WARPED

Chapter 17

Jocelyn and Hazelle froze. Leave it to the two of them to get caught.

"Well?" asked Stan angrily, looming over them.

"Well…we uh…we were just—um…" stammered Hazelle.

Jocelyn decided to take charge.

"LISTEN HERE, OLD MAN!" shouted Jocelyn, pointing an accusing finger at Stan. "We know about your portal, and since I opened one today, you're gonna help us!"

"You—portal—what?" Stan asked, confused. "And I'm not that old!"

"Well you seem to be somewhat elderly—" Jocelyn began.

"That doesn't matter!" Hazelle interjected. "Stan, we need your help. Today in the woods Jocelyn opened a portal, and Dipper thinks that she's a portal jumper. Also we think your portal can get us home."

"How in blazes do you know about that?" Stan demanded, his face darkening. "I've kept this a secret for 30 years!"

"TV show. Huge plot point," Jocelyn answered, crossing her arms across her chest.

Stan glared at Jocelyn. "That stupid alternate reality. How much have they shown you?" Jocelyn opened her mouth to respond, and Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. "Never mind, I don't wanna know."

Hazelle pressed on. "So now that that's cleared up, can you help us?"

Stan sighed and sat down on a nearby chair. "Gee, I don't know kid. Using the portal could be dangerous. And what's this about that one opening a portal?" he asked, jabbing a thumb in Jocelyn's direction.

"Just what we said," Jocelyn answered, puffing some loose strands of hair out of her face. "And I have a name, you know!"

"Yeah, yeah," Stan replied, rolling his eyes. He turned to Hazelle. "So what happened?"

Hazelle thought for a moment. "Well, Lucy was being her sullen self, and she happened to mention in front of Dipper and Mabel that 'this is a TV show.'" Hazelle began, putting quotations in the air with her fingers. "She managed to seriously piss Jocelyn off, and Jocelyn told her off. She seemed to get really worked up, and when she was done, she threw her hands in the air. Then it gets weird." Hazelle pushed her glasses up her nose and took a deep breath. "It got really windy, and this black hole looking thing just, I don't know, opened about ten feet above Jocelyn. It was scary. Once Jocelyn realized what was going on, and noticed the portal, she screamed, and then she fainted. Once that happened, the black hole closed, and the wind stopped. None of us knew what to make of it. Then we took Jocelyn back to the Shack."

Jocelyn listened to the account of what happened, interested. It was so weird to hear Hazelle talk about Jocelyn opening a portal—to describe what it had been like to watch her best friend faint from the aftereffects of portal jumping. It was almost like she was listening to Hazelle retell the plot of some crazy fantasy novel.

Except this wasn't a novel (as cool of a novel as it would be). This was real life. Jocelyn really had powers.

Stan nodded, thoughtful. "That definitely sounds like a portal jumper. Sharp emotional peak, the fact that it vamoosed as soon as you freaked, the loss of energy," he observed. He looked at Jocelyn. "Has this ever happened before?"

Jocelyn thought for a second. "Not that I can think of. The only instance I can think of is when I was five and had a temper tantrum because I couldn't have some candy or something. Our power went out for four hours."

Hazelle gasped. "That actually makes a lot of sense! I just remember noticing the lights flickering sometimes, more when you were angry or really excited."

Jocelyn made a face. "Really?"

"Yeah," Hazelle replied. "Remember when in fourth grade when you found out you were playing Rapunzel in the school play? You squealed and jumped up and down, and Mrs. Freud commented that they needed to fix the lights in this room."

"But that room had really crappy lights, Haze," Jocelyn said, crossing her arms. She wasn't one to be skeptical, but the probability of her being a portal jumper was something she wanted to be sure of.

"Okay, well, regardless the lighting situation at your elementary school, you definitely show symptoms of a portal jumper." Stan didn't seem happy to deliver the news.

Jocelyn paled. "What does that mean though? And how do I control it?"

Stan sighed again. "It means that you can jump realities. You just need to keep your emotions in check."

"Wait a minute," Hazelle interjected. "Dipper read in the journal that opening portals can be done at will. How does she do that?"

"I'm not really sure," Stan admitted. "I know that it takes a lot of concentration, and a lot of energy. I can do more research, and help you not destroy the town."

"What about your portal?" Hazelle pressed.

Stan shook his head. "No. It's too dangerous, and I don't want to risk sending anything too big. It might mess something up." His tone made it obvious his decision wasn't up for argument.

Jocelyn beamed. "Looks like we're stuck here a little while longer."

Hazelle rolled her eyes. "We can't stay here forever, Joss."

Stan began pushing the two of them back to the elevator. "And if by here you mean here, you're right. Beat it, you two, and don't sneak down here anymore. I'll get you if I need you." He punched a code into the elevator. Before the door closed, he uttered one final warning. "Whatever you do, do not tell Mabel and Dipper about this. They're bound to be curious, and I couldn't live with myself if either of them got hurt."

Hazelle pretended to zip her lips, and Jocelyn struck a salute. "Sir, yes, sir!"

Stan rolled his eyes, but a smirk played at his lips. "Go get some sleep, kids. I have a feeling tomorrow's gonna be a good tourist day."

The doors shut, leaving Grunkle Stan to his lab and his secrets.

XxX

"Well that was helpful," Jocelyn commented as they arrived back in the gift shop.

"It certainly wasn't unhelpful," Hazelle, ever the optimist, replied, cleaning her glasses on her shirt. "I guess we'll just have to play it by ear, and in the meantime, look for other ways home."

The two friends trudged up the stairs to the twins' room, lost in thought but keen enough to look out for squeaky floorboards—the last thing they wanted was to have to explain to the twins why they were sneaking around the Shack so late at night.

Jocelyn was quiet as they climbed into sleeping bags and settled for bed. "Hazelle?" she asked after a moment of silence.

"Yeah?" Hazelle whispered, already half asleep.

"Do you think I'm… dangerous?"

"No, Joss, I don't. You're a good person; don't think about it too much. Get some sleep."

Jocelyn rolled over and faced the wall, but sleep never came.