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CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

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A/N:- Banner by FatesLoveQueen

I own nothing. Boydblog helped me with this and I'll be forever thankful.

She fixed. I fiddled. Any mistakes that remain are on me.

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~ EDWARD CULLEN ~

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I felt happy. I hadn't been happy since I'd made the fateful decision to leave Bella.

My happiness stemmed from one little action; a nod from Bella.

She'd agreed to meet me so that we could talk, and it was more than I could have hoped for after everything I'd done wrong. I was determined to remind her once more that I was going to be there for her for as long as she would have me at her side. I needed her to know that I loved her and I wanted more than anything to get us back to how we'd been before I'd stupidly walked away.

I set our 'date' for four o'clock, to give her time to go home and change into something more appropriate for the short hike to our meadow. I hoped it would also give her a chance to discover the gift I'd left in her room; something that might help to restore her faith in my love. I wasn't going to rely on it though; I refused to leave anything to chance any more. With Bella and I, something always seemed to get in the way of our happiness and I refused to let that happen again.

On the way home from school, I stopped at the store to buy some basic picnic food so that Bella would have something to eat if our conversation continued for as long as I hoped.

When I arrived home, I slipped in quietly. Everyone was busy preparing the house for the arrival of the rest of our family. Only Alice openly acknowledged my return, silently assuring me that I was doing the right thing and Bella would love my gift.

As anxious as I was to get back to Bella, I wanted to give her the opportunity to appreciate the present I'd made for her. It had taken a good part of my morning to make sure it was perfect. If it made her smile, even a little, it was worth it.

I was in the middle of packing the picnic into a backpack when Alice called to me with her mind. Her visions suddenly filled with images of Bella.

Bella was standing by her truck and Kieran was standing in front of her. He whispered something to her before leaning in to kiss her. Almost as soon as his lips touched hers, he raced away. Bella slumped against her truck and tears began to well in her eyes.

I saw red. I didn't know what he'd said or done, but he'd upset her.

I was already in Carlisle's Mercedes and halfway down the driveway before I replayed the scene again in my mind. I couldn't help wondering what had come before it; what he'd whispered to Bella and why she was crying.

Was he saying goodbye?

Had he hurt her?

I knew it was hypocritical of me, but the idea that he had said or done something that hurt her made me furious. I'd made that mistake once, through my own ignorance, but he knew how fragile she was. He knew how easily she could be broken.

I clenched the steering wheel, twisting until the leather groaned in protest beneath my fingers.

My mind kept returning to Alice's vision.

I wasn't sure what to expect when I arrived at Bella's house, but I knew I needed to get there as quickly as I could. I drove like a madman through the streets, not caring about anything but my final destination. It was only the fact that I wanted to keep up a modicum of humanity when I took her on our 'date' that I hadn't run the whole way—it certainly would have been quicker.

As soon as I rounded into Bella's street, I saw her. She was standing in front of her house in the exact position she'd been in Alice's vision. She was slumped heavily against the side of her truck. Her red-rimmed eyes were shimmering slightly with the few tears which remained unshed.

I was out of the car the instant it had come to a stop.

"Please…don't leave me!" She cried out softly when she saw me.

I wrapped her securely in my arms and held her as tightly as I dared.

"I'm not going anywhere," I promised.

Her body seemed to melt against mine and a fresh stream of tears started. After a minute, she pulled away slightly before brushing away her tears.

She laughed mirthlessly. "All I seem to do lately is cry."

I cupped her cheek with my hand.

"I seem very good at causing that reaction," I said sadly.

"I thought you'd leave. I thought you'd see what happened and you'd leave."

"What happened?" I asked softly.

She looked at me wearily. I wanted to tell her that she could trust me, but words wouldn't be enough to convince her.

"I told Kieran…" She took a deep breath. "I told him that I wanted you."

Her last words were barely a whisper, carried to me softly on the breeze and yet they sent my heart soaring with renewed hope.

"Are you going to leave again now?" Her voice held so much pain and uncertainty that it sliced straight through my happiness.

I didn't know how to tell her again that I was back forever, so I pulled her into my arms, in an attempt to relay my promise to her wordlessly.

"You haven't been inside the house yet, have you?" I asked after a moment.

She shook her head 'no'.

I thought of the gift I'd left for her.

She doesn't know about it yet.

She didn't know why I was late to school or of the effort I'd gone to for her. With everything else that had been going on, it was no wonder she was shivering in my arms.

I held her tightly, relishing the way her scent caused my throat to burn. I would never be able to give up the feeling of having her close.

"Do you mind if we leave a little earlier than planned?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"Does Charlie know you're going out?"

"Not yet. I was going to leave him a note."

"I'll do it," I said.

With Bella's sharp intake of breath, I instantly remembered that I'd left a note for Charlie last time, when I'd done the unthinkable.

"I'm sorry," I said, apologizing not only for the reminder I'd unwittingly given Bella, but for the mistake I'd made initially.

"I'll just be a minute," she said quietly, extracting herself from my arms.

I was reluctant to let go. I had so much I needed to confess, so much more I needed her to know.

I waited outside, giving her as much space as I could bear, but when she hadn't returned after a minute, I followed her inside. I found her bent over the kitchen bench with a pen in hand. Her brow was furrowed into a frown.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Huh?" She shook her head slightly before lifting her eyes to meet mine. "Oh, sorry, I guess I just spaced-out for a moment."

I closed the distance between us and rested my hand on the small of her back. "If you'd rather stay here, we could—"

"No," she said. "It's fine. I'll just finish this."

She scribbled a note to Charlie that said she was out with a friend and would be home later.

"Shall we?" she asked when she looked up again.

I nodded before wrapping my arm across her shoulders as I led her from the house.

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I refused to release Bella's hand as I drove toward the meadow. I was determined to show her with every action and tell her with every word that I was here to stay. I'd barely taken the turn-off before she tilted her head in thought. A small, reminiscent smile crossed her lips.

"Are we going hiking?"

"I can carry you, if you prefer?"

She turned her head to look out the window. "We'll see."

I couldn't deny that the idea of running with her the way we used to was enticing. We would certainly get to our meadow sooner, and have more time to spend together.

I parked the Mercedes near the hiking track. I raced around to open Bella's door before she had a chance to open it herself. I reached in and grabbed the bag I'd packed for her picnic.

"Can I help you to the meadow?"

She sunk her teeth deep into her lip before nodding.

As Bella wrapped her arms around my neck, I felt like everything was right in the world again.

"Close your eyes," I murmured.

"I'm ready," she said, then whispered almost-silently, "Please don't hurt me."

I was certain I wasn't meant to hear the second part of her statement, but I was determined to take note regardless. I ensured she was secure on my back and then ran as quickly as I could to our meadow.

When I stopped I expected Bella to be pale or sick. It had been a long time since I'd carried her in such a fashion. I was worried it might have been too much for her. Instead when I looked at her, she had a small smile on her face.

"I missed that," she admitted.

I touched my finger to her smile. "I missed that."

I laid the rug out on the ground, smoothing it before patting it lightly. "Would you like to sit?"

She sat beside me. "This is so surreal. I thought…I thought you were going to leave. I didn't think I'd ever have this again. At least, not here, and not with you."

"I promise to give you everything, anything you want." I was starting to doubt that there was anything I wouldn't give her if she asked—yet I just didn't want to risk her safety.

"I want what we had."

"We can go back to that," I promised. "I'll do whatever it takes."

"Actually I meant…" She trailed off and looked away, absently picking at the rug.

"You mean in that other place? Where we're married?"

She looked a little surprised at my knowledge but nodded.

"Will you tell me about it?" I asked.

"It's…" She seemed to hesitate and I began to wonder how different it was. "It's almost like it's real. Like I am that person, feeling the things she feels. It's me, but it's not me. I'm older there, and wiser, at least in some ways."

A blush rose up her cheeks and I wondered in what ways she was wiser there.

"That world is filled with people I know from this life, but not in the same way."

"How do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, Renee isn't my mother there, she's my boss, and a bit of a bitch. Your family hates me; they blame me for driving you away from your ex."

"My family could never hate you, Bella," I said, not knowing what else I could say to reassure her.

"It's just so different. There's no such thing as vampires, no supernatural intrusions on life. We were married and we were happy."

How many times have I wished I'd met Bella when I was still human?

Her dream world reflected some of my own desires. If we were both human, I wouldn't have to worry about hurting her; I wouldn't be faced with the constant internal battle of desiring her blood.

"It sounds perfect," I said.

She wrapped her arms around her legs, hugging them into her chest. A shadow seemed to creep over her features. "It wasn't."

She dropped her head to her knees and I wanted nothing more than to reach out and comfort her. I needed to find out more about that world if I was going to help her move beyond whatever pain it was inflicting on her. I stroked her cheek, tilting her head back up so she'd meet my eyes.

"Why not?" I asked.

Her lip quivered as she looked at me.

"You…you cheated on me."

It was a breathless admission, yet it was enough to send me reeling.

"You have to know I would never do that, Bella," I said.

"But you left me." The quiet hurt in her voice screamed through my mind louder than a banshee cry.

"And I will never stop regretting it."

She turned away for a moment, her breaths hitching slightly. She was trying to get control of her emotions. I wished I could find a way to erase the hurt I'd caused.

"Kieran explained why you did what you did…in that other place."

I bristled at the mention of his name. "What did he tell you?"

"The truth."

She was so quiet and sounded so broken I wanted nothing more than to fix her. I had no idea how to do it, or even where to start.

"I'm not good enough for you, Edward."

I wanted to tell her that she was wrong, but she held up a hand to silence me.

"I mean I don't feel like I'm good enough for you. You're just so…so perfect." She pushed herself to stand and stepped away from me.

I followed behind her. "I'm far from perfect, Bella. I make mistakes. The biggest one of all was the day I said goodbye to you."

"Part of me still can't believe that."

I wrapped my arms around her, breathing a sigh of relief when she relaxed back into me rather than pulling away. "Please, Bella, you have to believe me when I say that I love you. I understand that I hurt you; I hurt myself as well. There's nothing I want more than to fix it. I couldn't bear it if I lost you."

She bristled and stiffened in my arms.

I held her tighter. "What's wrong?"

"You said something similar to that before; in the other place."

"I can't even imagine what it would be like to have to deal with two worlds."

"The hardest thing is trying to reconcile what's real and what's not."

"You know now though, don't you?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I guess. I mean I'm pretty sure this world is real. Everyone keeps telling me it is, but that other place…it just feels so real. I can't believe it's nothing more than a dream. Dreams don't hurt like that."

She turned around in my arms.

"The mind is a strange and complicated thing, Bella. Trust me," I tapped my forehead. "Add the influence of a talented vampire and it's not surprising that it feels so real."

"I was pregnant there," I could hear the tears threatening in her voice, "but I…I lost the baby. It made me realize what I want, Edward. I want a family, and the human life you wanted for me."

Although it was something I'd always waited for—and that part of me had hoped for—the idea that she now desired normal, human things that I couldn't give her broke my heart.

"But I don't want any of that more than I want you."

"What?" My whole world seemed tilted on an axis.

Her body shook lightly in my arms. "I understand what I need to give up in order to be with you. I know what I'll be missing now. But if you're really going to stay, I'm willing to give it up to be with you."

The news made me both ecstatic and sad.

"I need something though..."

She pulled away from me and sat down on the rug, tapping it lightly to ask me to join her. I sat quickly, desperate for her dissipate my misery and tell me what it was.

"I need you to change me."

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A/N:- *Raises hands in the air* Mea culpa for the long delay, my life has been a boiling pot of work, colds, flus & study. I've been writing furiously lately though & I will be working to reduce the delay for the next chapter.