Chapter 10: 'Cause Everytime You Fight the Scars are Gonna Heal

Lucy shivered. She rubbed her arms with her hands as fast as she could to create some friction but it wasn't helping at all.

"Now all I have to do is find Edmund," she muttered to herself. She looked in the distance in the direction of Cair Paravel and thought it would be best to go to Cair Paravel first. That way she could get warm and get something to eat and then go out looking for Edmund.

She trudged through the snow as quickly as possible but it was hard. The snow came up to her knees, soaking her tights, making it harder for her to move. She kept her mind on rescuing her brother and getting to the castle to take her mind away from how cold she was.

"Keep going…L-Lucy…you n-n-need to s-save Eh-Eh-Ehdmund," she muttered to herelf, forcing herself to keep going. Her eyes felt heavy, her limbs were weak. Her teeth chattered so much that her jaw was starting to hurt. 'I should've grabbed a coat from the wardrobe.'

She shook her head but it felt as if she was moving in slow motion. She looked down at her hand and tried to curl her fingers but they were moving so slowly. The wind brushing agiasnt her eyes caused them to tear and the tears immediately froze to her face.

It was colder than she remembered. Much colder. She collapsed to her knees and struggled to keep her eyes open. Everything around her was swimming and she felt cold. Numb. She struggled to take in a breath but she only found herself falling into darkness faster and faster.

"Pe…ter…"

Lucy's eyes finally closed as she collapsed onto the snow.

Susan's eyes flew open as she drew in a gasp. Her dream started out normally but then it changed to Edmund walking around Narnia, without anything to drink or eat. His clothes were tattered, his hair askew. He was just skin and bones, his eyes sunken in, dark circles matching the darkness of his browns. He had opened his mouth, struggling to say something, and that's when she woke up.

She knew Peter was right; they couldn't leave him in Narnia by himself but charging into the unknown…? Peter couldn't think straight, he was too afraid for his brother to think clearly. That's where Susan came in. She could see that his plan had many holes that could lead to their demise.

She sighed. She wanted to help Edmund, really she did, she just didn't want to admit that she didn't know how. Peter thought he knew, but deep down she knew that he didn't know what to do either. Getting back to Narnia through the wardrobe would be a risky. It didn't work every time they opened it so what made him think it would work now?

She shoved her blankets off of her bed and stretched. She slowly tiptoed out of the room, as to not wake up Lucy. She shivered once she stepped into the hall. Being back in the house brought back many memories that all hit her at once, a waterfall of emotions surged through her. Was it just a few short months ago they were in this house hiding from the bombers? Was it just a few months ago that she sat by the window worried about what was happening to her mother every day? Was it just a few short months ago they went to Narnia?

Sure, they were stuck in Narnia for years, enough that they aged to their twenties (well, she and Peter to their twenties, early thirties) and had become respected Kings and Queens of Narnia. Susan smiled at the memory. Peter was about to get married and have a High Queen of Narnia, someone to help him out whenever things got bad and someone who loved him for all of his flaws. All of them liked her, Edmund not so much at first but they just chocked it up to Edmund being his passive-moody self. After a few weeks he grew to liking her and even wanted her as a sister.

Susan herself was getting suitors by the day. Peter and Edmund had some sort of screening process for them all. They claimed it was because they didn't want her to be hurt in the future and they wanted her to go without the pain. She knew it was their way of being protective, well overprotective, but appreciated their concern…to an extent.

Edmund and Lucy, back then they just enjoyed having fun and growing up without the responsibilities she and Peter had. Susan envied them sometimes, not that she'd let them know it. Sometimes she just wanted to leave the castle, run out across the lawns without shoes on, the wind in her hair.

But that was such a foolish thought for a Queen.

Susan found herself in the library. "Maybe I'll read a few books. That'll help me get to sleep," she told herself. She turned on the lamp, went to the wall of books and dragged her finger across the spines, reading the titles. She finally grabbed a book that seemed interesting to her, sat down, and read it.

She didn't know how long she had been there reading when the door swung open with a bang. She jumped in her chair and turned her head around as her heart beat against her chest. Peter was standing in the doorway, eyes wide, panting heavily.

"Geeze, don't you have any manners?" Susan demanded, turning her attention back to the book. Peter crossed the room, grabbed the book out of her hands, and closed it with a loud snap. "What's your problem?"

"Where's Lucy?" Peter demanded.

"What do you mean where's Lucy?"

"There's only one definition to 'where's lucy'! Now where is she?"

"In her bed, sleeping! Which she probably won't be much longer if you keep yelling at me for no reason!"

Peter leaned close to Susan's face. "Lucy is gone!"

Susan blinked. "What do you mean gone?"

"I mean she's not in bed where she's supposed to be," Peter replied, pacing. "How come you didn't notice she wasn't there? Why didn't you stop her?"

"I was asleep, Peter, don't blame this on me," Susan snapped.

"Who else can I blame it on, huh? You were in the same room as her."

Susan gripped the ends of her hair and let out a slow breath. "Where did she go?"

"Where do you think?" Peter demanded.

He turned and stalked out of the room, Susan followed him quickly. They navigated the halls until they reached the room that hid the Wardrobe from sight. Peter pushed open the door, remembering to stay quiet so they wouldn't wake up Professor Diggory. He stared at the wardrobe, not moving as if he didn't believe it was right there in front of him. Susan was the first to move, knocking into Peter's arm along the way. He glared at her back but didn't say anything as she grasped the handle of the Wardrobe, but she didn't pull it open. Peter stared at her, wondering what was wrong.

He then noticed that she was stiff and breathing funny. He gently put his hands on top of hers and gave it a little squeeze. She turned around and looked at him with big brown eyes, eyes which spoke volumes of what was surging inside of her. It was in that moment, looking into her eyes, that every feeling of anger and fear that filled him disappeared instantly and was replaced with a feeling of serenity. He gently placed a kiss on her forehead, his way of telling her that everything would be ok. She blinked, smiled a little, and turned back to the door. They tightened their grips and pulled it open.

They gasped at what looked back at them.

Clothes.