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CHAPTER THIRTY

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A/N:- Banner by FatesLoveQueen /oed60p

I own nothing. Boydblog helped me with this and I'll be forever thankful.

She fixed. I fiddled. Any mistakes that remain are on me.

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~ EDWARD CULLEN ~

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Just as I was beginning to grow concerned about Kieran's true intentions, he began replaying his interactions with Bella for me.

I saw his apology to her and I smiled when she told him, 'Love is all the things I have with Edward.'

It was the greatest gift he could have given me at that moment, effectively assuaging my concern and reassuring me that she felt no pain.

It didn't make up for his putting Bella's life at risk, but I was relieved that I knew what was happening in her mind.

I was willing to disregard his transgressions—for the moment. I still wanted him to pay for allowing the harm that had befallen Bella, but I was all too willing to give Bella a reprieve from the pain her body was going through. I could still clearly remember the agony of my own change, and I was thankful Kieran could save her from that.

I felt confident that I'd done the right thing.

I felt joy that there were no major obstacles remained between Bella and me anymore.

She's going to be by my side forever.

Shortly after dispatching Victoria, most of the wolves left. Jacob remained in human form, hovering over Bella and me, and watching with horror while she underwent the change. Two other wolves, Jared and Paul, had stayed on Jacob's orders. They ignored me sitting on the floor and Bella still cradled in my arms; their entire focus concentrated on Kieran. They could see his red eyes and had witnessed what he'd done to Bella. It was clear from their stance that one false move from Kieran would forfeit his life.

My entire family arrived and I breathed a sigh of relief. Despite their apparent acceptance, I wasn't entirely sure that the wolves wouldn't try to stop Bella's change. Jacob kept vacillating between joy that she hadn't died and worry about what she was becoming.

'What happened?' Carlisle asked.

"Where are Laurent and Irina?" I asked, noticing their absence immediately. I needed them to pay for their role in what happened to Bella.

"They said something about heading home before running off," Carlisle said. "Why? What's wrong?"

"I'll tell you later," I growled. "Right now, can you please take a look at Bella?"

I needed to let him know about Laurent's and Irina's involvement, but having him assess Bella was more pressing. Although her breathing was steady, and her was heartbeat stable and increasing, I wanted Carlisle's opinion. Before he'd even knelt at her side, Alice spoke.

"She's going to be perfect."

Her mind showed me an image of Bella and me together. Bella's eyes were fading to amber, the color that signified a newborn following our 'vegetarian' lifestyle. I was relieved as I saw the beautiful smile gracing Bella's lips. She was with me, and she was happy.

Esme placed her hand on my shoulder and beamed at me. 'They're going to get their happy ever after.'

Carlisle chuckled. "I'll check on her anyway, just to be sure."

He started to run through her vitals and checked the wounds. He saw the make-shift chain link scalpel and the tube I'd fashioned from Bella's pen, and silently guessed at their purpose.

I nodded to confirm.

'You did a good job, son.'

His thoughts were full of pride, knowing how easily it would have been for me to succumb to temptation and drink from her. Then his thoughts changed direction. 'We need to think about what to tell Charlie.'

I hadn't even given Charlie, or any of Bella's family and friends, a second thought. I was just so happy that I'd saved her. Now that I had the opportunity to think though, there was only one option I could see.

"We need to make it appear as if we've run away together," I said.

"Aww, are things that bad at home, Eddie?" Emmett asked.

Unlike Rosalie, who was uncertain how to process what she saw in front of her, Emmett was practically bursting at the seams with excitement. As far as he was concerned, things were finally how they should be. Bella was going to be officially part of our family.

"I think you're right, Edward," Alice said, ignoring Emmett's outburst and concentrating on the visions of the future dancing through her head. "Charlie will be upset, but if Bella calls him regularly, he'll eventually accept it."

"Right now, I think we need to get Bella home," Esme said.

Jasper kept casting uncertain glances at Kieran—sensing the guilt that practically rolled off him—but mostly relished in the joy my family exuded.

I'd never really appreciated how much joy my family would derive from Bella's change. I'd been selfish in denying them this simple pleasure for so long.

"Kieran must come with us," I said. Then I turned to the wolves watching him. "We'll take care of it from here. I'll make sure he doesn't hurt anyone else."

Fear raced through Kieran at my words, but he soon concentrated on Bella's mind again.

"I'm coming with you too," Jacob said.

I looked at him in surprise. I couldn't believe that he would willingly walk into a house full of vampires.

'I just need to make sure she's okay.'

I stood, holding Bella tightly to myself. "If you want to, you're welcome, but if it makes you too uncomfortable, I'm sure Bella will understand."

"I want to see her before you disappear."

"Okay." I nodded. I turned to my family. "Let's get Bella home."

Home.

The word held new meaning.

Bella was, and would forever be, my home.

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~ BELLA SWAN ~

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I had the night to myself to think about what was happening. I was aware that the world around me wasn't real, but I was willing to play along with the fantasy.

I knew Edward loved me.

He changed me.

I didn't know whether he'd done it because he felt he'd been left with no other choice, but there was always a choice. He could have let me die, but he didn't. He chose to keep me by his side. The thought of it made me incredibly happy. I was thankful that Kieran had given me the chance to make things right in my subconscious before it was too late. I didn't want any lingering doubts. I was strong now.

Edward and I would be strong together.

Having time to think about my worlds and my mind gave me greater insight into so many things I'd felt. I thought about my relationships with the people in this world and what they reflected. Some of my interactions now came with a new clarity, but some things would always remain a mystery, locked in my subconscious.

My mother; I'd scripted her into a role that was aloof and uncaring. I wondered whether it was because I felt she hadn't fought me when I'd made the choice to live Charlie.

Had I felt unwanted by her?

I thought about poor Jacob. My subconscious had fashioned him into a villain. In reality our friendship had been easy, but there was an undercurrent of something else. Deep inside I realized that he wanted more. My mind wasn't ready to accept another romance so soon after Edward's departure. The only reason I couldn't reject Kieran in the same way was because he was an intruder who had control over his own presence. The Jacob of this world was nothing more than a puppet of my mind and a warning from my heart not to let him in.

And Edward. Though we'd suffered so much in this world, I knew now that it was because he was a reflection of my own doubts and my own fears.

My mind turned to the real world and I wondered exactly how much my body was suffering. The pain I'd felt when I'd regained consciousness was excruciating. I could remember Edward's cool hands caressing my skin but they weren't nearly cold enough to extinguish the burn racing through my veins. I shuddered as the short memory assaulted me.

I was happy to be in this place rather than the real world, I only hoped that Edward wasn't suffering too much by my side. It was almost ironic for me to think that I'd gone from Edward waiting at my bedside in one reality to him waiting by my side in the other. The circumstances were wildly different, but it once again helped to cement my certainty in his love.

Edward came back to the hospital long before visiting hours officially started. It was a welcome relief to see him looking happy, refreshed and clean-shaven. It was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. For the first few hours, we joked with each other, dancing around the tensions of a new day together.

Edward seemed to skirt around the edges of a conversation he wanted to have multiple times but changed the topic at the last minute each time.

I believe in our love. I'm ready to hear anything he has to say. I'm ready to claim everything I deserve.

I had no doubts any more, but I could tell Edward needed to give his confession. Almost as soon as I'd had the thought, Edward turned to me. A new, serious look was in his eyes and I knew we were about to have the serious conversation we needed to have.

"I can't believe I almost lost you for the second time. I'm going to have to ban you from driving cars." He chuckled softly, but it was almost a broken sound. "I would never have forgiven myself if you hadn't survived."

He sighed and turned away slightly. He stared unseeingly at the wall.

"I've asked myself why I let you think I'd cheated a thousand times since the accident. I think partly it was because I let Rosalie into my head, but that's giving her too much credit. I love you, Bella. I love you so much that sometimes it sends me crazy." He looked at me intently. "I saw red when I realized how close you were becoming to another man. I was so fucking jealous I couldn't see straight.

"You are beautiful, smart and so much more desirable than you realize.

"I panicked when you told me about the baby; not because I was scared of starting a family with you but because I worried that I wouldn't be enough. How was I supposed to provide for the two of you? I didn't know if I could support you the way you deserved. I wanted to make sure I did everything in my power to ensure neither of you went without."

I nodded. I'd known, or at least suspected, that much.

"Rosalie came in to see me at the office one day, with an incredible business deal. It was going to take some work to win the pitch, but if I did it…well the commission value would have been life-changing for us. You could have given up your job at Renee's permanently.

"Then everything started to change. I know I was working so much but it was almost like I didn't know who you were anymore. I thought I was losing you because when I saw you at the diner, you were flirting with…him. I didn't even know who he was to you, and yet I was so insanely jealous that he got your smiles."

I wanted to say that I wasn't intentionally flirting with Kieran, but I replayed our interactions in my mind. I tried to picture what it would look like to someone else witnessing our secret smiles and inside jokes.

"Then you started the new job with him and I thought it was because you wanted to spend more time with him. I couldn't ask you about it because I was so terrified you were going to tell me that I was right. I didn't want to be right.

"When you had to go to the hospital, I almost lost it. I was so mad at myself for not being there when you needed me and I was so scared for you and the baby. I just about lost my fucking mind when I heard that a man I didn't even know had taken you to hospital and taken care of you. I worried that I'd already lost you, but I didn't know how to fix it. I threw myself into work, stupidly thinking that if I could just seal the deal, we'd have the money and time to reconnect.

"Then Rosalie came to me with the video of you on her phone. Now I can see that it was innocent, but on top of everything else it just felt like it was too much at the time. I couldn't hold any of it in any more."

His hand squeezed mine tightly. I bought our joined hands to my lips and kissed his fingers softly.

"I tried drowning my sorrows but when that didn't work, I went to see you at work. You looked so happy when you were around him. I was certain it was proof that my worst fears had come true. I'm so sorry for what I did next. What I said…it was unforgivable."

He swallowed heavily and I could tell he was desperately fighting his tears.

"When I saw the fear in your eyes as you looked at me, I thought it was because you thought you'd been caught—it didn't even occur to me until I was by your side in here that it was because I was being such an asshole."

Tears flooded my own eyes. There'd been so many missteps and miscommunications over the past few months. Both Edward and I were to blame for the state of our marriage. I vowed that I would never allow the same doubts to enter my real relationship with Edward. I would never doubt his love. I would talk to him about my feelings. If I could avoid any of the same issues in the real world, my time in this place would be worthwhile.

"I'm saying all of this now, Bella, because when you get out of here, I want to walk through our front door and into our future together. I love you and I want to work this out. I want to get everything on the table. No more doubts."

I cupped his face and bought his lips to mine. "No more doubts."

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After our conversation, the day passed quickly. Edward disappeared for a while in the afternoon and then brought back a romantic dinner. He even remembered candles so we could eat by candle-light.

I didn't know how he bribed the nurses to allow him to be by my side longer than usual visiting hours, but I wasn't going to complain. I enjoyed that he was spoiling me because he loved me and because I deserved it.

On the second night since I'd woken, shortly after Edward had made yet another begrudging exit, a doctor on his usual rounds came to give me some news. He gave me clearance to go home the following morning. I was still battered and sore, but healing.

I was incredibly happy that I would soon be out of the hospital bed. It was almost as if the healing of my physical body in this place was a manifestation of the repairs to my mental state.

I was already off the machines by the time Edward arrived the next morning. He practically beamed when I told him I was able to leave. He seemed to realize, just as I did, that although things weren't perfect between us, they were improving. We both agreed that we wanted to be together and were willing to move on from the issues of the past.

Edward helped me to secure my seatbelt when I was seated in the car. He asked if I was okay when I winced as the seatbelt exacerbated the pain from the bruises across my shoulder and chest. He checked on me regularly as we drove home. We said little to each other, but the silence was more thoughtful than uncomfortable.

We pulled into the driveway and he killed the engine. Rather than getting out of the car though, he took my hand in his. He traced my palm with his thumb. "Are you ready, Bella? The future awaits us; it's just inside that door."

I took a deep breath and turned to him. I knew now what I needed to do and I knew it was the time to do it. His words were too perfect, almost as if someone was calling to me, trying to coax me out of a dream.

"I am ready. But this isn't real."

He looked at me in surprise.

"You're a manifestation of the concerns I have in my real life. I thought I wasn't good enough for you. A tiny part of me was even slightly scared of you; of the damage you could cause my heart. This place, this life, it showed me what I wanted and what I'm strong enough to do without. I know what I'm giving up, and I know what I'm gaining. I have no doubts about you or about how you feel for me. I don't want you to have any either. Not any more, not ever again.

"When I walk through that door, it will be the beginning of the new stage of my life. It's a little scary because I don't know everything that's waiting for me, but I'm more than ready to find out. It won't be you that I'll be embarking on this next stage with though. It won't be an idealized version I have of you. It won't be a version of you that I've projected my fears onto. It will be the real you, Edward. Flawed but still perfectly you, and I can't wait."

I leaned forward and kissed his cheek.

I was filled with anticipation but no trepidation.

"Will you walk me to the door?"

Almost as if he understood what I needed to do, Edward nodded.

Hand in hand, we walked toward the front door of the house we'd shared. Light poured out of the cracks around the door. I reached for the key, suspended on a necklace around my neck.

Edward squeezed my hand lightly.

I pushed the key into the lock and twisted it.

I paused before pushing the door open, taking the opportunity to press my lips softly against Edward's.

"Thank you for being here when I needed you. Thank you for helping me to heal. I'm going to leave you now, but I will carry you with me forever."

Forever.

I pushed open the door and light flooded my vision. In the middle, standing like a dark angel in the brightest day, was Edward. His eyes were like liquid honey and intently focused on me. He smiled as I stepped toward him.

The Edward beside me held my hand, supporting me silently as the light enveloped me. As I stepped through the door, his hand released mine.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you too."

I closed my eyes as the warmth of the light flooded through me. It built in intensity until it became almost unbearably hot and scorched through my veins. My heart pounded desperately fast, each beat running into the next one without reprieve. It felt as though it was trying to break free from my chest.

The fire that burned through my body began to recede as it consumed all the fuel in my muscles. As it contracted, each of my limbs was left feeling cold and bursting with energy. I couldn't enjoy the sensation though because my heart beat faster still; smashing against my ribs with so much force I thought it would shatter them.

"It's time, Edward," I heard Alice's voice but it sounded different. I could hear new bell-like tones and subtle qualities I'd never noticed before.

"I know," Edward's voice, also richer and sweeter than I'd ever heard before, was filled with joy. "Bella, my love, I'm here."

My heart flew faster still.

"Try to relax," Edward's voice soothed me. "It's almost over."

I reached my hand in the direction of his voice. His fingers wrapped around mine and he held it tightly. His hands no longer felt cold, his skin no longer like stone. Instead, his hand was the same temperature as mine and his skin yielded to my touch.

"I told you she'd be perfect," Alice said.

My back arched involuntarily with the pain of my throbbing heart. Edward murmured quiet, soothing words. I thought my heart was going to give out, but everyone else in the room seemed cheered by the racing thuds.

I thought I'd made a mistake and come back to this reality far too early.

The pain in my chest reached a peak and then, with one final exhausted effort, my heart stopped beating.

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A/N:- Thank you everyone who has supported, favourited, reviewed, etc this story. There is still a little more to come, but I wanted to say thanks now to make sure I never forget. Thank you to everyone who reviews even though my reply rate is unintentionally terrible (I figure you'd rather the next chapter...right?).