Kachinonaigami~Worthless God
Sometimes, Yato felt like the entire world-no-universe was pitted against him. He'd tried so hard to reform, leave the past behind and become some semblance of a respectable god, but here he was… again. It seemed like he just wasn't supposed to get a happy ending. It made him so frustrated he just wanted to smash his head against a wall.
Fate was cruel.
The past couple days, with Hiyori still there and Yukine having repented, he'd just been so happy. How could he not be, when it had seemed that everything was better- finally, the great god Yato had done something right. He should have known it wouldn't last. Of course. He had worse luck than the god of misfortune, so why should anything ever go his way? No matter what title he went by, all he ever seemed to bring was misery and death.
Maybe he really should just fade away and die.
But what about Yukine? A voice in his head asked. Yato sobered at the thought. He couldn't abandon Yukine. His shinki was his number one priority. The kid had just been healed too…
What was he going to do? Just that morning he'd been told that the only way to fulfill Hiyori's wish was to cut ties with her. A feeling of cold dread had settled uncomfortably in his gut. He'd wanted to forget what he'd heard, run away and pretend that he'd never found out- but he couldn't avoid the truth. In a way, he despised himself more than ever. Coward.
He had been born to cut ties and kill without batting an eye. It was the only thing he knew how to do right. So why did he now hate himself for it?
He was once again left with an impossible choice; Let Hiyori slowly die from separating from her body too much, or make her forget months' worth of memories and doom himself and Yukine? Maybe he was fooling himself about his price. He'd survived well enough this long without her, right? Well enough. As if. It all felt like some sort of sick joke.
It was Hiyori who had become his first follower; someone consistent who brought him hope. It was Hiyori who had brought Yukine and carried himself, dying of blight, to Kofuku for help. It was Hiyori who had brought Kazuma to them and helped Yukine repent. Without her, they would both be dead. She was quite literally their lifeline.
Cutting her ties, how could he do that to her? Or to myself. He already knew the answer, as much as he didn't want to admit it. The knowledge burned sharply inside of his chest. He couldn't do it. He was too selfish, too cruel; he couldn't even face her and tell her the truth.
Yato closed his eyes, clenching his fist around the five yen piece in his hand. In a sudden fit of anger, he hurled the coin as far as he could, yelling in frustration. It landed with a soft splash into the lake. Yato collapsed on his knees, hands clenched and resting on his thighs, staring at the drops of water splashing onto his pants through clouded eyes. How could he call himself a god when he couldn't even help the one human he cared about most? He couldn't even look her in the eyes and tell her why.
I'm sorry Hiyori, but you've given me the one wish I just cannot fulfill. I really am a worthless god, aren't I?