Author's note: Thank you very much for all the reviews and messages.
Chapter Five
The sigh escaped her lips the moment she felt Jane's mouth against her shivering skin; against her neck. She plunged a hand in her dark curls to drag her closer to her body then passed a leg around her waist then arched her back in the process. It was hot and extremely quiet. The silence of the night loudly echoed her sighs, her moans.
Her fingertips went down Jane's back until they hit her bra. She unhooked it with an expert hand before rolling on her side to pass on top of her partner.
She captured Jane's lips immediately, full of an eagerness that she could barely control. Her hand slid down between her partner's breasts – caressed her stomach – before coming to die in the depth of her waist.
The touches weren't arousing but literally burning. Molded against each other, their bodies seemed to be on the verge of a tantalizing fusion of some sort. The more Maura deepened their kiss, the more she wanted nothing but to pass underneath Jane's skin. Then she would stay there forever.
In peace.
Her fingers resumed their intimate exploration. They reluctantly left Jane's waist to travel down her hip before finding a brand new interest in the moist skin of her inner thighs. The contact made Jane shiver. Maura smiled of delight, in her partner's mouth. The sweetness of their foreplay would soon melt into the intensity of more obvious caresses. Moans would replace their sighs and it wouldn't take them long to reach the paroxysm of their feelings, carrying their hearbeats through a dizzy waltz that would brush their limits.
In a very last feather touch, Maura brought her hand between Jane's legs and bit her partner's mouth to hold back her sigh better; the one elicited by the well-needed contact against the aroused flesh.
Everything turned blank.
Maura opened her eyes and stared at the wall in front of her for long - endless - seconds. The dream started fading away but the sensations it had stirred up were still there nonetheless, oppressive. Vivid at their best. She swallowed hard in the darkness of her bedroom then rolled on her back.
She was alone. The wind was blowing hard outside. She couldn't hear the rain but she was still certain that it hadn't stopped.
Jane.
Torn between a thousand feelings, Maura closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She let her hand pass under the blanket, slide along her body until it reached between her legs. Her dreams had left her on the edge.
Her index finger barely had time to brush her aroused flesh that she immediately took off her hand. She couldn't do that. Not while thinking about Jane. The situation was too complicated for her to add the silent guilt that the move she was about to succumb to may add to the whole thing.
She turned the light on and sat up in bed. It was barely 5am. Way too early to go for a run – especially in the rain – yet too late to try to resume her sleeping. Besides, she was now fully awake.
Out of an odd despair – almost in vain – she grabbed her laptop on the bedside table and turned it on. She opened a new Word document then stared at the screen in silence until her fingers started an uncertain ballet on the keyboard.
Dear Jane...
...
She had been waiting for this moment all day long. The lack of event at work hadn't helped her to focus on something else. Liv Mayer had stopped by to say hello and asked her if she wanted to go have lunch but Jane had already eaten by then.
They had settled on sharing a lunch on the very next day. Jane had chosen the restaurant. The life at the BPD was still awfully quiet so she could afford - for once - take a full hour - to have lunch with a colleague.
Perhaps she had really misjudged the psychologist. Her so-called appointment two days earlier had turned out to be a casual chat about the BPD. Liv hadn't tried to make her speak about anything personal. Jane had relaxed and she could now say that she actually enjoyed the woman's presence at work. There was nothing to fear.
Cuddled on the couch – a bottle of beer in hand – she pressed the green button to call Maura.
Maura had left six days earlier. Already. Almost a week. The kiss was still extremely vivid in Jane's head though. It hadn't faded away at all and was still bothering her but she was simply glad to see that it hadn't ruined anything.
The relationship she had with Maura hadn't exploded in a thousand pieces. Limits had just turned a bit blurry. Jane hoped it was only a matter of time before everything to go back to normal.
"Hi... You're in bed?"
Jane squinted her eyes at the screen. She didn't recognize the living-room of the Depoe Bay tiny house. The wall behind Maura wasn't the same and she could see large pillows on her friend's left side.
"Yes. I have finally bought a 3G USB key." Maura moved the computer around at a slow pace. "Welcome to my room..."
Jane gave her an appreciative nod. Their daily Skype sessions had turned into a ritual that she wouldn't miss for anything in the world.
As much as they sent text messages to each other, seeing Maura carried an extra force that made her evenings sweeter. It helped her overcome the distance and the bitterness loneliness her friend's absence highlighted.
"How's everyone doing?"
She had got used to the life of the house, how every single medical examiner seemed to have found their place rather naturally. She used to let Maura tell her who had done what and it carried her so lightly that when she put an end to the call several minutes later, a sentiment of emptiness always invaded her somehow. Then she felt lonely; lonely and lost.
"It's pizza night. The guys went to buy them. They lost a bet earlier during the day at the morgue so now they have to go out in the rain to bring back dinner. Vera has bought a ukulele. She's currently playing in the living-room. Can you hear her?"
Maura turned quiet and let Jane listen to the soft notes that easily passed through the thin door of her bedroom.
"A ukulele? What's next? A bonfire on the beach?"
The remark made Maura burst out laughing. She cuddled better in bed and shrugged at Jane. She hadn't dared to send her the letter she had written at 5am. It was ready and saved up on her computer but she hadn't found the courage to copy and paste it in an email.
It was too personal, too direct. If Jane happened to read it then she – Maura – was sure that she would lose her friend. Jane was too fragile for what-ifs and maybe's. She wouldn't be able to handle it. Not just yet.
"What have you done, today? Is it still too calm at the BPD? I can't believe the crime rate has decided to drop during my absence. You'll see it is just now waiting for my return to reach a new high peak."
Jane took a sip of her beer then cast a brief glance at Bass. The tortoise was literally staring at her with his blank eyes. It really made her uncomfortable. She would never admit it to anyone but she was certain that he could understand her words, even read through her attitude. Sharing the life of a tortoise was one strange experience.
"Yeah nothing special. We went for a couple of drinks after work. Liv joined us. She can play darts like nobody else! You'd have seen the guys' face when she beat 'em all."
Something set off in Maura's head, some sort of a quiet alarm. She sat up and frowned at Jane.
"Liv? Who is she?"
Her tone of voice turned out to be sharper than what she had hoped for. Too coward to apologize, Maura simply looked down at the keyboard and felt how her cheeks started burning. She was obviously blushing. Heavily.
"Oh... Nobody, just the new psychologist I told you about the other day. She's kinda nice actually. I mean she hasn't tried to go all doc' on me." Maura's absence of reaction made Jane smirk. The way her friend had pursed her lips didn't leave much room to the imagination. "You're jealous?"
Maura scoffed but didn't say a thing. She could hardly lie without breaking into hives and she perfectly knew that Jane was right. It was stupid but she didn't have a hold over her emotional reactions. And right now, she didn't like the way she was missing out some things.
"You don't have to feel guilty... Please, don't."
Because I liked it. I liked the kiss. Maura held her breath. The words had slid on her lips before she had even had a chance to realize what was happening.
Jane didn't ask for any further explanation. What for? She had perfectly understood what her friend was alluding to. It may have come out of the blue, she had expected it to happen one way or another at any moment. She sighed.
"I'm sorry."
A loud knock made Maura start. Matthew Barnes – her colleague from Michigan – poked his head inside and winked.
"Sorry to interrupt but dinner's ready. If you don't want to eat cold pizza... It's now or never, Maura."
Maura nodded at him before smiling apologetically at Jane. An impressive dose of courage – unless it was mere craziness – ran through her veins and pushed her to approach a finger from her laptop screen. She followed the shape of Jane's face. Slowly.
"Don't be sorry. Please... Don't be."
The Skype session came to an end a mere minute later. Maura stood up and slowly walked to the living-room. The shy conversation she had just had with Jane had left an odd feeling on her soul, a bittersweet one. They weren't done with what had happened and the sure thing was that she didn't want to wait another week to mention it again.
She couldn't. She didn't have the strength to remain quiet.
She gladly accepted the glass of red wine that Emma was holding out to her and took a long sip of it. The alcohol warmed up her throat almost lovingly.
She needed to send Jane the long message she had written in the morning. And who cared if it were too direct? At least she was being honest. Jane needed to read it, one way or another.