Notes: In which we finally begin to get down to brass tacks.
Warnings: None needed, for once.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The lamps were still burning when Loki opened his eyes, but gray light was starting to creep in through the windows. He was under the covers, wearing his pajamas, which was a surprise- Loki had vague memories of being roused and prompted to change out of his heavy, wet clothes, but he had thought he was dreaming.
The infirmary was almost perfectly still. Short, movable screens separated the beds and gave the occupants a little privacy, but Loki could hear the quiet breathing of people asleep, and it was comforting. He felt nice and warm, although a bit crowded, which was peculiar since he knew from experience the infirmary beds were certainly large enough to fit him.
And then he realized there was a single reason for both the crowding and the warmth: he was wrapped up in the arms of someone much bigger than he was. His first reaction was a brief, instinctive startle, and then the feeling of safety took over and he relaxed.
The first reaction had been felt, though.
"Loki?" Thor whispered.
For a panicky second, Loki considered pretending he was still asleep, just so he wouldn't have to talk to Thor and maybe ruin everything again. He realized a moment later it wouldn't work. Thor knew he was awake.
And besides he really didn't want to pretend.
"Hi," Loki muttered foolishly.
Thor tightened his arms a little. "Are you all right? That curse was… and then you fell asleep so fast- "
Loki felt himself get hot all over. "I was just tired," he mumbled. "Anyway, they only used it on me once. Are you- ?"
"I'm fine," Thor said.
So far, this conversation wasn't exactly going places, but at least they weren't fighting yet. Loki hesitated, and then finally asked the obvious question: "Why are you- ?"
Thor went tense, and for a moment Loki thought his brother wasn't going to answer, but after a moment he mumbled,
"I couldn't sleep, and then I could hear you… it sounded like you were crying, or having a bad dream, and I thought… when you were small and you were having a bad dream, you used to calm down if Mum or Dad held you, so I thought I'd try it. It worked."
"I don't remember that," Loki said, meaning both the latest bad dream and the comfort. It was hard to imagine himself as a baby, and Dad holding him.
"You were pretty small then," Thor repeated quietly. He was still holding on, as if Loki might have another nightmare any minute- or maybe Thor himself might- and Loki went along with it. After a minute Thor said, into the back of Loki's head, "I'm sorry. For being such a terrible brother, I mean. I've been awful to you." Loki wanted to protest, if only because Thor sounded so sad, but his brother didn't give him a chance. "I didn't really mean to be, I just… I... I don't know. I don't know what I thought… But when they, when they said they were going to… what they were going to do to you when they caught you... And then when they really hurt you, I just…"
"I felt the same way," Loki said. "When they were hurting you, I wanted to stop them... I didn't know what to do, but I wanted to... and... thank you for, for protecting me from them."
"I didn't do a very good job," Thor muttered.
"You did everything you could," Loki said, remembering. "You got in front of me, even though you knew what, what that curse felt like. Thank you."
Thor patted him awkwardly. "Thanks for coming to look for me. Now, why don't you try to go back to sleep for a while."
"Okay," Loki agreed, and after a while, leaning back against his brother, he did.
~oOo~
The infirmary was bright and sunny by the time Loki woke again, and he could hear people moving around. He sat up, pushing off the blankets, and rubbed his eyes. Thor had pulled a chair over to the foot of Loki's bed and was sitting there as if guarding his brother. He raised a hand and smiled a little when Loki sat up.
"Good morning," Mitchell whispered, peering around the screen that separated their beds. Stark, who was pacing quietly around the room, looked over in relief as Loki whispered back. Loki wondered whether the head boy was hanging around just to make sure everyone woke safely. George and Annie, who was by herself on the far side of the infirmary, were just getting up, too. There was no sign of the Bartons.
Loki hadn't stopped to think about whether their parents might have been contacted and told about their adventure. The first clue he had that anybody outside Hogwarts knew came when a short gray-haired wizard, with a tidy moustache and dapper gray robes, came bursting through the door into the infirmary.
"Dad!" Stark exclaimed, startled and maybe a little alarmed. His father didn't reply. Instead, he stormed across the room looking absolutely furious. Stark looked as though he was trying not to duck, and Loki thought if the younger kids hadn't been present, the head boy might have run for it. Thor stood up as if he was ready to defend Stark, which even Loki knew would be a stupid thing to do.
With that said- Loki was on his feet, too, in case Stark needed any more help, and Mitchell looked ready to intervene as well. To Loki's great relief, Professor Slughorn came through the door right behind Stark's father. Surely he wouldn't hit or hex his son in front of a teacher?
Honestly, though, he looked angry enough to do either. "You stupid- " Mr. Stark raged, as he reached his son. "What were you thinking?"
"Dad, I- " Stark began, looking helpless- and then his father had his arms wrapped around him, spluttering,
"You could have been killed, what would we have done- "
Loki remembered what Stark had said that day last fall, about being his father's only son and heir, like that was the only reason for his dad not to give him another exploding broomstick to test.
Loki had a feeling Stark was probably wrong about that.
For a few seconds Stark just stood there with his mouth open, and then he cautiously reached up and carefully patted his father on the back. Embarrassed, Loki looked away.
Just as Rogers and Rhodes came in, each carrying stacks of folded clothing.
"Odinson," said Rhodes. "And... Odinson. Get dressed and come with us."
Rogers smiled at Loki, who probably looked alarmed- he certainly felt like it.
"Madame Pomfrey says you're both fine to leave. Your parents just arrived, and they want to see you."
~oOo~
For just a second, when they walked into Professor Coulson's office, Loki thought their father was going to blow up exactly the way Stark's had. Dad's face was dark, his one blue eye flashed, and he sort of puffed up like an angry owl at the sight of the boys. It really wasn't like Dad to get uncontrollably angry, but he was scary enough when he was only stern.
Loki hesitated in the doorway. Thor grabbed his hand, then both boys cringed as Dad opened his mouth.
"Odin," said Mum, in a warning voice, and "Clarence," said someone else. Loki glanced over in relief to see Professor Sprout sitting in the chair at Professor Coulson's desk.
Dad looked over, too, at both Mum and the professor, and his expression was embarrassed. Mum whisked past him and got an arm around each of her sons. Loki hugged her, hard, and then slipped under her arm to go hug Dad, too. Dad's big hand cradled the back of Loki's head and his arm was so tight around Loki it almost hurt.
"All right. I'll just leave you," said Professor Sprout quietly, and left the office.
Mum cast another warning look at Dad as they all sat down together. There was a fireplace in the corner of the big office, with chairs grouped together in a friendly way. Loki had to suppress the urge to giggle as he imagined Professor Coulson in his border collie shape, curled up in one of the chairs before the fire.
The giggle faded away as Mum turned to them, Thor in the chair right next to her and Loki beside Dad. Her face was terribly stern as she asked,
"What happened?"
"It was all my fault," Thor said quickly.
"Mine, too," Loki insisted, a hard, sharp-edged lump rising in his throat.
"I didn't think... it was daylight," Thor explained, ignoring Loki's interruption. "I didn't think anyone would, would come in like that. I thought the wards on the castle would keep anybody out who didn't belong. And Clint, well, he's not as strong a flyer as he'd like to be, he wanted to go out for Quidditch next year but there's no way he'd be ready, so we- my friends and I- have been having extra practice with him. And yesterday I had the period free, and Clint didn't want to go to Herbology, so- "
"Why didn't he want to go to Herbology?" Loki asked, although he had the nasty feeling he already knew the answer.
Thor flushed. "He said he finds it... it's uncomfortable, being in classes with Hufflepuff, with everyone siding with Loki." He cast a complicated look at Loki, but before Loki could say anything Thor went on, "Anyway, he slipped away, and we went out to the flying ground, and..." He gulped. "And then... they showed up and grabbed us."
It was pretty clear Thor wasn't eager to keep talking, and after a minute Mum turned to Loki. "And how did you get involved?"
Loki gulped. "We were going to class, Stark was walking with us, and he spotted Barney Barton- " Loki went hot all over as he imagined telling about Barney spying, just the way Loki did, but then a thought came to him. He blurted, "What happened to Barney and Clint? Where are they?"
Mum glanced at Dad, who said, "The older boy had to be taken- "
"Not to Azkaban," Loki said sharply, panic rising. "I know he, he shouldn't have used that curse, but he really didn't- he didn't mean- he was just- please don't let them- "
It took his parents a second to figure out what Loki was talking about, which wasn't surprising considering how incoherent his words were. Dad reached over and took his hand.
"St. Mungo's," he said loudly, so Loki would have to hear him. "Not Azkaban." Loki took a quick breath and controlled himself. Dad looked at Mum, who explained,
"I spoke with him before we came to find you- Madame Pomfrey felt he was physically unhurt, but she was very concerned about his state of mind." Remembering Barney's hysterics, Loki gulped and nodded. His mother said gently, "I spoke to him for a while this morning, and I really think the best idea is for him to spend a few days at St. Mungo's. You remember my colleague, Madame Strout? She's done some very good work with witches and wizards who were... troubled, when they came back from the war. I think she can help him a great deal, and it seemed a good plan to have him stay at the hospital for a few days, so she can keep a close eye on him for now." Mum smiled reassuringly. "He's not going to be punished for using the Cruciatus curse- he was too scared and angry to think clearly, and it's pretty clear he's been scared and angry for a very long time. But I think he'll be all right, Loki. He and his brother are the boys you sent the gifts to at Christmas, aren't they?"
"You didn't tell them, though, did you?" Loki asked anxiously.
"No," Mum assured him.
"That was from you?" Thor asked. "Clint told me someone had sent him a model of a Welsh green dragon- he really liked it, and he wondered if it was from me." He frowned, puzzled. "Why did you do that?"
Loki wriggled. "I just thought... they might not get very many gifts." He had sent Barney a box of sweets, figuring that was a safe choice, but he'd wanted to give Clint something that felt like a real present.
Thor gave him a very strange look. "He liked it a lot."
"That's good," Loki mumbled.
"Barney is in good hands," Mum returned to the point. "He'll be back here as soon as Madame Strout thinks he's ready." She paused. "And I've been looking into the boys' living situation, to find ways to make things better for them away from school. I'm working on it. Try not to worry too much, sweetheart."
"Okay," Loki whispered. Then- and he wasn't stalling, really he wasn't- he asked, "What about Mr. Sinclair? Is he- "
"Now, he is on his way back to Azkaban," Dad said. Loki looked up, ready to protest, and Dad raised a hand. "Not in the same transport as the two Death Eaters. Horace- Professor Slughorn- made a small amount of Veritaserum early in the term, after the school got word of the Death Eaters. He thought it wise to have some on hand in case it was needed, which it was. Sinclair was quite willing to take some, and the Department of Magical Law Enforcement was therefore able to verify his story of being brought along against his will."
Loki was aware of a feeling of relief at the knowledge Mitchell's loyalty hadn't been misplaced. Then he asked, "But if you know he told the truth about everything, why is he- ?"
"He has seven months left to serve on his original sentence," Dad explained. "Under the circumstances there is no reason to think any time will be added, but he does need to serve out the rest of his existing sentence. Now," Dad went on, firmly, "tell us about how you ended up in the Forbidden Forest."
Loki swallowed- he had been sort of hoping Dad would forget about that.
"Well," he said desperately, "Stark saw Barney watching Thor and Clint, only he didn't know that was what he was doing, and he went over to see, only he had to take us- Hufflepuff- because he couldn't leave us alone. So we all, all sneaked over to where Barney was- " the corner of Mum's mouth twitched, just for a second- "and then we saw Thor and Clint in the flying grounds, and Stark was just about to speak to them when, when the Campbell-Hardwickes came out of the Forest and cast the Imperius curse on them and, and made them go with them- " Loki glanced from his mother to his father, hoping they weren't too confused by all the thems in his speech.
"And Stark followed, taking you all with him?" Dad demanded.
"No, nononono," Loki said hastily. "He told us to go get help. The Hufflepuffs. He told us to stay together and go find Professor Sprout and tell her what happened. But, but I- "
"You followed him," Dad said sternly. Loki swallowed hard and nodded. Mum spoke up again, more gently.
"You didn't want to leave your brother, did you?" she said, like it was obvious. Thor looked at Loki as if he hadn't ever stopped to think how Loki had ended up in the Forest in the first place.
"I... I just couldn't..." Loki spluttered. "And anyway, he was, they were..."
"They were what?" Dad prompted, glancing at Mum as if to check whether he was using a calm enough tone of voice.
"I... I... " Loki stammered miserably, looking down at his hands so he didn't have to see everyone's eyes on him. "They were- "
"They were what?" Mum prompted gently.
And this was the crisis. Loki looked vaguely down at his twisting hands, not really seeing them, and tried to decide what to do, what to say. Admit to spying, to listening at doors? Or miss his chance to actually talk to them about, about everything, about who he was and where he came from?
Mum reaching toward him, pulling him close as they sat together in the library.
Dad smiling as the picture of Loki and his friends appeared in the developing potion.
There was no decision to be made.
Voice high and tense in his own ears, still not looking up from his hands, Loki blurted,
"They were my, my responsibility. They- "
"Loki," Mum tried to interrupt him, "how can you possibly think you're responsible for- "
"Because," Loki said shrilly, "they're my parents. And you know it."
There was a harsh intake of breath- from who, he couldn't tell- and Loki finally looked up to see his entire family staring at him.