Author's note: Thank you for all the reviews; I'm sure Jane will visit Maura very soon (sorry for the guest who didn't like the previous chapter; I don't see Jane already having replaced Maura since the highlight of her day is her Skype sessions with her and that she feels awfully lonely when Maura isn't around).

Chapter Six

"He is divorced but still in this transitional phase. He doesn't dare. He only checks out. Give him a month and he'll be a brand new man."

Jane looked at Liv Mayer with perplexity then burst out laughing. She hadn't expected their lunch to turn into such a game. As a matter of fact, she didn't know how it had happened. All of a sudden, they had found themselves observing the customers in the restaurant and the psychologist had tried to read through them.

It was just a harmless game.

"What about me? What can you say when you look at me?"

Jane's question took them both aback. Her hoarse tone of voice had melted in an ounce of challenge, an incredibly fragile one nonetheless. Liv smiled but didn't reply. She looked down at her plate instead and proceeded to fold her napkin. The timid reaction surprised Jane.

"Am I unreadable?"

The question made Liv laugh quietly. The pace of their lunch had brutally changed, without any warning. She would need time to get used to it, to find the proper words that would highlight her sincerity.

"Nobody is, Jane. I simply didn't know that you wanted me to tell you anything regarding yourself. As a matter of fact, I even thought that you didn't want us to talk about you. You made it quite clear the day we met."

Fair point. More than fair, actually. Guilt wrapped up Jane. She bit her lips – in regret – before focusing on whatever was going on in the street; there, on the other side of the window. She sighed.

The days went by and terribly looked like each other. Nothing new was happening. Everyone seemed to be trapped into an awful torpor; a gray, boring one.

And lost among the static crowd, Jane thought about nobody but Maura.

She missed her. The conclusion was bare, simple. She had awoken in the morning thinking about nothing but the way her friend would have smiled at her; the way she would have laughed - lightly as Jane's clumsiness in the morning.

Their Skype sessions weren't enough anymore. They didn't bring enough satisfaction, any relief. Jane needed more, a lot more actually. Why? She had absolutely no idea. Nothing had happened, nothing special at all. They had talked the day before then one of Maura's roommates had told her that dinner was ready.

End of their conversation.

It had just been another Skype session. A harmless one. But the moment Jane had found herself facing the blank screen of her laptop, she had come to the conclusion that her life was a complete mess; that it had stopped making sense.

She had cried. In silence. The state of confusion she was in was tough to handle. The kiss had stirred up way too many feelings, way too many insecurities. She couldn't keep on pretending that it didn't touch her. The whole thing was a lie, a ridiculous one.

"Then tell me. Tell me what you see."

She didn't want to hear anything. She didn't want someone to force her to face a truth that she did her best to ignore. She wasn't ready for it. Not just yet. Never.

Yet her words had preceeded her thoughts, her inner desires.

"I see someone who's fragile, too fragile to dare to face a couple of things." Liv shrugged, apologetically. She didn't like the turn their lunch was taking. It was way too personal. "I think you're very sensitive; a lot more than what people may think."

Touché.

Jane slowly nodded. She couldn't complain about the psychologist's honest answer since she had asked for it in the first place. She needed to assume everything, no matter what. Even if it hurt. And it did.

"Do you think a single move – even, like, the tiniest one – can still have the biggest consequence ever on two people's relationship? On the... Connection they share?"

She couldn't even blame alcohol as she hadn't drunk anything but water. The words simply followed a smooth path and slid on her lips with a confusing easiness. It brought an odd relief to her soul.

"Maybe... Probably even. Life is fragile. A mere second can make it tip over." Liv Mayer cast a glance at her surrounding as if to make sure that nobody would overhear her then she leaned over the table and frowned at Jane. "Are you alright? You look pale."

Ironical question. Jane snorted and preferred to drown her uncertainty into her glass of water. She didn't know anything anymore.

Nothing had got broken per se but something had nonetheless ceased to work, something that caused her to put back into question every single aspect of her life. The work of introspection was a blurry one. She hadn't found any answer yet.

"I think I miss her."

She had faced Frost – her brother, Korsak – and her mother more times than she could remember but at no moment had she managed to put words on her current feelings. Then suddenly she did, in the middle of a lunch she shared with a perfect stranger. She barely knew Liv Mayer. They had spent two hours together until now. It was nothing, nothing at all.

Especially for someone like Jane who didn't easily trust people.

"Then you should tell her." Liv's 'her' sounded strange. After all, she had no idea whatsoever whom she was talking about. But the truth was that it didn't matter. She had understood the main lines, how something bothered Jane. "There are some things – some feelings – we should never keep inside. They are made to see the light."

Easier said than done.

Jane nodded but didn't reply. She wouldn't have been able to anyway. A lump had formed in her throat, the same that had caused tears to run down her cheeks the evening before. Why did she have to feel so lost? So lonely? It wasn't fair.

It wasn't fair at all.

Maura had already left in the past. It wasn't the first time that she had to go on a business trip for a while. So why? Why did Jane react to it differently this time?

"It's not the same when she's not around."

Her whisper found a delicate strength in her hoarse voice. Her smile never really reached her eyes. She looked up at Liv but found herself unable to understand why she suddenly dared to say all these things to someone.

...

"You know, people often say that the weather in Massachusetts is tough but after a week spent in Oregon... I think my state is sweet; easy to handle."

Breathless, Maura stopped on the beach and took a deep breath. The sea breeze was strong, invigorating at its best. The rain as well. William had convinced her to go for a morning jog as they had come across each other in the kitchen. Going out in the morning brought peace to her tormented mind.

"It's barely raining today though. Do you think we'll see a bit sunshine at some point?"

Maura stretched her arms and pouted. It was still early and the beach was empty. It was a strange scene to witness. After all they were in August, not in December. The place should have been packed with tourists. The waves were too big in Depoe Bay, the cliffs too sharp. The landscape was abrupt, almost unfriendly.

It wasn't the typical seaside resort.

"You haven't called your husband, yesterday. Is everything alright?"

The boldness of her question made her blush. Who was she to make such comment? As much as she appreciated William's presence in her life, she barely knew him. She shouldn't have dared to cross limits imposed by an implicit politeness.

"We don't have to call each other every day. This phase is long gone now. We've been together for way too many years. We're an old couple."

Williams sat down on the wet sand. Obviously they wouldn't go any further today. Their day at the morgue wouldn't start before 11am which left them a lot of free time. Maura sat down next to him and focused on the ocean. Its power was intimidating, almost too violent to be fully appreciated. The Pacific had very little to do with the Atlantic. She was fully realizing it now.

"Depoe Bay is such a curious place. Time seems to have got suspended here. That's what I always tell Jane when she asks me how it is." Maura looked down and grabbed a small shellfish. "Against all expectations, I like it here. I think it came into my life at the right time. I needed a break from many different things."

She hadn't planned on saying any of this to anyone because she was too afraid of the guilt that it would stir up.

She had a nice life in Boston after all – the best one she could have ever hoped for – but something had been missing as of lately; something she didn't dare to chase. Oregon seemed to offer brand new perspectives.

It wasn't even about Jane's kiss. Not only. As a matter of fact, what had happened at Logan International was the logical consequence of something she hadn't wanted to see. Being trapped in Depoe Bay – so far from Jane – had forced her to focus on it; to dare to face whatever it could be. The heart of an issue she had tried to ignore.

"When did you realize that he was the one? When did you realize that your husband was the right one?"

William didn't mock her. He didn't make the slightest allusion. He remained focused on the ocean instead until a flicker lit up his eyes and melted into a delicate smile.

"The day we met for the first time. It was an evidence. Everything suddenly looked brighter. Everything made sense... Within a second."

He didn't need to add anything, even less the rhetorical question that would push Maura to say whether she understood what he meant. Because it was obvious. Because they both knew the truth.

Of course she did.

"I envy you."

The sweetness of her voice got carried away by the wind. It died in the quiet echo of her smile as she turned her head around to look at William and thought about the oddness of life; how surprising it was. Who would have guessed that – one day – she would find herself on a beach opening up about her feelings to someone she had met a week earlier?

"Don't envy me, Maura. Just embrace the whole damn thing and start living. You're ready for it now. You're more than ready."