Maura woke disoriented in the middle of the night, her eyes opening slowly before scanning the dark bedroom. They had made love for several hours, taking their time since they knew this would likely be their last chance to do so for an indeterminate period of time. They had taken small breaks for catnaps and cuddles here and there, but at some point, they had both surrendered to exhaustion, falling asleep in a tangle of limbs and sheets. Maura yawned and stretched tentatively, feeling a little sore as she did, which wasn't surprising given the vigorous activities a few hours prior. It wasn't until she rolled onto her side that she noticed Jane's side of the bed was empty.
"Jane?" Maura called out sleepily, wondering if her wife had simply slipped out of bed to use the bathroom or to get a drink. When she didn't receive a response, she pulled the sheet back and placed her feet on the floor. She didn't bother to turn on the light as she pulled on her robe, tying the sash around her waist as she entered the hallway. She was just about to turn left and head downstairs when she noticed the light was on in the office to her right. Maura headed in that direction and pushed the door open slightly.
As she poked her head in, she didn't immediately see Jane.
"Down here Maura." Maura followed the sound of Jane's voice as she opened the door all the way and found her sitting cross-legged on the floor against the wall, playing with the ear of a stuffed animal they had bought for Leah.
Maura joined her wife on the floor, sitting next to her with their shoulders touching. "What are you doing in here?" She asked quietly, reaching out to stroke her index finger along the fur of the toy dog in Jane's lap. "And why are you on the floor?"
Jane shrugged. "I couldn't sleep. Too much to think about."
Maura scooted closer to Jane, threading her arm between Jane's arm and her body and linking their hands together. With a soft sigh, she tilted her head so it rested on Jane's shoulder, feeling Jane's lips pressing gently against her forehead only seconds later.
Jane scanned the room, taking in the stash of baby things that they had piled in the corner after Leah left. There were a couple stacks of meticulously folded onesies and baby clothes on the corner of the desk. The empty mahogany crib sat forlornly against the far wall, where it had been pushed so it would be out of the way. Jane sat in the matching mahogany rocking chair at first, before Maura had found her, but the memories of rocking baby Leah to sleep had been too much, which is how Jane had ended up on the floor.
"If we had a baby, what would you name it?" Jane's question broke the silence, causing Maura to smile at the thought of naming a baby. Their baby.
Maura fiddled with Jane's wedding band, twisting it around Jane's slim finger as she pondered the question.
"I've always liked traditional names. Nothing too out of the ordinary."
"Huh… I would have pegged you for the woman who names her kid some fancy rich-kid name."
Maura quirked an eyebrow questioningly. "And what, exactly, is that supposed to mean Jane?"
"I dunno…like, Sebastian Frederick Isles-Rizzoli, or…Francesca Arabella Isles-Rizzoli. You know…pretentious." Jane said the last word like it was some type of plague, causing Maura to giggle.
"Those names are horrible Jane."
"I'm glad we're on the same page then." Jane grinned. "So…top three boys names…go!"
Maura thought for a few seconds. She hadn't thought seriously about this for quite some time. "Well…I've always liked the name Benjamin. And Julian." Jane crinkled her nose on the second suggestion and Maura tried to think of a third name she liked. "Maybe Charles too. I like the nickname Charlie."
"Yes to Benjamin and Charles. Charlie is pretty cute nickname, I do have to say. It's a big no from me on Julian though." Jane chuckled. "Personally, I've always liked the name Jack. It's nice and simple."
Maura nodded, a large smile starting to form on her face. "I like Jack too." She squeezed Jane's hand as Jane kissed her temple. "What about girls names?"
"Girls names are harder for me." Jane stated. "Although, I can tell you that under no circumstances will the name Clementine be used."
Maura laughed. "Well then, its only fair that the name Dorothea be vetoed as well."
Jane groaned. "God…could our parents have picked worse middle names for either of us? Those names are straight out of the year 1847 or something."
"I rather like Clementine, Jane. It's…unique." Maura laughed again at the incredulous look on her wife's face.
"Yeah…right. And by unique, you mean heinous, right?" Jane replied sarcastically. "What about Molly?"
Maura tested the name out a few times. "It's cute." She admitted. "I've always liked the name Juliette. Or Quinn. I like Quinn…for a boy or girl, actually."
Surprisingly, Jane didn't turn her nose up at either of Maura's suggestions, instead wrapping her arm around Maura's shoulder and kissing her cheek.
"So when this undercover thing is all over, what do you say you and I have a baby?"
Maura shifted so she could kiss Jane on the lips. She studied Jane's face as she pulled back, intently searching those chocolate brown eyes for any signs that she was joking. Satisfied that Jane was serious, she smiled and kissed Jane again.
"I say yes." Maura stated matter-of-factly. "Let's have a baby."
Jane pulled Maura into a hug, kissing the top of her head. "I guess that's settled then. Although we definitely need to work on names some more…" Jane was grinning as she got to her feet, holding out a hand to help Maura up. "Let's go back to bed Maur." She tossed the stuffed animal dog back into the crib where she had found it and shut off the lights, before leading Maura back to their bed. As they settled back into the comfort of their bed and drifted off to sleep, both women were feeling more optimistic about their immediate future.
Jane yanked open one of her dresser drawers and rifled through her t-shirts, selecting half a dozen and chucking them towards the duffle bag a few feet away. She moved onto the next drawer, this time picking out a few pairs of jeans and a few pairs of athletic shorts before repeating the process with her bras and underwear. Crouching down among the mess of clothing on the floor, she began to hastily scoop the clothing into the duffle bag, not caring that it was wrinkling every single piece of clothing.
"Jane, I could fold those for you, you know." Maura's voice was soft as she entered their room and sat down on the end of their bed.
"It's fine Maura. I will just be unpacking them in an hour anyway." She moved into the bathroom to gather some of her toiletries.
After receiving an official brief from Martinez in the afternoon and finding out that an apartment had been secured for her, Jane had been told that she would have to leave tonight for her assignment. She had been told to pack as soon as she got home and then head to her apartment. Jane had been unusually quiet ever since she came home, which only served to make Maura more on edge as she watched Jane finish packing.
Maura picked up the leather wallet that was sitting on the bed next to her, opening it and glancing at the fake license that verified Jane's new identity. Jane was now going to be known as Julie Ruiz. Maura tucked the fake license back into the proper slot and watched Jane continue to cram items into the duffel bag.
A few minutes later, Jane was finished with her packing and stood before Maura with the duffel over her shoulder, rocking on her heels expectantly.
"I guess I should go." Jane wouldn't meet Maura's gaze.
Maura could already feel her emotions starting to overtake her, but she remained calm as best she could. "Do you have to?" She asked quietly.
The look on Maura's face caused Jane to shut her eyes tightly, fighting against the tears that were so close to coming out. "The longer I stay here with you the harder it gets to say goodbye Maura. This is killing me." Her voice cracked as her eyes opened again.
Maura was off the bed and in Jane's arms in a few steps, both of them clutching each other as tightly as they could. Jane allowed the duffel bag to drop to the floor and pulled Maura even closer.
"Promise me you'll come home Jane Rizzoli. Promise me!" The desperation in Maura's voice caused the tears to burn in Jane's eyes again.
"I promise Maura. I can't imagine being anywhere else but in your arms." Jane replied hoarsely. "I love you." She blinked several times to prevent any tears from falling.
"I love you too Jane."
A fair amount of time passed before Maura and Jane were willing to part. Eventually, Jane pulled away with a deep breath and pulled the duffel bag onto her shoulder once again. "Walk me out?" She held out her hand, which Maura took without hesitation.
They made their way downstairs, pausing to collect Jane's locked gun box from the kitchen counter before heading outside to the nondescript black SUV that was Jane's vehicle for her assignment. Jane opened the back door on the driver's side and tossed her duffel bag and gun safe onto the leather seat. After closing the door she turned back to Maura, grabbing her gently by the shoulders and bending her knees slightly to be able to look her in the eye.
"Will you be okay by yourself? Frankie is going to swing by here a few times each night he is on patrol, but I can have Ma come stay with you."
Maura smiled, grateful that Jane was concerned for her safety when she would be out in one of the most dangerous areas of Boston for the next few weeks.
"I'll be fine Jane. I'll call her if I change my mind. She already made me promise I would."
Jane gave a brief nod and pulled Maura in for another crushing hug, breathing in deeply to commit Maura's scent to memory for the coming days and weeks. "I love you Maura. I'll call you as soon as I can, okay? Martinez says he will keep you updated as much as he can." She released Maura from the embrace only to be pulled back in for a series of kisses, each one longer than the last.
With one last kiss, Maura wrapped her arms around Jane's neck in one last hug. "I love you Jane. Stay safe."
"I will Maur." As Jane opened the door to the SUV to hop in, she remembered one last thing. "Oh. Shit. I almost forgot." She glanced down at her left hand where her wedding ring was. Jane paused for a minute before slipping the band off her finger. "Here." She pressed the band into Maura's hand and watched as Maura curled her fingers around the ring. "You'll need to hold onto this until I get back."
This seemingly innocuous task proved to be the last straw for Maura, who suddenly choked back a sob as she clutched the hand with the ring in it to her chest. Her tears started to flow, but Jane knew she had to make an exit or she never would.
With her last ounce of determination, Jane hopped up into the driver's seat and slammed the door, quickly turning the key in the ignition as the SUV roared to life. Maura backed slowly away from the vehicle as tears streamed down her face. She had told herself that she wouldn't cry, but there was no stopping it at this point. As Jane gave a sad smile and a brief wave, Maura couldn't help but wonder if this would be the last time she saw her wife. She pushed the thought into the back of her mind and tried to think about their future child instead, but tears continued to fall unchecked.
Jane put the car in drive and eased down their driveway and away from the one person that was her entire world. It wasn't until she saw Maura break down completely in the rear-view mirror that she allowed her own tears to fall.