Chapter Eight – Tobias

Heart of Fire

We hardly talk on the journey from the compound to the train. Tris's mind seems occupied, but then so is mine. I can't forget our kiss. I had waited so long for that moment and when it finally came I had desired more than just her lips. I was guilty. I had wanted every part of her, to feel the heat of her skin against mine. She had touched me with fire pulsing through her veins. If she had not sounded Eric's name so abruptly I could have happily enjoyed her presence, but instead she did and the moment fleeted.

"Are you ready?" Her voice echoes through the dark as the train comes down the track.

"Oh… yeah," I say leaping out after her and pulling myself up into the cart.

"You were deep in thought," she says as I slump down the wall. The tracks make the cart shake and I watch as Tris troubles herself with standing.

"Why would you be meeting Eric?"

"I don't know… he just challenged me," she shrugs now kneeling in front of me. I prop my knees up to my chest and let my arms balance limply on my knee caps.

"A little out of character, don't you think?"

"No… no he has challenged me a few times before," she nods. Her eyes are stern.

"What?" It's all that I can manage.

"It's different every time. Uriah joined me a few months ago when he last challenged me. It was a race to the compound and back. Took us hours," she reminisced smiling.

"I'm finding it hard to understand this life you have. I simply go from my job and back. On the occasion I go out with Zeke, but you…" I say and she leans back as if waiting for the offence to hit her. "You lead a completely different… more energetic life. How will I ever keep up with you?"

"You don't have to keep up with me," she smiles crossing her legs in front of her. I can see she wants to say more but she doesn't.

Everything falls silent. I find myself busying my eyes with the floor of the cart whilst I wait for the wall to make its appearance through the darkness. When it does we stand and jump off together. I hit the floor hard, but steady myself. I thought we would have had to go far to meet Eric, but he is standing right on the platform.

"When I said meet me tonight, I didn't mean this late," he scorned.

"Yeah well, beggars can't be choosers," Tris says pausing by his side and I find myself smiling. Eric see's because then he addresses me.

"Why are you here?"

"Is there a problem with that?" I ask smirking and Eric's face hardens.

"No." He says monotonously and I turn my gaze to Tris. "Just a strange choice of companion."

"So come on then, what is it this time?" She asks and Eric pushes a gun into her chest. The force knocks her back slightly and she glares at him. "If you wanted me to shoot you, I would have adamant pleasure in doing so."

"I was actually hoping you'd bring Uriah again. He's a little more sprite." Eric gestures and Tris smiles.

"Yeah, well To- Four will have to do," my eyes race back to Tris. I can tell she's struggling with the new knowledge of my name. This is not the right time to use it.

"Well sorry, but this is a one man game," Eric smirks at me and then places a hand on Tris's back, pushing her forward. Her body falls under the lamp light and she looks down at her gun.

"This is a paint gun?"

"Well done, Stiff," he congratulates sarcastically. I feel my blood boiling, his hand is still pressed to her back. "You see that?"

"What am I supposed to be looking at? I see a whole city…"

"Exactly," he says and I find my heart sinking. "Out there are ten Blue flags."

"You know where they are?" Tris enquires turning to face him and Eric pulls his hand from her back, placing it on his own gun.

"No, I had others put them out."

"And what I'm just supposed to believe that?"

"Yes."

"Well I don't."

"Then more fool you," he scowls. "The first person to get back here with as many flags out of the ten as they can wins."

"Then what are they for?" I find myself butting in pointing to the gun.

"Well if we happen across the same flag, we're going to have to battle it out aren't we," he chuckles maliciously. Tris is strong enough to fend for herself, but I also know how brutal Eric is. I worry. I worry more than I ever have before.

"Fine… lets go," she sighs unimpressed. I watch as she walks off leaving me with nothing to do but sit and wait. I sit idly as I watch them go their separate ways.

"You have three hours," he says and I hear Tris say something back, but I don't quite catch it.

Three hours. Three hours of just sitting here, worrying and hoping for the best. I don't even know what the odds are of Tris winning or whether she's ever won before. I know deep down that Tris doesn't need me to worry for her. She's stronger than I know and if Eric did ever hurt her, I'd happily break a bone or two of his. So, I sit lazily on the platform, close my eyes and wait.

"Four," I feel someone whisper against my lips. It's sweet. I jump and grab the side of their neck with my hand. It's Tris. My grip loosens and she smiles. "You fell asleep."

"Did I?" I squint. My eyes burn and I know she is right. I look at how close she is. Had she kissed me? I honestly don't know. She moves back and I glance around. It's still dark.

"Where is Eric?"

"I have no clue," she says pulling flags from her pocket. I stand and watch as she unravels flag after flag.

"Why do you do challenges with Eric?" I ask.

"I don't know, I do them with Uriah, but there's something different about doing them with people you don't like."

"So you don't like Eric?"

"Do you know anyone that does?" She replies spitefully.

"You seem to have some pent up anger there," I assert and she shrugs.

"Yeah well…" she says and I wait for her to finish but she doesn't. After a few moments I speak again, noticing the bits of blue popping out of her pocket.

"You've finished?"

"I found six flags… either way Eric can't win now so I came back," she laughs and I smile. That brightened her mood up quickly. As her back turns towards me I see sprays of paint all over her back.

"You've been hit!" I say a little louder than expected.

"Oh believe me I know… it hurt like a b- I mean… Eric had it worse," she smiles, "We collided on the third flag, I saw him coming at me so I shot him in the neck. So he just shot blind in my direction and had me three times." She giggled remembering, "So I shot down at him before I got to the top of the hub and hit his hand. He fell. Come to think of it… I didn't see him after?" She says turning back to look at the city. I have a lot to say but right now we share the same thought. Is Eric okay?

"I'll go out and look for him," I say beginning to walk off and Tris pulls me back.

"It hasn't been three hours yet… when the times up, if he's not back… then we can go and look together?"

"Okay… didn't he injure his leg the other day?"

"Yeah that's what Uriah said… you should have seen him hobbling around," she smiled and I couldn't help but smile too. "Sorry… I shouldn't find amusement in that, but he tries so hard to be malicious, but he's just like the rest of us. He's breakable." She says and I slip my hand into hers. I weave my fingers through hers, they're clammy. She looks down at it momentarily before smiling.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" She asks.

"Why wouldn't I want to?" I ask turning her to face me. I use our entwined hands to pull her towards me. I feel her chest press against mine.

"Well we're not boyfriend and-" she says resting her palm against my chest.

"We're not?" I intervene.

"Well we haven't-"

"I said you were mine… doesn't that say enough?" I say lowly whilst leaning my head in towards hers. It must lull her because she responds by coming in closer too. Her nose touches mine.

"No, it says nothing other than I am a material possession," she whispers against my lips and I smile untwining our fingers and reaching for her face with my palm. She's teasing me and I like it.

"If you need a label…"

"No… I never quite liked labels," she says kissing me finally and I am consumed.

I feel her intake of breath on my cheek as I cover her lips with mine and hold her close. Her lips taste bitter and clammy. I can smell the remains of the paint that lies on her back. I never realized how much I did in fact want Tris until every time our lips touched. It makes me realize that now I have her it would be incredibly painful to lose her. I had pined for her a lot, but now it's more than that and I need more than that. I will never give up on this now. I know that.

I feel a soft hum in the back of her throat as she pulls away and hangs the paint gun over her shoulder. She steps away from me smiling and I have the incredible urge to pull her back over to me, but I don't.

"You're done Stiff!" Eric yells from in the darkness.

"Sour puss," she laughs and I hear Eric choke back a cough. As he comes into the light I am surprised to find that he is smiling.

"You're a good shot," he says pausing in front of her gesturing to the dry paint on his face.

"I do try," she smiles handing him the flags. I watch carefully as he takes them. Their hands linger momentarily and I frown.

"Six… Six flags?" He says impressed. "Well I never, you actually won a challenge."

"Well until next time," She waves her hand loosely and begins to approach me.

"So I did hit you," Eric says and Tris turns to face him.

"Three times. I'd say you're a good shot, but you shot blindly." She says coldly. "Did it hurt as much as loosing?" She asks gesturing to the dry yellow paint on his neck and hand. "Before I forget…" she says taking the gun off her shoulder and passing it to him. I can't read his face. He stares at her blankly, but takes the gun nonetheless.

We wait for the train and go back together, leaving Eric on the wall. As we get back into the compound I ask if Tris is going back to her room or if she wants to come back to mine. She says she's going back to hers to clean up, but then recants and says she'd rather come back to mine. She's too worried about what she'll find back in her rooms.

When I awake the following morning it is not pleasantly. I see Tris sleeping in the bed opposite from where I am lying, beginning to be disturbed herself. I focus my senses and realize someone is knocking at the door. I watch as Tris sits up and I remain stunted for a few moments. The other day it had taken hours to wake her up, yet now a knock at the door was waking her. I get up from the couch and gesture at her to stay in bed as I walk towards the door. The knocks get louder and more impatient the closer I get.

"Tris… is Tris in there?" Christina announces in a flurry of panic. I squint and step out of the way as Tris walks towards the door.

"Chris… what happened? Your neck!" She says and I focus properly to see that she is bleeding.

"You have to come quick…" she says and Tris follows her out the door.

"What is it? You're scaring me," she says and I pick up my shirt and follow them out the door. Tris still has dry paint on her back and I find myself hoping that it is not in my bed.

"It's Alex! He… he came to our room last night… he thought I was you… he put a knife to my throat and started whispering these strange words."

"Wait what?" Tris says taken aback, "How do you know he'd gone there for me?"

"He said your name! It was dark and he must have assumed I was you. I fought him off, but now…"

"What? Just spit it out!"

"He's at the chasm…"

"What? No!" She yells running off, leaving me and Christina to follow her.

When we get to the chasm after Tris, we find her trying to approach Alex carefully. She has never looked less dauntless in her life. Not only does she show that she cares, but she is also pleading and her voice is shaking. She's scared. She'd known Alex for all of two weeks and she cared that much? She was looking at Alex hurt as though watching a baby cry whilst their parents argued. That ache to do something but being powerless.

"He said it was either you or me… I chose you… I'm sorry," he says his voice dominant. Considering Tris looks scared he looks extremely calm.

"Who did?" Tris asked flippantly. "Please, just come back."

"I can't."

"Whoever told you this was an act of bravery was wrong. It's cowardice. You fight your problems head on, which I know you can do!" She was right, he was at the top of the score board, why was he acting so weak? But then just because you have the muscle power, it doesn't mean you're not vulnerable on the inside.

"I'm as good as factionless now anyway," he says gesturing to where he was standing.

"No, I will not reprimand you and neither will they," Tris says and I hear Christina mumble something opposite beside me. If the circumstances were different I probably would have smiled. So many threaten to jump and succeed. To see it in person is different. "You have my word as my promise."

"Tris…" I begin, but she stays put.

"No!" She growls at me. I have never seen her so determined and so I keep my peace.

"Tris... he needs to come back on his own. Otherwise there's nothing to stop him from doing this again." Eric sounds from behind me and I feel the annoyance boil up inside me. Why was he here? Then I notice something. All the training initiates are here, as well as some of the faction members who work nights in the compound. Their low mumbles fill the room, excitement bustles in anticipation of him jumping.

"What's going on?" Uriah asks Christina, his tenor low. I don't focus on her reply. Too much drama surrounds me to care.

"I'm sorry," Alex says finally looking at Tris.

"No. Don't say that you're sorry, you think you'll be missed if you jump?" Eric laughs and Christina pipes up over explaining to Uriah.

"Shut up, Eric!" She growls and I hear the distinct sound of Peter laughing. I'm surrounded by idiots.

"No… he's right," Tris added.

"Not your best choice of words Tris,"Christina replies after comprehending what Tris had responded with. I find myself shocked at it too.

"Come back… build a reputation and make yourself be missed," Tris says holding out her hand. Its inches away from him and I find myself hoping that he takes it. I also find that something else crosses my mind. This faction doesn't need people like him, no matter the circumstance why would you jump? "Come on…" but he doesn't move, instead he looks down into the chasm. "Who threatened you?"

"Chris," he says flatly and we all turn to face him. His eyes flicker between us all like a light that's on its way out, but Eric gets there first. He lands a punch right to the nose, knocking him out.

It was him all along. He had poisoned Alex's mind. He had twisted and warped him into an attempt of Tris's life. An attempt that had very much failed and for that I am thankful. Instead he had got Christina, but she had easily fended him off. I clench my fists into tight balls. I am suddenly glad of Eric's presence because if he hadn't have punched him, I definitely would have.

When I turn to look at Tris again she has safely got Alex away from the edge. It's weird. He doesn't look at all stressed, he hadn't even been crying. All his words had been strong and not at all emotional. He had truly believed that jumping was a brave thing to do and not an act of weakness.

Eric's motto sounded through my mind, 'If you are really one of us, it won't matter to you that
you might fail. And if it does, you are a coward' and I wonder what Alex has failed at.

"I'll eliminate him as factionless," Eric says dragging Chris along.

"That's not your call to make," Tris waded in. "Not anymore."

"Then whose is it? Yours? Now that your leader?" Eric sprang back almost mockingly.

"Yes, but it has to go to Max first, take him there and let him deliver the sentence."

"More fool you," Eric says.

"If I wanted your opinion, I'd have asked for it. He is to be taken to Max and he is to be given the necessary information," Tris scorned. Their eyes had not left each other and we were all trapped within their power struggle.

"Fine," Eric replied. "Don't thank me or anything." I watch as Tris leaves Alex by Christina's side and strides over to Eric.

"What would I thank you for exactly? I swapped my position here at your request! Once initiate training is over I have nothing!" I watch as Christina's eyes widen in shock and I realize the extent of the situation. We had all seen Tris cracking at the edges, but now she was broken. "If it weren't for you I would have been in my room. I could have saved Christina the trouble she went through. You've knocked him out and now it's going to be a ball ache trying to interrogate him." I suddenly feel relieved that I weren't the one who punched him. Christina rests a hand on her shoulder to pull her back but she shrugs her off. "So forgive me if I don't thank you enough… Everyone back to your room now!"

The initiates obeyed her command and dispersed in a hurry back down the hallway. She eyeballed Eric one last time and slipped past him, leaving Alex behind. I look between the faction members that are left and all their faces are readable because they saw it too. Tris had buckled. I look at Alex and Christina and they're both looking at me.

"I'll take him to the infirmary," Christina said, "I have to go anyway." She says holding her neck and shooting Alex a look of annoyance. I nod letting her slip by and I am left with Eric.

"What?" He asks as I glance at him.

"Nothing," I shrug.

"You need to keep her under control. She'll soon find my bark is not worse than my bite," he scowles. I smile as pass by him slowly.

"I'm not the right person to be sounding your threats to," I whisper.

I go back to my rooms and sleep for another hour before getting up and getting ready. I change my clothes over and leave the dirty one's in the bathroom. I feel completely refreshed, but something still taunts my mind. Tris. I head down to breakfast with Zeke and he interrogates me about what my connection to Tris is. I notice that she and her friends are absent, so on the way back to my rooms I stop off at Tris's, knocking on the door with urgency.

"Come in," Will's voice sounds from inside and I am weary after what Tris told me last night. I slowly open the door but that's all I find, Will.

"Is Tris here?" I ask and Christina comes around the corner.

"She's in the bathroom," she says, "don't stand in the doorway, come in."

"No it's okay, I just came to check up on you guys," I nod towards the bandage on her neck.

"You're not going to tell him?" Will asked.

"Shut up, Will."

"Tell me what?" I ask, my eyebrows furrowing.

"She's been locked in there for two hours."

"Will, shut up. I said I'm dealing with it," Christina spits annoyed.

"You mean she's been in there since this morning?" I ask and Will shrugs getting up off the end of her bed.

"We know she's okay, we can hear her pottering around from time to time, so she's alive." Christina says.

"That's not funny," Will says and I feel as though I'm standing in the midst of a family feud.

"Can I try?" I ask and Christina nods.

"Go for it. You're the only one she seems to listen to anyway," she scorns but I take it as a compliment. "We're going down to breakfast."

I watch them leave together and then walk towards the bathroom door. I knock but no noise follows.

"Are you alright Tris?"

"What do you want?" She asks.

"Can you come out?" I insist and I hear a click. I wait but nothing else happens. I open the door but it barely budges. I shift around it and find Tris sitting on the floor just behind the door.

"Christina's worried," I say and she shrugs. "You did right you know? This morning."

"I know," she says flatly.

I push my weight through the gap that she has allowed me to poke my head around. I lean my hand on the door and it closes behind me. She is sitting with her knees brought up to her chest. The sight of her scares me. She looks emotionless as I kneel by her side.

"Then what's concerning you?" I ask and she sighs.

"I'm just thinking… I don't get how someone would want to end it that easily," she says now looking at me.

"Some of us are messed up," I say.

"But that's not Alex. How can someone climb that high on the scoreboard yet crumble so easily?"

"Not all of us are strong on the inside like on the out."

"Don't even get me started on Eric," she growls.

"You sure bust a cap in his ass," I chuckle and she smiles. I want to know what is truly occupying her mind.

"He's frustrating. He just has one of those faces, you know?"

"That you just want to punch?"

"Yeah," she replies and we laugh together. "I just needed time," she clarifies gesturing to her laziness.

"I know," I say. "Did it remind you of-"

"Don't," she snaps. "Please don't."

"Okay," I say not wanting to press her. She was obviously tormented by the notion of even thinking about it. The fact she doesn't want to talk about it only confirms my suspicions. Watching Alex willing to end his life like that had reminded her of the moment she found Al's body. "You still have paint on you." I say and she looks over her shoulder.

"I did come in here to shower, but I ended up just sitting here instead."

"Well you need to shower," I say getting up on my feet.

"Tobias?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you," she says looking up at me and I smile.

"What for?"

"For not being as whiney as Christina," she smiles and I chuckle exiting the room.