Ok here we go, don't hate me for not really taking the plot any further…. -_- Cross country is starting up so I'll have less time but I'll really try to get these chapters up for you guys :D

Disclaimer: yeah I own nothing and stuff :P

DAY: Chapter 14

How long have I been sitting here? How many seconds have I given to the silence of this empty room? Perhaps if I stay still enough and waste enough time the world will stand still if only for a moment, as to let me catch my breath.

I haven't been able to breath for a long time now.

Time doesn't matter. The war doesn't matter. I don't matter. Because she's gone and if the guilt in my bones is any indicator, it's my fault. If I hadn't been born she would still be alive. Her brother would be making her breakfast and making sure she didn't stay up too late. All those lives on that never ending list that runs through my head day after day could all have been avoided.

Yet here I am. What kind of sense does it make for me to be alive when I would rather have never started to live in the first place? In a heartbeat I would give it all up if only to get her lungs to take in another breath of air.

Never again would I hear that quick wit of hers or that rare laugh. Never again would I watch in fascination as she pulled every strand of that glinting brown hair into a seemingly impossible tale. Never again would I smile at how she treasured that handmade ring as though it could hold up a promise that paperclips were too weak to support.

All of those nevers felt like a red hot rock in the pit of my stomach, all of it coiled tightness that no amount of screaming could untangle. Something in me cried out though. Something in me that had never forgotten and never would, mourn for the loss of the girl I had never appreciated.

My greatest regret will never be what I told her. It will forever be what I didn't tell. I didn't explain what she already knew. I didn't let the words fall from my own lips what I had never meant for her to know. That those words from before…the ones that seemed so long ago and foolish, they were fake. They were words of little thought and greater protection. But I should never have protected her in the first place. I should have always stood shoulder to shoulder to her.

"All of it, please listen, I take it all back, every last word of it. Please let me have it back." No answer was given. For a fleeting moment I'd half expected one. She had always been so clever, if anyone could, she would have found a way to cheat death.

Nothing could move me. I refused every prompt and order or threat. They wanted me to talk to Anden, as though I would be able to wrench him back from the rage I'm sure he was in. They threatened to kill me as though they could do such a thing. Thomas or at least I'm assuming it was him, had destroyed every last sample of the cure to the plague. I had to be kept alive for at least a few more days.

Even I wasn't that lucky though. To have died such a noble death would have been a blessing. It must have only been days…a week? I had stopped counting. Troops forced open the door, burning with hate for the killers of their beloved June Iparis. But their anger was too late. All they could do was kill those who weren't even at fault, and save the one who had started this.

There must have been a point when I was dragged out…I couldn't recall walking on my own. Everything was numb from not moving. A medical team poked and prodded, asking me things that I refused to answer. At last I was left alone, shrouded in comforting darkness. The hum of the car I was in lulled me into a strange kind of sleep. It was the kind that taunted you with oblivion yet kept your thoughts running. But for once my thoughts were of little things, things that swept me up with warm feelings. The corner of a smile, the way her hair had moved down her back when she walked. Her voice called out in anger that I'd never admit to be entertaining.

Something tore me from the sugar laced doze. A pain small and sharp rang out. My hands had moved on their own accord. The metal of the ring had bit into the skin, drawing blood in the dim light, as though from beyond the grave she was chastising me. How dare I think of her so fondly when I lay alive and well, I am far too selfish.

"Are you awake?" I hadn't even realized that the car had stopped. The dark of the night seemed to suck all sense of realism out of me. It even took me a whole eight seconds to realize that it had been Anden speaking.

His face was one of pity. Pale and gaunt, as though he hadn't been eating right for the past few days. I'd expected his uniform to be rumpled but instead was clean and crisp, buttoned up to his chin. His white gloves looked more cream in the lamp light. The chains reflecting as he climbed inside, sitting before me. For a moment I wanted to tell him to go away, that I didn't want his eyes full of sorrow that mirrored my own. I didn't want to see someone as powerful as him lowered before me at last, only to be offering comfort.

"Does it look like I'm asleep?" My voice was much less intimidating than I'd wanted.

"The medics said you were good to go. Usually you would immediately be subjected to some interrogation, or at least have to file a report, but I think you've earned a night in your apartment." He gave a weak smile and I realized that Anden was older than me. It had never really crossed my mind but it was a fact. Despite all my knowledge and skill he would always beat me in age and it was during times like this that such a thing showed.

"That sounds like great fun and all but I have to tell you something." The sudden thought of what information I held hit me. I had to tell him, it didn't matter that I ached or that my very bones seemed too heavy to lift. She had done all she could to make sure that Anden knew.

"It can wait until morning. A meal will be delivered for both you and Eden tonight." I wanted to scream. Couldn't he just shut up for a moment and listen? "Don't worry about the press either; you'll have a full escort to the briefing."

"I'm immune." Two words, that's all they were. But she had died for them. Such a sacrifice seemed ridicules but it had been necessary despite how much it churned my stomach.

Truth be told Anden for once in his life listened and clamped that damn mouth of his shut.

Ok I'm sorry about the shortness but I really thought this was a good stopping point. So yeah…there you go, pretty please review. I love reviews.

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