I'd Like It If You Stayed

-June 3, 2014; Cincinnati, Ohio-

"Do you have a few minutes to answer some questions for Inbox?" the man in front of her asked.

"Yeah, sounds fun," she smiled.

She continued talking to Summer while the cameras were set up around them, quietly and quickly discussing how to answer the questions. Summer always answered hers in character, making sure to mention Fandango in every single one of them. Tessa's decision was to answer them as herself because she was hardly acting when she went out in front of the WWE Universe every week, anyway.

The first question was asked when Summer ducked out of frame and Tessa smiled into the camera.

"Favourite city you've ever visited as part of a tour or promotion?"

"Tokyo – or anywhere in Japan, really," Tessa answered with a smile as she remembered just how it felt. "I spent a lot of time there and the atmosphere is so different but the crowds are all so respectful. I wouldn't be here if it hadn't been for the Japanese crowds and promotions. Also Grand Rapids – there's nothing like wrestling in front of a home crowd. Wrestling anywhere is great, you know? You never get the same crowd twice. Granted, some are more receptive than others but that comes with the territory."

"What's surprised you the most since you came to the WWE?"

"Really just how close everybody is. We're a real family back here. It is hard because you spend so much time with these people and you don't really have any choice but to get to know them." Tessa drew her mouth into a thin line before she continued speaking. "Unfortunately you can't get along with everybody because that's how life goes – there are going to be people that you click with and some that you don't. Regardless of that: once you get settled in it's really great."

She nodded to signal the end of her answer and Summer, from beside the camera man, screwed up her face.

"Once you get settled in?" she asked and Tessa shrugged.

"Yeah. I was pretty disliked when I first got here, wasn't I?"

"No, you weren't," Summer argued with a shake of her head. "You thought you were and projected that onto everyone else."

Tessa rolled her eyes, hating that argument and how much it made sense.

The cameraman looked between them and Tessa signalled for Summer to stop speaking so the next question could be asked.

"What's the worst part about travelling with everyone?"

Tessa grimaced, an action that did not go undetected by Summer.

"How close you are to everyone all the time," Tessa answered with an expression that Summer recognised as solemn. It wasn't a drastic change – if you didn't know Tessa you wouldn't have picked up on it – but it was enough for Summer to frown. Tessa covered her stomach with her arms, trying not to look at Summer.

"I was just saying that it's like a family but any family needs a break every now and then. I've known some of these people for nearly ten years and I love them to death but sometimes," Tessa paused for only a second, "sometimes you just need space."

"What was your favourite stuffed toy growing up? Do you still have it?"

Tessa cheered up at the question, a bright smile forming on her face.

"When I was five my father bought me a bunny – an orange stuffed bunny – that wasn't too big but, you know, not small. I slept with it every night until I was thirteen. After that I slept with it every night I wasn't at a sleepover until I was about twenty, actually. Right now he – Arthur – is sitting up on my bed waiting for me to get home."

Summer giggled off-screen.

"I don't sleep with him anymore!" Tessa clarified quickly. "He sits on my bedside table while I sleep!"

"What's the best present you've ever given?"

"The best present I've ever given... I'm actually really terrible at giving presents but I once got a friend tickets to Warped Tour. I mean that's going to surprise a lot of people because most of my wardrobe consists of pastel pink – if you know anything about who I was when I broke into this business it would make a lot of sense."

Tessa smiled at the cameraman when he thanked her for her time and told her he would let her know when the episodes were aired.

"That was weird," Summer said without hesitation. "Those questions did not require you to look like you were in so much pain."

"I need to talk to you," Tessa said with a defeated sigh.

"You look like you're about to be sick," Summer responded cautiously as she took in how much Tessa's face had paled.

"Can we go somewhere else?" Tessa asked, already leading them away to a more private area, though she knew privacy was hard to come by backstage. She turned to Summer and said quickly, as not to lose her nerve, "Warped Tour was when everything started with Colby."

"Oh, Christ," Summer sighed.

Tessa swallowed the ever-growing lump in her throat and averted her gaze, not having the confidence to look her friend in the eye.

"Summer... I did something really horrible."

"Whatever it is, Tessa, I'm sure we can fix it."

Tessa hesitated, unsure if she should even reveal everything that had happened. She wasn't sure what she was accomplishing by telling anybody. She looked at Summer only to look away before she spoke.

"I slept with Colby."

"Oh Tessa..." Summer sighed. "When? Why?"

"Before Rami got called up. It was for a couple months. Summer," Tessa whimpered, "I can't – I can't let him go."

"He was with Leighla?" Summer asked slowly and Tessa nodded, biting into her lip. "But you did let him go. When Rami was called up." Summer reasoned.

"We kissed. When we all went out for those birthdays – Colby, Nattie and Joe? No matter what I do he's always there," she said, her lip starting to quiver and her eyes beginning to brim with tears.

"Please don't cry, Tessa," Summer all but begged, looking around for any signs that they were not alone. "Not back here. The last thing we need is for someone to ask questions. Did you kiss him?"

"No, no, I wasn't doing anything. I was on auto-pilot. A guy who reminded me of Gabe had just totally rattled my brain."

"He protects you. In a very fucked up way he protects you. This is like some PTSD shit," Summer stated in disbelief. "That's why you've been acting weird? Because he kissed you?"

"He was talking to Punk and-" Summer cut her off with an unintentional laugh.

"Punk doesn't mean shit," she said firmly. "Nobody believes anything that comes out of his mouth."

Tessa wasn't so sure. "What if he said something on Twitter?"

"Nobody important believes him," Summer said pointedly, taking Tessa's hands in hers. She spoke softly, "You need to tell Rami."

Tessa shook her head quickly. "If I tell him about the kiss I need to tell him about everything that happened before he got here. I can't do that to him. That's not fair."

"You need to tell him," Summer repeated as she squeezed Tessa's hands. "All of it. It's going to be better if he hears it from you – he can't hear it from Rollins or some other third party who has even less of the full story."

"How do I even bring it up?" Tessa asked hopelessly, her body shaking with a sob. "It'll break him. It'll break me."

"It'll break both of you even more if it comes from someone else," Summer insisted. "Tell him and then give him some time to think about it."

Tessa breathed in deeply, pulling her hands from Summer's and patted under her eyes to remove the tears without ruining her makeup anymore than she already had.

"I'll tell him," she said slowly. "I can't today. I'm going to see his parents, tomorrow. Oh god, I'm going to see his parents."

Tessa buried her face into her hands. Summer started to rub her back.

"People make mistakes."

"Not as often as I do," Tessa responded grimly. Summer offered a sympathetic smile.

"I have to get ready for my match," Summer said, giving Tessa's upper arm a squeeze. "You'll be okay – just don't wait too long."

-June 4, 2010; Montreal, Quebec-

They were walking up the garden path to the front door of his parents house in Montreal and Tessa couldn't help but remember the first time she had been there – a few days before Christmas 2007 less than a month before her whole life got turned upside down. Rami was acting almost exactly the same and Tessa supposed she was, too, if him telling her to stop worrying was any indication.

"Do your parents hate me?" she asked quietly.

"Why would they hate you?" he asked in confusion, Tessa looked up at him with a glare. "They don't know, T."

Tessa stopped walking, her hand falling from Rami's upper arm.

"What do you mean 'they don't know'?" she asked, her heart starting to pound loudly in her chest. "That's even worse than them hating me! Why wouldn't you tell them?"

"Because they love you," he said simply. "I didn't want that to change."

Tessa sighed, her shoulders slumped and her face fell. The night had just gotten that much harder. "But they love you more! They shouldn't love me at all!" She countered in exasperation.

"Jo knows," Rami said, referring to his younger sister Johara. "I don't quite get how that's supposed to make you feel any better, though."

"It doesn't," Tessa responded meekly. "It's too late now because I saw your mum looking through the window when we pulled up."

She kept her hands to herself, crossing them across her stomach, as they walked towards the front door. She could feel him looking at her as he reached for the doorknob, letting himself into the house and calling out as he did so.

It took less than a second for his mum to appear in their line of sight with outstretched arms so she could pull her son into a tight hug. As soon as she pulled back she was heading towards Tessa who did her best to smile at the warm welcome. Tessa uncrossed her arms and hugged back, albeit not as tightly.

"So long but still so beautiful," his mum cooed, holding Tessa at arm's length to take in her appearance. "Come, come, we made baklava for you!"

They were walked through the dining room, then the kitchen and into the backyard where a table had been set up on the patio. Tessa smiled and hugged Rami's father, her heart breaking at the sincerity in his voice as he asked to hear all about her time in Japan.

They sat down at the table, wine being poured immediately, and Tessa sipped at it quickly. Anything to numb all of the emotions running through her body: fear that she would say something to his parents, worry that Johara would, guilt that she hadn't told Rami about the previous few months. All sitting atop the disgust she was feeling for getting herself into the situation to begin with.

Tessa only felt worse when Johara arrived with her fiancé. The hollowness of her greeting and the coldness of the hug only highlighted how much had changed. Before everything Johara had been the sister Tessa never had, sharing any number of secrets and discussing movies and fashion on a near daily bases. Johara didn't even want to look her in the eye.

"So, Rollins," Johara said excitedly as they waited for dessert to cook, her eyes going straight to Tessa who felt all breath escape her. "What happened there? That has to be the swerve of the decade."

Rami stilled beside his girlfriend, knowing exactly what his sister was trying to pull. "I think they did it well. It was unexpected and exactly the sort of shake up the company needed."

"What do you think, Tessa?" Johara asked pointedly, though neither of her parents realised what was happening.

Tessa, like Rami, had frozen at the question. She had watched Rami carefully as he responded, but he had been able to compose himself quite well. She hoped to do the same.

"A lot of people thought he was going to be the one who went nowhere," Tessa answered, trying to keep her voice even. "I'm happy they were able to make sure that didn't happen."

"I'm sure you are," Johara said. The smile that graced her face was sarcastic enough for Tessa to catch yet sincere enough to not drawn attention from her parents or her fiancé.

Tessa excused herself after Rami started a new conversation with his father. She was sure to not draw to much attention to herself as she walked through the sliding glass door into the kitchen but as soon as she was standing in the dining room every part of her body slumped and tears began to sting her eyes.

Tessa was unable to stop the tears from running down her cheeks as Johara walked into the room behind her. Her breathing remained uneven.

"At least you feel bad about it," Johara said, keeping her voice low as to not draw attention from anyone outside. "I was starting to think you didn't regret anything."

"I regret it all," Tessa said in a whispered sob.

"I think he's stupid for taking you back," she said unapologetically. "You understand that, don't you?"

Tessa nodded solemnly, "Of course I do. I think he's stupid, too. But I'm not letting him go again." Through watery eyes, Tessa watched Johara contemplate the statement. She spoke again before Johara could. "Why didn't he tell your parents? Why haven't you told them?"

"It's not my place," she answered. "I wish he would because they still think you're perfect and that you're perfect for him. For some fucked up reason he still loves you and he trusts you so I guess I have to trust his judgement."

Tessa's heart plummeted into her stomach. That was the last thing she wanted to hear.

Johara left without saying anything else and Tessa quickly walked to the bathroom to make sure that she didn't look like a complete mess. That would raise questions – questions she didn't want to be answering.

It had taken a lot of discussion to get them both to a hotel room but that's where they ended up later that night. Rami had tried to tell her that his parents did not at all mind if they stayed at their house but Tessa couldn't shake the feeling of guilt.

"Do you really want me to tell them?" he asked as he watched Tessa turn down the bed. She had been mostly silent since they left the house.

"I don't know," she answered, looking at him with a hopeless shrug.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"Your parents deserve to know. It's hard to be around them knowing that they have no idea what I did. I'd rather they hate me because that way I'm not lying to them. I'm sick of lying," she said in exasperation. "It's exhausting."

Tessa watched him carefully as he started to change at the end of the bed – he was telling her that he'd tell them the next time he saw them in person but she wasn't paying all that much attention. Her focus was on when the right time would be to tell him about her most recent lies.

The right time was not that night.

a/n Shout outs to Star-Moonlight1, BellaRayne, starsxhearts23, AeonBlue, Straight Edge Queen and lookitsria or their reviews! And super duper shout out as always to AeonBlue for helping me! And to BellaRayne for asking Tessa about her favourite stuffed toy!

Check out the latest chapter of When You Mess With Fate to find out what would have happened if Tessa never cheated on Rami!