A/N: Hello lovies! Again, sorry for the delay but between school, my original work, and a giftfic for JayRain (it's coming, I promise!) it's been hard to find adequate time to get this out. School is winding down (only one more week. Goddess help me through finals!) so expect the next installment to be posted in a much more timely fashion.
There are a lot of references to the two fics this follows cannon on, "If I've Killed One Man, I've Killed Two" and "Heavy Are the Hearts that Wear the Crown." Feel free to give them a read should you so desire, but I don't think it's that confusing to those who haven't read them (at least I hope not).
Thank you once again to everyone who has reviewed/faved/followed. I try to respond to each review, but I think I lost track of one or two last go around. So if you haven't received a reply I'm very sorry, but please know I value your readership greatly!
R&R lovies, reviews give me strength while I study for finals!
Evanthe pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes, rubbing harshly in an effort to wake herself up. No one took any notice of her or her fatigue they were so caught up in their arguments. After having been tracked down by Leliana, Evanthe and Cullen had been dragged into a lengthy and thoroughly infuriating discussion about the state of Thedas' nobility. The king and queen, along with Harlow and Zevran, had been in attendance as well, each adding their voice to the quagmire of differing opinions. The meeting was taking place in one of the garden's storerooms, far away from prying eyes, which made the whole situation a bit absurd. Arguing over power plays while being squeezed next to bags of grain and faded bits of art hardly gave off the appearance of import. The space was made all the more crowded by the presence of the eluvian, a towering and ominous addition that Evanthe found herself glancing at every few moments. The mirror didn't seem to bother the others, indeed they had barely spared the thing a passing glance, but Evanthe couldn't shake the feeling that the mirror was watching her, waiting patiently for her to take action. Feeling a deep unease she would occasionally look around, to see if the others felt the same unsettling suspicions, but none of them paid the relic any mind. It appeared that the delicate dance of ego stroking and and presenting a united front took precedence over ancient artifacts. Evanthe, completely unskilled in the art of diplomacy, offered very little opinion on the matters of state that were being discussed, leaving the finer details to Ferelden's monarchs, heroes, and her few remaining advisers
"That's all very well and good," Leliana insisted mid-argument, frustration beginning to seep into the edges of her voice. "But the fact remains that the DeLauncourts will view the Lyon's involvement with the Inquisition as an insult."
"I view it as an insult, Lei," Alistair countered, sighing deeply. "The last time I had dealings with the Lyon's I distinctly remember crossbow bolts being shot at my head. But I can't deny they hold an impressive cavalry."
"His Majesty is right," Cullen interjected. "A mounted battalion such as the Lyon's will increase our offensive efforts greatly, where as the DeLauncourts offer nothing beyond foot soldiers and craftsmen."
"Yes, but at twice the number!" Elissa cried. "And in case you haven't noticed our armory is in quite the sorry state. Do not belittle the addition of craftsmen, not when we have so little to call our own."
"You forget all of this means less than shit if one or both of these men are dead, right?" Harlow countered. "Arguing numbers and propriety is all well and good if you're still breathing but who is to say Corypheus hasn't already made a play against these two houses?"
"My sources indicate both houses are safe, for the time being," Leliana answered. "Which is why we must choose. We cannot invite both without causing problems."
"This is why you rescued me?" Alistair bemoaned. "This was always your passion, Elissa. You should have left me in the deep roads if you wanted to play politics."
"By all means, husband mine, keep it up and I may very well send you back," the Queen snapped in reply. Alistair grinned at the display before leaning down to peck at her cheek.
"You wouldn't dare," he replied cheerily. "Who else would you snarl at?"
"Zevran's been filling that role quite nicely," came Elissa's tart retort.
"And such a delightful role it has been mi regina. You are so lovely when you yell," the assassin countered with a wicked grin. The look Alistair gave in reply could have flayed flesh from bone, but Zevran merely smiled in return.
"If we could return to the matter at hand," Leliana forced out with the bare minimum of politeness. "As I was saying-"
"Oh, enough!" Evanthe cried, throwing her hands in the air, sick with the whole discussion. Everyone in the room seemed a bit taken aback at her outburst, as if they had clean forgotten her presence.
"Herald-" Leliana began.
"I appreciate the effort, I do, but I can't sit through another discussion about who offended who and what house is worth more fawning than another. That might have been the way things were done before the breech, but I very much doubt it remains so. And even if does I'm not entirely convinced it should continue to be."
"Then what would you suggest?" Elissa asked, the dare to do better plain in her speech.
"Invite them all," she answered with a shrug. "Who cares what bad blood lingers between their houses? Corypheus surely doesn't, and they are fools to think that such pettiness has a place in this war."
"It's pretty to think they'd all have left their grudges behind, Evanthe, but trust me, if anything this war with Corypheus has made those rivalries worse. Politics will never stop, even if the world is burning," Harlow sighed, sounding thoroughly put out at the whole situation.
"Well, the world is burning," Evanthe snapped, "and I highly doubt those shems have failed to notice."
"Shems," Alistair remarked fondly, "If you close your eyes it's almost like Shianni is still here."
"Not quite," Elissa remarked with amusement. "Evanthe isn't quite so prone to profanity."
"Maker, I can only imagine what Shianni would make of this," Harlow added with a chuckle.
"I can almost hear the tirade now, yes?" Zevran remarked. "The screaming alone would be devastating."
"Can we focus!" Evanthe shouted. "I'm very glad I could help to orchestrate this moment of fond memory and reunion but there are somewhat dire matters to attend to!"
"Now it's starting to sound like Shianni," Harlow muttered and nearly everyone had to cough to hide their snickers.
"Send out the missives, Leliana," Evanthe grit out from between clenched teeth. "If the nobility ever wants to see Thedas whole, they will, at the very least, hear us out."
"Of course, Herald," Leliana replied, her eyes sparkling with amusement.
"What's next?" Evanthe sighed, praying desperately for this meeting to be over.
"Mercenary groups and the like."
"These are a bit trickier," Cullen added, a small frown pulling at the edges of his mouth. "Such groups were disinclined to be found before the breech opened, Maker only knows how deeply they've gone to ground with all that's happened."
"But they're out there, right? They have to be."
"They are," Leliana answered, "but it isn't so simple as sending a missive and waiting for them to show. Mercenaries, assassins, spies...they do not work for free and are deeply mistrusting. It will take a great deal to woo them to our cause."
"Everyone needs something," Evanthe muttered in disgust, "even when there is nothing left."
"We don't need them, Evanthe," Cullen offered. "The nobility can provide more than enough force to bolster-"
"We need everyone, Cullen," she retorted, "no matter how unscrupulous they may be. Root them out, Lei, we'll deal with the fallout later."
"Zev might be able to help with that," Harlow interjected, earning her an Antivan curse in reply.
"Is that so?" Evanthe inquired.
"No," Zevran was quick to answer.
"Zevran was a crow," Leliana clarified.
"Once upon a time," Harlow added.
"And now they think me dead!" the assassin spat. "An arrangement I have come to quite enjoy, yes?"
"Time to crawl out of the grave, my love," Harlow insisted with a shrug. "The world's gone to hell, we don't have time to play hiding in plain sight."
"She's right," Evanthe agreed. "Apologies but I need every weapon I can find. Contact the crows, get them here, but be careful not to promise too much."
"Fanculo, Ignacio will lord this over me to the end of days."
"Something that may be fast approaching. Now, there is still the matter of-"
"Boys!" a beleaguered voice cried out from the gardens, followed a moment later by the royal twins rushing into the room.
"Father!"they cried in unison before running full tilt towards the king. Alistair met them with open arms, swopping them up and spinning them about, much to the young princes' delight. Torin appeared a moment later, panting and doubled over at the waist.
"Apologies," he wheezed, "I tried to distract them but the moment they heard of your return they slipped my grip."
"It's more than fine," Alistair chuckled, beaming with joy as he set his sons down upon the ground. "How have my princes been?"
"We've missed you!"
"Mother's been fighting."
"I lost another tooth!"
"The Herald made a dragon!"
"Did you bring us anything from the deep roads?"
As the boys continued to assault their father with questions and tales of their adventures, Evanthe found herself laughing merrily. The twins were whirlwinds of chaos, all smiles and bright eyes, pleased beyond reckoning to have their father once more. In that moment Evanthe could have cared less about the nobility or the criminal underworld, Corypheus could wipe them off the face of the earth for all she cared, so long as there would always be this moment of two sons reunited with their father.
"Hello, Alistair," a husky and somewhat malicious voice intoned from the doorway, bringing an abrupt end to the happy moment. The king groaned in displeasure at the greeting and rose from his crouch, his eyes closed and head thrown back in irritation.
"Morrigan," he grumbled. "Of course she would be here. Dark powers at work and all that."
"Alistair..." Harlow said quietly and with desperation.
"Oh don't 'Alistair' me, you hate her as much as I do," he retorted, turning slowly around to greet the witch. "I would have thought..."
An intense quiet settled in the room as the king laid eyes upon Kieran for what Evanthe assumed was the first time. Morrigan stood protectively by her son, one hand placed gently upon his shoulder. To the casual observer she seemed nonplussed by the situation, but there was a wariness to her and a tensing of her shoulders that was hard to miss. For all her bluster and dramatic flair, the woman was worried about this meeting, and it made Evanthe wonder why she orchestrated it in the first place.
Not a word was spoken for quite some time but everyone in attendance fidgeted uncomfortably, trying to look at anything besides the dramatic tableau being played out before them. Evanthe, for her part, found she could tear her eyes away. The similarities between father and son were striking, painfully so, and a thousand emotions passed over the king's face as he took in the child standing calmly before him.
"You never told me," Alistair said coldly after a moment.
"'Tis untrue," Morrigan responded with just as much animosity. "I told you the night of his conception."
"That's not what I meant and you damn well know it," he snapped in reply. When Kieran flinched a bit at the harsh tone, Alistair's face softened and he delivered his next words gently and without malice. "You should have told me."
"And you should have told me," Elissa responded with a deadly calm, causing everyone's attention to turn abruptly towards the queen.
"Elissa..." Alistair choked out, taking a step towards his wife.
"I thought there were no more secrets between us," she accused, her chin rising a bit in defiance.
"There weren't...there aren't," the king insisted.
"And yet here the boy stands," Elissa remarked, and it was hard to argue against her logic.
"Perhaps we should redirect the conversation back to point," Cullen offered, trying to make peace and ease the tension that had filled the room.
"This conversation is nearly a decade in coming, commander, I will not have it derailed because you are uncomfortable," the queen replied with icy precision.
"Elissa-" Evanthe protested gently only to be cut off by a raised hand from the queen.
"You should be pleased it's being discussed at all, Herald," Elissa mocked. "For all your questions and prodding I would have thought you to be fascinated by this outcome."
"That isn't fair, Elissa," Evanthe murmured quietly.
"Nothing about this is," the queen replied, her eyes hard.
"We shouldn't do this in front of the children," Harlow hurriedly interjected, gathering up the twins. "Torin?"
"I'll take them to their lessons," the elven guard replied, placing a hand upon each boys back. "You too, Keiran." The elder child obeyed without complaint, but the twins protested vehemently against being taken from their father so soon after having him returned. Somehow Torin managed to corral them out into the gardens, promising them sweets and play if they behaved themselves. Once they were out of sight, Alistair sighed deeply and turned to address his wife once more.
"I didn't tell you because I didn't know," he said quietly, pleading for her to understand.
"That's not true, Alistair," Harlow argued.
"Precisely," Morrigan agreed. "Do not pretend otherwise. Even your precious Harlow knows the truth of it."
"Shut up, Morrigan," Harlow spat before turning her attention back to Alistair "You knew, Alistair. Morrigan may be many things, most of them unpleasant, but you can't pretend she deceived you in this."
"I never lied about the intentions of that night," Morrigan reiterated, voice gone a bit softer. "Both of you knew what would be wrought from that ritual, do not pretend I played you false."
"You might not have lied but sin of omission is just as bad," Alistair argued. "Ten years and you couldn't even bother to write? Not even a note to say, 'oh, by the way nitwit, I gave birth to our son. Love, the scary witch'?"
"That was not the bargain struck," Morrigan growled. "Do not insinuate otherwise."
"I care very little for bargains struck and whatever ill-fated parenting decisions were made," Elissa cried out angrily, striding over to stand in the middle of the verbal fray. "The boy exists, that is all that matters. A fact, it appears, everyone but your wife was privy to. All of you, even you, Leliana, knew this, and not one of you breathed a word."
Silence met the queen's statement, and not a single person would dare meet her gaze. Everyone knew they had erred in this, had merely thought it a dark bit of past that would never surface to haunt them once more. No one could have imagined something as horrifying as Corypheus and what he would make of the world, forcing them all into this fragile reunion where secrets long buried were brought to light.
"How many times have I invited you into my home?" Elissa continued quietly. "How many times have you sat at my table and partook of my hospitality, all while nursing this secret and keeping it close? I have suffered many insults in my life, chief among them a promise made between two lovers to set me aside when their deaths came calling, but this? I have no words for the decade long deception you all played me."
"It was never our intention to hurt you, mi cara," Zevran offered quietly, trying in vain to comfort her. "Somethings are better left unsaid, yes?"
"Don't, Zevran," Elissa replied with a deadly calm. "You do not get to play my protector whilst harming me with your silence. Seven years I have known you, have called you friend and held you in my confidence. Six months beyond that have I found comfort in your company and relied upon you in a way that few others have earned, and still...not a word. I thought I held a better place in your heart than this."
"You do, mi regina," the assassin insisted. "The love I bear you, it is why I kept this from you. I did not wish to see your pain. You understand this, yes?"
"And just how much of my wife's heart do you hold?" Alistair asked dangerously.
"Don't change the subject!" Elissa snapped, thrusting an accusatory finger at Harlow. "You don't get to feign jealousy when you spent the last six months deep below ground with her."
"Something you always knew was coming," Harlow retorted, and Evanthe was shocked to hear the queen out right snarl in reply.
"It would be wise of you to hold your tongue, hero," Elissa ground out. "We are not below ground and he is no longer yours."
"That's enough!" Evanthe cried out, her voice echoing through the small space. Everyone in attendance snapped their heads around to glare at her, pain and anger flashing through their eyes. It was unsettling to have so much animosity aimed in her direction but she stubbornly stood her ground, refusing to flinch.
"Clearly there is a veritable library's worth of history between all of you but this is not the time,"she continued and when Elissa opened her mouth to object Evanthe cut her off by barreling ahead, refusing to let the queen get a word in edgewise. "I know that this hurts, Elissa, I do, but do not act as if you did not have it within your power to tease this secret out. Morrigan has been here for quite sometime, and from the moment you saw Kieran you could have easily confronted her and learned the truth of the situation. Instead you chose to let it fester, drawing your own conclusions and biases until all that was left was a feeling of victimhood"
"A very pragmatic view, Herald," Morrigan chimed in approvingly.
"And you" Evanthe retorted, rounding on the witch with scarcely concealed disgust. "The fact that we are even having this discussion rests entirely on your shoulders. Your desire to feed your sense of dramatic flair, or your ego, or who knows what, is what drove you to spring the boy on the king in such a tactless fashion. There were a thousand better times and places to do this and yet you chose now, all because you enjoy seeing people in chaos. It is little wonder these people hold you in such contempt."
"I came for the mirror, Herald," Morrigan hissed. "Do not presume to know my intentions."
"And the boy just happened to come along?" Evanthe countered at the same time Harlow angrily asked, "You fetched that monstrosity for her?"
"I fetched it for the Inquisition," Evanthe snapped, "Morrigan merely pointed the way."
"Trust me, Herald, if that woman has her fingers in any plans for that mirror it doesn't bode well. I'd be very careful about just what she intends," Harlow warned.
"A risk you won't have to take seeing as you aren't in command. As for the rest," she continued, breathing deep and trying to remain calm. "I care very little for your romantic entanglements. Promises made and fidelity kept are of no interest to me. I did not venture into the deep roads so you lot could play out your very own grand tragedy for my amusement. Whatever lies between you is not the concern of the Inquisition. There is a time and place for your grievances and it most assuredly is not now. Is that clear?"
When nothing but stony, sulky silence met her speech Evanthe sighed, forcing a cheerful smile to spread across her face.
"Excellent!" she chirped "Now that we're back on topic, I'd like to discuss matters of offense. We've hidden behind Skyhold's walls for far too long. Cullen, how close are we to launching an assault on Corypheus?"
"It depends on what you mean by 'assault,'" her commander replied. "Anything beyond small battles and skirmishes would be hopeless, our numbers are simply too small. Until we receive more troops there is little we can do."
"Small skirmishes," Evanthe mused. "Would it be possibly to orchestrate such a thing? A blow against Corypheus is still a blow, no matter the size."
"With the coordination of Leliana's agents I'm sure such a battle could be arranged. Perhaps if we-"
"So sorry to just barge in but my brilliance couldn't wait a moment longer," Dorian roared happily, bounding into the room with a pleased and self-satisfied grin plastered across his face. Solas trailed in quietly behind him, his face serious and closed off. When the man refused to meet her gaze Evanthe became nervous, certain that, despite Dorian's jubilation, the news the mage brought would be complicated.
"We're in the middle of something, Dorian," Cullen growled.
"Trust me, commander, whatever you're in the middle of will soon cease to matter," the mage replied, pushing past him as he strode to stand before Evanthe. With a grand flourish Dorian reached for Evanthe's hand and deposited there a heavy amulet adorned in silverite and crystal. Evanthe stared down at the necklace and felt her heart freeze in her chest. She could feel the power of magic pulsing through the metal, a delicate hum that resonated just below her skin. The amulet that lay in her palm, heavy and ornate, was something she had begun to think impossible.
"When?" she whispered, feeling devastated. She had wanted this, once upon a time, but so much had changed in the span of two months that the magics of the amulet no longer held the lure they once promised.
"Five days ago," Dorian replied, a bit of his joy diminishing upon seeing her unhappiness. "Or, rather, the design was complete then. I had to wait for the return of our dour elf to set the magics in motion. Solas' grasp of the fade was the final ingredient. I was right in my initial assessment; Alexius not only sent us through time, but through the fade as well, the cheeky bastard. "
"Herald?" Leliana inquired, confusion evident in her tone.
"Dorian's finished the amulet," she replied thickly, glancing up to address the room. "We can return to the past." She had meant to direct the news towards Leliana, seeing as the bard had been the one to ask, but somehow she had spoken the words to Cullen, the syllables broken with pain. Her commander reacted to the news with a quiet curse, his eyes pinched in worry, and the sound of that one word shot through Evanthe like an arrow. This was why she had resisted him for so long, had fought against the attraction and quiet flirtation because she knew, eventually, that they would find themselves in this exact predicament.
"What does that mean?" Elissa asked quietly.
"I'm coming a bit late to all this, but doesn't it mean that...all of this...goes away?" Alistair inquired.
"Yes," Evanthe breathed, clenching the amulet in her fist. "All of it."
"Should the amulet work it means the Herald and Dorian return to moment of their departure, effectively resetting time," Leliana clarified.
"And everything in this world that came after...ceases to exist," Cullen added quietly, causing Evanthe's heart to break anew.
"Do forgive a foolish question," Dorian interjected, sounding a bit put out, "but one has to wonder why you're all acting as if I've pissed in your tea? Where are the celebratory cheers? The lauding of my talents? Forgive me, but was this not what you bloody wanted?"
"It's complicated, Dorian," Evanthe sighed, handing the amulet back to the man. When Dorian, thoroughly irritated and put out, opened his mouth to argue once more, Evanthe pointedly tilted her head towards Cullen in a coded declaration. Dorian frowned before glancing between the two, realization coming slowly. When at last he grasped the situation he cursed softly in exasperation but still managed to regard Evanthe with compassion.
"It doesn't change anything, my dear," he insisted gently.
"I know," she answered, and the words were shards of glass on her tongue.
"So all of this...all of us...really just goes away?" Alistair asked in wonder.
"Everything of the last year, yes," Dorian answered. "No more green sky, nor more magisters run amok. It's will be positively restful in comparison."
"And not everything goes away," Harlow answered. "Corypheus will still have his plans in motion. We'll still hear the call."
"And we won't know it's false," Alistair replied.
"Which means you'll still take your leave," Zevran added bitterly.
"Zevran..." Harlow sighed in exasperation, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"No, mi amore, you ask much of me and I give it without complaint, but I will not hold my tongue on this."
"Do you really want to have this argument, only to have no memory of it in the past?" Harlow demanded. "This is pointless!"
"She's right," Alistair replied, "None this makes any difference to who we are in that time."
"It makes a difference then, just as it makes a difference now," Elissa seethed. "All of it still hurts, no matter the day."
And with that the argument started anew, accusations of half-truths and deception running a cyclical pointless argument that made Evanthe want to scream. She knew she should stop it, put an end to bickering and gain some semblance of control, but she couldn't quite bring herself to care. Dorian's revelation had changed everything, and the only thing she could think of was all that she would be leaving behind. It was more than Cullen, it was the friendships and the painful truths she had discovered in this world. In some ways living under a breach veiled sky had been easier, because at least here everything had been laid bare. She almost laughed to think how the people in that room had seemed strangers to her upon her arrival. It was a bitter irony that their past selves would now be just as foreign. More than that, Evanthe knew, without a doubt, that she was a different person thanks to the future, and she wondered if she would have a place in the what came before.
As the fighting continued Evanthe turned away, only to find herself face to face with the eluvian. Her reflection stared back at her unblinking, a woman who was lost beyond measure and uncertain of her place in the world. Reaching out she angled her fingers to touch the glass, wanting to offer comfort to the woman trapped inside the frame. The moment her hand made contact the mark upon her palm flared to life and the surface of the eluvian began to ripple, turning to glossy waves beneath her touch. Evanthe leapt back in surprise, a strangled cry rising from her throat. The unearthly hum and hiss emanating from the glass was enough to silence the various spats being shouted throughout the room, and everyone turned as one to gaze upon the mirror. A blinding flash erupted from the glass, and Evanthe flung an arm up to shield her eyes. When her vision cleared she was astonished to find an elderly, yet thoroughly impressive woman step out of the rippling glass. The woman was dressed for battle in a studded corset and sharp, polished grieves. Her hair was shock white, sculpted into dragon horns, and Evanthe realized with a start that it was the woman from her nightmare many weeks prior. The woman said not a word, but her presence elicited a strong reaction from those who had witnessed her arrival.
"Merda," Zevran groaned followed very closely by Harlow's "You have got to be kidding me."
But the reaction that surprised Evanthe the most was Morrigan's cold, and vicious observation.
"Mother."
"Hello, Morrigan," the woman answered, the greeting laced in sweet venom. Sparing not another moment for her supposed daughter the woman swung her gaze around to pin Evanthe with the weight of ancient power. "And here I thought you'd never be brave enough to touch the glass. Many thanks for the invitation."