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CHAPTER FOURTEEN

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A/N:- Banner by FatesLoveQueen http:/yfrog(dot)com/oed60p

I own nothing. Boydblog helped me with this and I'll be forever thankful.

She fixed. I fiddled. Any mistakes that remain are on me.

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I'd expected to wake up beside Edward after everything that had happened the previous day, especially after his whispered apology. But when I woke up, the bed was already empty and cold, even though the sun had barely risen.

I looked around to see if he'd left me anything to indicate why he'd left so early, but there was nothing. I checked my cell to see one message.

It was a message from Kieran, telling me he would come by my house to check I was okay. I sighed as I dragged myself out of bed, draping a hand tenderly over my stomach as I stood. By the time Kieran arrived, I was dressed and ready for my shift at Renee's.

I shook off his argument; he insisted that I should stay at home. The last thing I needed was to be stuck for hours and hours alone in my own home—and in my own head.

From the time I'd woken, all I could think about was whether the baby would be okay and whether Edward and I would be…better.

I spent every second hoping for it, for both. I knew if I locked myself away from the world I'd drive myself crazy.

Kieran had reluctantly driven me to Renee's and then taken up residence in his usual booth. He'd set up his laptop and made it clear he wasn't leaving until I finished my shift. It was actually kind of sweet of him.

Now I just had to make it through the day.

I placed the coffee pot down on the counter; nausea was making itself known again. The smell of the thick black liquid was exacerbating the problem. My stomach had given me niggles and pain intermittently through the morning, but I'd experienced none of the other symptoms the Doctor had warned me to watch for. I was hopeful that I'd soon be able to put the miscarriage scare behind me, but part of me wasn't ready to accept I was out of the woods just yet.

"Are you okay?" I looked up and met a pair of concerned, golden eyes.

I smiled and nodded. "I'll be fine, just as long as you aren't ordering this tar."

"I wouldn't dream of it." Kieran winked at me.

"Good, I'm glad. Now what can I get you?"

He placed his order and returned to his table. Somehow just knowing he was there made the tension I'd felt since waking up alone slip away. We were relatively quiet, and Renee wasn't in, so I was able to talk to him throughout the morning.

I felt elated that even though he'd seen me at my worst, at my most vulnerable, he was still there for me. He still wanted to be my friend. It was unexpected, but definitely not unwelcome. I just wished Edward could support me the same way.

During the morning, there was a moment where I made myself take a quick break. I snuck out through the kitchen and tried calling Edward. Just like the previous day, I left a message on his cell and was told he was out for the day when I tried his office.

I must have looked upset when I came back into the diner, because Kieran jumped up from his seat and rushed over to me.

"Are you okay?" he asked with concern.

I nodded. "I'm fine, I just tried to call Edward."

He frowned, but said nothing. He took my hand gently in his. "I'm here if you want to talk about it, okay?"

I heard the bell over the door tinker and looked over just in time to see someone leaving. I wondered briefly what it was about the diner that put them off, and I hoped it was because I hadn't had the chance to deliver a menu. I then decided I needed to be more switched on, because the lunch rush was about to start. One less customer wouldn't exactly hurt business.

I thanked Kieran before insisting that he return to his seat or leave—not that I really wanted him to do the latter, but I had a job I needed to do.

As Renee's slowly filled with customers, I hit my stride. I was glad to be busy; it kept the constant niggling concerns over Edward and the baby out of my mind. I raced around waiting tables stopping occasionally to refill Kieran's drink whenever I could. Each time, he would do or say whatever he could to make me smile.

The lunch rush was just beginning to slow when the door opened and Edward thundered in. His face was a mask of rage and hatred. I'd never seen him so angry in all the years I'd known him.

"Where is he, Bella?" he shouted as soon as he met my eyes.

My heart began to pound. He'd never spoken to me that way before.

"Where is he?" his boomed through the tiny café and every eye in the place was on him.

"Who?" I squeaked.

"Leave her alone," Kieran said at exactly the same time, drowning out my pathetic sounding voice with an authoritative tone. He stepped in front of Edward, effectively blocking the path to me.

"It's you, isn't it?" Edward sneered. His voice was full of contempt as he looked between Kieran's face and my own. "You're Kieran." He spat the world out like a curse.

Edward's fist thumped onto the counter. I was shocked into silence. I didn't understand what caused him to react so violently.

He stepped closer to Kieran, his eyes wild and flaming with rage. Just the look of him scared the living wits out of me.

"You're the one who's fucking my wife."

"What? No!" I barely recognized my own voice. I certainly made no conscious decision to talk.

"Don't lie to me, Bella," Edward spat.

It seemed like speaking my name was a curse.

He rounded on me, his body towering over mine and my first instinct was to protect the life growing inside of me. I stepped backward, hugging my body tightly, until I hit the wall.

"I know all about the two of you."

My knees buckled beneath me as I continued to shake my head in denial. Tears pricked my eyes instantly. Kieran knelt beside me and his hand caressed my back lightly. Considering the accusations Edward was hurling at us, I wanted to ask him to move it, but I worried I would fall apart completely if he did.

"I asked you last night!" Edward shouted. "I asked you outright who he was and you lied to me!"

I shook my head and swallowed. "I…I never lied. He's a friend, Edward, just a friend."

I hated that I was cowering before my husband—the man who had sworn to love and protect me for as long as we both would live. I hated him for making me scared. I hated myself for making him angry.

"How can you continue to lie to me? You disgust me, you fucking little whore!"

"How dare you speak to her like that!" Kieran's face turned red with rage as he stood and barreled toward Edward, pushing him away from me and toward the door.

Edward snorted. "Of course you would defend the little slut."

"Leave. Now!"

I thought Kieran's voice left no room for argument, but Edward's anger still motivated him. He turned and swung his fist toward Kieran's face, but Kieran was too fast. He gripped Edward's arm and used the momentum against him, twisting until Edward's chest was flush against the door.

"She's your wife for crying out loud."

A sob ripped through my chest as Edward looked over his shoulder at me. His eyes pinned me to the spot and for a moment, they seemed to darken; dense forests rather than glittering emeralds. None of the love that I'd once seen was there any more. My stomach dropped and my eyes flooded with moisture until my vision blurred.

He shrugged out of Kieran's hold, but the fight in him was gone.

"She's not my wife," he murmured quietly as he twisted the gold wedding band from his finger and dropped it onto the floor. "Not anymore."

Kieran grabbed Edward's arm to stop him from leaving. "She's carrying your baby."

"That…thing is not mine."

He didn't even glance back at me as I sat on the floor whimpering.

Kieran looked incensed. I thought he was going to chase after Edward, but it wasn't his fight. Edward had chosen to believe whatever he wanted without even attempting to find out the truth first. I had no idea why he thought there was anything going on between Kieran and I, but his complete lack of faith in me was the greatest betrayal I could think of.

I knew I would have to face him sooner or later. I knew we would have to talk it over, but for the moment, I just needed time to recover from the shock.

Seconds later, Kieran was by my side, scooping me up into his arms. He carried me into the kitchen and ordered the cook to watch over me.

He immediately set to work trying to find someone to cover the rest of my shift while tending to the orders of the few, shocked customers who remained.

Less than half an hour later, we were in his car and he was driving me to his house. I felt the weight of Edward's wedding ring in my fist. I held it tightly, feeling the edges of it pressing against the sensitive skin of my palm.

"I'm sure this will blow over," Kieran said as he watched the road. "But if not, you know I'll be here for you. Anything you need…" his voice grew smooth and velvety, and he was almost pleading with me, "Anything at all."

I nodded slightly in response. Internally, my mind was reeling.

I was beginning to realize why I'd been having visions of the strange town called Forks. My subconscious had obviously known that Edward was going to hurt me. It had known that I wasn't enough to keep him.

Edward had turned his back on his family and friends to marry me. It was a risk he had taken that ultimately cost him very little. If he left me now, he could return like the prodigal son and all would be forgiven. I'd be nothing more than a bad memory. I should have known that eventually the stress of the life I'd forced on him would become too much.

My dreams had been a warning.

I wished I had paid closer attention and heeded the warning, maybe I could have avoided the heartache that was clawing at my chest and threatening to escape. My eyes were dry for the moment, but my whole body ached with pure exhaustion that had nothing to do with physical exertion.

I followed Kieran into his house, vaguely noticing my surroundings. He seemed to be aware of how deeply into myself I had sunk, because he was being extra careful as he led me into his living room. I sat on his sofa and stared vacantly out the window. He said something about going out to get some clothes.

Time passed.

Moments slipped by when I expected each one to drag for eternity.

My mind began to consider what had made Edward jump to such a horrendous conclusion. I came up blank each time. I had never lied to Edward about Kieran. Kieran was a friend—a great friend, possibly the best friend I had—but that was all he was to me. Except that was no longer true. Now, he was my protector, my savior, my knight in shining armor. He was one of two things holding me together—the other was the baby growing inside me.

I rubbed my stomach absentmindedly. Regardless of what happened between me and Edward, I was determined to ensure our child was raised in a house full of love. My son or daughter would always know they were conceived with love, whatever else happened.

"Bella."

Kieran's voice broke through the mist in my mind. His hand gently touched my knee, lightly bringing me back to my body.

I'd been thinking myself in circles for hours.

"Are you hungry?"

I started to shake my head, but then I looked down at my hand resting on my stomach. I needed to be strong for my baby, which meant I must eat regularly, even if stress left me with no appetite.

"I should eat," I whispered.

His lips turned up into a knowing smile. "You should."

He showed me through his house, giving me the tour I was too disinterested to take earlier. The size of his house and the opulence of his belongings lead me to believe his business was incredibly successful; it explained why he was able to afford the high tips and regular meals at Renee's. I had no doubt the huge house felt empty with no one to share it with. Even the modest house Edward and I shared felt vacant whenever Edward was away—which was more often than not lately.

Kieran pointed out the dining room and told me he'd be back shortly with something for me to eat.

I'd barely taken a seat at one of the twelve seats at the mammoth table before he set down a bowl of mushroom ravioli in front of me, and another bowl in front of the chair next to me.

I breathed in the wholesome smell. Despite my earlier lack of appetite, my stomach growled.

"Did you make this?" I asked.

He nodded shyly and rubbed the back of his neck as he sat beside me.

"Wow!" I took another deep breath of the wonderful scent. "If you can cook like this why would you ever come in for the greasy junk at Renee's?"

"Well, it's no fun cooking for one," he said. "Besides, the company at Renee's is much better than being here on my own."

I took a mouthful of the pasta; it was easily the best ravioli I'd ever eaten.

"I didn't know," I said after I'd finished my mouthful. "You're not alone now."

A smile lit up his face as he began to eat his own meal. The conversation was stilted, I could tell he was trying to avoid talking about anything that would upset me, and I was doing everything I could to not think of the cruel things Edward had said. I wanted time to compose myself before I confronted him over his accusations.

"I…uh…got you some clothes when I went out earlier."

I hadn't even realized he'd left the house.

"It's nothing much, just a pair of pajamas and a change of clothes for tomorrow."

I nodded. "Thank you, that's very sweet."

"It was nothing."

He packed up the dishes, waving away my offers of assistance.

I followed his directions up the stairs to the spare room I was staying in and found the clothes he was talking about. He'd purchased a set of flannel pajamas so soft I could easily picture long, lazy days curled up inside them. At first I imagined a day spent cuddling and watching DVDs with Edward, but the image was too painful to consider. The hateful words he uttered earlier rang in my mind. I grabbed the pajamas and headed to the bathroom. I hoped a shower would help to wash away the negative emotions that were starting to surface.

It didn't. If anything it only made me feel worse.

After I'd finished, I dried myself off and pulled on the pajamas. I couldn't help but reflect on how sweet and generous Kieran had been for letting me spend the night. He was a better friend than I could have ever hoped for, and probably more than I deserved.

Needing a break from my own mind, I decided to seek out my host. I'd just reached the bottom of the stairs when I heard a quiet, lilting voice float through the huge house. The voice sang a melancholy song in velvety smooth tones. I couldn't understand the words, but the language was beautiful and the mournful melody stole my breath away.

"Oidhche mhath leat fhèin, a rùin Nad leabaidh chùbhraidh bhlàth; Cadal sàmhach air a chùl. Do dhùsgadh sunndach slàn."

I crept toward the source of the sound and watched silently as Kieran tidied away the last of the dishes singing softly to himself.

"Tha mise 'n seo 's an truinnsidh fhuar 'S nam chluasan fuaim bhàis. Gun duil ri faighinn às le buaidh—tha 'n cuan cho buan ri shnàmh."

He had a small, sad smile on his face when he turned. His eyes widened slightly as he noticed me watching him from the doorway.

"That's really beautiful," I said quietly.

"It's 'An Eala Bhàn'," he explained. His voice was quiet and full of reverence. "The last part means: Goodnight to you, love in your warm, sweet-smelling bed; May you have peaceful sleep and afterwards. May you waken healthy and in good spirits I am here in the cold trench. With the clamor of death in my ears, with no hope of returning victorious-the ocean is too wide to swim."

A shiver ran down my spine at the hopelessness that seemed to be reflected in the last sentence.

"What is it about?"

"It's a love song written in the trenches at the Battle of the Somme; from a poet to his lover. It always helps to remind me of who I am and where I came from. I've recently discovered what it really means."

With each word he spoke, his accent shifted almost imperceptivity towards a British lilt, or something similar. I was suddenly overwhelmed with an intense need to learn everything about him.

He seemed to recognize my desire for more information. He smiled and patted the kitchen bench.

"Come, sit. I'll tell you all about myself."

I stepped closer to him, unable to resist the pull towards him for even a moment.

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A/N: An Eala Bhan is a Scottish Gaelic love song which was indeed written in the trenches at the Battle of the Somme.

Video: http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=cIZvHaIlu7Q

Lyrics in full: http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/An_Eala_Bh%C3%A0n

*peers out from between fingers* Is it safe? Should I keep hiding?

Good news—another chapter will be ready before too long (read this as within the week)