Ella and Elsie sat together for the whole afternoon enjoying each other's company and talking about how different their lives were from a year ago. As Ella poured them some more tea, Elsie watched her and felt her pride swell up inside her. Even after all this time, she felt that she still had to convince herself that it was all real and she still couldn't bring herself to believe Ella's revelation.
'You do realise that it will be a very different life for you and you will need to discuss it with your parents; I'm not certain how happy they will be to hear your news.' She said as Ella passed her a fresh cup.
'Of course I realise that my life is to be very different, but that's what I want. Please don't think I am ungrateful for the life that I have had because I'm not. I love Mama and Papa very much and I don't want to hurt them, I don't ever want to hurt anyone, and I do realise that the only reason that I have had the life that I have had is because of your sacrifice. I don't want you to think I am ungrateful either; but do you really see me as Lady of the great house?' Ella asked.
'No, I don't; I don't think I ever did and it's not because you are my daughter either, but it is because I know that it is something that has never come easily to you. You have always rebelled against the system in your own way and you have caused a few raised eyebrows over the years.' Elsie replied with an amused smile.
'I have that; usually Papa's and Granny's and Dad's too for that matter.' Ella said with a giggle. 'I do want my baby to be born here, in the house I mean. See…never mind…' She began to say, but stopped herself from continuing out of fear of hurting her mam.
'Please, go on Ella; what is it that you want to say?'
'Well, it's just that…I do love this house, it's my home and my memories, but ever since I found out the truth, it's sort of been tainted for me, tarnished by what had happened here and I want us to build a new life together that isn't tainted. And I know I've said it before, but I think our lives are very restricted here, where all I can see us ever doing is this, stealing a few moments together here and there to talk and share tea; I'm not complaining about it, I honestly love our time together, but I want more for us. I want more from my child too.' Ella explained calmly, hoping that she was making herself clear, without sounding like she was being ungrateful to the gift that both her families gave her.
'Well if you are certain that it is what you want, then you know that you have my full support. I won't deny that it will be nice to be able to spend time with you without fear of being caught out, but you may find that your parents are less approving.' Elsie replied with a smile.
'True enough, but I do understand why. I do love them dearly, but it is time that I made a life for myself.' Ella said with a furrowed brow. 'I'm sorry Mam, it's rather callous of me to talk about loving my parents in front of you; you must find it hard, to hear things like that.' She added as she cursed herself for her stupidity.
'Perhaps it's rather callous of me to say that it doesn't affect me the way that you might think.' Elsie replied with a small loving smile. 'You don't need to apologise to me for telling me that you love your parents, when it pleases me to hear it. I was so worried, this time last year that our secret might have cost them their relationship with you and I never wanted that. So to hear how much you love them, it is a blessing to hear.'
'And I hope that you know how much I love you too. It's strange to think that you've only been my mam for a year…well, obviously you've been my mam my whole life, but you know what I mean, I hope.' Ella said with a laugh, which was reciprocated by Elsie.
'I do know what you mean and I do hope you know how much I love and adore you Ella, perhaps it's more than you will ever know.' Elsie replied with a watery smile.
'Oh Mam, I know how much you love me; for you to have made the sacrifices that you have done, you must love me immensely. With the prospect of becoming a mother myself now, I realise just how much you must love someone to do what you did.' Ella replied as she also became a little teary.
This was certainly not exactly how Ella had planned their afternoon, but she was glad that they were both able to discuss things and get thoughts that had been lingering in her mind for months off her chest.
'Mam, had it not been for me, had your situation been different, would you have stayed in service?'
'I'm not sure Ella and it's not something that I have often dwelled on if I'm honest.' Elsie replied, but it wasn't said harshly.
'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…'
'Don't be silly; you have as much right to ask anything you like. A year ago we sat here and I told you that you could ask me anything you liked and I meant it. I want you to feel that you can come to me with any question you want. I try not to think about the ifs and buts of life, but I do sometimes wonder what it would have been like if I'd chosen another path, gone a different way and worked in a factory or a shop; but had I done that, I wouldn't have had you and despite what happened, I wouldn't change having you for the world Ella.' Elsie explained proudly.
They sat and talked for a long time until Charlie came into them. He didn't have long but he could spare fifteen minutes to be with his wife and daughter and when Ella shared her news with him, he was both excited and unnerved by the prospect.
'But suppose the village start talking about you moving out! Suppose they see you visiting us or us visiting you!' He said calmly but with his brows creased.
'Suppose a bomb goes off, suppose there's another war, suppose we're hit by a falling star!' Elsie replied which made Ella giggle. 'We'll be far enough out of the way that no one should see us and if they do, I can tell them that I go in to help Lady Aurelia; they don't need to know that I'm going in to see my daughter do they?'
'Perhaps you are right, but I'm still not entirely comfortable with the idea and you have Lord and Lady Grantham to persuade.' He said.
'You let me worry about them. I know they won't be too chuffed with the idea, but I'll bring them round.' Ella said with a lot more conviction and confidence than she felt.