Blood Stained and Broken

-October 25, 2008; Edison, New Jersey-

-Taped for ROH, Ring of Homicide-

1, 2, 3

Tyler Black rose to his feet, a satisfied smile on his face. He ignored the referee's attempts to raise his hand and immediately went to the edge of the ring, sitting on the middle rope to let June Jacobs in.

The celebration was arrogant in every way, shape and form. June made no effort to avoid Jerry Lynn's body, kicking and stepping on him as she jumped up and down. Tyler grabbed her around the waist so that she collided with his chest. June smiled up at him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

It wasn't a rare occurrence by any means, people who watched ROH regularly had come to expect the passionate show of celebration put on by Tyler Black and June Jacobs, but this particular show was a little more heated than the previous ones.

Tyler wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her flush against him as they made out in the middle of the ring. The referee, despite his best efforts, wasn't able to convince them to separate.

Behind the acting, Tessa was reeling because of the kiss. Colby was holding her so close and kissing her so passionately that she was sure she would die due to a lack of oxygen. He always enjoyed playing with Tyler and June. They were rougher than their real life counter parts.

"And that's how it's done!" Tyler shouted when they finally parted lips. He was yet to let June go and was shouting over the top of her head. She smiled widely but was blushing furiously so she hid her face in his chest, squeezing him tightly.

-Off Air-

"Keep it a little more PG next time, for my sake, please," Jimmy groaned off when his sister walked back through the curtain. "I have a hard enough time with Generico sticking his tongue down your throat all the damn time."

"Just because you're currently getting less action than me," Tessa retorted. Her brother's lack of a girlfriend was her favourite way to piss him off.

Colby appeared behind her, his arm dropping over her shoulder. The action was casual, entirely normal. She moved around to hug him and tell him that the match was phenomenal.

"I'll see you in a bit," Tessa said as the boys disappeared to grab their bags. Her aim was to find Lacey and Allison for a quick girls' chat because she knew that it would be a few days before she saw either of them again.

She didn't make it far, though, before Claudio caught up to her.

"You need to sort something out."

Tessa took note of the seriousness in his tone and expression. She furrowed her brow and walked behind him, doing her best to match his pace. Every question she threw at him was ignored and it made her heart thump soundly against her ribcage. If something was happening in the locker room, Claudio was always more than happy to fill her in so his silence was filling her with nerves.

"The guys' locker room? C, what does this have to do with me?"

Her question was answered when Claudio pulled open the door, giving her a clear view of the argument taking place. Her stomach and jaw dropped simultaneously and she was left standing in the doorway while Claudio moved forward, helping Jimmy hold back Colby.

On the floor, Gabe was laying with a hand clutching his jaw. Colby was standing to the side, with blood dripping from his nose. Rami was sitting on the bench, staring at the ceiling and holding the bridge of his nose. Both Gabe and Colby had people around them to make sure they didn't throw anymore fists but Rami was without supervision.

Tessa didn't move from the doorway as Gabe clambered to his feet, using the wrestlers around him as supports.

"You're even more of a whore than I thought," Gabe snarled as he walked past, causing Tessa to bite into the side of her cheek.

Colby turned to the door after hearing Gabe speak and, with a deep breath through gritted teeth, he walked up to her. Tessa shrunk back against the door, watching Colby's eyes narrow.

"I never want to see you again."

Her heart plummeted into her stomach, making her feel more sick than she already did. He walked out the door, purposely trying his hardest to not touch her. Back in the locker room everyone was staring at her like she had three heads, all of them trying to work out just what had happened.

Jimmy looked the most confused, moving to stand in front of her. He was shaking his head.

"Who are you? Because you're certainly not my sister."

"Jimmy-" Tessa started to speak but he didn't even acknowledge it, just following Gabe and Colby from the room. Her lip began to quiver and her eyes began to well up with tears and when she looked back at Rami they began to fall.

He, too, started to walk towards her and she expected him to walk right past – she would have had she been in that situation – but he stopped a few feet from her.

"Why?" he asked quietly and suddenly the people around them were busying themselves with other things, pretending they weren't listening.

Tessa couldn't even think so she said the first thing that came to mind: "I love Colby, too."

Rami's face fell and Tessa saw something in his eyes that she never wanted to be the cause of – he was hurt so much more than she had ever seen him. She regretted saying what she had but there was no way of taking it back. Turning her back, Tessa all but ran from the room and towards the backdoor of the arena.

She was barely three steps outside when she leaned forward with her hands on her knees and vomited onto the concrete. She couldn't manage the energy to move her hair out of the way or lean forward just another inch to avoid vomiting over her boots. No one followed her out, no one came to check if she was okay and she didn't blame them.

-October 26, 2010; Grand Rapids, Michigan-

The first call came at half past 12. It was from Gary Juster – the Vice President of Operations for Ring of Honor. She had been expecting a call from someone within the company but it didn't make it any easier to be told that she was no longer required at the events she had been booked for. That phone call didn't make any of the subsequent ones easier, either. Shimmer, Full Impact Pro, IWA Mid-South, All American Wrestling, Pro Wrestling Guerrilla – literally every card she was booked for she had been pulled from.

By late evening, Tessa wasn't able to cry any more tears because it was all she had been doing in between phone calls.

"What am I going to do?" she asked herself, taking short, shallow breaths.

Wrestling was her only source of income – which she knew wasn't wise but looking for part time work had been put on hold – and it had all been taken away from her in a matter of hours.

In the madness of trying to plead with the bookers to let her stay on, she hadn't failed to notice the lack of calls she received from her anyone else. Not Rami. Not Jimmy. Not Colby. Not one person had tried to call her since she ran out of the building. Sure, it wasn't all too surprising but part of her had at least been expecting to get yelled at – for someone to ask her what the hell she was thinking doing what she did.

She called Rami first. It rang twice before it went to voicemail and she knew that he had rejected the call. When she tried Jimmy it didn't even ring. As she thought about calling Colby she realised that was the absolute last thing she should do.

Tessa pushed herself off the couch, wiped at her eyes, and walked towards her bedroom. Out of her closet she pulled her second suitcase and put it on the bed before hauling her main one off the floor. Rami had been on enough tours of Japan that she knew it wasn't quite the right time to make a call to anyone in the country but while she waited she was going to pack.

It was careless and quick, pulling everything off their hangers and pushing them haphazardly into the cases before throwing the hangers back into the closet. She pulled her other clothes from the drawers and put them on top. She didn't even know what she should take with her. What should she take to Japan if she didn't plan on coming back?

-November 1, 2010; Grand Rapids, Michigan-

It had been just under a week. No one had called and Jimmy hadn't even come home. When she wasn't crying and thinking about just how badly she had messed up, Tessa was reorganising her suitcase and trying to package things to send via airmail to her new home.

The phone call had been too easy to make. The people at JWP Puroresu had been all too happy to hear that she wanted to join their promotion. Tessa nearly fell out of her seat when they said yes to her starting immediately.

Tessa dropped her house key on the side table before she locked the door behind her and pulled it shut. There was no use keeping the key when she was pretty sure it wouldn't be her house when she returned to the United States.

"Are you headed to New York or LA?" The taxi driver asked as he started the drive to Gerald R. Ford International Airport, via the post office.

"Pardon?" she asked, looking at his reflection in the rear-view mirror.

"In my experience," he said, glancing up at his mirror, "pretty girls like you heading to the airport with all their belongings are headed to one or the other to try and get a break in music or acting."

Tessa shook her head and looked down at the envelope she was holding in her hands. "I'm going to neither, actually. I'm actually going to Japan."

"Oh really? What's in Japan?"

"A job opportunity that I'd be stupid to pass up."

"Acting?"

"In a way," she said after a moment of thought. "I'm a professional wrestler, actually. Hulk Hogan, Andre The Giant, that sort of wrestling."

"That's a long way to go. Do you know anybody over there?"

Tessa took a deep breath and sighed, "Not yet, no. I'm really starting afresh."

"What's your name, sweetheart?"

"Tessa."

"Okay, Tessa, I'll tell you what: I'm going to keep you in my prayers. I'm sure you've got a lot of people thinking about you but it can never hurt to have one more."

"Thank you," she smiled despite how bad she was feeling. "That means a lot."

They pulled up the post office and Tessa got out of the taxi and stood in front of the mailbox for a good few minutes before she pushed the letter into the slot. It wasn't going to be enough but it was all that she could give.

The taxi driver continued the chitchat on the way to the airport and Tessa broke down in tears when he asked her why no one was coming to see her off. Through her sobs she was able to say that she didn't have anyone in her life who cared enough to. The realisation was too much for her. It only made her want to get to Japan sooner.

Rami,

I know that this isn't enough, that this is a poor excuse for an apology and explanation but I don't know how to give you anything better. You'll never understand just how sorry I am for what I've done or how bad I feel. I never wanted to hurt you but I know that I did and I wish I could take that back. I wish I could take back everything.

I'm taking the JWP job. You're the only one who knows about the offer so it felt right that you should know that I accepted it. I don't expect you to do anything with this information but it's yours if you want to share it.

Never stop dreaming and never forget that you deserve the world.

Your habibti,

Tessa.

a/n many, many thanks to Westie86, Guest, UntilNeverDawns, CarolReigns, naivemelody, Imagineer1392, Straight Edge Queen, lookitsria and Livin on the EDGE for reviewing!