AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it! I've been receiving a couple of Private Messages about this fiction, because of how delayed the previous chapter was. I thought I'd mention here too, for everyone to see, that this fiction will be (hopefully) updated once a week. Last week's chapter was delayed because of studying. Also could someone tell me, does Four have his own bathroom? In the books I was under the impression that he shares with the rest of the faction, as he kept leaving the room to shower. However, in the film his room was massive and must have had it's won bathroom? If anyone could share information on the subject, I'd be forever grateful. Thanks again and I hope you all enjoy.

Chapter Five – Beatrice

Not All Is Permanent

The following week passes by slowly. I go through the repetitive stages of eating and training several times before I reach my limit. I also practice the front flip that Four had kindly advised me with. Within the space of five days I had learned how to successfully land a front flip. Strangely, the only thing that pulls me through the week is the sight and company of Four. This strikes me as beyond foolish. However, it's not just Four that seeks my company but also Alex. I feel as though he has successfully strayed from Chris, but in return has took a bizarre fondness in me.

After releasing the rankings at the end of the week, I find myself in the tattoo parlour with Christina. She has endlessly been jabbering on about a skull tattoo for the past three or four months and is only now getting it etched into her skin. She was adamant on designing it herself, so she took her time to draw up. When I first joined the Dauntless faction I had three small birds tattooed onto my collar bone, one for each family member. Later I got my faction, Dauntless and my inherited faction, Abnegation on my upper arm. Now I feel brave. Brave enough to get another tattoo.

I sit in the reclining chair next to Christina and wait patiently as I get the faction emblems tattooed onto my right shoulder blade. There is a glass wall between us, but I can see her perfectly. Her arm is stretched out, whereas I lie on my front. I am careful about the positioning of my tattoo. I don't want a vest to accidentally reveal it. When I got my Abnegation seal, I felt like it was a stamp of what I had left behind and that it would recompense my betrayal. Now I am getting the Amity and Erudite seals. Before joining Dauntless I would have frowned upon tattoos, but now they seem a part of everyday life. They are art. An art in which I can now appreciate and use to express myself.

Afterwards, Tori gives me a cautious glance and straps a white piece of linen fabric on top. My skin feels raw but strangely comforted by this shady piece of fabric. I know why she looks at me so wearily. I could be questioned or worse renounced factionless. My mind tells me that my new tattoo is a betrayal to my faction, but my heart is comfortable with the decision. I have had the Abnegation seal on my upper arm for two years now and it had gone un-noticed by many. So even though Tori's eyes are pleading, mine remain hard. I rise from my seat and follow Christina out. Her tattoo was complete before mine, but she wanted to look at the other designs. We enter into the canteen and both hand pick a couple of blueberry muffins each and enter into the pit. We pass several noisy crowds and sit on a bench by the wall.

"What did you get?" She asks looking at me curiously. I look at her jadedly, she had watched me select the same thing as her, but then I notice that her eyes are on my back not my muffin. I glance over my shoulder and capture a small glimpse of the white fabric poking out from behind my black vest. I can never lie to Christina. She always knows before I even attempt to. So I choose my next set of words carefully.

"Oh nothing special, just a token…" I reply and she smiles.

"You'll have to show me later… I bet its badass," I laugh at her enthusiasm and she smiles. If I know Christina she will forget by this evening that I had gotten this tattoo. I eat one of my muffins quickly. I am hungry, but also tired. Once I finish the others I know that I will go to bed.

"Tris!" Four beams from ahead of me. He hands a silver flask over to his best friend Zeke and heads straight over. I highly doubt that the object contained water because he is never this happy, at least not sober.

"I'm gonna go find Will, see you later Tris," Christina says nodding politely at Four before leaving. She takes her chocolate chip muffins with her. He disappears out of sight as he sits to my right and leans back so that his backbone touches the seat. I stay leaning forward. I pick a muffin from my lap and hold it out for him. He reaches forward and takes it off me. We peal back the paper at the same time and begin to eat.

"A few of us are getting together tomorrow for a drink, do you want to join?" He asks through a mouthful of food and I think hard about my answer. I have never really liked Four's friends, with the exception of Zeke, and neither do I drink alcohol as frequently as the others. Since joining Dauntless I have only drank alcohol three times and none of these times had I gotten highly intoxicated. I turn in my seat to look at him and he is looking right back at me. His eyes are intense. I try to look at him more indirectly. He finishes off his muffin and I still pick at mine in my hands.

"You mean alcohol?" I ask even though I know the answer. Four nods and I shake my head slowly. "I don't really drink, but I guess I will come by."

"Good, we've only got what… two weeks left together?" He says and I frown. Was he really counting down? Did he really care? I realize that he is right. There is one week for each skill set and the first is over.

In three weeks' time initiate training ends and it is a well-known fact that I will go back to the city's security, whereas Four will return to intelligence. I will miss initiate training. I will miss Four and Christina. I had given up my leader position to Eric and it wasn't just temporary for initiate training. It was for good. A life decision, that I now understand, had been made so carelessly and why? I still do not know. I find my mind wondering back to the flask that had previously been in Four's possession. I wish he would have brought it over with him. Maybe it did contain water because he seems to be incredibly sober and relaxed sitting beside me. His arms are spread out over the back of the bench, his head cocked to the right as he watches me to his left. My face begins to burn as he stares at me with the continuing intense expression. I feel different around Four. I always have. I feel as though I can tell him anything. Things I wouldn't normally talk about and it's frustrating. My palms begin to sweat and I feel edgy in his presence.

"We're just going to be meeting in the pit," he shrugs and I smile. I realize that whilst my mind had wandered, he had been waiting patiently for my response. I am embarrassed, so I tense up.

"Okay, see you tomorrow then I guess," I say my eyes gliding to the open space beside him. Marlene strides past with Uriah close on her tail. He looks frustrated, although she looks content.

"Okay," Four smiles lightly and stands up. He walks back over to his friends, majority of them I don't recognise and picks up conversation again easily.

"All alone?" A familiar voice says from my left. I turn my head to see Alex walking towards me. He takes it upon himself to sit at my side and once again I roll my eyes towards him.

"What do you want now?" I ask coldly and somehow moments later I have a flashback to when I was an initiate. Four had said something similar to me, but more along the lines of what makes you think you can talk to me? I shudder at the thought. I look to the crowd of people Four had re-joined and find his back to me.

"Just thought I'd be friendly," he nods. I glance at Alex and find myself doubling back to look again. I hadn't noticed how close he had sat next to me and neither had I realized until this specific moment how handsome he was. His jaw is the most prominent of his facial features, his eyes are dark and defined by kindness. His hair is mousey brown and reflects blonde highlights in the lighting.

We can't be friends," I say shaking the thought from my mind and getting up. He stands up with me and steps in front of me, blocking my path and causing me to pause in my step.

"Well can't we just talk like civil human beings?" His tone is pleading. I feel guilty for being so cold. I guess he has tired from Chris's morbid demeanour.

"If we must," I shrug and we both chuckle. "So tell me… what hold does Chris have over you?" At my question his face sinks, along with his posture. He had been so cheery and I had remorselessly changed the topic.

"He doesn't have a hold over me… I just want to fit in," he shrugs.

"You don't need a person like Chris to fit in," I smile wryly trying to add an act of kindness to the conversation, but he retorts by looking over my shoulder.

"And what about you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah… you seem to be void?" I thought he was asking rhetorically, but then he hangs onto my every word.

"Void?"

"You linger between friends… who are your friends?"

He's right out of everyone I interact with, only Christina and Will are classified as my friends. Everyone else and every other person I have interacted with is void, because we never clarified a friendship. Four had named me his friend under the pressure of Mack, to what? Save me the embarrassment. He had personally asked me to join him for a drink, yet was so cold after I had told him I didn't drink. Why had he expected me to intoxicate myself? I suddenly feel panicked. My heart rate increases as I realize my thoughts have gone too deep and too far down the path of melodrama. Alex stares at me blankly.

"So you've been analysing me have you?" I ask now stepping around him, but he blocks my path once again. I sigh at his attempts to keep me in one place.

"That I have," the way he says it reminds me of Four, yet again. I blink repeatedly to wash my mind of the thought. I am panicking even more now and it's beginning to show. Why has every thought suddenly revolved around or gone back to Four?

"Why I am explaining myself to you again?" I mock and he smiles wistfully.

"It's because our friendship is forming," he smiles jadedly and I laugh. As annoying as he is, he is also humorous. I step around him for the final time and quickly walk off before he can block me again. I can still see Four within his crowed of friends in front, he's looking at me wearily, maybe I can lose Alex by joining them. "You're telling me that when I join this faction that we wouldn't be friends?" He calls from behind.

"You're not a member yet," I laugh back.

"We would though wouldn't we?" He shouts after me, he sounds only a few paces away. I turn to face him, still walking backwards. I hold my hands out to the side and shrug.

"Maybe…" I smile and he smirks. I turn my back on him for the final time and pass Four. He smiles towards me and I smile back upon passing. I feel warm and his smile comforts me. Always.

I head up to my room and take the bandage from off my tattoo. I take of my vest and try to turn awkwardly in the mirror to get a better look at it. Right on top of my shoulder blades are two small faction emblems, Amity and Erudite. They're dark and surrounded by swollen skin. I don't bother waiting for Christina to return. My eyes feel heavy and my body is sore. I pull my vest back over my head and climb into bed. I pull my blanket over my body, my head nestled in my pillow and attempt to drift off to sleep.

Something keeps me awake. Thoughts echo in the back of my mind. I can't forget where I was two nights ago. I was nestled under blankets that weren't my own. I was in Four's bed. An unknown territory for me, yet so familiar. I enjoyed the scent of him on my skin as I awoke the following morning. I turn onto my back and question every thought that crosses my mind. Afterwards, I question why all these thoughts once again circle back around to Four. I must bore myself because I fall to sleep peacefully. A smile on the small of my lips.

"Stiff," a voice I vaguely remember sounds around the room. I open my eyes and turn towards the door. Peter strides in as bold as anything.

"Hm?" I hum my eyes closing again. They burn immensely. My body wasn't ready to wake up.

"Stiff are you awake?" He asks and I open my eyes again, but squint. "Oi Stiff!"

"What?" I say sitting up so he can lower his tone.

"City's Security… we're down on numbers," he states.

"What do you expect me to do about it?"

"I expect you to get your arse out of bed… like… now Stiff!" He urges and I growl rising from my bed. He sounds a lot like Eric and it makes bile rise in the back of my throat.

"God almighty… can't you see I'm up?"

"God isn't going to help you here," he smiles, "Oh look you're already dressed…" he gesture's at my outfit. I look down and realize I hadn't changed before getting into bed. I look back up at Peter as he picks up my gun from the desk to his left and slaps it hard against my chest. "Right… off we go."

"I'm not working with you am I?" I yawn as I slump down the hallway.

"Of course you are," he says smirking, "Why such distain Stiff-"

"Call me Stiff one more time and I'll shove this gun up-"

"Hey now!" Four's voice sounds from my left. He turns onto the same corridor and walks at my side. Peter laughs and Four smiles at me. I feel his hand brush against the back of mine as he walks closer. I look up at him and he looks back at me knowingly as if to say, what did I teach you? It's then that I notice he also has a gun placed in his hands.

"You to?"

"Looks like it," he nods. "I hear the factionless have took a turn for the worst, so they called in more city security from the outskirts."

"And now they need us to secure their initial jobs… great… where have we been assigned to?" I ask not in the slightest bit impressed.

"Patrolling the faction," Peter butts in. I had almost forgotten he was here.

"What all of us?" I ask as we enter into the grounds. I regret not putting a jacket on. The cold night air hits me like ice. I shudder.

"Looks like it…" Four says glancing around.

"I need to find Uriah, you guys go that way and we'll meet back here in an hour and do the rounds," Peter says coldly. He doesn't wait for our response. Instead he walks away and leaves me and Four standing side by side.

"Come on," he sighs nudging me forwards and I oblige.

I walk by his side as we travel around to the back of the faction building. After a little while I scout in the dark for a place to sit. I refuse to walk around in the dark for an hour waiting for Peter to come back, to then just do more walking when he has found Uriah. However, I find the floor quicker than I had imagined. As we pass over a grass slope I slip and fall. Four reaches out to grab me but misses. I sit solemnly, the wet mud sinking into my trousers. If Four wasn't behind me I would have probably cursed by now, but he is so I hold my tongue.

"Are you getting up?" He asks from behind. His voice is low.

"No." I reply bluntly because I am thoroughly embarrassed.

"Fine," his voice finishes and I hear a loud, but muffled noise. Shortly after, I feel Four situate himself behind me. I am too timid to turn around and look at him.

"Did you just willingly sit down in this mud?" I ask without looking.

"Yeah," he replies and I can feel the hum of his voice.

When I comprehend how close he is sitting behind me, I turn my head over my shoulder to look at him. His right side is level with my back. I spread my legs out in front of me and I understand that we form the shape of a 'T.' He must feel my gaze on him in the dark because he turns to look at me. I can't take my eyes off of him, but then he doesn't take his eyes off of me. My neck begins to cramp because of the extensive strain I put into the twist of my head. I face forward again so that my back is to him. We sit in silence and I wait for the cramp to pass before I decide to look at him again.

"If you could do one thing, what would it be?" His voice sounds in the darkness behind me. I look into his eyes and he's looking back.

"I don't know…" I say and he sighs.

"You could at least make your uncertainty believable…"

"Well… you're going to laugh."

"No I wont," he says, "I promise."

"It's stupid."

"I guarantee you it's not," he says and I don't know why, but I feel consoled.

"To dance…" I say and I expect to hear him laugh, but he doesn't.

"To dance?" He questions aloud. "Couldn't you just do that anyway?"

"Was you expecting something more extreme?" I smile and he chuckles. His laugh is deep. It's distracting. "Dancing is like a foreign language to me, but I've always liked the thought of it."

"Foreign? How?"

"Do you enjoy snooping into my mind?"

"You interest me…" he shrugs and the awkwardness comes back. I turn to face the landscape in front of me before carrying on.

"My parents… they never touched in front of me and Caleb… my brother…" I have to clarify to Four who Caleb is. I pause before going on. I can feel a lump forming in my throat and it's suffocating me. I don't like talking about the past. I cross my legs and place the gun in my lap.

"Abnegation," he says as a matter of fact.

"But when I was a child… maybe five or six… I saw them dancing. They thought we were asleep, but I wasn't. I saw how content they were with each other… how happy they were in their embrace," I turn to look at him again. His facial expression causes me to realize how solemn my tone has become. I clear my throat as if to clear all sadness from my expression. "And since I have seen no act or hint of compassion between them. That is why I want to dance. Regardless of my reputation as a stiff. I want to feel that same happiness… that I believe… can come from such an act." Since I had joined Dauntless I had been called Stiff on a regular basis, but what others failed to realize is that I left that faction for a reason.

We sit in silence for a little while. I fear now that I have said too much. I think about breaking the silence by asking Four what he would do. I guess he was shocked because he had expected me to say something adventurous and what I had said was far from it. I turn my gaze back to my lap and begin fiddling with my fingers.

"So Will told me something the other night…" his voice lingers and I am thankful for the change of subject.

"When have you ever spoken to Will?"

"When I covered your shift?" He says and I hear a hint of sarcasm.

"Oh, right… yeah," I reply feeling stupid, "And what did he tell you?" I ask, but silence falls after. I turn my head to the side, but I don't look directly at him. "I am sure it was a revelation," I jest amused.

"He told me that you had feelings for me," he replies and my heart sinks. I no longer feel grateful for the change in subject. I would rather go back to my distant memories than rip open new one's.

"He said what?" I ask astounded, but Four doesn't answer. I still don't look at him. How can I even face Four now?

"Well he said you either really hate me or really like me?"

"And you assumed the latter?" I ask offended.

"Well I take it you want me to assume the earlier then?" I open my mouth to reply and realize he has made a fair point. I don't hate him. I can't hate him.

When I finally build up the courage to look at him, his head somehow seems closer to me than before. My eyes adjust in the dark and I notice that I am looking at Four's lips. I look up at his eyes and witness him looking into mine. It is as though he is searching into the depth of my soul. Seeking out the truth of the suggestion. Before I know it, we must have slowly leaned in because his face is merely an inch away from mine. I can feel his warm breath mixing with mine through the gap and our lips are moments away from brushing. I close my parted lips and lean back.

"Don't…. please don't," I say and he frowns. I try to hide the shaking in my voice by shuffling in my position. Defeated he leans back and props himself up on his hands.

"I can see that I make you nervous," he smiles. I don't reply. "What is this fear you have?"

"How?" I say ignoring the latter. I can't help but notice that he is right. I had just stated that I wanted to share the same happiness that my parents had and the moment it's within my grasp I had rebuffed it. Do I fear Four or do I fear the notion of him?

"The weeks that followed your initiate training, I was sure we shared a mutual connection, but then you took a position as far away from me as possible. I have spent the past two years in the mind-set that you disliked me. However… Will opened my eyes to a different light and I realized that you didn't run from me because you didn't like me. It was because you feared that you did and now after what you just said, I realize that you fear the possibility. Two years has been a long time… now correct me if I am wrong?" I don't.

Everything he had just said to me was spot on, but that's why he had been outside his room that night. When he had told me he couldn't remember why. It was because he was confirming his theory. If I would have turned up ten seconds later, he would have reverted back to his original theory that I didn't like him. He wouldn't have spoken to me, taught me how to control my anger, offered me to join him tomorrow night and most of all… he wouldn't have given our friendship a chance. Friendship. It echoes over and over in my mind.

"I don't want to ruin what we have before we've even started," I say.

"Started what?"

"Our friendship…"

"Nothing could ruin this," he says and my heart sinks. He is still so close. I watch as his hand begins to edge towards my face and recoil.

"Tris," Uriah's voice calls happily from the darkness surrounding me. After I hear mumblings that I define as Peter's.

"Except that…" Four sighs and I smile. I take his hand that was edging towards me and lock it in both of mine. Considering it is cold outside, it feels incredibly warm. It takes a few seconds for him to smile back at me, but when he does and it reassures me. So with that I let his hand go and stand. I feel light headed. I don't know whether it's the rush from standing too quickly or the event I had just encountered. I slip back up the small slope and find both Uriah and Peter walking away.

"Uriah?" I jog forward somewhat and he comes back into view. I am smiling, but not because of Uriah, but because of the moment I had almost shared with Four. "I learned how to flip," I say proudly.

"Have you truly?" He says unbelieving.

"What? Would you like a demonstration?" I ask pausing in my step. Uriah bows out of sarcasm and gestures at the open path before us. I do as he has insisted. I lift the strap of the gun over my head and let it hang on my back. I roll my shoulders back just as I hear Four and Peter pause behind me. I run forwards a few steps before I decide to flip. I hear Uriah laugh and clap as I land it. I hear footsteps and I turn to see Uriah jogging up to my side.

"Well I'll be damned!" Uriah says happily.

"Four taught me," I look at him and he nods. His expression blank. I forgot how closed off he is around others. I glance at Peter who looks entirely bored, so I clear my throat and carry on walking. Uriah slaps an arm around my neck, his left hand drooping over my left shoulder. He uses his index finger to point ahead.

"How about there?" I squint to see what he is pointing at and I faintly see an outline of several buildings lined up like steps. However, the one in the middle is considerably higher than the others. I debate the situation before replying. I realize that I had left Four with Peter behind us. I glance back, expecting to see them both frustrated, but they look quite content. I want to accept Uriah's challenge and nothing will stop me. Not tonight.

"You're on," I say turning back to scale the building with my eyes. I begin to plan my route.

"What are you doing?" Four asks and Uriah places his gun over his head and lets it hang on his shoulder like mine.

"Just watch," Peter says. I make a point of not looking at Four. I know he won't approve. After all, what we're about to do is completely reckless.

"Sometime tonight…" Uriah says from in front of me.

"There and back?" I ask and he confirms it with a nod. "Right…" I say clicking my neck left and right. It feels stiff. I am stiff.

"3… 2… 1…" before he can say go I am gone.

I am scaling the wall of the closest bungalow and running across the rooftop within seconds. I reach the wall of the building against the bungalow and begin to scale up in. I use the window ledges for my feet and grip my fingertips into the outline of the rough bricks. I remember to keep the movements light and swift. I climb the length of the building attached to it and pause when I reach the top. I see Uriah on the rooftop opposite me, but he doesn't pause. He's laughing childishly as he scales the next building. The final building.

I take a moment to look and the monument in front of me. There is a gap that I can jump, but if I miss I will surely break several bones. Without thinking I leap out and grab onto the drain pipe. I concentrate on shifting my body weight up. I am high, but not high enough. As I continue to scale the main building I can hear Uriah on the other side. He must be almost at the top by now, but on the opposite wall. I wish the building was transparent so I could see. As I reach the top Uriah passes me by.

"Too slow Stiff…" he says as he begins climbing down the side I had just climbed up.

I growl annoyed at his taunt and look around. A head height above me there's a wire. It travels slightly off course, but I know I will hit ground before Uriah does. I go to grab my jacket, but realize I am not wearing one. Instead my hand falls upon my gun strap. Wearily, I shrug the gun off my shoulder and throw it over the wire. I hold the gun in one hand and wrap the last of the strap around my other. I tug hard and it stays in place. My final act is to catch my breath and haul myself off the building. The wind whips my pony tail back in the wind and it only seems like moments later that I touch the ground. I begin to run as fast as my legs will carry me, but they feel lightweight. I bring the gun back over my head and let it repeatedly bang off my back as I head the alley and exit on the other side. I come out behind both Peter and Four. I notice that Peter is watching Uriah and Four is looking at the tall building with his hand clasped over his eyebrows squinting. I pause at Peter's side and Uriah comes up to meet us.

"You cheated!" He yells and Four lowers his hand. He and Peter look at each other confused, wondering who Uriah is talking to. Peter then turns toward me and blinks at me blankly.

"Well shit a brick," he says and Uriah smiles.

"It's not cheating, no rules were stated… you agreed to there and back."

"You sure you're not Erudite with that brain of yours?" Peter asks and I roll my eyes.

"It doesn't take brains to zip line off a building… it takes bravery," I retort.

"Touche," Peter smirks and Uriah's sour face becomes more relaxed.

"This is why you need to come back," he says. "Look at you! You're not even out of breath!"

"It's not going to happen…"

"You do realize Stiff that once the ten weeks are up for initiate training you're out of a job?" Peter says pointing at me with the end of his gun. I imagined that I would be returning back to city's security, but it wouldn't be that simple.

It's then I realize that it is incredibly quiet, I look for Four but he's absent. I scan around at the buildings but he's nowhere to be seen.

"Oh about him… I think you pissed him off," Peter says and my heart sinks. I glance at Uriah and he shrugs.

"Great…" I say… yet again.