Chapter 1: Christmas Past
"Hello, Charlie," a voice said softly. It was a familiar voice, but one he hadn't heard for a very long time.
Charlie pried his eyes open, he wasn't sure at what point he had passed out, but evidently, he had. And had spilt most of his remaining JD on his trousers.
After a couple of blinks to clear the sleep from his eyes, he was able to focus on the space in front of him. Annie James sat opposite him. She was perched on his coffee table, in her cheerleading uniform, not looking a day over eighteen.
She was wearing the clothes she died in.
"I've never hallucinated before," he mumbled, eying the JD bottle with concern.
"And you're not now," Annie replied firmly, in her standard no-nonsense tone. "I'm just here to give you a heads up. You're an ass, Charles Joseph Conway. A complete ass."
"An insulting hallucination," he commented. "Novel."
She reached over and smacked him firmly around the head. "Was that a hallucination?"
"I'm quite the mastermind, I'm not only arguing with my hallucination, but it beats me up too."
Annie sighed deeply. "You know what? I wanted to look in on Luis. I really did. I'm only allowed out at Christmas and now I have to wait another three hundred and sixty-five days before I can see him again. I've been looking forward to today all year, but no. I'm here, talking to an asshole who doesn't care."
"What?"
"You're an asshole, got that? And you're about to get a big kick up the rear. I hope you're bruised for weeks after."
"Um, thank you?" Charlie replied, eying her hand, ready to dodge, should she swipe at him again.
"You're welcome. The first kick up the rear will happen at one. Ok? Now I'm off to see Luis, I might still have time." She stood up and straightened her skirt.
"Are you going to hit Luis too?" Charlie asked. "Does he put up with your insults?"
She gave him a sad smile. "Luis neither sees nor hears me. He doesn't need to." She paused, her smile a little wider. "He's not an ass like you."
With that she vanished, leaving Charlie slightly alarmed and dying for a drink.
"Is gra liom thu."
"I love you too." Charlie mumbled sleepily, automatically reaching out for a small warm body, waking slightly when he found nothing but a cold and empty bed. His brain registered the emptiness, and reminded him that there was nothing he could do about it, so he pulled the covers tighter around himself, and tried to get back to sleep.
"Ok, that does it. Get out of bed, you lazy gurrier."
Charlie jumped at the sound of the voice, but refused to open his eyes. If he opened them, Terri's voice would stop, the apartment would be empty, and since he'd spilt his drink there wasn't even booze to take the edge off.
"Hey, lazybones. I'm on a time scale here. Get up!" There was definite impatience in Terri's voice this time. It wasn't the soft declaration of love that first began to pull him towards wakefulness.
"I mean it, don't make me go get the ice."
Charlie cautiously cracked an eye open. Despite his blurry vision, a vibrant shade of purple was visible.
"God, Annie warned me you were an ass, but honestly." There was a deep sigh. "I'm getting the ice."
Charlie opened both eyes and rubbed them aggressively. Yes. Right in front of him stood Theresa Jane McDowell. As with Annie, she looked exactly as she had the day she died, down to Charlie's old Ducks jersey and his jeans – of course she would, Terri and Annie both died in the same car crash. His eyes lit up, a genuine smile crossed his face, muscles and tendons straining to perform an act that had been long abandoned. "Terri," he breathed reaching out for her.
Reaching right through her.
"Sorry, Scrat. I'm incorporeal unless I need to be. Your needs don't make a difference," she said, her tone light, but her eyes sad.
"Gremlin, what are you doing here?" he asked, rubbing his eyes again, trying to see her even more clearly.
"In the words of the illustrious Annie James, I'm here to give you a kick up the rear." She smiled. "Now get out of bed and let's get going."
"Where are we going?" he asked, obeying instantly. He didn't care if this was a hallucination or a dream. Terri was here, and whatever she said was worth doing.
"You smell bad," she commented. "I know that you're alive and I'm not, so you're winning on that count but…" She paused and eyed him up and down. "You're barely living. And do you know how disgusting it is to sleep in your clothes? Big turn off to girls."
"That's ok." Charlie hastily straightened his clothes as best he could. "You're here, and you always loved me messy."
"Scrat," she said softly. "I'm not here. Not always, just now. And I'm not very keen on the alcoholic version of Charles Conway."
"Don't call me Charles!" he replied instantly.
"Don't give me reason to." She grinned back.
"I miss you," he told her.
"Missing is one thing. You've been the living dead since I left." She offered her hand. "I need to be corporeal now, you can touch me."
He reached out and took her small pale hand in his. Instantly a dizzying sensation swamped him, he felt as if he was free-falling from an aeroplane with no parachute, a wash of colours and light flooded his vision until he could not even make out his own hand in the kaleidoscope of confusion, let alone Terri. He closed his eyes and whimpered in fear.
As instantly as it started, it stopped again.
"You can look now. They warned me that would be a little funky," Terri told him. She was once more incorporeal, and his hand was now residing inside hers. It felt like he had plunged it into icy water. Alarmed by the sensation and sight, he removed his hand quickly, and looked elsewhere.
He recognised the building they were in instantly. It was the locker room of the arena they had played in as District 5, and then later as the Ducks. He saw himself and the rest of the team, minus Adam and Bombay. Karp was trying to cram Peter into a locker. It was a scene that brought back a strange feeling of nostalgia. He missed being so happy and carefree.
"Charles, hate to say it, but you look like a girl at that age," Terri commented.
"They can't see us, can they?" he guessed. When the scene had first played out in his life, a twenty-seven year old man and an eighteen year old girl with purple hair had never materialised in the middle of the locker room.
"Nope, these are just memories brought to life. Kinda like falling into a Pensieve."
Charlie frowned, not quite understanding.
"Harry Potter," she expanded. "Jeez, you're alive, you could have read all of the books by now – and by God, you're going to, because it's just killing me that all the people who are alive down here have access to all seven books and I died a six months before the fifth one came out."
"Ok, I'll buy them tomorrow."
"Tomorrow's Christmas," she reminded him.
He was about to reply with his usual disagreeable response to that, but Terri shushed him. "Watch!"
Adam Banks walked into the locker room, an apprehensive look on his face. Seconds later Bombay appeared behind him. Charlie watched as his younger self got to his feet to greet Adam, and from this vantage point he noticed something he hadn't first time around, Adam's hands were shaking. Not much, but enough, and they stopped when Charlie stood up to talk. Admittedly the second Jesse put his two cents in they started again, but he was slightly touched that his words had momentarily soothed Adam's fear.
"That was a really nice thing to do," Terri told him. "It didn't work, but not because of you. I bet Adam appreciated it."
Charlie made no response.
"Come on, more to see." She reached out and touched his arm again, and once more he was overwhelmed by the dizzying rainbow of colours and light.
They arrived in another locker room, this time it was the one from their final game against Iceland. Adam came barrelling into the locker room. "Coach!" He picked up a hockey stick. "I woke up, and the pain was gone." He rotated the stick, without even a twinge of the soreness that had been bothering him.
Charlie watched as his younger self gave up his spot for Adam, without even a second's hesitation. He remembered how he had felt that day. He had wanted the team to win, whether he was a part of it or not. And more than anything, he had wanted his best friend to play, even if he didn't get to himself.
"You two were close, weren't you? Best friends?" Terri asked. "I always think that friend is a nice word, but best friend, that's special. Some people don't have best friends, you know. They have a collection of close friends, but…" She paused, and glanced over to where Charlie and Adam were tentatively hugging. "Nothing like that."
Charlie didn't reply. His throat seemed to be blocked, he felt tears pricking the backs of his eyes. When was the last time he had done something so selfless for Adam? When was the last time he had even acknowledged Adam without sneering?
"Still more to see, lots," Terri told him. "Seriously, so many memories. I've picked the best ones, but for awhile there, you had a lot of best times. I figure the next lot won't have quite the same trouble as me." She gave him an odd smirk he had never before seen on her face, which baffled him more than her words.
He didn't have much time to process what she said though, because she reached out and touched his shoulder, taking him to Eden Hall, he recognised the scene instantly. It was Freshman year, he had broken up with Linda several months previously, and it was about three months before he met Terri. He knew this, because he could see himself sitting on a bench outside, and Lisa was approaching him.
"Should I be jealous?" Terri asked, with a smile as they moved a little closer.
Charlie smiled back. If Terri knew how he was feeling on that day, maybe she would have been. He had adored Lisa. He and Adam had met her at one of their games, and she had gotten along with them both quite well. She was pretty, funny and smart, everything the average fourteen year old would want in a girl.
Adam had always acted a little aloof with her for some reason. Charlie had asked him about it one day, asking if Adam felt that their friendship was being threatened by this girl who seemed to appear wherever they went, and if so, did he want to maybe set a day aside just for he and Charlie to hang out together.
Adam had given a nervous snort of laughter, and turned bright red. After a few minutes of gentle reassurance from Charlie that he wouldn't laugh, Adam confided that he had a serious crush on Lisa and wasn't sure how to behave. From what was said, Adam didn't realise that Charlie was also crushing on the girl. He asked Charlie for advice on how to talk to her and ask her out.
Charlie had bitten back the desire to tell Adam that he wanted Lisa too, and that she should chose between them. Adam's crushes were so rare, so delicate, that Charlie couldn't do that to him. Adam's overpowering shyness often stopped him from getting dates, and now that he had found a girl that he could hang out with, with only a modicum of discomfort, Charlie couldn't take that away.
So instead he gave him the advice that he should maybe stop thinking so hard on how to be cool around her, and just relax a little, as if he was hanging out with just Charlie. They rehashed previous conversations they had had with Lisa, in an attempt to remember what she liked, and ways to interest her. They worked out which classes she had and where it would be 'natural' for Adam to bump into her throughout the day.
By the end of the conversation, Adam was feeling hopeful and, more than anything, reassured that Charlie really was the best friend in the world.
Charlie had felt pleased to see Adam so happy, but a little hollow inside because of it. So he had gone outside just to clear his head a little before he exploded with confusion.
And it was at this point that Lisa had come over. This point where Terri had brought him.
"Hey, Space Cadet!" Lisa said, coming up behind Charlie and putting her hands over his eyes. "Guess who?"
"That really hot babe from Baywatch?" Charlie said hopefully.
"You pig." Lisa removed her hands from his eyes and playfully swatted him, then took a seat beside him. A lot closer than she usually sat when Adam was around.
"Oink, oink."
Lisa took a deep breath, as if working out whether she should say something or not. Eventually she came to a conclusion. "So, Conway," she said. "I was thinking we should hang out, you know?"
"We're not hanging out now?" Charlie asked distractedly, his mind still on his swirling feelings of loyalty towards Adam and attraction to Lisa.
She dug him in the ribs. "You know what I mean. Maybe a movie or something?"
"Yeah, I think Adam mentioned that he wanted to see that new Arnie movie at some point," Charlie replied.
Lisa coughed delicately. "Um, I just meant you and me… you know?" She said in a soft voice.
"Oh!" Charlie was visibly startled by her forwardness. "Oh, a date?"
"Um, yeah, if you want to," she said.
Charlie paused to think, half of him desperately wanted to say yes, and was encouraging him to tell her so, and also sneakily pointing out that what Adam didn't know wouldn't hurt him. He and Lisa could be careful. The other half of him was replying with a flat-out no. Adam liked Lisa, he couldn't do that to him.
"I'm sorry, Lisa. It's not that I don't like you," he replied thoughtfully. "I do, but not like that. I kinda see you as a sister, you know? I'm really sorry."
Lisa gulped a couple of times, then quietly got up and left.
"Wow," Terri said. "You didn't even say 'I'd love to but my friend likes you, so no'. You told her you didn't like her."
Charlie, his eyes still on his younger self, shrugged. "I thought if she knew I liked her she might ask me out again, and I wasn't sure I'd be able to say no."
"That's what I always loved best about you, Charlie," Terri said. "The way you always did the right thing, no matter how much it hurt you. You always had the biggest heart of anyone I knew… Of course, I've heard rumours to the contrary recently." She stared at him levelly. "Would you do that for Adam now?"
Charlie shook his head mutely, not wanting images of recent months to come to mind.
"Let's go." She touched him again, and when the colour faded, he recognised the scene.
"Nooo." He moaned softly. "Don't show me this, Terri." He begged. "Don't. It was hard enough the first time." He began to shake as the scene unfolded.
They were standing by the side of a road in the dark, it was close to midnight, he knew, he had relived this moment often enough. The road was narrow and twisting, and any minute now…
A car came into view, sometimes disappearing out of view behind hedges then reappearing seconds later. It was a silver BMW, brand new, an early Christmas gift from Phillip Banks to Adam. Adam wasn't in the car, he had managed to catch a lift with Guy from one Christmas party to the next, and said that Charlie was the only person that he trusted to drive his new toy. The car came slowly, cautious of other drivers and the winding road, not to mention the fear of denting his best friend's brand new car.
He knew who was inside the car. It was himself, Terri and Annie, Terri beside him in the passenger seat, Annie behind her. Both dressed up in costumes for the party, Annie as a cheerleader, Terri had gone as Charlie, wearing his green Ducks jersey and a pair of his jeans. Both girls had been chattering excitedly as the festive spirit crept over them. Charlie had not been completely uninvolved in their conversation, but kept at least ninety percent of his senses on the task at hand, night driving down a dangerous road.
"No, Terri, this is enough. You can stop now," he said, his voice trembling.
"Sorry, Scrat, but the powers that be don't agree," she said, but she did look genuinely regretful.
He heard the other car before he saw it, just like before – bright red, blasting out Guns n' Roses' Don't Cry at top volume, weaving back and forth across the road. Charlie watched in horror has the silver car containing himself, his love and her best friend, began to slow trying to avoid the red car, but to no avail. Younger Charlie swerved, trying to avoid the collision, and almost succeeded, but the red car caught the tail end of Adam's BMW and the car spun once before wrapping itself around a tree. The red car landed in a ditch, not far from Adam's.
There was a moment's silence before anyone moved. Charlie and Terri moved closer to the wreckage, though there was nothing they could do. This was past, this was memories.
Adam's brand new silver car was a write-off. The passenger side was wrapped firmly around a tree – there was no way that anyone on that side of the car could have survived.
Charlie watched as his younger self came to, and freed himself from the seat belt, an agonising howl of torment ripped through the night, and Charlie knew exactly what his younger self was seeing. Terri, seemingly blemish free from the crash, except for a small graze on her forehead, her blue eyes staring sightlessly straight through him.
She hadn't been blemish free, of course, a branch of the tree had gone straight through the car door and punctured her lung. Annie's cuts and bruises were far more obvious, her mortality just the same.
Charlie felt tears of rage and pain in his eyes. "God damnit!" he yelled furiously. "I see this every damned night where I don't drink myself to sleep, ok Terri? You're pissed at me, I get that! Ok! I'm sorry, I killed you. I really am! I damn well loved you. I loved you more than anything!" The sobs overcame his rage and he sank to the ground, gasping for air.
Terri also lowered herself, resting on her haunches. "Scrat," she said softly, reaching out to touch him, her hand stopping a few millimetres from actual contact. "Baby, I didn't show it to hurt you. I didn't show you because I blame you. You had to see what was stopping you from moving on in your life."
"Murdering my girlfriend! Most people would agree that when a guy does that, he doesn't deserve to move on!" he spat out.
"You didn't kill me. You want to blame someone? Blame him. Or blame alcohol." She gestured over to the owner of the other car, who was pulling himself from the wreckage. On seeing the mass of crumpled silver metal that had been a car with three healthy passengers only moments ago, he collapsed to the ground and vomited.
"If it makes you feel any better," she added softly. "He killed himself not long after he was sentenced. Then again, so did you. Around the same time you picked up your first bottle, right Charlie?" Her tone wasn't accusatory, it was sympathetic, but still a little disapproving. "Pretty ironic, really. A drink driver ruined your life, so you decided to ruin it a little more with the same thing."
"I never drive," he choked out.
"I know you don't," she agreed. "But it's time to go. We have one more thing to see."
"I don't want to see any more," Charlie said, wiping his eyes.
"Sorry, Scrat. It's not my call." She reached out once more and touched him, and down they fell to the final scene.
"This one is in three parts. A play of three acts, if you like." Terri informed him. "Maybe you should pay attention, since you were a little blurry first time around."
Charlie looked around and saw that he was at home, in the apartment that he shared with Adam. The lack of Christmas decorations confirmed that he wasn't actually home yet, but in another memory.
Walking into the living room, Charlie realised exactly when this was. And was awash with shame that Terri would see the scene unfold. "I get it," he said. "I'm a bad, bad person. You don't have to show me this to prove it."
"Apparently I do. Shush. Watch."
So Charlie shushed and watched. He saw himself – exceptionally drunk – and Adam's ex-girlfriend, Emma, on the sofa, he couldn't remember why Adam had been held up, but he knew that Adam wasn't due back for about an hour. For the first time, Charlie noticed how very unattractive he was when drunk. He had never been under the impression that he was the life and soul of the party when he'd had a few, but he had thought that he was at least the quiet type who faded into the background unnoticeably.
It was a shock to find out that he talked loudly and slurred a lot. His clothes looked unappealingly rumpled and used, and his mannerisms – they were all over the place. He looked like an ape, he was sprawling around and losing balance constantly. Poor Emma was being polite, and kept surreptitiously moving away from him on the sofa, only to find that Charlie would move closer to her again.
Then, in a mass of inelegant arms and slurred words, he lunged on her, desperately trying to kiss her, babbling about how "Banksie wasn't a real man" and other barely coherent insults.
Emma squealed and shoved him away, getting to her feet and yelling at him, berating him for his lack of loyalty towards someone he had known almost his whole life. Charlie moved closer to her again, still mumbling unintelligibly, and tried to kiss her again.
She slapped him hard across the face, the sharp smacking sound bouncing off the wooden floors and bare walls, then she turned and let herself out of the apartment, her eyes filled with shocked tears. Charlie, still mumbling to himself, picked up his bottle and returned to the sofa.
Charlie could barely bring himself to look at Terri, not wanting to see the disgust in her eyes. She didn't look disgusted, her expression was unreadable. "I really don't think alcohol is your thing, Charles," she said. "Here comes part two."
The scene washed in and out of colour a couple of times, before settling again. If his other self hadn't been wearing a different shirt, Charlie would have been hard-pushed to tell the difference in the scene. Yet again, he was on the sofa, clutching a bottle of JD, staring blankly at the TV. It was disquieting to realise just how much time he wasted doing just that. If something didn't happen soon, Charlie wouldn't have a clue what particular day he was watching.
At that point, Adam walked into the room, shuffling nervously. "Charlie," he said softly.
"Hey, Ads," Charlie replied blurrily.
"Can we talk?"
"Sure." Charlie's eyes never left the TV.
Adam walked over and took a seat on the coffee table opposite Charlie, pausing to turn off the TV. "I just need to ask you one thing," Adam said, his voice shaky.
"What's that?"
"Emma… she says…" He gulped. "She says you hit on her. I didn't think that you would, but she – I just have to ask, ok? You're my friend, I know you wouldn't but…"
"That bitch!" Charlie spat out angrily. "This was the other day, wasn't it? Yeah, I know what she's talking about! She came over, supposedly waiting for you and she was all over me. Wearing a low cut dress, pressing herself into me! That slut! I told her I'd never touch her, you're my best friend!" Charlie's rant became a little more slurred and incoherent, as he paused to take a couple of sips from his bottle.
As his drunken self continued to rant, his present self noticed something he hadn't seen that day. Adam's face visibly crumpled, his eyes filled, and eventually he had to excuse himself, pausing only to pat Charlie on the arm and mutter, "I knew you'd never do that to me."
"Charles, c'mon." Terri nodded towards Adam. "You need to see this part too."
Silently, Charlie followed Terri into Adam's room, where Adam shut the door firmly behind himself, then went to his dresser where he took something out of the top drawer.
"Have a look," Terri urged.
Charlie moved around the room so he was in front of Adam and could see the item clearly. It was an engagement ring. Adam was staring at it sightlessly, his eyes filled with tears. For the longest time he was still, then suddenly with a sob he threw it viciously across the room. "You bitch!" he half-sobbed, half-yelled. "I loved you so much! How could you do that to me?"
Charlie watched in horror as Adam wrecked everything of Emma's he came into contact with, pictures, clothes, ornaments she had bought, jewellery she had left from the various nights she had stayed. The crashes and smashes were earth-shatteringly loud, but still the drunken Charlie in the other room didn't come in.
"I never knew about this…" Charlie said softly. "I–" he laughed, but there was no humour in it, only disgust. "I never even heard him."
"A far cry from the boy who told a girl he didn't like her, just so his best friend could have an honest shot with her, no?" Terri replied.
"How could I not see…?" Charlie gestured to the sobbing form of Adam, surrounded by wrecked possessions but no friend to comfort him.
"We have now reached the final act. Let's go," Terri said, touching him again.
As the scene came into focus, Charlie looked around in confusion. He was in the locker room, but there was no sight of another version of himself, only Adam, sitting on a bench, staring blankly at a wall. It was post-game, he could tell because Adam was in his street clothes, and his hair was wet from the shower. He could hear the shower still going in the attached room.
"You're here," Terri said, as if reading his mind. "But you really needed to see it from Adam's point of view. The whole conversation, not just one sentence that drove you into a completely irrational rage."
Just then, Robson, their goalie came out of the shower room, straightening his shirt. "Hey man," he said, noticing Adam. "Are you ok?"
"Yeah," Adam replied flatly.
"Don't worry about the game, bro. Everyone has an off day."
"Yeah," Adam said again in the same dull tone.
"You still hung up on Emma?" Robson asked, his tone contained a very well-rehearsed lightness.
It occurred to Charlie that Robson and Emma went back a long time. Charlie dimly remembered that he had been the one to introduce him to Emma, that they had been old school friends.
"It gets me now and then," Adam replied, his tone also a forced casual.
"Well, she's still heartbroken."
"How can she be?" Adam snapped. "She's the one who strayed, not me!"
Robson sighed. "Look man, I know Emma. She would never lie. She's not the type to even flirt with someone else."
"Except Charlie," Adam said acidly.
Robson took a seat beside Adam and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm going to tell you something for your own good, ok? And you might resent it, but hear me out. Emma has never liked Charlie – not in any way, shape or form. She thinks that he drags you down, she doesn't understand how you can put up with him, but because she loves you, she's never said a word. She tries to see him the way you do, but she still can't bring herself to like him."
"If that's true, why did she try it on with him?" Adam asked bitterly. "Did she finally see him the way I did – only better, what with her being female and all – and fall in love with him?"
"Adam, she didn't hit on him. He lunged at her, twice. She slapped him and left the apartment. She wasn't going to say anything but she doesn't like to keep secrets, it's on par with lying. And it's not the first time – whenever you're not around he's been too…" Robson paused to find the right word. "Familiar with her, sitting too close, touching her too much or too long. But this time she couldn't not mention it."
Adam visibly wavered, but then his face closed up again. "You're wrong," he said softly. "Charlie would never do that to me."
Robson sighed again. "I gotta say, I don't understand why you constantly stand up for him. I know you're old friends, but don't you see that he's dragging you down? He's bad news. Maybe you should cut loose – and give Emma a call."
Charlie suddenly realised where he had been during this scene. At this point, he had been in the shower room, but paused when he heard Adam say his name. Hearing Robson's comments had made him shake with rage, and he had missed Adam's response.
"You don't know Charlie," Adam replied. "He's the best friend a person could have. He's loyal and kind, and would rather I was happy than himself. He'd do anything for me – and he wouldn't think twice about it. He's never held me back in my life, he's always pushed me forwards, even when he's been too tired to move forwards himself. How can I possibly walk away from that? He once told a girl that he didn't like her – even though he was crazy about her, just for me. Because I liked her. He gave up his spot at the Junior Goodwill Games for me. He's done countless wonderful things for me, without ever expecting anything back. He was my first friend, and he's still my best friend."
Robson shook his head and got to his feet. He paused at the door, a pitying look on his face. "Maybe he was. Once."
"He's a good person," Adam insisted.
Charlie shook his head wonderingly. It had been a long time since any of what Adam had said was true, how could Adam still possibly believe all that? "I didn't know he knew about Lisa," he said, for something to fill the silence.
"Oh, you know how it is," Terri shrugged. "You hinted to Guy, Guy told Connie, Connie told Julie, Jules told Adam. It took awhile to filter through, but he knew. Of course, by that time, he and Lisa were dating and very happy together."
"How can he still believe what he said?" Charlie asked.
"He's an idealist, and just as loyal as you once were," Terri replied. "But given enough time, he could become just as jaded and hateful as you. Misery loves company – hey, you two could be alcoholics together!" she suggested with mock-perkiness. "And you could screw up the team because you both want the glory, and you could hit on each other's girlfriends, and you could secretly hate each other – hey, maybe you could even get aggressive when drunk and beat the living shit out of each other."
Charlie winced with every word. He had done all but the last one, and the way he was going, it might not be an impossible scenario, that he would hurt Banksie.
"No," he said firmly, both to the idea of hurting Adam any more than he already had, and the idea that Adam might one day end up like him.
"I have to go now," Terri told him. "My time is done."
"No, you can't go!" Charlie said, anxiously. "How am I supposed to go about my life, knowing you were here?"
Terri gestured to the fading scene. "If that's going about your life, is it really worth doing? Why don't you just sit down and have a drink and forget about me?"
"No!" Charlie snapped. He couldn't remember the last time he had refused a drink.
"No? Oh go on, you know how much easier life is when you're drinking. That feeling of being right, and just knowing that you're not at fault, it's those other 'assholes'."
"Shut up, Terri. I don't want a goddamned drink!"
She smiled, her face instantly softening. "Good. I've been wanting to hear that ever since I got here. Now, I just want one thing to be clear before I go. You did not kill me. Nobody did – unless you want to blame alcohol and its addictive contents. I do not blame you. Annie does not blame you. Luis does not blame you for Annie. You shouldn't blame yourself. You shouldn't blame Adam because it was his car you were in. There is no blame. Ok?"
"Ok." He gulped, noting that she was beginning to fade.
"You don't believe me," she said. "But you should, and one day, I hope you will. Talk to Adam, he's got more time than me. Plus, he can hug."
"Don't go!" Charlie called, wishing for just a little more time with her.
"Bye, Scrat. I love you."
"Is gra liom thu," He replied, the Irish phrase rolling off his tongue perfectly as if it had not been almost ten years since he last said it.
"Oiche maith." She gave him a wink.
"Night, Gremlin."
"One more thing. You can get a girlfriend, you know. I'm too dead to be jealous. Our love was enough for me to feel happy about for eternity – you gave me heaven, Charlie."
Notes: Wow, I actually really like Adam today. Seriously. But don't worry, I'm sure it will pass. Use of Don't Cry during the crash was not just me being obsessive (well it was, but…), there's actually a car crash in the music video (original version, not alt lyrics), so it does slightly tie in! On another note, Shoebox isn't forgotten, I'm just having a hard time writing about happiness at the moment.
Thanks to:
Carla – Not only a speedy beta, but left wonderful comments in the fic. Thanks hon.
Kristine – Thanks for the feedback, feel free to take credit for this since you inspired me.
Horisont – Thank you, after a few viewings of D3, it's quite easy to picture Charlie as the Scrooge type.
ann918/Gina – I hope the first ghost didn't disappoint. I didn't want to kill any of the Ducks off just to make this fic work. I have no such qualms killing Terri.
Q – Dude, go watch Muppet Christmas Carol now, I command you. STATION!
BanksiesBabe99 – Thank you for saying that the prologue was 'awesome'. *grins* I hope this chapter (and the following ones) live up to it.
Meme – Charlie is better than Adam. Yes. But see, I did really like Adam when I wrote this fic. It won't last, but for the time being, he's all right. See, that's me being tolerant at this festive time of year.
plainjane – *grins* Everyone is responding well to the alternate "Bah! Humbug!" line! Thank you.
Leslie – Is this update soon enough for you? This chapter would have been up earlier, but I wanted to wait for a beta before I put it up. I promise this will be finished before Christmas.
CakeEater'sGirly99 – Charlie should really have an old man's dressing gown and one of those silly bed hats for this, shouldn't he? That would make him really Scroogey.
KShyne99 – *eyes list* There's a lot of Adam fans reviewing today – look, three people with '99' in their name! And I don't think you're a nerd about watching Muppet Christmas Carol, I love it too. I think Fred is very adorable. There's something about a man in top hat and tail coat that just does it for me (hence my Slash obsession? Who knows?). I thought Charlie was the most likely to be Scroogey out of all of the Ducks, like you said in D3, he has that temper, and I expect that's just on the sidelines of his life, when things are bad, I bet it reappears. And I want the Ducks to stay best friends forever. I want to think that their kids all look out for each other at school and play on the same hockey team. I want to see all thirteen Ducks (plus all the D1 Ducks who vanished) as adults, go to a hockey game together – preferably with their spouses and kids. That would be a happy thought. And I love that you gave a long and random review, they make me happy. I'm also in the festive mood. *joins in the singing* Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way…