Daryl

Charlie laid her head against my shoulder, leanin' her entire body into me. I felt a smile tuggin' at one corner of my mouth. So much for keepin' this a secret. Just a little over a week ago, we'd both been dead set on keepin' what was happenin' between us under wraps. Now, though, it was like that conversation had never even happened. Which was fine by me. After almost losin' her once, I didn't give a damn what anyone though 'bout us bein' together like this. Not that I cared all that much before either.

It was different, havin' a meetin' without Rick bein' the one to lead it. He'd come walkin' back from wherever he'd gone off to at the ass crack of dawn, but hadn't said a word. It was like his outburst from the night before had never even happened. Just another reason on a long list of why Rick was better off sittin' on the sidelines for now. I shook my head. Just thinkin' 'bout it was tough. Always thought he'd be the last man standin', that he had a better head on his shoulders than all of us combined. Should've known losin' Lori would do this to him eventually. If I'd lost Charlie…well, I think I'd be in the same boat as Rick right about now.

"I think we're all in agreement that it's time to get this place ready for when the attack comes." Glenn said, leanin' against the wall. Maggie stood next to him with her arms crossed over her chest.

"But how do we know he's going to attack? Maybe he's too intimidated to really come after us." Beth suddenly said. 'Course it would be Beth who would say that. Girl had to try and see the silver lining in every little damn thing.

Merle was the first to shoot that comment down, shakin' his head. "Trust me, honey, he ain't intimidated. Once he knows where we are, there ain't much we can do from stoppin' him. He's comin'. Just a matter of when." He finished, his lips tugged down at the corners.

I wouldn't ever tell Merle this, but I was surprised as hell he hadn't ended up locked in one of the cells yet. Figured between his bad attitude and his mouth, he'd piss somebody off nice and good by now. He hadn't, though. Which made me think maybe that Harlow was good for him. More than that. She was probably the best damn thing for him.

My eyes slid over to Harlow, where she stood close next to Merle. She was noddin' her head in agreement. "Merle's right. The Governor's too proud to just let us go on existing. He needs to make a point and the best way to do that is to wipe us off the map." I could almost hear the venom in her voice. She hated the man enough for all of us.

Michonne shifted. She'd been leanin' against the railin' of the stairs Charlie and I were sittin' on. "He's smart, too. He'll come up with something that'll throw us off. It won't just be an old west shoot out." She said quietly. I'd had my problems with Michonne when she'd first showed up, but I'd long since settled that. I felt like I owed her a debt, but I didn't think she knew that. I felt like it was thanks to her, and her alone, that Charlie was still alive when I finally found her.

"Then I guess we should spend what time we have getting this place ready." Hershel spoke up, hobblin' on his crutches towards Glenn. "We worked on the fences yesterday, but I bet there's more we could do."

"We should put some weapons on the outside…that way if he catches us off guard all the guns won't be in here where we might not be able to get them." Maggie shrugged. It was a damn good idea.

Glenn was noddin' his head. 'That's a good idea. And maybe we should decide on a place for everyone to be. Everyone should know where to go."

"Glenn and I can be in one tower." Maggie piped up. I watched her turn to look at us on the steps. "I know Charlie is a good shot. She should be up in the other one."

Charlie stiffened a little, noddin' slowly. I knew for a fact the girl didn't think a gun belonged in her hand at all. Always made her real nervous to even hold one, but Maggie was right. She was a helluva shot.

"I'll go up in the tower with her." I said. I knew I'd probably be more good somewhere else, but I didn't like the idea of Charlie bein' in a place where I couldn't keep an eye on her. Where if somethin' happened, I wouldn't know about it right away.

Glenn shot me down fast, though. "No, I think we need you and Merle, Michonne and T-Dog on the ground. Rick, too. You five are probably the strongest we have."

Charlie suddenly straightened up, her head leavin' my shoulder. She didn't look at me, but I could see her chewin' her lower lip and I knew she was goin' to argue with that. I fought back a smirk. I always thought it was my job to keep her safe so it threw me for a loop every time she tried to protect me back.

"I don't know how I feel about that." Harlow said loudly, beatin' Charlie to it.

I watched as Merle quietly promised her he'd be just fine. My eyes turned back on Charlie, though, when I heard her speak up. "If Daryl can't be in the tower with me, then I want Gabe up there where I can keep an eye on him."

I could see Gabe roll his eyes, even from where I was sittin' on the opposite side of the room. 'Course he wouldn't like that, but I wasn't even a little surprised at Charlie's attempt to babysit him. He'd have to get used to that, at least for a little while. The girl probably wouldn't let him outta her sight.

Hershel was suddenly talkin' and everyone instantly shut up. "Now come on, people. Ain't no reason to be arguing and gettin' upset about this. Who knows where we'll all be or what we'll be doin' when this Governor character finally shows up anyways. He crossed the room on his crutches towards Beth, slowin' when he finally reached her and puttin' a hand on her shoulder. "I think, though, that I should stay in here with Carl, Beth, and Judith. A one legged man isn't gonna be much help, but I can get the busses ready in case we need to get out of here fast."

In case things went from bad to worse. He didn't say it like that, but we all knew what he meant. That there was a damn good chance we'd get run out of here and have no place to go.

"That's good. Thanks, daddy." Maggie said in a quiet voice.

I heard a sigh comin' from somewhere close and looked down to see Carl sittin' on the ground by Charlie's feet. He was crossin' his arms and poutin'. He looked ready to argue. Kid thought he was all grown up for some reason. Could take care of himself. Charlie gently squeezed his shoulder and when he looked back I shot him a look that I hoped was enough for him to keep his mouth shut. With his daddy not in a position to keep him in line, keep him followin' rules, we all had to take turns with that instead.

"We should get to hidin' those weapons now." I said as Carl glared right back at me but shut his mouth tight and looked away.

"I was thinking we could maybe reinforce the catwalk outside. There's still some pieces of sheet metal lying around outside." Carol said quietly, takin' a step forward into the center of the group.

Hershel adjusted himself on his crutches as he nodded, Beth standin' up to wrap an arm around his waist to steady him. "That's a good idea. Why don't you take someone to help you."

"I'll help." Harlow suddenly offered before anyone else had a chance to say somethin'.

Carol smiled at her in thanks and I watched as Harlow kissed Merle on the cheek. I felt my nose wrinkle as I looked away. Didn't think I'd ever get used to that. I'd seen Merle hangin' around women before, but never seen him be so damn affectionate and get all soft and gentle with 'em. Made me feel like the world had suddenly gone all backwards. I heard Harlow's footsteps leavin' the room and looked back at her just in time to see her chasin' after Carol before they both stepped outside into the bright sun.

"Let's head to the armory, start seeing what's even worth hiding." Glenn said, pushin' himself off the wall and leadin' the way towards the locked up weapons.

I stood up, Charlie followin' my lead and brushin' off the back of her jeans with her hands. I made to follow after the others, but I felt her hand on my arm. I looked down at her, but she waited until everyone else had gone on ahead before lookin' up at me.

"You know, I really hate the idea of you running around on the ground while the Governor tries to pump this place full of bullets." She said quietly.

"You rather I stay locked up inside with the old man and the babies?" I asked, perkin' an eyebrow at her.

She rolled her eyes before mutterin' a barely audible 'yes'.

I chuckled, pullin' her into my chest with one arm. I heard her take a deep breath before both her arms were wrapped around my middle. "You know I hate bein' anywhere you ain't, Charlie. I'll be careful and keep my ass alive if you promise to do the same."

I felt her nod before she was lookin' up at me, leanin' forward to brush her lips against my jaw. I pressed my mouth against hers for a long minute before she finally pulled away, givin' me a smile before untanglin' herself from me and headin' after the others.

I watched Glenn handin' out the weapons and ammo, the pile slowly growin'. Still couldn't help but think, though, that it wasn't enough. That if we were fightin' an entire town, this wouldn't last us. I swallowed back that thought, though, knowin' it wouldn't do any good to point it out. Maggie and Glenn had already gone out to try and find more weapons, but had come back empty handed.

I handed Gabe one of the guns from the pile. "Ya' know how to shoot?" I asked.

He nodded. "I've used a gun on walkers…never shot anything that shoots back though."

I wasn't the only one who heard him because the tension and grimness in the room suddenly seemed to double. I grabbed up my crossbow and slung it across my back as Charlie turned to her brother. "They're the bad guys, Gabe. You know that." She said quietly. He nodded slowly, but looked suddenly too weighted down for a kid his age. "Let's take these to the tower."

Charlie gave him a gentle push towards the door, lookin' over her shoulder to give me a worried look. I shook my head and followed them both outside. Wasn't really much either of us, or anyone, could say that would make him feel better. Guess I didn't think 'bout it much anymore. The whole point of livin' these days was to stay alive, which meant puttin' down anyone or anything that threatened that.

The sky outside was cloudless, the sun already blazin' hot. It was a damn shame nice days like these always happened when there was a shit storm brewin'. Charlie reached back, takin' my hand and givin' it a squeeze before pullin' away and headin' towards one of the guard towers with Gabe behind her. I watched both of 'em go before Merle was suddenly slappin' me on the back.

"You're like a god damn woman. Pinin' away after that girl when she's only 'bout ten feet away." He was grinnin' from ear to ear and I rolled my eyes.

"Look who's talkin'. Thought I saw Harlow givin' you a cheek kiss inside. Thought you was too much of a man for shit like that." I shot back.

I expected him to go all hostile on me, but instead his grin only seemed to grow bigger. He opened his mouth to no doubt say somethin' smartass back to me, when a shot suddenly rang through the air. It was loud and crystal clear. Merle and I both froze. His eyes were wide, the grin wiped from his face. My first thought was that somebody had accidentally left the safety off and let out a shot, but when I heard the second loud crack of a gun, I knew it wasn't no accident. Merle and I both took off, divin' for cover behind one of the cars pulled up to the cellblock. My pulse had skyrocketed and was poundin' somethin' fierce inside my chest.

"Everybody down! Now!" I heard Rick's voice yellin', cuttin' through the gunfire. My eyes scanned the area around us until I saw him crouchin' near the cellblock behind a cement wall. His own eyes were wide and alert. More alert than I'd seen since we'd got from Woodbury. Maybe all it took was a crisis to set him back in his right mind.

I pressed my back up against the side of the car, peerin' around behind the tires. I was lookin' for Charlie, but couldn't see her anywhere. I didn't think it was possible, but my heartbeat suddenly seemed even faster than it had been two seconds ago. The sound of the gunfire and knowin' she was out there without me made my blood go cold. "Where the hell is Charlie?" I said, soundin' frantic even to my own ears.

I turned back to see Merle pullin' out his gun as leaned around the front of the car, lookin' for somethin'. He whirled back around, though.

"She's fine." He suddenly said. "Just saw her go up into the tower. Might be the safest place for her."

I felt a wave of relief suddenly wash over me. She was safe for now. Merle was right. The guard towers were high off the ground and thick concrete. Bullets would have a hard time goin' through there. I just hoped she stayed low and didn't try anythin' stupid while she was up there. Still, the only thought on my mind was findin' a way to get over there and get to her. I knew that wasn't an option right now, though. Not with all those damn bullets comin' for us.

"What now?" I asked Merle. He'd know more about what to do than I would. He had all that military experience and I knew for a fact that he'd seen and been in his fair share of battles. I watched as he flipped the safety off his gun.

"We fight back." He grinned.

I didn't know how much good that would do right now, considerin' we had next to no idea where the bullets were comin' from. There was no doubt it was the Governor, though. He hadn't wasted much time tryin' to get to us. I lowered myself onto my stomach, peerin' around behind the car's back tire. I could see movement through the trees at the edge of the prison, but knew it would be damn near impossible to get a shot in from this distance and there was no guarantee I'd even be shootin' in the right direction with all the movin' around they could be doin'.

I heard the loud bang of Merle's gun suddenly goin' off before he was crouchin' back behind the car, and I heard the sickenin' sound of bullets tryin' to crunch through the metal of the car. After that, though, it got real quiet real fast. I scrambled back into a sittin' position, holdin' on tight to my crossbow. I felt Merle's eyes on me and could tell by the look on his face he was also worried about why the firefight had ended so abruptly. I knew in my gut, though, that they were plannin' somethin' out there and it wasn't gonna be good.

Carol's voice broke through the sudden, heavy silence. Sounded like it was comin' from the catwalk where her and Harlow had been workin' on fortifyin' it with the sheet metal. I could hear Carol, but not a sound from Harlow. I felt my gut suddenly wrench, my heart sink. God, no…My eyes snapped back to Merle, watchin' him carefully. I could see every muscle tensed, his jaw set and his eyes wide. I knew what he was about to do and I also knew there wouldn't be much I could do to stop him. If he set one foot from behind this car, though, there'd be nothin' shieldin' him from the bullets that could start back up from the woods at any second.

"Merle, don't." I warned him. I reached out to grab his arm, but he ducked away from my grasp and was gone. "Merle!" I yelled out after him. I heard the 'pop' 'pop' 'pop' of bullets and knew the Governor and his men were takin' aim at Merle, an easy target now that he was out in the open. I hovered behind the car, wonderin' if I should run after him or not. Instead, I turned back around and took aim towards the woods, hopin' I could hit somethin' while they were focused on Merle. I heard gunshots comin' from both the guard towers and knew the others were thinkin' along the same lines.

I shot an arrow from the crossbow before turnin' around, just in time to see Merle make it up the steps and disappear behind the sheet metal. I had no clue as to what was goin' on up there, but my gut was tellin' me it wasn't good. I knew I couldn't blame him for what he had just done, although it had been incredibly fuckin' stupid. If it had been Charlie up there, well I wouldn't have thought twice about runnin' through a hail of bullets to get to her either.

The sound of bullets stopped for a second time. I met Rick's eyes from across the prison yard and could tell he was worried about what was comin' next just as much as I was. I pressed my back against the tire, crossbow tight in my hands. A low rumblin' sound suddenly reached my ears. I furrowed my eyebrows together, wonderin' what the hell it was. Sounded like a truck. I wondered for a second if he was bringin' even more men. The noise got louder and louder and I looked out from behind the car and could see a white delivery truck gatherin' dust as it drove up the road towards the prison. When it got closer, just feet away, I realized it wasn't gonna stop.

The truck crashed easily through the fence, takin' it down and leavin' the yard open to any walkers. Was that the plan then? Break through the fence to make it easier for the walkers to get in? He couldn't send his men in through that hole, we'd gun 'em all down in a second. I watched as someone got out from the driver's side of the van and immediately raised my crossbow to take aim. The guy was quick, though, runnin' to the back and throwin' open the doors before sprintin' back to the woods. I had my arrow aimed at his back until I saw the walkers spillin' out from the back of the truck. Dozens of them packed in there like sardines. I was up off the ground in seconds, runnin' towards the herd of walkers. There wouldn't be any more bullets. They would leave us to deal with this.

I heard the gunshots comin' from the towers, though, pickin' off some of the walkers. I raised my crossbow and took aim, and got my target right in the forehead. It dropped to the ground before I turned towards the next one as I kept joggin' closer. I heard footsteps and looked behind me to see Michonne and T-Dog. Michonne sprinted past both of us, her sword in her hands. Once she got close to the herd, she started whirlin' it around like an expert. Three walkers lost their heads as her blade sliced through their necks and they crumpled to the ground.

My breathin' was heavy, heart still hammerin' loudly, as I worked to put down every last walker the Governor has driven through the fence. It wasn't too much longer, though, that we had made quick work of them and the yard was littered with bodies. I felt my shoulders sag, though, as I looked at the damage. The fence was a goner. I wasn't sure it could be repaired easily and more walkers were comin' in from the woods. We'd spent a damn good amount of time makin' this place safe, and in half a second that had been undone.

I craned my neck up to the tower and saw Charlie's dark hair. Even from where I was standin', I could see the horrified expression on her face. She was safe, though. That's all I needed to see for now. I had to find Merle. I turned on my heel and ran back in the direction of the catwalk. I took the metal steps two at a time and froze to a standstill when I reached the top. Carol hovered in the corner, her hand over her mouth. I followed her gaze and saw the puddle of blood, Merle sittin' in the middle of it with a limp Harlow in his arms.

"Jesus." The word fell from my mouth in a hoarse whisper and I knew she was dead. She was too still, there was too much blood. I saw Merle's shoulders shakin', heard the sounds he was makin'. It was the first time in my life I'd ever seen him cry and I didn't know what to do. Even when our mama had died, Merle hadn't shed a damn tear. Now I was standin' here watchin' him fall to pieces. I hadn't known Harlow very long, but I knew enough to get that she loved my big brother and he loved her back. And now she was gone.

I took a step closer and could hear Merle beggin' her to stay. I swallowed hard before puttin' a hand on his shoulder. "She's gone, Merle." I said quietly.

He looked back at me, his expression was one I'd never seen him wear before. Lost, hurt, shocked…broken. He carefully laid her on the ground and stood up. I saw her eyes were closed, her face slack. People always said the dead looked like they were sleepin', but I didn't think that. It looked like her, but empty. "I know she's gone. Don't you think I know that?" He said, his voice almost a whisper.

I opened my mouth to say somethin', but I didn't know what to say. What the hell could I possibly say to make this better? To make this okay? Nothin'. Nothin' could bring her back or make this right. If this were me, and that was Charlie lyin' there…I swallowed hard. I couldn't even bring myself to think about it. There was no way I could live through that. No way I could ever understand what Merle felt right now unless I'd been there before and I hoped to god I never would.

Merle turned and slammed his fist against the catwalk wall. It rattled loudly, shakin' the entire structure. I watched him do it again and again before he turned and started kickin' at the sheet metal. I'd seen Merle angry, I'd seen him beat the piss outta plenty of guys, but I'd never seen him lose control in this sorta way.

"Merle! Stop it! Calm the fuck down!" I yelled at him. He pulled his fist back again and I jumped forward, grabbin' his arm and pushin' it back down to his side. He fought it for a minute before his arm was limp at his side. He was breathin' heavily, his head saggin' and shoulders slumpin'. "I'm sorry, Merle." I said. "I'm sorry."

His arm slipped from my grasp as he dropped back to the ground. He was cryin' again and it was makin' his entire body shake. He looked like he was fallin' to pieces. I stood helplessly behind him, not sure what to do. I'd never been any good at comfortin' people, but never before had I been in a situation where the person I was tryin' to pull together was Merle. He'd never needed me for that before. He'd never needed anyone. I looked over my shoulder at Carol. She was cryin' too, watchin' Merle with a desperately sorry expression on her face. I turned back around to my brother.

"Merle…" I said carefully, not sure where I was goin'. I looked at Harlow's body and knew the last thing he'd want to hear from me was that we had to make sure she stayed down. That once we did that he could keep grievin', that then we could have a funeral. How was I supposed to tell him he needed to put a bullet through her head?

"I need to do this alone." Merle suddenly said. He voice sounded calmer than it had a second ago, a complete shift in emotion. He had stopped crying and seemed back in control. I hesitated before noddin' slowly. It seemed only right that he be the one to do it and that he do it by himself. I stepped back as he gathered Harlow into his arms and brushed past me down the steps.

I followed him after a minute, stayin' a few feet behind as he headed towards the field. The others had come out from where they'd been takin' cover durin' the fight and I saw Maggie's hand press to her mouth when she saw Merle walk by. Then I saw Charlie. Her eyes grew wide and her expression crumpled. Like the rest of us, she hadn't known Harlow the long but I knew Charlie enough to know that this would hurt her. That seein' Merle hurt, bothered her like it bothered me. She placed a hand on Merle's arm but he walked right by.

Charlie's eyes found me then and she was suddenly runnin' forward, throwin' her arms around me. I held her close, not carin' if anyone watched as I buried my face into her hair. "Daryl." She said quietly, pressin' her face into the front of my shirt.

"I know." I answered, not sure what else I could say. Not sure what words there were. It didn't matter if she wasn't a part of the group for long. We had still lost one of our own.

Charlie shifted in my arms until she was facin' Merle, her back pressed up against my chest. I had both arms wrapped around her shoulders and her hands gripped my forearms tightly as we watched Merle lower Harlow to the ground and take a step away from her body. I averted my eyes as he spoke in a lower whisper, sayin' his goodbyes. Then, there was the loud crack of the gun before he fell to his knees and I heard him cryin' again.

Charlie tried to break loose from my grasp and run to him, but I held onto her tighter. "Let him be, baby girl. For a little while." I said quietly, pressin' my lips to the top of her head.

She stopped strugglin' and leaned back against me. "This is going to destroy him, Daryl." I heard her say in a whisper.

I didn't answer, but I agreed. I didn't know what this would do to Merle, only that it wouldn't be good. We watched him for a moment longer before I tore my eyes away, keepin' one arm around Charlie's shoulder as we headed back towards the others who were waitin' by the cellblock. I took one last look at Merle over my shoulder before lookin' back at Charlie, who was lookin' up at me with her big, brown eyes and I knew she was thinkin' the same thing I was. That we couldn't let that ever be one of us. That we'd both do everythin' we could to stay alive and to stay together.

Because if I had to do what Merle did just now, I knew for a fact I wouldn't be able to go on.