her shoulder. "So this is the right way, huh?" She teased, yelping in surprise when he lightly smacked her ass as he made his way out of the kitchen.

Once upstairs he dropped her onto his bed unceremoniously as she laughed. Wasting no time, Bellamy crawled on top of her, his weight pressing her deeper into the mattress. Quickly Clarke's laughter turned to breathy sighs and moans as he proceeded to pepper kisses down her neck while palming her breasts. Her fingers glided down his sides until they found the hem of his shirt. Pulling away briefly, Bellamy helped her to push the offending garment off his shoulders, revealing his toned and muscled chest. Taking advantage of his position, Clarke flipped them over and began to explore the newly bared skin with her tongue while his fingers bunched in her blonde tresses.

When she reached the angry, red scar on his abdomen, Clarke slowed and pulled back. She clenched her jaw as memories of his near death experience flooded her mind. It was then that she noticed the other scars dotting his skin and mixing in with his freckles to create a veritable universe across his body. With a delicate finger she traced the larger marks as she imagined how he had gotten them. Yes, Clarke had seen Bellamy shirtless countless times before, but this was different somehow. She had never really looked this carefully or this intimately. The marks that marred his skin upset her more than she expected.

Suddenly a strong hand covered the one tracing a faded scar as its twin gently lifted Clarke's jaw up. She met Bellamy's eyes and offered him a small, sad smile.

"I'm okay, Clarke. They're just scars."

"I know," she said, dropping her gaze back to his skin. "I just never really noticed them before I guess. I didn't realize… I didn't realize how many there are and-" His hand forced her gaze up again.

"I'm here, Clarke, with you."

She nodded, surging forward to kiss him deeply. Clarke had never been great with words. She didn't know how to tell him how much the thought of him getting hurt upset her or that the idea of him coming close to death multiple times scared the shit out of her. It was hard to find a way to vocalize how much she feared losing those that she loved after what she had gone through with her father and what had almost happened to Wells. Instead, Clarke tried to channel her emotions into her kiss. She needed him to understand why it had been so hard for her to open up to him, why it was still so hard to see his skin marred in such a way.

Bellamy pulled her closer to him, responding energetically to her kiss. His hands swept under her shirt and burned across her skin as they traced circles and swirls on her stomach. They broke apart for air and Bellamy took advantage of the moment, yanking her shirt over her head before making quick work of her bra. He then flipped them back over causing Clarke to gasp at the feeling of his bare chest against hers.

Slowly he dragged his lips down her body causing Clarke to whimper with need. When his lips landed on her hipbone she jerked upwards involuntarily. Bellamy looked up at her through hooded eyes, a wolfish smile dancing across his lips. Although the thought of Bellamy going down on her was quite tempting, Clarke needed him sooner. She needed to feel him inside her. Pulling him upwards she caught his mouth in a fiery kiss.

"Next time. I just need you. Now."

"Fine, we can put it on the list with the kitchen table," Bellamy murmured in reply as his lips found her pulse point.

Clarke rolled her eyes and let her hands run down his chest until they hit the waistband of his jeans. It was his turn to jerk into her and groan as her hand slid farther down underneath the rough fabric. The guttural sound went straight to her already dripping cunt. Pulling her fingers back up, Clarke began to frantically unbutton his pants. Bellamy moved off of her and threw his jeans and briefs across the room before yanking down her leggings.

Finally naked in front of one another, they each took a moment to enjoy the view before crashing together once more.

"Wait," Bellamy breathed out, his jaw tightened as if pulling away from her was physically painful. "Condom."

Clarke stopped him as he moved towards the bedside table. "I'm on the pill," she said, surprised at the breathiness of her voice. "And I'm clean."

He looked at her for minute, pupils blown wide. "Me too." Clarke smiled and pulled him back down against her.

When he finally slid into her Clarke felt like she was coming home for the first time. He hovered above her allowing her time to get use to the stretch of him. Reaching up Clarke gripped his back and began a maddeningly slow, steady rhythm that he quickly matched. He leaned down to nip and lick his way across her skin as she clawed at his back, no doubt leaving angry red marks. As they both came closer and closer to the edge his speed picked up, each thrust sending a jolt of pleasure through Clarke. She moaned his name against the warm skin of his neck letting her fingers twist in his sweaty curls. Bellamy moved one hand down to where they were joined, rubbing maddening circles around her clit just at the same time he hit that sweet spot inside her that made her see white. Clarke clenched around him, gasping his name as her nails dug into his skin. He followed her over the edge moments later biting her neck with a guttural groan that made Clarke's jaw tighten in arousal. They breathed heavily against each other for a long moment before Bellamy pushed himself off her and collapsed against the mattress.

Clarke flipped over and rested her cheek against his warm chest, listening to his rapid heart slowly steady down. One of his large hands played with her loose hair while the other held her close to him. Suddenly she felt a brush of warm air as he laughed against the top of her head. Turning her face upwards she looked at him with skepticism.

"What?"

Bellamy shook his head, "You ruined everything. I had the whole damn day planned out."

Raising and eyebrow, Clarke propped herself up on her elbow to look at him better. "You had the whole day planned out?"

"Yeah," he replied. A blush creeped up his face causing Clarke to smile. Bellamy focused his gaze on his hand tracing her collarbone. "Blueberry pancakes, then I was going to take you into the city and go to the Art Institute, then that gyro place you like because it tastes like your favorite food truck in DC, then back here for Hawaiian pizza and a marathon of your trashy Bravo shows that I hate."

It was Clarke's turn to blush as a wave of affection washed over her. She didn't know what she had done to deserve Bellamy Blake, but now that she had him she was never going to let go. Leaning up Clarke brushed her lips against Bellamy's. It was slow and lazy, but warmed Clarke down to her toes.

"Sorry I ruined your plans."

"It's okay, I suppose this is pretty cool too."

Clarke barked out a laugh before sliding on top of him. Bellamy's hands immediately found her hips. "Well, I'm glad the day isn't a total loss for you."

"No," he said with a small smirk. "Plus I'm optimistic that it will improve from here."

She was still smiling when their lips met again. Her stomach grumbling broke them apart. Bellamy laughed against her neck causing Clarke to hit him lightly on the shoulder. "Come on," he said, dragging her out of bed. "I'll finally finish your pancakes."

Minutes later they were seated at the kitchen table, Clarke wrapped up in Bellamy's comforter and Bellamy wearing only his briefs. They ate in comfortable silence, smiling at each other with mouths full.

"And to think," Clarke said, "You wanted me to move out immediately."

Bellamy smiled and looked down at his plate, "Fortunately you are the most stubborn woman I know. Other than Octavia that is."

"Hmm," Clarke replied, "Well, you are stuck with me now."

"Good." Bellamy stood to grab Clarke's empty plate and put their dishes in the sink. When he turned around there was a sinister smirk on his face. "Now, I think you mentioned something about the kitchen table?"

Clarke laughed as he leaned down to kiss her. Yes, she thought to herself, Bellamy Blake was going to be stuck with her for a very long time.

A/N: YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE HELPED ME WIN THE BELLARKE FANFICTION AWARD AND I WILL FOREVER LOVE YOU

As a thank you there will be an epilogue :)

Thank you all so much, the response to this fic has been amazing! I can't believe it is almost over!