Worst And Best

It was dark. That was the first thing he noticed when he opened his eyes. It always was. There was something on his lap, pressing him down. At first Ianto thought it was metal, like the one that had laid across him in his dream but it was just a blanket. He didn't know whether this made him happy or sad. Both, most probably.

He liked the warmth of the thing covering him but he had never been against feeling his lover hold him down, his fingers sliding across his cheeks, always there even in the darkness. Even when he refused to acknowledge that he was the one moving that hand.

A foreign sound tore him away from his memories and he willed himself to search for it. In the end it turned out it wasn't something he had never heard- just his mobile ringing. It must have been the thing that had woken him up, he mused as he reached for it.

He listened to the other side, then put the telephone back on its place.

He had liked the darkness, it had enveloped him, welcoming and cold and familiar. Nice and safe, as ironic as that was.

'She..."

Oh well, he had to take a shower now, didn't he. There was so much to do and there was nothing better than starting the day with cold water cleansing his body from dirt, sweat, memories. Ignoring the empty bottle of pills- he couldn't even remember the name of it and he had bought it yesterday, he made his way to the bathroom.

"She is..."

He should tell Jack about the black-outs, though, the other should know how to help him. They were starting to get shorter and shorter which could mean that Ianto was starting to get the hang of it. Which honestly scared him to death. Well, not literally. He wanted to laugh at his own joke but then people on the street would watch him even more strangely than now.

"She is g..."

Still, there was the possibility that Jack won't believe him, laugh at him and next thing he knows would be a group of people forcing him into a hug-yourself type of shirt. Which, okay, he liked himself but no. Not when he knew what happens once you find yourself surrounded by people dressed in the same way. Or worse, the immortal would believe him. And then. Well, Ianto had no idea what would happen but it won't be them riding into the sunset on a white horse.

"She is go..."

Owen and Gwen were sharing guilty looks and Tosh was doing anything she could not to be in their company. It didn't take a genius to figure it out. Especially not when you have seen the footage. Although Jack was still as obvious as always. Ianto sometimes admired him. Maybe mostly when his big smile and innuendoes were turned the Welshman's way.

"You free tonight?" was the first thing that left the immortal's mouth when Ianto walked in his office to collect the empty cups.

Sure, he was. After all

"She is gon..."

drinking whatever booze you had first laid your eyes on, watching crappy TV and popping a pill every 10 minutes wasn't a real plan. He nodded.

"Cool. I'll be waiting here when the others leave. Bring me some coffee, would you?"

"Yes, Jack." He smiled. The only thing he had left from his former lover, his soul-mate and he dirtied it like that. Yet, it felt so good on his tongue and even better when it didn't ring in an empty room, but was directed to a man, to a Jack!

All he had to do was ignore his teammates, pretend not to see the twinkling of Jack's eyes every time the man looked at him and keep his mind clear.

"She is gone, Yan."

The statement rang clear in his mind and he almost dropped the cups. No! No, she wasn't. That wasn't his mother, the woman that called him and told him this in a cold voice before hanging up wasn't his sister. They were strangers, both of them, and he couldn't really blame Rhy for acting so cold after everything he had gone through to avoid meeting them.

But even if they hadn't been his true siblings... they were the only one left. His own ones were dead, buried in the remains of a broken world. And sometimes, just for a second, he wished he was with them. With Him.

That was the reason why he had avoided Rhy and his mother. He was beyond scared that they will take one look at him and just... know. And there was nothing like your mother watching you with empty eyes, hatred clear, as she was calling you a stranger, a freak. Ianto could feel his heart breaking just imagining it, he didn't want to think what would happen if it became reality.

It didn't matter now.

All he had to do was ignore his teammates, pretend not to see the twinkling of Jack's eyes every time the man looked at him and keep his mind clear. Turn a blind eye to the pain piercing every inch of his body.

Ianto turned toward Tosh, smiling,

"I'm about to brew some of Jack's industrial strength coffee. Would you like a cup?"

Being Jack's lover had taught Ianto many things. Never walk alone at night. Never ever talk to strangers, especially one you have met while walking alone at night. And his favourite one- waking up with chaste kisses being pressed on your throat meant sex. Not that he minded, not one bit.

"Jack," he sighed, twisting his head in a blind search for the other's lips, too lazy to open his eyes still.

Luckily, the other man took pity on him and seconds later his lips were pressed against something soft and warm tongue was probing his mouth.

Ianto let himself be turned on the other side to face his lover. Hands were caressing every inch of his body and he could do nothing but shudder with delight and thank whatever deity was listening that Jack was from the people that didn't need coffee to wake up in the morning. The Welshman, on the other hand, was, but he was slowly yet surely breaking that habit. Especially when Jack was making such convincing arguments for it.

His lover pressed their bodies together, rocking them back and forth gently. There wasn't enough friction, even when Ianto's cock was rubbing against the other's firm stomach he wanted so much more.

"In me," he gasped after a particularly long kiss. "Please, Jack."

The only answer he got was a deep chuckle and all of a sudden he was on his back, legs bent and open. Soft and pliant just as Jack liked him, just like the Welshman loved to be for him. The kisses didn't stop, lips slid with such inhuman gentleness over his flushed lips and yet his mind zeroed only on the finger pushing slowly into him.

He winced, he couldn't help it. Just a small twitch of his face, his eyes shutting tight for a second. Jack caught it anyway and all movements, pleasure stopped.

"Still sore from last night?" the immortal asked softly, hands caressing his cheek. Ianto leaned into the touch, nodding before he could help himself. It wasn't that he wanted them to stop or that he couldn't survive a few short seconds of pain in the sake of their pleasure, and he opened his mouth to say just that.

When it was brought to his attention that the hand cradling his cheek was suddenly gone, dripping with lube in less than 10 seconds and... disappearing behind Jack. The time it took Ianto to understand what was going on was embarrassingly long, but once he did, just in time to catch his lover dragging his legs together and lowering on his far-better-in-figuring-out-everything-than-his-brain stiff dick, his whole body froze and his mouth watered so much he was scared he might drown.

Ianto watched as Jack lifted himself, muscles tensing from the effort, then let himself drop on the Welshman's lap. His red, angry cock bouncing with the movements, slapping against his stomach. And if that
wasn't enough to drive Ianto insane, there was the heat, the tightness and those brilliant blue eyes clouded with lust and staring down at him.

"Not that I don't find you sexy just laying there like a big log, but I would love it if you helped me a bit," Jack teased all of a sudden, never ceasing his movements and Ianto cursed inwardly. How was he supposed to talk... to think when the most beautiful man was there, hard and wanton because of him?!

Probably sensing his inner turmoil, Jack swayed down so their faces were only inches apart and told him something. What, however, Ianto couldn't for the life of him figure out. The moment his lover was so close his senses were suddenly attacked by that wonderful smell he had once, long long ago, thought was an aftershave.

Jack, bless him and his perceptive soul, immediately backed away with a smirk. "Baby steps."

Ianto nodded, baby steps.

But the body in front of him was so beautiful, so perfect and he couldn't do anything but admire it in fear of dirtying it.

"Touch me, angel," the immortal breathed out. His back was arched, all that flawless skin there on display for the other to marvel at, touch, taste. And Ianto was only human, he could never resist something so god-like.

His hands, already embarrassingly ahead of his brain, were running over the tight muscles, nails leaving red marks and fingers squeezing so hard there might be bruises later on. On top of him Jack was twitching and moaning, his head tilted on one side and eyes rolling backwards.

A thought penetrated his lust-hazed mind. 'He had done that.' The realization did strange things to his body. His hips snapped upwards, the sudden desire to just throw Jack down the bed and thrust into his willing body grew even bigger, he could taste it in his mouth, when the immortal growled and his eyes snapped open to meet the Welshman's heated gaze.

Ianto returned the little smile sent his way with a smirk, far too feral for the occasion. Or maybe not- after all, what more basic than the need to claim, mark your love.

Encouraged by the delighted laugh that ripped out of his lover's mouth when he reversed their places, Ianto curled his hands around Jack's torso to lift his hips and begun thrusting.

Later on, they laid tucked in bed, sweaty and warm, Ianto's head nestled in the crook of the immortal's neck. The only sound between them being their shallow breaths and a few awed chuckles when each of them remembered the past hour or so, everything was simply perfect.

"Jack," Ianto tried suddenly. He waited for the man in question to answer, which came by the form of a hum. "Today is my mother's birthday and I was wondering if you wanted to come."

"Oh?" was the other man's short response and Ianto finally looked up from his comfortable spot. He had told himself to act cool and collected and not to pressure Jack but there was no way they were having that conversation not face to face.

"She has wanted to meet you since... forever," he said, meaning every word and trying to show it. A cloud passed over Jack's face, fast enough for Ianto to wonder if he had imagined it.

"I'd love to."

If it wasn't for those words, of course, or rather the tone they were spoken with. The other man was saying it as if Ianto had asked him to jump off a cliff. That was okay, the immortal was allowed to refuse. But why was he lying?

"There is no problem if you don't want to."

The Welshman smiled slightly. There wasn't, really. After all they had never discussed it, so he had no right to demand such a thing.

"No, no." The voice was flat, the eyes- lost in the distance. Ianto hid a wince. "I want to, just. Well. Who would they meet?"

"Who do you want them to meet, Jack?" Ianto hissed. Somewhere in the back of his head one voice whispered that there must be some misunderstanding. They must be having two completely different conversations because Jack couldn't be ashamed of him, he wasn't that kind of a man. The other, bigger, part of him was content with shooting daggers at the suddenly uncomfortable Jack.

"It doesn't matter what I want now, does it?"

"I'm sorry." The words, gritted through clenched teeth, were colder than ice. Still, he meant it. As he had told himself before, it was okay. It wasn't his place to decide something that would affect them as a couple. "Next time I'll ask whether it bothers you."

"And what if it does bother me, huh? What if I don't want to be 'my friend here Jack" or "roommate Jack"? What would happen then?"

"What?"

They stared at each other, bewildered, as silence grew between them. Something flickered in Jack's eyes and he threw his head back, laughing, Ianto soon following suit. It was almost surreal, the way they had understood each other with no words needed. If it was possible he felt his love toward the other man grow. And it had little to none connection with the fact that they were both morons.

"We are fools, aren't we," Jack laughed, tugging his lover down from the sitting position he had assumed somewhere in the middle of their argument.

"Yup. But," and Ianto had no idea how to say that without sounding as if he was already regretting it. "If you don't want anyone knowing about this, about us please just say so."

Jack just dragged him closer, pressing a soft kiss on his temple, "Never, my love."