Chapter 6: You're Always Going to be Afraid

"Focus, Ed, focus," he told himself as the words on the book in front of him blurred. He blinked to clear his vision but the words blended together once more. He placed his hands on the side of the desk and pushed back on it so he was balancing in his chair on the back two legs. "Some sleep would do you some good."

He knew that he couldn't go to sleep, that he didn't want to go to sleep. If he slept, he would have to see her again and he wanted to stay away from her as long as possible. He knew what she could do and he didn't want have to experience it ever again.

He kept himself awake, trying to find out why that was happening to him and if there was a way to stop it. He came up with nothing, no reason as to why this was happening at this point in time all of a sudden.

He glanced at the mug that held coffee and made a face as he reached for it. He never liked the taste of coffee but he forced himself to drink it because it had the caffeine he needed to stay awake. He squeezed his eyes as he took a large gulp of the drink. Once it went down his throat he pulled a face and immediately put the cup back.

His head started to pound and the shouting that was coming from outside only made it worse. He went over to his bed and lay down; only getting a few minutes of peace and quiet before the door flung open and a mass of red hair ran in his direction.

"Ouch," Edmund grunted when Lucy landed on his chest. "What have you been eating over at your school?"

Lucy smacked Edmund playfully on the arm before wrapping her arms around his neck in a hug. Edmund gently patted her on the back with one arm, which was what Lucy expected. She sat back and smiled brightly at him as his eyes shifted from her, to Susan, to Peter who was standing by the door, staring at him.

"What's going on?" He demanded as he sat up, keeping his eyes on Peter. "Why are you here?"

"We wanted to see you," Susan replied, keeping her eyes locked firmly on him.

"Bull," he muttered as his eyes narrowed. "You had chances before but you never came. Why did you want to see me now all of a sudden?"

"We have to do work too," Susan said in an offended tone. "It's not like we have parties over there all of the time. We're actually there to work."

"Yeah, all two of you," Edmund snorted, referring to Susan and her friend Beth. Aside from Lucy and some girls in her grade, Susan and Beth were the only girls at St. Finbar that seemed to actually want to be there to get an education. The others talked about nylons, lipsticks, and invitations. Edmund had a feeling that it was only a matter of time before Susan and Beth became one of those girls and he hoped against hope that Lucy would never become one of them. In his mind, Lucy was like him and Peter, always looking for an adventure. "Really, why are you here?" He directed the question to Peter than his sisters.

"We're worried about you," Peter finally spoke up as he came to the center of the room. Susan and Lucy turned to look at him before looking back at Edmund.

"I'm fine," he mumbled, moving Lucy off of his lap so he could stand. Susan placed her hand on his chest and pushed him back so he was sitting on the bed once more.

"No you're not," Peter replied as he shook his head.

"Yes I am," Edmund replied as he jumped to his feet and tried to leave the room but Peter grabbed his shoulders and held him at arm's length.

"No, you're not!" Peter all but yelled in his face. "You're not sleeping, you're not eating, you're pale, you have dark circles under your eyes, and you don't have the energy that you had before. Something's wrong with you and we're not going to let you leave until you tell us what it is."

"What about your studies?" Edmund sneered. "That's all you seem to care about."

"That's not true and you know it," Peter hissed. He would hit Edmund if he had to, if Edmund kept provoking him. He knew he would end up regretting it but if it would knock Edmund to his senses he wouldn't hesitate to do it. A shiver rolled down Edmund's spine when he felt something cool on the back of his neck. No, not again. Please, don't take me again. Peter's eyebrows knitted together when a scared look came across Edmund's features. "Edmund?" Peter questioned as he shook his brother.

"Edmund, what's wrong?" Susan asked as his breathing starting to come out labored. "Edmund? Edmund?"

"No..." he said, barely above a whisper. Lucy rushed to his side and hugged him around the waist to see if she could calm him down. She was surprised to feel him trembling under her touch.

"Edmund, stay with us," Peter called as he shook Edmund, to try and bring him back. He could see a distant look in Edmund's eyes that covered what he was really feeling: fear.

Edmund blinked and could feel himself slipping, being pulled away from them. He brought up his hands to grab onto Peter for something to hold onto but he was moving in slow motion, as if he were underwater.

"Edmund! Edmund!"

He could hear his family shouting his name to get their attention, but it sounded so distant to him, like he was underwater and he was going to be held there until he suffocated.

"Come back to me, Edmund," her voice filled his ears as he tried harder to get out of the hold that was slowly constricting him.

"No!" He yelled as he tried to fight against it as fear made his heart pound against his chest.

"You ruined my plan once. Now, you'll pay for it. Come to me, Edmund."

"No! No! Leave me alone!"

He blinked rapidly as his vision started to blur. It cleared up a little bit every time he blinked but the blurriness came back faster and faster each time. He finally grabbed onto Peter's arms. "Peter! Help me! Help me!" He shouted, but his voice was muffled. Almost everything was silent now, he could barely hear his siblings yelling at him as he felt his strength fade away.

He was suddenly pulled backwards, as if there was a hook in the collar of his shirt. He felt his hands sliding off of Peter's arms and he desperately grabbed at Peter's hands. He held on for as long as he could before he was finally pulled away into the white abyss. He was floating, he couldn't hear anything. Everything around him was cold.

He finally landed in the packed snow, knocking the wind out of him. He struggled to get his breath back as he started shivering uncontrollably. I...I had them in my grasp...I don't want to be here! I want to go back!

Edmund slowly lifted his head when a carriage came into his view. He gulped when he saw Jadis's smiling face.

"It's good to see you again, Edmund," she said icily. "I've missed you."

"Peter!" Susan wailed. "Where did Edmund go? Where did he go?"

Peter didn't know how to answer the question. A few seconds before, he had Edmund in his grasp. He could feel Edmund being pulled away from him as Edmund's body heat dropped and his hands felt like ice. Peter tried to hold on as long as he could but Edmund was pulled out of his grasp and he disappeared into thin air. If Susan wasn't trying to get Peter's attention he would've thought that it was a bad dream.

"Peter, it was Narnia," Lucy announced.

"What?" Peter and Susan asked in shock.

"It was Narnia," Lucy repeated.

"How can you be so sure?" Peter asked. "We don't...it just..."

"It had to be Narnia," Lucy insisted. "Narnia is the only thing with enough magic to pull someone back like that, I know it is."

"We have to get Edmund back," Peter whispered. "We have to get back to Narnia."