Chapter 9: What I've Become

Even with the lack of energy and the pain radiating throughout his body, Stiles' knee couldn't stop jumping. "There were a two months when the pain stopped. When he put down his blade, torch, and whip as long as I was a good student, a good apprentice. That's what he wanted, an apprentice. At first I was willing to do it. I was willing to do anything just to make it stop. He made me believe you didn't care, that you weren't even looking for me. And I was so tired. I could handle the pain but I couldn't handle…" He stopped, running a hand over his face.

"Couldn't handle what?" Malia asked naively.

Stiles took a deep breath before answering. "I couldn't handle the mind games. It was too much like the Nogitsune. It was just another Hell but worse because it didn't have the limits that the real world has. I just wanted to sleep. I thought maybe…" He took in a shaky breath. "I killed people. I did what he said and I used his techniques and I killed. I turned into the perfect apprentice. But after I'd healed, after I'd slept a full night's rest…I realized what I'd done. I wanted to stop. He said I couldn't stop, that I'd become something I could never undo. He said I had become him." That night haunted Stiles more than the night he'd been introduced to the flame torch.

Dead, cold eyes looked back at Stiles. He had done that. He had made those eyes lifeless. Before he could stop it, bile violently made its way up his throat and out. He threw up until he dry heaved, until there was nothing left. Tears streaked down his face relentlessly.

When a hand came down on his shoulder he jumped. "You did good, my boy. Third kill. You must be feeling pretty good about yourself."

Stiles shook his head fiercely, completely ashamed with himself. "No, I can't do this. It's not worth it. I can't kill anymore. I won't kill anymore." He tried to stand up in defiance but was kicked back to the ground with a steel-toed boot he knew all too well. "Fine! Kick me! Punch me! Beat the shit of out me! Cut me, burn me, do whatever your imagination can come up with! Even bring back the injections! But I won't do this again! I can't." He cried into his blood covered hands. "I won't…"

The man, the doctor, bent down to Stiles' level. "Yes you will. If I have to beat you before each kill, I will. But after each kill there is a bliss, a sweet point, and you know it. Simple psychology, conditioning, I'll make that bliss more. I'll make you crave it. Soon you will be begging me to let you kill another monster. My method works Stiles. It worked for me. It worked for my predecessor. It worked for the man who taught him and so on and so forth. You're going to become just like me Stiles."

"No…" Stiles tried to cover his ears but the blood of the dead on his hands dipped down his neck. "No, no, no…." He tried to shut his eyes and wake up but this wasn't a vision or dream brought on by the injections. Stiles really did have blood on his hands. "I won't be you!" He stood up and sent his foot into the man's side. "I won't be you!" He kept hitting until the man started to laugh. "What are you laughing at?" Stiles spat at him in disgust.

The man looked up at the boy with blood staining his teeth. "Look at what you're doing. You're already me." He started laughing again as shock took over Stiles face. "Just accept it and let me finish your training Stiles."

Stiles took a shaky step back. "No." His voice was just a whisper again.

"Fine. We'll do it the long and hard way then. But one day, one day you will become me. I will give you the final test and you will do what you did today to those ugly little friends of yours and you won't be nearly as conflicted as you are today. You'll smile like this." The man put on a big smile before slamming his fist into Stiles' face and making his world go black.

Stiles couldn't look at his friends. "He always said the final lesson would be killing all of you." His voice was so fragile and scared, but not because he was afraid the man would come after his friends. He was afraid he would.

"Well that's just ridiculous." Malia shook her head.

Stiles went to protest but Scott stopped him. "Malia is right. That's crazy; you wouldn't kill any of us, Stiles. You wouldn't kill any of your friends."

"Really? Are you sure about that Scott?" Stiles felt tears threating to come out. "Because the way I remember it, I've killed my friends before. Or have your forgotten all about Allison and Aiden?" He looked up at everyone in the room. "You shouldn't trust me. I've been gone for too long with someone who makes it his business to mess with peoples' minds and to make them into killers. I don't want to hurt any of you but I don't know what I'd do if…" He couldn't finish the thought.

Lydia took Stiles' hand. "It's okay Stiles. I believe in you. You aren't going to hurt anyone. Before, that wasn't you. You couldn't fight that, not like this. You still have control of yourself now. We just have to fight this psycho like everyone else. I'm not screaming for any of my friends tonight."

Before anyone could say anything else Scott's phone went off. Without letting anyone take the chance, Stiles answered it when his number was the one to pop up on the screen. "I did what you wanted. I killed a werewolf in front of all my friends. Now tell me where Liam is." Stiles tried to keep his voice as calm and even as possible.

"Yes you did, my good boy. You handled that pretty well. Although, I'll admit I was a little upset when you didn't take him out right away. It was like you were hoping your friends would take care of it for you. I thought we discussed being your own hero?" The man laughed.

Stiles was losing his patience. "Just tell me where Liam is at you asshole."

The man clicked his tongue. "Tsk, tsk, my dear boy. We have to do this right. Or have you already forgotten all about our time together? I'd hate to have to abandon this just to go back to step one all over again. And to be honest, I'm not sure your back could take that many lashings right now. And you really should eat something Stiles…"

"TELL ME WHERE LIAM IS AT!" Stiles gripped the phone almost hard enough to break it.

Again the man's laugh came through the phone to haunt Stiles. "You know where I want to meet you Stiles. Your first battle ground, the place you lost your virginity of sorts. The first time you caused a massacre without anyone but yourself controlling your body." The man took in a deep breath. "Oh Stiles, I can still smell all of the blood here, it's beautiful. Come here and I'll have your finally lesson arranged. Then, then you will be ready. Everything will be better. You will be better."

"I'm going to kill you, doctor." And Stiles meant it.

A laugh threw Stiles off. "If you kill me Stiles, then my training still didn't completely fail. You might not be fighting for my team but you aren't the sweet, innocent boy who didn't believe in killing anymore. You aren't naïve like that friend of yours, Scott. You know you can't save everyone. You know not everyone is worth saving. I just hope I can prove to you who those who are passed saving are. I'll see you soon boy." With that the call ended.

Stiles put the phone down slowly. "He wants us to go to a town close to here. There's a forest with this clearing about two miles in. It's not too hard to get to. I'll be able to find it pretty easily." A chill ran down his spine thinking about the last time he was there. He'd never forget it.

A gun shot ran out through the air. Stiles pulled the trigger again without a second thought. Two bodies hit the ground writhing with black veins as Stiles aimed for the next body. Claws came down on his shoulder, sending the gun flying into the air. Without screaming in pain or paying too much attention to the painful attack at all, Stiles turned on the thing that had jumped him, pulled out a machete as he did so, and took the head off in a few swings.

"Why are you doing this? We are living by the rules! We haven't hurt anyone in centuries! We haven't turned anyone in years! Please, have mercy…" The pleas of the old woman on her knees were cut short as Stiles pulled out his crossbow and sent two poisoned arrows into her, one in the head and the other to the heart.

Three more werewolves were killed before Stiles fell to his knees and let the fog leave his mind. He didn't let himself turn to face the field of dead. He didn't need to, he could smell all of the blood. The boy let a few tears fall for the poor souls he'd murdered before standing back up. "I did what you said, now will you let me go?"

A laugh came before a hand laid on his shoulder. "Oh my good boy, this is only the beginning." The man turned Stiles around to face the bodies and blood. Stiles couldn't stop the bile from rising and had to pull away to heave. He couldn't believe he had done it. He couldn't believe what he had become.

/I didn't get any responses on what you guys thought of a chapter with a Scott flashback (what it was like while Stiles was missing or to find out he was missing, or something like that). I can only think of a few more chapters before this comes to an end, I hope you guys like it. Also, thank you so much for the nice reviews you guys, they make my day (especially when I've had a rough week like this past week) and keep me writing so thank you! Anywho, thanks for reading, please review, and have a wonderful day! :) /