Chapter 13: You're Stuck in the Same Old Nightmare

Edmund could hear Lucy's soft whimpering. He hated hearing her cry. It was worse knowing that he was the cause of it all. What would Peter say? What would Susan say? What would his father say? Edmund felt a chill run down his spine at that thought alone.

All he ever wanted was to make his father proud of him. It's what he lived for; it's what he strived to do. But it seemed like every time he tried, he only failed. No matter how hard he tried things never turned out the way he planned. He would do something to upset Lucy or say something nasty to Peter and then have to see the disapproving look his father would bestow upon him.

The look almost killed him every time he saw it. It felt like he couldn't do anything right to get his father's look of approval. He knew that his father loved him dearly but he didn't feel it. It wasn't as obvious to him as it seemed to be for Peter, Susan, and Lucy. He was stuck in the middle, always overlooked. Whenever he was in the forefront it was because he made a mistake. Never because he did something right.

Edmund sighed and rolled over, wincing at the looks rocks that poked into his bruised skin. He knew he couldn't be complaining, at least he was alive. He chuckled at the realization that that thought alone was what kept him going. He wanted to give up so many times but he knew he had to keep going for his family.

"Edmund," Lucy whispered.

"Yeah?" he whispered back.

"What if we're stuck here forever?"

"Would that really be a bad thing?" He asked, looking in the direction her voice was coming from in the darkness. He remembered when they were free to run around the castle, playing tag and hide-n-seek, searching for their next adventure. He remembered the endless days riding their horses around the castle, playing games in the river, and going off to battle every now and then. What lasted years in Narnia only lasted a few minutes back home but, to Edmund, lasted a lifetime in his mind.

During school he'd constantly find himself back in Narnia, sparring with Peter, avoiding Susan, and playing games with Lucy. As long as they were free, he wouldn't mind being stuck in Narnia for the rest of their lives.

But he knew what she meant and weighed his answer in his head. He wanted to tell her the truth but he didn't want to alarm her. He took his time coming up with a good answer. "We won't be," he replied.

"What makes you say that?"

"As your big brother it's my job to protect you and I will get you out of here, Lucy. I promise," he replied, keeping his voice as strong as possible. For her sake, of course. As long as he kept repeating it in his head he figured he'd start to believe it.

But I'm still a kid, he rationalized. How much can I do? Then a different thought filtered into his mind. I'm a King of Narnia, I can do anything. I can get us out of here….But how?

"Did you see Mr. Tumnus?" Lucy's small voice broke the silence once more.

"No," Edmund sighed. "I was there by myself."

"I'm glad." She muttered. Edmund chuckled. "I…I didn't mean it like that, Edmund! I swear! I was just saying—"

"I knew what you meant, Lu," Edmund told her. "I'm glad I was by myself, actually."

Edmund could see Lucy's doe eyes getting wider in his mind. "Why?" She asked.

"This is my fault," he replied simply. "I should be punished for it."

"This isn't your fault, Edmund,"

"Yes it is. I wanted power. I was going to betray you all for power and the other suffered because of me." Edmund could see the Battle of Beruna flashing before his eyes. He could hear the cries of pain, the thuds of dead bodies hitting the ground, the screeches from the gryphon's that had been flying in the air being pierced with arrows. He could smell the sweat and the blood as if it were right beneath his nose.

"Why did you want power so badly?" Lucy asked in a small voice.

Edmund bit his lip. He could feel many reasons tumbling around in his mind, each one forcing its way out but none of them felt right. He knew Lucy wanted the truth"I wanted to be better than Peter." As soon as the words fell from his mouth he realized that it was his driving force behind everything he did. "I wanted that for so long. Everything I tried to do, Peter could do it better and it…it didn't sit right with me. When I came here and the White Witch offered me power and to rule…I wanted it so badly. It was something that Peter didn't have and…I guess power blinded me."

"Oh, Ed," Lucy sighed.

"I know," Edmund mumbled.

"You and Peter aren't the same people."

"I know."

"I don't think you really do," Lucy said in a firm tone that Edmund had only heard in his mother. It always scared him when his mother used it, it was worse now that Lucy had the power. "You and Peter are two different people. There is nothing about you that is the same…except for your last name but that's not the point. You and Peter ruled differently, you and Peter react to situations differently. You are not Peter, Edmund. You're not. Stop living up to impossible expectations that you set for yourself."

Edmund let out a slow breath through his nose. He knew that Lucy was right (when wasn't she?) but it was easier said than done. She didn't know what it was like being stuck in Peter's shadow. She didn't know what it was like to have to live with the idea that their father liked Peter better.

Edmund bit his lip again and rolled over once more. He coughed when a few specks of dust flew down his throat once he took in a breath. How long ago was it that they were in the castle? He didn't remember the lower rooms being so dirty. Then it hit him.

"Lucy!" he gasped, sitting up as best as he could. Everything hurt when he moved. He squeezed his eyes shut and took quick breaths while the pain slowly faded away.

"What?" Lucy asked. He heard a scuffling sound and guessed she had gotten to her feet at him screaming her name.

"We're so stupid," Edmund said as he waved his hands in front of his face, trying to find her. He gently cuffed her ear in the dark. "Sorry," he said with a little laugh, imagining a scowl on her face. He found her shoulders in the dark and shook her. "This is our castle."

"I'm aware of that, Ed," Lucy replied.

"No, Lucy, think. This is our castle. We know every inch of the place!" He said excitedly, gripping her shoulders a bit tighter.

"Edmund, what're you getting at?"

"You've never been down here before," Edmund realized. "Peter brought me down here once, to show me what everything looked like. I remember coming down here once while we were playing hide-n-seek and I found something."

Lucy gasped."What? What did you find?"

"I found an escape," Edmund replied, his ears buzzing at the words. "I, I think. I didn't try and open it or anything but there's…a little space on this wall I think leads to an escape tunnel."

"Why would we have one if someone else were to use it?"

"In case we were put down here, I guess," Edmund replied, turning around and feeling against the wall. "I just…I don't know where it goes."

"As long as we can get out of here," Lucy said from next to him. His fingers brushed hers before he moved down the side of the wall.

"Well, it might end up taking us straight to the White Witch," Edmund mumbled.

"But it might not," Lucy replied."We'll never know until we try."

"Right."

The two worked together in silence, carefully feeling every crack, bump, and groove in the wall for a way out. Edmund crouched near the floor, keeping his mind off of the dirt and dust that was steadily collecting on his hands. He made faces at the random scraps of rotting food that was on the floor of which that Lucy had left. His fingers moved against the wall until he felt a strange straight-line crack in a groove between the bricks. He followed it until he traced a large square outline. His heart jumped at the discovery.

"Luce, come here, I found it!" Edmund called.

He could hear Lucy's rapid footsteps in the dark as he traced the shape again; making sure it was actually there. She dropped down by his side and he grabbed her hand, outlining the shape as well. Just then the door to the dungeon swung open and bright light illuminated the dark cell.

"Quick!" Lucy gasped and the two started to shove on the mass of bricks. Edmund could feel it shifting slightly under their weight as the voices at the top of the stairs got louder. His heart beat quickly against his chest. It was so loud it took over any other sound in the room. If it weren't for the shadow that was growing in the light he wouldn't have been able to hear their captor coming down the stairs.

"Move, move," Edmund said quickly, gently shoving Lucy out of the way. He got onto his back and pressed his feet against the brick. He gritted his teeth and concentrated on using his energy to push the brick out of the way.

Finally it gave way. A strange creaking sound filled the dungeon, as if the bricks were sliding against each other. He didn't give it a second thought as Lucy blindly crawled her way through the space. Once she was cleared Edmund followed her.

He stood up in a large tunnel, about the size of the tunnels at the train station. Torches lined both walls and illuminated the tunnel. It stretched on and on in front of them, Edmund and Lucy whipped around at the sound of fury and watched as the bricks that Edmund had moved out of the way slide back into the wall as if they hadn't been moved in the first place.

"Where does it go?" Lucy asked. Her small voice echoed in the high-walled tunnel.

"I don't know," Edmund replied. Then he grabbed her arm and tugged her down the tunnel. "But we shouldn't wait to find out. Once they realize we're gone the White Witch will send her wolves out to look for us."

The siblings moved quickly in silence. Edmund kept his eyes on the walls in front of him for any other tunnel leading in a different direction but it only went straight for what felt like forever. The floor by the crease of the wall hitting the floor sparkled in the light of the torches, as if they were damp. Lucy looked over her shoulder every now and then to make sure they weren't being followed. The sounds from the dungeon were long gone; the only sounds that filled the tunnel were made from their shoes or their breathing.

"I didn't know there was a secret passage there," Lucy commented.

"I found it by accident," Edmund replied. "I know where others are. I hope she doesn't find out about them, though."

"Where do those lead?"

"Some just to a safe room, like where we held our weapons and clothes in the treasure room, there are a few other rooms like that. I think one passage leads out to the orchard, one leads to a side of the courtyard, and in Peter's room there's a passage that takes him down to the kitchen."

Lucy laughed, "I wondered how he always managed to get the most of the Turkish Delights. Susan will have a fit if she ever finds out he's had access to his midnight snacks, even when she's hid them."

Edmund smiled as well. "Don't tell her I told you, Lu. He doesn't even know that I know."

Lucy's smile slowly faded. "So what do we do now?"

"Find the end of this tunnel and go look for help, I guess," Edmund replied.

"Where should we look first?" Lucy asked.

Edmund scratched at the back of his neck. "The woods, I guess. It should be much safer than staying near the castle and I'm sure many of our friends went and hid out there."

"I hope so," Lucy whispered. "I hope they didn't cross the White Witch. I couldn't bear the thought of losing more friends because of us."

"I know, Lucy, I know," Edmund whispered. They were close to being free but he still felt like he was being watched.

A/N: It's been forever and a day. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Any burning question about this story or about me as a writer can be sent to my formspring (http:/www. formspring. me/CrystalManning).

~C.M.